Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/28/2007 08:14 AM

And so you may remember that back on the 26th of September, EJ traded in her Jeep for a Chrysler Town and Country mini-van. Well, not a week later, she was driving from one patient's home to another (she's a visiting nurse) on a fairly busy state road when another car came out of a side street and broadsided her. In an odd coincidence, the accident happened not more than a block away from Declan's house. Declan, however, was probably busy having a heart attack or baking a torte and didn't come outside.

The force of the accident pushed EJ's van into the oncoming lane, and so she quickly jerked her steering wheel to right herself. Unfortunately, the back end of the van was probably still sliding, and she ended up overshooting the mark and jumping the curb, ending up in the middle of someone's front yard and messing up the undercarriage of the van. Other than a nasty bruise on the outside of her left knee and a bump on the head, EJ was not hurt. When she got out of the van, though, she realized that she was going in to labor.

[Note: Arthur wanted to know right away what "kind of a person" ran into EJ. While I have been trying to discourage and downplay whatever racist/sexist/homophobic ideas his biological parents taught him, I could not help but burst out laughing as I told him that it was an Asian woman.]

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/28/2007 08:14 AM

EJ raised me via cell phone and I raced to the scene, and then raced her over to Akron General hospital. The doctors there did everything they could to forestall the delivery and also gave her some kind of injection (steroids, maybe?) that was supposed to speed up the development of the baby's lungs. They managed to keep her in the beginning stages of labor for the next four days, but then Bridget decided she was done waiting.

Luckily, her lungs were fully mature and she was able to breathe on her own right from the start. Also luckily, she was quite big for being born at 33 weeks gestation. They kept her in the Neonatal ICU for eight days, but she wasn't in any immediate danger. It was just to keep her heart and breathing monitored and her temperature regulated.

Bridget was released from the hospital on Monday, October 15, which happened to be Eamon's 18th birthday.

I learned a great deal over the course of the 12 days they were in the hospital, some of which I'll go into at another time. I have also learned that it is entirely possible for a person to go over three weeks without ever sleeping more than 90 consecutive minutes, but that doing so can cause temporary psychosis. And of course, I have learned that I will be a sucker and a sap for this little baby girl. My wallet and my dignity are in grave danger.

And so far, only one person has asked me whether I'm the father or the grandfather.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/28/2007 08:24 AM

Almost forgot: now with photo-y goodness!

Lila Has A Spawn Growing Inside of Her 78,555 13
10/28/2007 08:30 AM

You get clickies just for saying that Declan was baking a torte while your wife was in a car accident.
On a completely unrelated note, that woman is WAY too pretty for you, Whistler.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/28/2007 08:35 AM

I charmed her with my fife playing.

Lila Has A Spawn Growing Inside of Her 78,555 13
10/28/2007 08:45 AM

Oh, I'll bet she was charmed by your fife, all right. Heh.

Ditdah 123,110 14
10/28/2007 12:38 PM

That's your WIFE? Good Lord - how do you manage to grab her? Wow. Way to go, Whistler.

I'm very glad everyone is safe and sound. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!

And when you have to show up to her high school graduation in a wheelchair and you can't hear a damn word because your hearing aid futzes out, I'll be there to laugh at you.

King Pubah, Scary Potentate of Dead Threads 56,805 18
10/28/2007 01:09 PM

Pubah has a 23 year old GI son (33 months gestation)
and a 26 year old neice (28 months gestation)

No worries for your Daughter, Whistler...just grave concern for your dignity and wallet.

Bride of Franke][\][ furter Rockstar Quee][\][ ! 171,275 14
10/28/2007 01:39 PM

I think they look nice together.

You have a beautiful family Whistler, I had no idea how giving and caring you are. Congrats again.

Mr. Briham got a Chick Tract in his Halloween Bag 38,843 10
10/28/2007 02:07 PM

Prank idea: Secretly teach Bridget to speak so that her first words to Whistler will be "Grampa" instead of "Dada."

I kid, of course. I probably won't even lose my virginity by your age, much less have a baby.

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
10/28/2007 03:43 PM

Almost forgot: now with photo-y goodness!

Holy Shakespeare, Whistler, your daughter is HOTTTT!

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
10/28/2007 03:44 PM

(the one in the black dress, you perverts.)

