Didn't realize this was already done before.

Well, I guess thats why I'm Mexican and not Chinese.

Well, I guess thats why I'm Mexican and not Chinese.




Beans and rice!

A Chinese guy walks into a tavern and sees a black guy tending bar.

"Hey, Ogden Nash, pour me a jigger," he demands.

The bartender, who happens to be very sensitive (he might be gay as well as black) gets very upset. He tells the Chinese guy, "You can't say things like that. You have no idea how badly that made me feel. I want you to stand behind the bar, pretend that you work here, and I'll come in and insult you. Maybe you'll see how it feels and learn that actions have consequences."

So the Chinese guy goes behind the bar and the black guy leaves.

A few minutes later the black guy returns and shouts out, "Hey, Chink, pour me a drink!"

The Chinese guy looks up and replies, "I'm sorry, we don't serve Ogden Nashes in here."

My favorite racist joke? Okay, that's an easy one.




How many racists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Racists hate to be enlightened.

I'm sure many here remember how touchy Al can be about these things.
Now, I don't expect you to go and read that whole thread, new guy. So I'll just go ahead and paraphrase what Al had to say to the people in the other racist joke thread-


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What do you call a little Mexican?

A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.

What do you call a black peg-legged priest?

Holy Shakespeare on a stick!

What's the differenve between a dead dog in the middle of the road, and a dead black guy?

There are swirve marks in front of the dog.

Why is life like a bowl of Jelly beans?


Nobody likes the black ones.




Why do you never put your hand in a bowl of Jelly beans?


The black ones will steal your watch.

What do you call a 250 lb 6'2" black man?


Sir.

How do you know when a Chinese guy's burgled your house?



When you get home you laundry's been done, your PC's been upgraded and the Froster is still trying to reverse out of your driveway.

White people have names like "Lenny," and black people have names like "Carl."

EYES OUT!

WITH STICKS!!

Why does the whiteman always try to own everything and murder everyone else?












They are crap as lovers and have tiny dicks.

What's white and bigger than 8 inches?





Nothing!

Why did so many black people move to Detroit?

Because they heard there were no jobs there.

Why do all black people have nightmares???







Because the last one who had a dream got shot.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?


A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

What do you call a black man flying an airplane?












A pilot, you Frost-ing racist.

What's the differance between a black man and a large pizza?





A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Little Johnny came home from school one day after having to take his first shower with the other little children in fourth grade Gym class. "Daddy I had to shower wit de little white chillen and they penises is so little. Why is my penis so much bigger than the white chillen's? Is it because I am black?" and Little Johnny's father answered " well partially little Johnny but mostly it is because you is 16."

Q: How many racist threads does it take to make the rest of a website look bad?

A: More than zero.

How many people is Pubah going to kill when he reads this thread??



None - he can't afford air fare.

How many people is Pubah going to kill when he reads this thread?




Zero; he'll just wait for Darwinism to take over.

I beg to differ. Trix, back me up.

Not that he knows from personal experience or anything.

Oh, also, A dumb Ogden Nash walks into a bar. The enlightened white man walked around it.

So there are 4 people standing by a bridge. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American. They all want to throw something off the bridge that they have a lot of in their country. The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi. "There is a lot of sushi in my country." Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom. "There is too much love in my country." Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. "There are a lot of tacos in my country." Next is the American. He looks around. He picks up the Mexican guy and throws him off the bridge. "There are a lot of Mexicans in my country."

Q: Why are aspirins white?

A: Because they work.

<action>ZUG...Fair and Balanced</action>

Skin thickening cream is very effective...

...I'll rub it on some of your dead corpesesses and use your pelts to keep me warm...

Except Trae...I'll keep her hot ass body around for other things

Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco. "There are a lot of tacos in my country."

Frost. You.

How come they put the black olives into a can?

Here's one I heard from a very old man:

Back in the early '30s there were a lot of traveling salesmen. One day I ran across a crowd of people on the street surrounding a big truck. There was a guy hawking a machine that cleaned up Ogden Nashes. He had a few locked up on the side of the truck and tossed one in now and then.

"It's easy and fast, just stick him in here and the system does the rest. Your town will be free of Ogden Nashes in no time."

People were interested and the guy kept talking. Suddenly he reached out, yanked over a Mexican that was walking by and tossed him into the machine. Everyone was shocked and one guy asked, "why the hell did you toss that Mexican in there?"

Without missing a beat guy said, "It's a machine, you gotta grease it now and then."



Awful. I feel dirty having repeated that.

Thank you Pubah. You know I mean nothing of what I say. Well, except THOSE things but we'll keep those private, mmmmmkay?

Instead of posting any racist jokes here I will just suggest searching for any of my posts.

But I will quote a joke from a comic I enjoy....

"What's an easy way to start a conversation...What's your favorite color?"

"What's an easy way to end a conversation...What's your favorite color...person?"

-Demetri Martin

*reminisce of old lunch-table exchange of jokes*

What's long black and smelly?

the unemployment line
-----
What do you call three black men leaning up against a barn in the south?

Antique farm tools
-----
How was the grand canyon formed?

Two Jews dropped a quarter down a gopher hole
-----
How come a black guy and a Mexican don't have children?

