Use of Briham can Increase Gabber Fertility 70%! 38,843 10
02/04/2008 08:57 PM

Indian: "Welcome to our tribal lands. My name is Runs With Wolves. This is my cousin, Poops In Strange Places. He is not right in the head."

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/04/2008 09:02 PM

My pants.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/04/2008 09:04 PM

A McDonalds Big Mac container.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/04/2008 09:07 PM

The Devil Poops Prada

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/04/2008 09:08 PM

Fratberry's pants.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/04/2008 09:09 PM

McPant's handbag.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/04/2008 09:09 PM

All over this thread.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/04/2008 09:13 PM

A McDonalds Big Mac container.

I really want to know the story behind this, yet I am scared at the same time.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/04/2008 09:16 PM

He was returning the sandwich.

Chit 178,781 15
02/04/2008 09:19 PM

My buddy once Shakespeare in a Photomat envelope and stuck it in the night drop.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/04/2008 09:26 PM

The shower at the Grove Park Inn Spa.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/04/2008 09:27 PM

That was an accident, however.

Chit 178,781 15
02/04/2008 09:30 PM

The shower at the Grove Park Inn Spa.


Mud Bath?

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
02/04/2008 09:33 PM

Shower.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/04/2008 09:34 PM

Full Story

Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo 566 6
02/04/2008 09:37 PM

Do I get bonus points for pushing it down the drain with my fingers??

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
02/04/2008 09:39 PM

Blame it all on my roots
I just Shakespeare in your boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
I put on a brown show
It was the last thing
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I took a poo
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain

'Cause I take poops in strange places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I take poops in strange places

Phuc 237,919 21
02/04/2008 10:00 PM

I have never had to poop in a strange place before, though my first hike poop was a real eye-opener. It took me forever to find a spot that 1) provided an adequate perch; 2) was off the trail enough and away from water as per regulations; 3) out of potential eyeshot of other hikers, bears, and randy porcupines.

Wiping with leaves was fun, as was burying my leavings.

I hope to return some day to see what has spawned from my spoor.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
02/04/2008 10:03 PM

On the bathroom floor of an expensive condo. I was vomiting (food poisoning) and a round of explosive diarrhea presented and expelled itself as I was heaving.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/04/2008 10:30 PM

Fap fap fappity fap fapula.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/04/2008 10:39 PM

Glass top coffee table.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/04/2008 10:39 PM

Or so they tell me.

Jolly Jeen Jiant 47,792 51
02/05/2008 12:50 AM

Disgusting! I am not touching this dirty thread!

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/05/2008 12:56 AM

It's touching you.

sparksinner 286 6
02/05/2008 01:01 AM

A friend of mine made the mistake of wearing $7,500 diamond earrings during a triathlon. After the swim stage she took the swimcap off and realized the backing on one was gone, but the earring was still there. The only safe place to store that was...in her gut.

Next two days involved close inspection of ziploc bags. Pretty smart actually. Beats poking around a bucket. She got it back and got a professional cleaning job.

But now she can't wear them without people asking her which one, you know...?

The Rev. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,956 21
02/05/2008 01:20 AM

Appomattox Court House.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/05/2008 03:13 AM

My son at school in a library chair. His age 12; it was diarrhea.

Use of Briham can Increase Gabber Fertility 70%! 38,843 10
02/05/2008 03:46 AM

My son at school in a library chair. His age 12; it was diarrhea.

Wow, I thought my mom was embarrassing, but at least she never came to me at school and pooped on me while I was sitting in the library.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/05/2008 04:35 AM

I farted in the shower once, and instead of just a noise, I got a gusher. The poo chunks were pretty small though, so they went down the drain with no prodding from me.

However, the really bad part was that a few days later, the drain started clogging, so Spicey got down there and started pulling up greasy globs of hair. He said it smelled bad, and I didn't have the heart to tell him he was actually up to his elbows in my Shakespeare.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/05/2008 04:37 AM

He said it smelled bad, and I didn't have the heart to tell him he was actually up to his elbows in my Shakespeare.

But now you do?