King Pubah, Scary Potentate of Dead Threads 56,805 18
10/28/2007 04:55 PM

Damn Whistler, your wife is teh hot! No disrespect intended...

There's hope for a Pubah yet.

A zombie bit, chewed and clawed me in the Phlanx 1,919 8
10/28/2007 05:15 PM

(33 months gestation)
(28 months gestation)


Damn, I feel sorry for the mothers.

A zombie bit, chewed and clawed me in the Phlanx 1,919 8
10/28/2007 05:17 PM

Also, Nice to let your father-in-law be in the picture with your wife and baby. Would have made more sense for you to be in it though.

Count Vladimir VonCinderblockenia 27,578 25
10/28/2007 05:23 PM

Awww, it's nice to see the rare GABbers who are emotionally stable enough to have a family that doesn't hate them.

Congrats!

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
10/28/2007 05:54 PM

Congrats Whistler, I'm glad your wife and daughter are ok.

Captain Friggin Obvious 77,546 17
10/28/2007 06:15 PM

Nice baby, Whistler.

I'm not going to ask if you're the father or the grandfather, because we all know you're the father and the grandfather, you sick Frost.

Declan McManus, rarely simple, never pure 131,887 36
10/28/2007 06:38 PM

1) EJ, (Mrs. Whistler P. McManus) is that pretty and that hot. Her muffins are perky, and her bootay inspires poetry. No other McManus wife/partner is nearly that hot, not even my new squeeze, Jasper.


2) In the five years I have lived in this apartment, on a major north-south state route, I have lost count of the automobile accidents within a two block range. There have even been fatalities.


3) I will meet Bridget soon, possibly on Thanksgiving/Thanksgiving weekend. It would take much more than a Palm to coordinate everyone's schedule, it would take a mainframe. A Cray style mainframe.


4) I am grateful beyond words that EJ and Bridget are fine.


5) Whistler isn't the only McManus man in danger of serious wallet damage in honour of Ms. Bridget.

Captain Skippy 41,253 13
10/28/2007 07:54 PM

2) In the five years I have lived in this apartment, on a major north-south state route, I have lost count of the automobile accidents within a two block range. There have even been fatalities.

Why haven't they taken that crazy asian bitch's license away?

Undies, in process 101,398 77
10/28/2007 09:02 PM

Wow! Your wife and new baby are beautiful Whistler!

Congratulations for being good at Frost-ing!

Snork Undead. 45,655 12
10/28/2007 10:42 PM

You don't have to be good at Frost-ing to make children, you just have to do it in the right orifice.

Snork Undead. 45,655 12
10/28/2007 10:43 PM

Hint. Hint.

That's Why She Screamed 27,416 24
10/28/2007 10:46 PM

You should start planning on how to handle the first boy that comes over to take her out on her first date. She's going to break a few hearts that one.

Congrats Whistler!

Snork Undead. 45,655 12
10/28/2007 10:51 PM

Congratulations to Whistler on the beautiful ladies.

And congratulations to John on his first successes in the Fuhrer-John Jugend "Gab: The Next Generation" program.

I am the Bat. The night is mine. 61,976 36
10/28/2007 10:57 PM

Woah. Whistler's wife is a total MILF.

Ima 2,940 6
10/28/2007 11:20 PM

An absoulute beautiful family. The wallet hit is worth it.

The High Priestess of Satan 58,948 29
10/29/2007 12:04 AM

WHERE THE Frost ARE YOU REGESTERED?


You haven't answered me Whistler! I am willing to buy gifts when the man complaines about his wallet and yet says naught!

The High Priestess of Satan 58,948 29
10/29/2007 12:05 AM

PS I'm gonna steal your adorable baby!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/29/2007 01:04 AM

We're registered at Babies -R- Us, but I'm not sure if there's much left on the registry. My ten brothers and sisters and EJ's five, and the 21 neices and nephews we know about all live out of state (except Declan). That was the reason we registered in the first place. My sisters-in-law begged us to.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/29/2007 01:36 AM

I had no idea how giving and caring you are.

Thanks?


Speaking of giving and caring, I have to tell you guys how great Ohio neighbors are. I have boys ages 19 and 18 and a 15-year-old girl living in the house, so they're pretty much capable of taking care of themselves, their 9-year-old brother and the dogs. So I wasn't worried about basically spending twelve days up in Akron sleeping in hospital armchairs.

