Chickens hung by the chimney with care 286,577 61
12/14/2007 11:21 PM

country fresh scent

merry loopmas 6,902 12
12/14/2007 11:22 PM

Just tell everyone you got crabs from the boss. That sure was one crazy office christmas party.

Sarah Christmas 30,601 8
12/14/2007 11:25 PM

I'll say! My boss is a woman!

Under the mistletoe 101,398 77
12/14/2007 11:26 PM

Next time, use a condom.

The Jerk 6,311 9
12/14/2007 11:28 PM

Stop Frost-ing the hobos that live in your back alley.

Trixxie Cumming Down Your Chimneys 65,026 15
12/14/2007 11:35 PM

Can of Raid should do the trick

Bravo Male 2,330 6
12/14/2007 11:47 PM

1. Tuck a strip of low grit sandpaper gently into the fur-fold.
2. Squat Thrusts
3. Profit/ maybe bleed a little

You're welcome.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
12/14/2007 11:53 PM

"Accidentally" drop something under your desk and while you're down there retrieving it, scratch yourself silly!

Hamburger Humper 460 6
12/15/2007 12:07 AM

...find someone in the office with heavy 5 o'clock shadow and pay him a fiver to eat you out under your desk...

Phuc 237,919 21
12/15/2007 12:09 AM

Langoliers.

Ditdah in a pear tree 123,110 14
12/15/2007 12:09 AM

Why in God's name did you think that was a good piece of information to share with this board?!?

Hamburger Humper 460 6
12/15/2007 12:16 AM

...hey, enquiring minds wanna know these things...

Dingy Spirit-Fingers 171,275 14
12/15/2007 12:17 AM

Hire a midget to sit under your desk.

santa got stuck in a manhole 21,646 29
12/15/2007 12:21 AM

...find someone in the office with heavy 5 o'clock shadow and pay him a fiver to eat you out under your desk...

A girl paying for oral sex!!! What great idea!

Hamburger Humper 460 6
12/15/2007 12:25 AM

...I like to plan ahead for any contingency. That's why I only shave once a week. You just never know when you'll encounter a chick with an itchy Poe and five bucks...

Sarah Christmas 30,601 8
12/15/2007 01:50 AM

Langoliers.

My vagina is NOT a barren time warp!

Marmite - freaking out since '79 12,955 12
12/15/2007 02:40 AM

Why don't you go into the toilet cubicle and scratch your muff? That's what I do when the ol' thrush starts kicking off.

Trixxie Cumming Down Your Chimneys 65,026 15
12/15/2007 02:42 AM

Here I treat you to the rare occasion I let my inner little vicious queen out of her box and all I get is three lousy clickie for it? Feh, I say, Feh, Feh, Feh.

Dingy Spirit-Fingers 171,275 14
12/15/2007 02:43 AM

Clickies mean nothing. NOTHING I SAY!


Fra ra ra ra ra

ra ra ra ra!

santa got stuck in a manhole 21,646 29
12/15/2007 03:34 AM

all I get is three lousy clickie for it?

I gave my clickies to Chickens. He said the same thing before you did and he was funnier.

And it smelled better too.

Phuc 237,919 21
12/15/2007 03:35 AM

My vagina is NOT a barren time warp!

I hear that flight 19 was spotted in there during your last gyno visit.

Sarah Christmas 30,601 8
12/15/2007 03:40 AM

Well, how else do you think Bronson Pinchot got in there?

Phuc 237,919 21
12/15/2007 03:52 AM

Would you like a lemon twist?

Sarah Christmas 30,601 8
12/15/2007 04:24 AM

Is that a drink?

If so, yes.

If its not, I would still like it.

Pram's Nuts Roasting (on an open fire) 80,728 42
12/15/2007 04:28 AM

<action>remembers "my Coleridge itches" is a sample on Filter's self-titled album at the beginning of Spent</action>

ALLLLLL MY LIFE, ALLLLL MY TIME...

Shaking Metal Like Scrooge's Marley 56,809 18
12/16/2007 12:28 AM

<action>Lying in an Ally Waiting</action>

Mind your own business, Jerk...


Hair of the dog that bit cha Sarah hmmmmm?

Shaking Metal Like Scrooge's Marley 56,809 18
12/16/2007 02:50 PM

"An itchy crotch means you're gonna have mind blowing sex"

Myth or Majic?

Sarah Mistletoe Anywhere? 30,601 8
12/17/2007 05:59 AM

Myth.

Kwanzaa Chi Chi 161,353 14
12/17/2007 06:02 AM

Brazilian wax.

KChikita - Locked and loaded! 128,359 98
12/17/2007 06:24 AM

More shaving cream.

Humphrey 51,764 12
12/17/2007 06:48 AM

Remember... more than five scratches and you're playing with yourself.

Dogs Akimbo 211,590 32
12/17/2007 06:56 AM

Ocham's Razor: scratch yourself and tell whomever sees you doing it to go Frost themselves.

The Rockin' Donkey [\m<>m/] 77,546 17
12/17/2007 06:58 AM

this should solve your problem.