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/05/2008 04:39 AM

From your past comments I can conclude that this was not his first time in your Shakespeare.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/05/2008 04:39 AM

Really, though, he was probably just wondering how all his jizz managed to turn brown.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/05/2008 04:41 AM

He said it smelled bad, and I didn't have the heart to tell him he was actually up to his elbows in my Shakespeare.

But now you do?

Yeah, but he's already posted in this thread once. He's not likely to come back.

Swords will fuckin' cut you wide open 77,546 17
02/05/2008 07:31 AM

He might now

Thud 68,506 19
02/05/2008 07:35 AM

I took a dump into the air-conditioning intake of a bank building in downtown San Jose.

Bravo Male 2,330 6
02/05/2008 07:51 AM

- The center console of my (now former) friend's BMW that his parents had just gotten him for graduation. It was a lot funnier before I sobered up.

- Into, and through, the fabric of a director-style folding chair at a family reunion. I was sick and wearing very thin PJ's.

SHP... Fool me once, fuck you! 181,795 70
02/05/2008 08:11 AM

When I was 12, I went on a camping trip with my family. The campsite had a bathroom area, but it was porta-potty quality, and when I went in to pee, I gagged a lot.
Two days into the trip, I had to poo, and I just couldn't wait anymore. Since we were camping along the river, and spending a great deal of time in it, I waited until we came upon some "rapids" so I just pulled my bathing suit aside and relieved myself of the big brown monster in my gut.

My final answer is "in the Guadalupe River, Regis."

Cmacker 5,303 10
02/05/2008 08:29 AM

I went with to a job with my husband one day... he was installing a driveway for a wealthy couple who had a stable on their property. They'd gone out for a while and we had no access to the bathroom.

After lunch my husband had to "go" and he disappeared for a while. When he came back I asked him where the hell he actually found a place to go without being seen. It was a wide open area with other houses around and no trees or anything. He told me he went into the stable and into the goats' pen and squatted down between them. (They had two pet goats in there too named Eddie and Teddie.)

Not so much because I wanted to see it, but more because I was scared they'd find out, I ran down to check. It certainly didn't look like goat or horse Shakespeare. And I felt bad for Eddie and Teddie.

So I grabbed a shovel and buried it.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/05/2008 08:47 AM

He might now

Thanks a bunch!


Dick.

Bean 8,602 19
02/05/2008 09:28 AM

The bathtub when I was about 3 or 4. My sister and I were having a farting contest.

I'm still not sure if I can claim victory in that one. My sister jumped out of the tub and screamed for mom though, I'd say that was her way of conceeding.

Use of Briham can Increase Gabber Fertility 70%! 38,843 10
02/05/2008 09:37 AM

Heh.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
02/05/2008 09:50 AM

The drivers seat of a sportscar, I was drunk and just sat on the edge of the door and curled a turd on the front seat..

At least it matched the brown wood dash...

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
02/05/2008 09:50 AM

A McDonalds Big Mac container.

I really really hope you were not working in the kitchen at Mcdonalds at the time?

Hammerhead 59,399 14
02/05/2008 01:41 PM

Poop story


That's probably the strangest poop I've taken.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/06/2008 07:08 AM

"There's a time for Shakespeare
And a time for God.

The last Shakespeare I took,
Was pretty Frost-ing odd."

Ahh, Gibby. Your poetry got me laid more times than I can count.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
02/06/2008 07:17 AM

My brother took an accidental dump on a Carousel horse at a local amusement park. It was one of those farts-gone-wrong.

For those of you who know where Knoebels is, don't ride the chocolate horse.

TomServo 3,759 7
02/06/2008 04:55 PM

A McDonalds Big Mac container.

Probably the most nutrients that the container ever held.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/06/2008 08:45 PM

The elementary school library bathroom in Gulfport, Mississippi. Course, Katrina had just blown through and the bathroom only had three walls, no running water and the toilet was filled to the brim. But it was all gonna be bulldozered anyway and the sink was RIGHT THERE....

The Jerk 6,311 9
02/06/2008 11:40 PM

In elementary school I was sent to the coach's office during gym class for misbehaving. I had to take a dump but wasn't allowed to leave the room so I crapped in the garbage can.