Still, whenever I ran back down to Canton to check on things, there seemed to be a different neighbor there with a casserole or something, or just making sure everyone at my house was eating, sleeping, bathing and going to school.

The day before everyone came home, the people across the street sent their cleaning lady over to make sure everything was spic and span for EJ's arrival.

Then the first week we were home, we never had to cook. One night a neighbor dropped off a lasagna, another night another one dropped off an entire Thanksgiving dinner, a third night we got four whole roast chickens and a five gallon pail of mashed potatoes, the next night a pot roast (best I've ever had!).

We haven't even lived there a full year yet, and everyone has been awesome.

Now my mother is visiting. Hopefully the leftovers will hold out until she leaves so she doesn't decide to make her famous tuna casserole.

Declan McManus, rarely simple, never pure 131,887 36
10/29/2007 02:18 AM

Ilene is a lovely, lovable woman, except when she steps in front of a stove.


She is as good with teenagers as she is with babies, maybe because she (and her friends in the parish) had lots of both.


I really do love her, and am glad I know her.



In fact, I almost love her more than Whistler.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/29/2007 11:32 AM

Shameless bump for the Monday morning crew.

Lila Has A Spawn Growing Inside of Her 78,555 13
10/29/2007 12:40 PM

You should start planning on how to handle the first boy that comes over to take her out on her first date.

Oh, that won't be a problem, see. My boy will be just 3 months younger than her. He'll grow up, post to Gab, meet her on Gab, then they'll get married and live happily ever after.
This is how it plays out in the fantasy world in my head.

Jaggy NINJA! 11,895 13
10/29/2007 12:56 PM

Awesome, me and Neep will be millionares by then, so we can attend the wedding at Al's resthome, and visit again to meet the first 3rd generation GABchild!

Bride of Frankenfurter 171,275 14
10/29/2007 01:03 PM

Haha, that wasnt meant to be a backhanded compliment. You know how we are Whistler.

Fanged Vampire Chickens 286,572 61
10/29/2007 01:07 PM

Congrats on the spud. I can imagine the hospital bill would be a bear if that little asian woman isn't well insured for causing the early delivery with her poor driving.

Chit 178,781 15
10/29/2007 01:27 PM

Wow Whistler...

No wonder you're birthin babies at 45 years old. EJ's got that Phoebe Cates thing going on BIG TIME!!

Kinda creepy but in a round about way, she may have helped most of the male GABbers around my age, "get a handle" on our earliest sexual feelings. "Nudge nudge, wink wink"

No really, Congrats again on the new edition and the Hot wife as well. Must be some kinda pied piper Shakespeare you play through that fife of yours!

Scarecrows puke straw 98,015 37
10/29/2007 01:28 PM

Thanks for sharing the story and the pic of your hot wife!

I found a clip of the cop interviewing the lady that hit the mini van.

Jew Girl 15,189 12
10/29/2007 05:32 PM

Congrats again Whistler! Sorry to hear about the accident. Glad everyone came out ok. Baby is adorable - until she starts talking back...






Oh, and your wife is hot.

Sally 62,262 18
10/29/2007 05:49 PM

I didn't read the story because it is long and I am already frustrated, but I clicked on the picture and the baby (and wife) is cute.


Good effort and congrats.

Count Fezigula 3,711 7
10/29/2007 05:59 PM

Good story man and I am glad to hear that both mother and baby are fine. CongratS!



Btw...has anyone ever told you that you look just like Steven Speilburg?

Hell's Belle 77,143 25
10/29/2007 06:19 PM

What a beautiful little girl you have there! I'm glad to hear everything is ok. Akron General is a wonderful hospital. I did my med school clerkships there.

Hey There Trixxie Ghoul 65,026 15
10/29/2007 06:32 PM

congrats, that's a cute baby.

Phucula 237,919 21
10/29/2007 09:33 PM

Awesome.

Whistler is the tits. Way to go, sneaky spermshooter!

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,955 12
10/29/2007 09:42 PM

Well, you're wife is HOT! No wonder you couldn't help putting the ol' baby-gravy up there.

Bridget looks like one of those dollies that wee themselves, you know the Zapf-Creation lookey likey dolls. That doesn't mean I don't think she's cute.