Phucula 237,919 21
10/15/2007 08:40 PM

My desperation
You're even worse. Loser.
Let's do it right now

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/15/2007 08:41 PM

cue Sage

Nachos 57,521 23
10/15/2007 08:42 PM

More like this is the thread where Phuc announces that he created the Sage account to let off his sleazier tendencies and promptly bans himself.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/15/2007 08:42 PM

A stroll through Renfaire
Is quite enough to tell you
Even dorks hook up

Teenage Frankenstein 77,546 17
10/15/2007 08:43 PM

Roses are red
Pickles are green
I like your legs
And what's in-between.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/15/2007 08:45 PM

fag

Phucula 237,919 21
10/15/2007 08:46 PM

Your eyes are so green
Greener than trees, though not
The sores on your twat

Bride of Frankenfurter Rockstar Drama Queen! 171,275 14
10/15/2007 09:21 PM

Your gesture was sweet,
to lick my tear when I cried.
Although I was upset,
your brother came in my eye.

Phucula 237,919 21
10/15/2007 09:30 PM

Is that a southern haiku or something?

The creepy Mailman reads your mail 176,459 56
10/15/2007 09:43 PM

I logged on, saw your smoking hot picture,
And promptly asked, "Do you wanna cyber?"
You saw me naked on cam,
Then admitted to being a sham,
"I'm really a hairy gay butcher."

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
10/15/2007 09:53 PM

hotgrll23: Hey, sexy!

Dogs Akimbo: You obviously haven't seen my picture since 'the accident.'

hotgrll23: What?

Dogs Akimbo: Never mind, I'm done.

Bride of Frankenfurter Rockstar Drama Queen! 171,275 14
10/15/2007 10:43 PM

Is that a southern haiku or something?

I do what I want!

Dead Hоrse 45,655 12
10/15/2007 11:06 PM

My Coleridge pulsating on your lip
Your toothless smile, your faulty hip
Oh how my nights are filled with luck
Now I've a pensioner to Frost.

TheFoye 55,700 16
10/16/2007 12:16 AM

Sex is what you lack,
when you're stuck in Iraq.
The chicks here are really hot...






...in the summer when it is 130 degrees.

TheFoye 55,700 16
10/16/2007 02:05 AM

In Iraq the chicks look good for a year.
Until we get back home and they go back to looking like cows and steer.







I suck at this game.

King Pubah, Scary Potentate of Dead Threads 56,805 18
10/16/2007 02:10 AM

Down in the West Texas town of El Paso
I met this woman
I gave her some head

She said it was good,
but her husband's an Emerson
I flipped her off and got out of the bed

King Pubah, Scary Potentate of Dead Threads 56,805 18
10/16/2007 02:21 AM

Frozen in time
-Lips to lips-
Moving together in rhyme
-Chest to breast-
The moment is prime
-Hips to hips-
Interlocking in passion
our cries echo and boom
Primed to reach our peak
Her dad enters the room

I die

Phla's fuckin scary 131,068 34
10/16/2007 04:23 AM

Pubah meat
Is good in a bun
With ketchup

ima sage's invisible woman 2,940 6
10/16/2007 04:59 AM

My nipples were hard, but then you talked

I was all kinds of wet, but then you decided to sweat


I was ready to go, but you just couldn't blow.

next time just hand over the dildo you disapointment

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
10/16/2007 08:21 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Lick my throbbing love pump
Lick it

Dave - Now Hiring 52,827 16
10/16/2007 04:48 PM

Fmmf hmmmm fma hmmmf
mmmf mmmm nuhnuh ermf
mmmmmf! mmmmmf!

errnuhnuh hmmf
aaarrrrr

numa errmf fmmf merrr
rrummm ffmm nunuh gerrr
mmmmmf! mmmmmf!

errnuhnuh hmmf
aaarrrrr!

- Once upon a ball gag -
by Dave

Hell's Belle 77,143 25
10/16/2007 05:10 PM

Dave, You evoke a weird mixture of emotions in me. I am in fear of you, yet strangely turned on at the same time.

Dave - Now Hiring 52,827 16
10/16/2007 05:12 PM

Funny, my psychiatrist used to say the same thing when I was a kid.

periodically bloody grace 6,166 11
10/16/2007 06:06 PM

I once had a guy
we started to kiss
then I found out his penis
was the size of a big fish
I ran away screaming
he wanted to know why
I said your to big I don't want to die
He smiled and said thanks
I left and I shuddered in fear
I was too close to getting rammed with that giant spear.

BlaiseMilla 67,049 13
10/16/2007 06:10 PM

I want to lay you on a bed of rose petals, and caress your perfumed breasts.
Then make love to your anus amd ejaculate on your butt acne.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/16/2007 06:21 PM

I just want to love you





in the butt

Dave - Now Hiring 52,827 16
10/16/2007 06:30 PM

What are "Back Street Boys songs that failed to make the top 40." Alex

Undies, about to be a mommy again! 101,398 77
10/16/2007 06:37 PM

What what in the butt?