Rabble Ravos 63,472 21
02/07/2008 12:15 AM

The middle of a lake. People thought it was a turtle head poking out.

Hamburgler Humper 460 6
02/07/2008 12:23 AM

Comes down to one of two places:
a) empty paint can
2) 16 oz. styrofoam coffee cup

EvelKnievel 947 6
02/07/2008 01:09 AM

Night stand draw in a Philippine hotel while on shore leave

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
02/07/2008 01:21 AM

The morning after my 21st birthday, at a beach hotel, I woke up and needed to poop. a friend of mine had locked himself in the bathroom and was vomiting his brains out. Then I thought about the sink... but no thats gross. SO I went outside the room, saw two vending machines with about a foot in between them. I squeezed in between, squated and let loose. I felt bad for whomever had to clean it up.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
02/07/2008 01:32 AM

Draw? Yankee much?

Pram 80,728 42
02/07/2008 02:02 AM

<action>recalls the time he didn't make it</action>

Yard, steps, entry way carpet, hallway, bathroom floor, sink...

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
02/07/2008 02:18 AM

Yard, steps, entry way carpet, hallway, bathroom floor, sink...


two words....


Adult diapers,

Pram 80,728 42
02/07/2008 03:07 AM

HEY, I was just a kid!!!

6th grade.

sparksinner 286 6
02/07/2008 03:11 AM

Pram's most recent post reminded me of another friend with a truly unfortunate experience:

He'd just been introduced to his girlfriend's parents but had to run off to relieve himself urgently. How urgent? Like you're walking hunched over in a panic as the bubbling threatens to overwhelm your sphincter. He closed the bathroom door, put the lid up and started dropping his pants in one fluid motion. He was so relieved that he released before being fully seated. That was a mistake because he'd put the lid up a little too enthusiastically. It had fallen again just as he started to squat and landed just before he did. The image of a tractor-pulled fertilizer spreader comes to mind. Or pouring water on a spoon.

Poor bastard.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/07/2008 03:56 AM

Briham, that was really freckin hi-larious. My husband, son and I all laughed and laughed.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/07/2008 04:12 AM

On stage, during my High School production of Fiddler on the Roof. Apparently that wasn't "Tradition"!

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
02/07/2008 04:21 AM

In the mangrove-trees once while fishing. Stepped off the boat, held on to the trunk of the tree, stood on the roots and pooped. When done I took out my knife and cut up my tighty whities to wipe my Emerson.

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
02/07/2008 04:21 AM

Post script to that...


I bet the little fishies ate well that afternoon.

sparksinner 286 6
02/07/2008 05:15 AM

Mung Champ: and it sure as Shakespeare wasn't kosher.

Filly 39,193 20
02/07/2008 05:35 AM

A pond. I was very sneaky.

CupGirl04 117,784 37
02/07/2008 07:03 PM

This one time I pooped in a cup and then me and my girlfriend ate it. It was soooo sexy!

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/07/2008 11:18 PM

n elementary school I was sent to the coach's office during gym class for misbehaving. I had to take a dump but wasn't allowed to leave the room so I crapped in the garbage can.

In high school I had a friend that jerked off in the assistant principal's coffee mug.

Pram 80,728 42
02/07/2008 11:23 PM

Pram's most recent post reminded me of another friend

But I'm not your friend... Haha.

sparksinner 286 6
02/08/2008 12:49 AM

Pram: and you never will be with that attitude.

I was referring to the friend with the earrings.

Marmite blocks toilets 12,955 12
02/08/2008 03:51 AM

Once I was out walking in the woods and was overcome with a severe urge to poop. Being about half an hour or more from toilets I had to make the choice: Shakespeare in the woods or grow a tail.

So I hunt out a place to lay one out - not very easy when this is not exactly something you do every day, right?

Pants down, ass out I crap for England. Hell, I have never smelt anything so rank as laying one out in the open. Also, from out of nowhere I was beseiged by a plague of flies all wanting my still-warm dookie.

Ah, the memories.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/09/2008 12:41 AM

Accidentally pooped in the mouth of an 80 year old German SS officer after responding to his Craigslist post.

