That's What She Said 27,416 24
02/02/2008 11:21 AM

The neighborhood boys once put toothpaste on a pickle and ate it to induce vomiting. Their mom let them stay home that day.

Obese 3,430 7
02/02/2008 11:24 AM

Dropping out.

sparksinner 286 6
02/02/2008 12:32 PM

I neva skip skool. I go evry day en get perfect atendens award. My papy always said an educashion is de onliest way too get a head in life. I neva did know wat that ment. I alreddy got a hed.

sparksinner 286 6
02/02/2008 12:35 PM

Yo taco, please enlighten me: how do you fake explosive diarrhea? Please include how closely you can be monitored with whatever method you're describing.

Or is it as simple as an overdose of laxatives? Wait, that's no way to enjoy a day off.

DieLawn 494 6
02/02/2008 02:46 PM

For my school, you just had to have a parent call in to their special attendance line.
Fortunately for me, I sound a great deal like my father and both my parents left for work before I even got up.

I believe the correct term is "cha-ching."

If that didn't work, I would just go into the bathroom and fill a couple of glasses with water and pour them into the toilet whilst making grunting noises.

Swords will fuckin' cut you wide open 77,546 17
02/02/2008 03:27 PM

I never skipped school because I was a perfect angel as a child.

Dave's not here, but his mojo is workin 52,827 16
02/03/2008 12:16 AM

1 gallon of gasoline to 6 boxes of knox gelatin.

Pineapples optional.

Jolly Jeen Jiant 47,792 51
02/03/2008 08:16 AM

Have your twin attend your classes.

Blackwater 274 5
02/03/2008 09:47 AM

Paint your bedroom with your own feces and wail about how the worms want your eyeballs. Guaranteed time out of school and up to a week of detox if you eat enough poppy seed muffins to botch the obligatory drug test.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
02/03/2008 02:43 PM

I was lucky enough to have a very believable excuse in my senior year... I had undertaken years of orthodontic work that then required frequent visits before my surgery could take place. Fortunately for me, my orthodontist's office, surgeon's office, and my favorite coffee shop are all on the same block and only a five minute walk from my school. I'd either leave for my appointments ridiculously early or come back ridiculously late, or I would make up appointments that didn't exist. Later, I say to my father, "Hey daddy, I had an appointment with my surgeon today. Can you sign this?" He had no reason not to believe me.

In conclusion: Afflict yourself with orthognathic problems that require years of treatment and painful(ly expensive) procedures! Cue the ensuing hilarity.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
02/04/2008 10:01 PM

My senior year I convinced my mom it was "senior skip day" three or four times each semester.

My junior year I had bacterial meningitis and missed a month of school. The first half I was in the hospital, the second half I was re-mastering basic skills like walking properly and reading.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/04/2008 10:04 PM

Cocaine cut with ajax was my best (inadvertent) excuse.

Copiously bleeding nose, violent vomiting, and convulsions.

Only Sgt. Hartman wouldn't buy that one.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/04/2008 10:08 PM

So many of us used to go to the "Garden Bowl" a meadow in Duke Gardens on Duke Univ. campus when we had senior skip days in high school that the school started sending a VP around to check the bowl in the middle of the afternoon.

Ever see the scatter in a movie when someone yells "IMMIGRATION!"? Yeah, it was just like that only with bikinis, frizbees, and beer bought on fake ids.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/04/2008 10:57 PM

This doesn't really count but it shows how stupid I was as a kid.

My parents were on a company paid vacation in Hawaii. I skipped school one day and stayed around the house. The phone rings. I answer it. It was my father.

"I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that you skipped school or the fact that you were stupid enough to pick up the phone."

That may be why I don't like answering the phone to this day.