Nachos 57,521 23
10/16/2007 06:42 PM

I love you so much, I feel I could tear,
The skin off your limbs to make a coat I could wear.

Don the hair from your head and suckle your breasts,
Once they were firmly a-fixed to my chest.

Your nails, oh so red, I could put on my own,
And fashion a scepter from your left femur bone.

Your voice I could mimic to speak to your friends,
And live out your life 'til its natural end.

And what's best of all and amazes me yet,
Is that I can feel this after just one quick chat.

I'm an internet stalker I know this is true,
but soon it won't matter as then I'll be you.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/16/2007 06:43 PM

I call that 'Ode to <insert any creepy GABber you've ever chatted with>'.

Lila Has A Spawn Growing Inside of Her 78,555 13
10/16/2007 06:53 PM

I met a real cutie
He had a nice type booty
He seemed to be the freaky lover type
Let's cut right through the chase
Come on and get a taste

You gotta lick it
Before we kick it
You gotta get it soft and wet
So we can kick it

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/16/2007 07:05 PM

Sheesh, Nachos. That's either the most creative or most creepy yet.

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,955 12
10/16/2007 09:11 PM

Secret Admirer

Your naked body excites me
in ways you could never know.
You make my heartbeat faster
and then I have to pee.

Looking through your keyhole
is just not enough for me
so last night I watched you all night
hiding 8 foot up in your tree

One day I will surely be with you
and you'll look at me with those eyes
as I leap out from your bedroom closet
and yell "Hey bitch, surprise!"

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
10/17/2007 12:50 AM

Oooooh baby (yeah yeah yeah)
We love each other long time yeaahhh baby
Oooooh baby (yeah yeah yeah)
Our love is for life, and so is our herpes

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
10/17/2007 01:05 AM

When she said she wanted
to get something between us
I didn't know that
she meant her penis.

jeepers creepers 68 5
10/17/2007 01:52 AM

"don't ask; don't tell"
has really gone to hell
when one guy is found
giving another guy the "pound"
and after popping the cherry
says, "now, suck on my twig and berries."

DieLawn 494 6
10/19/2007 02:49 AM

Roses are red.
Violets are

Ooops, I meant to pull out.
My bad.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 80,728 42
10/19/2007 05:30 AM

Is that a southern haiku or something?

Nah, then would have been her brother.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
10/19/2007 03:49 PM

tits, flopping in my face.
tits, flopping all over the place.
tits, in all of their grace.
thank you, dear dairy cow, for allowing me a small taste.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
10/19/2007 03:54 PM

your boobs are tiny.
you have a hairy heiny.
you make lots of noise.
you still play with toys.
your breath smells like poo.,
but you still turn me on, my dear shih tzu.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/19/2007 04:16 PM

That sucked in the other thread too.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
10/19/2007 05:34 PM

it's supposed to suck, it's crappy erotic poetry.

chicken oh chicken.
you are so finger lickin'.
you keep my heart a tickin'.
but, keep on bein' a prick'n,
i won't give you your nightly dickin'.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 80,728 42
10/20/2007 07:13 AM

Increase the
volume of your
ejaculate
so you can cum
farther, higher

Phla's fuckin scary 131,068 34
10/20/2007 08:44 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your rhyming sucks
Kinda like your grandma.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 80,728 42
10/20/2007 10:46 AM

Not everything rhymes
it just seems that way
'cause the manner in which
you think of words you say
likely reminds you of the times
you were mollested
while someone read Dr. Suess
while you were petted

Phucula 237,919 21
10/22/2007 09:24 PM

Interwebs hook-up
My prince albert in your can
Preparation H

I am the Bat. The night is mine. 61,976 36
10/22/2007 09:27 PM

For teh win.

ima sage's invisible woman 2,940 6
10/23/2007 04:06 AM

I am so hot
I like it alot
when you take the time
standing in my garden amongst the thyme
I could say it was stalking
but I so don't want you to take off walking.

Cletus Delroy Spuckler 280 6
10/25/2007 03:57 PM

From a small boy
I have watched you grow
tantalizing curves
gossamer hair
how I have longed
to linger in your love
your touch sends pulsating vibes
to my engorged man meat
now give me some Poe grandma

Count Fezigula 3,711 7
10/25/2007 04:51 PM

There once was a man from Nantucket



















That's all

Robin© 14,626 10
10/25/2007 06:30 PM

Frost me!
Frost me!
Frost me!
Would you get off that damn computer and Frost me.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/25/2007 06:33 PM

Sorry, once the redmen have had you, you're ruined for white men, prarie girl.

The Sage on an Express Elevator to HELL! 36,465 8
10/25/2007 09:05 PM

Chickens knows I love to flirt
Which is why he wears that manly skirt
But since I'm making my wedding vow
No poles to smoke but a furrow to plow
So again to poor Chickens I have to say
That I STILL don't butter my bread that way

Phucula 237,919 21
10/25/2007 09:20 PM

No, because you've had to settle for margerine.