He had asked that I sing Shema Yisrael and polish off a jar of creamed corn the day before.

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
02/09/2008 12:43 AM

It wasn't me, but I was doing my laundry here at school and there was Shakespeare in the dryer.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/09/2008 02:12 AM

Some folks just cannot afford those fancy dryer sheets.

Kissdis and tell it to the Preacher 32 6
02/09/2008 03:58 AM

I shat (is that the correct past tense?) in an old shoe I found while camping. It was dark and I did not want to wander off into the night, so I pooped in it, and I threw it far. Some poo flung out.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/09/2008 04:34 AM

I once took a dump in the backyard.

But just replace dump with little boy and yard with backdoor.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
02/09/2008 08:58 AM

Pram: and you never will be with that attitude.

I was referring to the friend with the earrings.

Frost you you cumguzzling piece of Shakespeare, I would rather be PRAMS friend than yours you Frost-ing anal licking n00b.


Unless of course you are female and have nice tits, then I will be your friend.

sparksinner 286 6
02/09/2008 02:38 PM

Oh BC Bud, you really blew it. I've seen your name around GAB and always thought to myself, "there goes the perfect man."

The two most important qualities I need from a man are:
1. Appreciation of BC Bud
2. A love of B(+)(+)BS

The only thing that can make the 2 traits above even more irresistible is putting them so succinctly into an internet handle. Honestly, if your icon were a pot leaf with 2 giant tits I'd cream myself on the spot.

I have the loveliest rack of B(+)(+)BS you'll never get to see.

All it would have taken?

A few tokes of good bud. I just can't be high and fully clothed at the same time.

Sigh

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
02/09/2008 11:39 PM

<action>passes joint</action>
Ummm.. PRAM who?

Pram 80,728 42
02/10/2008 01:22 AM

<action>grabs Sparksinner by the mud flaps and flings her into a fir tree</action>

Pass the buds, brah.

That's What She Said 27,416 24
02/10/2008 01:26 AM

Bud Light, suck one.

Pram 80,728 42
02/10/2008 02:32 AM

Mmmm, twice the carbs. *BELCH*

Tweak: Windows 2000 Edition 18,881 12
02/10/2008 10:12 PM

I posted my full story in the "In Which We Name Our Poops" thread.

Basically, it's about 3am, I'm really drunk, my phone's dead, I've got no money, and I can't find anyone I know. I take a massive dump in a park which is reasonably well lit and quite well traveled, in plain view of a busy road and at least two pedestrians.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/11/2008 01:59 PM

My son was 3 months old. He was sitting on my husbands lap watching Daddy work on the computer. I think I was reading and and having lunch. I looked over to see my adorable baby boy; then noticed something on my husband's shirt pocket. I said what's on your shirt Wayne, lunch? He said I don't know and started to move our son forward.

I saw what had happened and tried to tell him; all the while laughing hysterically. He saw this brownish smear on his shirtpocket and said what is it. I was able to mumble laugh something about leg. He lifted up our son away from his leg just as I said poop leak. He screamed while lifting the baby up high. I started a hooting laugh; then the baby started crying. The poopie diaper had some how leaked from my husband's knee all the way up to his shirt pocket.

Ravos the Radish 63,472 21
02/11/2008 08:24 PM

A bunch of us were outside, and one of their kids who was still young was playing around. He fell on his ass, and poo projectiled out the back of his diaper about 5 feet straight up in the air.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/12/2008 05:09 AM

I am kind of surprised that Chance has not yet posted in this thread, screaming "ONION SLIVER."

JakAus 310 6
02/12/2008 06:45 AM

I would have to say, on my girlfriend.

Chickens is a Cowardly Harpoonist 286,580 61
02/13/2008 12:29 AM

On Jackass's girlfriend.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/13/2008 05:35 AM

I would have to say, on my girlfriend.

Fail. It's not a "strange place" if she likes it.



Right?

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
02/13/2008 05:35 AM

It's still strange, dear.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/13/2008 06:29 AM

Whatever, A2M.

DieLawn 494 6
02/15/2008 01:43 AM

There was a kid that was pissing me off at a party, so I crapped in the bed of his truck.

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/15/2008 10:34 PM

a horrible prank I came up with for a buddy of mine.....If ever you find yourself in the dorm room of some sweet but fairly unattractive or annoying coed, have your fun if that is what is on deck.....in order to leave without fear of a request for a return visit, take a dump in the girls bed and then leave her a note explaining how you would have stayed till morning, but she Shakespeare the bed and you just can't deal with that.

Pubic Name 387 6
02/19/2008 09:22 AM

uncontrollable diarrhea at the beach... not in a stall - onto the sand. In front of my friends. I had to use leaves afterwards. There was some on my leg, and a family member pointed it out. I feigned that it was chocolate and ran into the lake to "wash up"... I think TMI are the words you are looking for.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/19/2008 06:57 PM

Late 80s, at a Grateful Dead show in Buffalo, one or two shows before Jerry had his stroke.

We weren't baked yet.

I had to take a dumpski, so I opened a porta potty. It was full. I mean, it was not only full, it was overflowing, with all manner of bodily fluids and solids coating the floor a good inch. That meant that people had used this facility when the Shakespeare was already all over the floor. And it was hippie Shakespeare, so it reeked like Declan on a hot summer's day.

I headed for the nearest tree line only to discover that the woods were a minefield of hippie grogans. Everyone else had the same idea. I decided to turn it into a morning hike, and when the poo thinned out enough, I grabbed a few handfuls of leaves and dropped trou.

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/21/2008 09:43 PM

In a paper bag, which was then set on a door step and set on fire.

0 to speeding ticket in a very short time 201 7
02/04/2010 07:26 PM

A couple years ago, I was about 12 years old, I went on a 2 week camping trip with my dad in southern France. At about 5 minutes walking from the camping site there was this beautiful little beach, where you barely ever saw a soul.

It was a hot day, and we decided to spend the day relaxing, not visiting stuff in the region for a change. After a couple hours I became quite bored, so I decided to go take a swim in the sea.

I had been swimming for about 15 minutes when I suddenly felt something had to come out. I was a bit too lazy (and wouldn't have made it anyway) to go back to the public restrooms of the camping site. I discreetly looked around me, nobody in sight.

So I dropped my shorts (while still in the sea, about 30 feet from the shore) and pushed out a turd which instantly came floating to the surface. It wasn't really big, about average size, but it was just this one chunk.

I decided to go sit on the beach for a little while, and enjoy the sun. As soon as I was out of the water, some guy holding a baby in his arms shows up. Frost.

The guy slowly walks into the water, while I remain sitting there, trying to look unconspicuous. About thirty seconds later I hear the guy yelling 'Frost! SOMEBODY Frost-ing TOOK A DUMP HERE!' (In French) While trying to make my Shakespeare float away from him. Priceless.

I walked away discreetly, hoping I'd never see the guy again for the remaining time we were at that camping site.

the fun in disfunctional 1,970 6
02/04/2010 11:45 PM

I used to work in a hospital and we admitted a patient so I gave him a urine specimen cup and said "we'll need a specimen when you have to go". I left the room and came back in about an hour. The patient had filled the specimen cup with Shakespeare. I looked at it and was trying to think of something to say without laughing out loud. The guy says to me "you know they could make those cups a little bigger". I went out to the nurse's station and we were rolling on the floor trying to figure out how that guy got all that poop in that little cup. Of course, I drew the short straw and had to go back in and ask him for a urine specimen in the little cup. Fortunately, he thought it was pretty funny too.

Madness 4,366 10
02/05/2010 01:30 AM

Underneath a school's play structure.
It was in the dead of winter too, so it froze to the sandy ground almost instantaneously, making removal near impossible until it thawed.

ZukeTheRed 546 6
02/05/2010 01:47 AM

I shat in a friend's backyard as a kid. We had gotten tired of watching Ernest goes to Jail and decided to go wander around.

I was smooth about it to. I told him to go on ahead, that I'd catch up in a minute. Then I popped a squat and mopped my top, it was a big one. I didn't wipe afterwards, just pulled up my pants and ran over to where he was.