And not the good, "Holy Frost-ing Shakespeare, I thought that Shakespeare was butter, yo!" margerine. The greasy kind that tastes like old tupperware.

Bravo Male 2,330 6
10/26/2007 03:56 AM

Roses are red,
Violence is cool,
Now make with the naked,
Before I chloroform you

chapmac 385 6
10/26/2007 03:01 PM

There once was a girl name may
Who went to the park one day
She met a bull-dyke
Whose tongue she did like
Now she goes to the park every day

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 80,728 42
10/27/2007 08:56 AM

<action>Son of the Pink Panther</action>Your lipzz
are like
a worm
...mango

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/27/2007 09:56 AM

For a woman to recover from a c-section
Sufficiently to handle the insertion of an erection
Takes a month or so
But even then, you know,
It looks like you're Frost-ing Frankenbelly.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Pram 80,728 42
10/27/2007 12:31 PM

<action>perverts some vintage stereo instructions</action>

if you push a button control
they scoot across the shelf.
This is "convenient."
Use one hand to hold it
still and the other
to push the button Vintage /Classic audio
equipment was generally heavy,
with massive power transformers and extensive use
of brushed aluminum
and other metals.
Some even had machined
metal knobs

huh huh huh huhhuh

peoriagrace 6,166 11
11/18/2007 08:07 AM

Milk milk
Lemonade
This is
Where the
Fudge is made.

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,955 12
11/18/2007 04:41 PM

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Ride me harder baby!
OooOhhh give me your man-mess!
PS Is it in yet?

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,955 12
11/18/2007 04:43 PM

Milk milk
Lemonade
This is
Where the
Fudge is made.

Don't you know anything? Its:
Milk, milk
Lemonade
Round the back, chocolate's made.

Phuc 237,919 21
11/18/2007 06:05 PM

'Round the CORNER, damnit!!!

Pram's Special Dressing 80,728 42
11/18/2007 07:23 PM

One time in
band camp I
shoved a piccolo trumpet
up my rusty dusty and had sex with it

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/19/2007 02:07 AM

Milk, milk, lemonade,
Round the corner, fudge is made.
[Press the button,
Pull the chain,
Out comes a chocolate choo-choo train.](1)
[Stick your finger in the hole,
Out comes a chocolate tootsie roll.](2)

1. Yonkers, NY version, c. 1966
2. Shrub Oak, NY version, c. 1968

Phuc 237,919 21
11/19/2007 03:08 AM

Frost-ing AWESOME, Whistler!

My dookie thanks you.

TomServo 3,759 7
11/19/2007 10:03 AM

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue

I really think that if you gave me a chance and got to know me that you might like me, and we could start out being friends. Perhaps our feelings would one day grow into something more meaningful and in a moment of weakness we would find ourselves seeking comfort in each others arms sending us on a romantic path that you would not have initially expected. We could get married and have a child named Bob... Bob would be an intelligent boy but have a troubled youth and be in and out of juvenile detention centers. We would love him in spite of the challenges and difficulties that he brought to our life but eventually the strain of raising a misguided youth would take its toll on our relationship and you would begin seeing other people secretly. One day I would come home and see you going down on my best friend Jeff.

Why would you do that... Slut!

peoriagrace 6,166 11
11/21/2007 05:13 AM

I like to give head
even in bed
but especially in a car
you better come quick
or I'll bite off your dick
if we're nailed by another car

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
11/21/2007 05:20 AM

Life would be so spectalurman
if I could bone up Uma Thurman.

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
11/21/2007 05:22 AM

c u in the funny pages.

oh my gross 336 5
11/21/2007 05:32 AM

my neck
my back
lick my Poe and my crack

oh wait somebody already wrote that crappy erotic song.

Pram's Special Dressing 80,728 42
11/22/2007 03:37 AM

<action>Mallrats reference</action>I like to give head
even in bed
but especially in a car

in the back of a Volkswagen?

peoriagrace 6,166 11
11/22/2007 10:18 AM

in the back of a Volkswagen?

Sounds like your MO.

Mista_Charisma 7 5
12/04/2007 06:21 AM

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll frost you with a rake

franksworth k. piclemyer 17 5
12/04/2007 06:29 AM

you where drunk as hell
same as me
now i have crabs
and it hurts to pee
spring break

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
12/04/2007 07:25 AM

You love my bollocks, you adore my nuts
You dig the hot pink seam
A ball on the left, and one on the right
And my destroyer in between

Gramps 0 5
12/14/2007 11:59 PM

In seven ways I love you
The first two are kinds of sex
The next three are those drinks you make
that leave me passed out on the deck
The next one is the dream I had
We skipped in fields while the sun shone
The last is when I wake up
In a bath full of ice and my kidneys gone

Brandon Is behind...Your Mom 0 0
12/17/2007 08:15 AM

roses are for you, violets are for me, take of my pants, and drop to your knees

NastyD 0 5
12/20/2007 08:48 PM

Jane you look so lovely there,
Standing in your nightie,
And when the moon flits,
Across your tits,
Cor Jesus Christ all Frost-ing mighty