Then to try to cover what was a very obvious ploy, I decided to be devious and say 'Hey, I found a giant turd over there, I don't know how it got there but it is pretty awesome!'

Needless to say, he didn't quite believe me.

Cyco Ivan 11,330 11
02/05/2010 02:41 AM

This is another one of my wife's famous poop stories. You can read the first one here

This took place during my wife's 1st pregnancy. As I've been told, having a little parasite in you really wreaks havoc on your gastrointestinal system. One night while we're sleeping, my wife snaps awake and she's gotta take a crap NOW. She hurries downstairs to the bathroom and gets to the 1st floor and just cannot hold it anymore. It's an unavoidable sitution and I sympathize with her plight but the fact that she couldn't make it to the bathroom isn't why it's funny.

What makes it funny is that instead of going on the hardwood floor and then having some cleaning to do later, she reaches back and ShakespeareS IN HER HAND! That feat is actually pretty impressive, given that she was several months pregnanat at the time. She then carries the load to the bathroom, dumps it, washes up, and goes back to bed. I slept through the whole thing, which is why I cannot fathom why she told me this in the morning. It did cement her position as Pamela, Princess of the Poopy Pants.

Also, she now knows the answer to the old saying "Wish in one hand, Shakespeare in the other, and see which one gets filled first"

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/05/2010 02:45 AM

I love it when old threads pop up - I don't even remember starting this one. I am totally going to razz my sister about Shakespeare-ing in her purse when I see her tonight.

Nerd, Admiral of the MS Painter. 27,000 12
02/05/2010 02:47 AM

I'm going to Shakespeare in your sister's purse.

Ravos: Accidental Ganesh 63,472 21
02/05/2010 02:50 AM

Also, she now knows the answer to the old saying "Wish in one hand, Shakespeare in the other, and see which one gets filled first"

What if you were wishing for a handful of Shakespeare?

Cyco Ivan 11,330 11
02/05/2010 03:05 AM

I guess it would just show up in your Shakespeare hand and not your wish hand.

Ravos: Accidental Ganesh 63,472 21
02/05/2010 03:21 AM

What if, oh, I don't know, you only have 1 hand?

Cmacker 5,303 10
02/05/2010 03:43 AM

Two nights ago I came home and, as much as I tried to avoid it, got trapped in conversation with my 60 year old, crazy alcoholic neighbor. She was sitting on her porch, 16 oz. cheap Mexican beer in hand, going on and on about the neighbors, politics, etc, etc, when I heard a trickling noise and noticed a yellow puddle growing beneath her. She noticed me noticing and said, "Oh, that? Don't worry about it. I just do that sometimes to piss off my husband." And then she immediately went right back to her thoughts on Obama's healthcare bill.

Cyco Ivan 11,330 11
02/05/2010 04:00 AM

What if, oh, I don't know, you only have 1 hand?

Personally, I'd wish for my 2nd hand back, but in that case, the Shakespeare would land where your missing hand would be and probably land on your foot.

A Marinating Sash 1,353 7
02/05/2010 05:29 AM

I pooped in some guy's oven at a party. I turned on the oven before I left.

Alarm Clock 6,348 4
02/05/2010 06:03 AM

When I was around 11 or 12 a friend and I got drunk off of some cheap wine and Shakespeare on the windshield and hood of the neighbor's brand new Mitsubishi 3000GT (was a good car at the time).

I also took a Shakespeare in an apartment hot tub on purpose once when I was younger. Mainly just because it was night, the pool area was vacant, and I thought it would be funny for someone else to have to clean it out.

KChiki - Still not Chi Chi! 128,359 98 sings.
02/05/2010 06:07 AM

"I've left poops in weird places
When the whiskey drowns and the beer chases
My judgement away!
But it feels okay!
I'm not big on social graces.
Guess I'll leave one steaming
Right in your faces, oh
I've left poooooops in straaaaange places!"

WhyMi 3,549 12
02/05/2010 06:18 AM

Poops in odd places

Is this anything like "Plays well with others" or "Runs with scissors"?