Because they'd be too lazy to steal



I'm terribly sorry.

<action>Hugs Trae</action>

I was kidding about killing everybody...

...I ment what I said about your hot assed body.

A polish guy is at the drive-in with his girlfriend. She asks him, "Do you want to get in the back seat?" He replies, "No way! I want to stay up here with you."

A polish guy goes into a public washroom and sees a sign above the crapper that says "Toilet Paper Only" so he Shakespeares on the floor.

Here's some childish racist jokes from my youth:

How do you drown a n****r?
Pop his lips.

What do you call 2 ethiopians in a sleeping bag?
Twix.

STOP BUMPING THIS STUPID Frost-ing THREAD YOU Frost-ing IDIOTS!

I'm prejudice against stupid people.

What happened when the Ethiopian fell into the alligator pit?

She ate two of them before the rest could get the hell out of there.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 raped 6's mother.

And no 7 was not black, he was Native American.

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a shower?




I don't know they keep slipping down the drain.






How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?




All of them.



When is it time to slap a midget?






When he says gee your hair smells terrific.




When is it time to slap a male midget if you're a guy?






When he says gee your hair smells terrific from behind you.







COLD WINTER!
The Blackfeet asked their Chief in autumn, if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.
Being a good leader, he then went to the nearest phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite cold indeed."
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man replied, "its going to be a very cold winter."
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again and asks "Are you absolutely sure, that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely" the man replies, "the Blackfeet are collecting wood like crazy!

THE BRONZE RAT
A Cheyenne guy went to Chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat at a thrift store. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked. "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. "Just give me the rat," the Cheyenne said, and then he left with it. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. As he walked further, more and more rats started chasing him. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him. So he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water.
The Cheyenne then returned to the thrift store. "Ahh" the china man said. "Now you would like to hear the story?"
"No" said the Cheyenne, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"


MONTANA DEPARTMENT OF FISH AND GAME ADVISORY ON BEARS

Helena Montana, January 31, 1999 - In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field. "We advise that outdoorsmen should wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them," a spokesman said. "We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear".
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear paw prints and scat.
A grizzly's paw is larger and its claws are longer than that of a black bear. Black bear scat contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

Anglos have BC and AD to measure time. Native People only have the four BC's

Before Columbus
Before Custer
Before Commodity....
Before Costner!!

why do black people lean to so far to the right when they are driving in their car?


they think the smell is coming from the outside.

the definition of confusion?

father's day in harlem

how do you kill 20 flies at once?

hit an Ethiopian in the face with a shovel.

What's better than a dead black man?

Eliminating 50-60% of the global population, compressing and fossilizing their matter to form building materials, putting in strict population control procedures and putting control of the planet in the hands of people with a global world-view. Then trimming off another 5% to allow the illusion of population growth in the future.

I'm a human racist.

why do mexicans drive low riders?

so they can still pick lettuce while they drive.

I got a joke:

why do white people smell like bologna?

seriously they do. no joke.

i was always told by my black friends that we smell like dogs. (seriously)

How do you stop five black guys from raping a white chick?

Throw them a basketball.


OHGOD PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

One bright, summer day a salesman approaches the owner of a golf course.

Salesman: "Hello sir! I believe I can be of great service to you."

Owner: "Oh?"

Salesman: "Yes indeed! I know it must be quite a job finding the right people to maintain this golf course, and with all the land here, it must cost a fortune for you to pay all your workers and keep the grounds well-kept."

Owner: "Why yes, as a matter of fact, you're right. What can you do?"

Salesman: "For the low low price of $500, I can offer you the very best in golf course maintenance: Ten shiny new robots designed to do all of the maintenance work on your golf course."

The salesman was paid his money and the exchange was made. Two weeks later, the salesman came back to check up with the owner.

Salesman: "Why hello there sir, how are my fantastic robots working for you?"

Owner: "Well I must admit they do outstanding work. But one of the biggest complaints I hear from the players here is that the sun seems to be reflecting off of the robots. They find it very distracting."

Salesman: "Well if that's the case we can simply paint them black!"

The robots were painted black and left to their work. Another two weeks went by, and the salesman returned.

Salesman: "And how are my robots working for you now?"

Owner: "Terrible. Since the last time I saw you, 8 of the robots haven't showed up to work, and the other two robbed the 7-11 downtown."

What happened to the Chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?
He smashed his his nose.

What's the worst thing about being a black jew?






















Having to sit in the back of the oven.

I absolutely refuse to tell jokes that play upon the stereotypes of African-Americans.













I will, however, set them up:

What has ten legs and says "Ho dee doh! Ho dee doh!"

What has ten legs and says, "HO DEE DOE! HO DEE DOE!"

Five black guys running for the elevator




What's the most positive thing about Harlem?

HIV

Please let this thread die.

Q What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

A. Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

Q: Why does Beyonce sing "To the left to the left"?
A: Because blacks dont have rights.

An Indian chief and his son are standing in a field when the chief gets on his hands and knees and lowers his ear to the ground.
Chief: Buffalo come
Son: Can you hear them?
Chief: No, ground sticky.

Q: What do you call one black guy on the moon?
A: Problem

Q: What do you call 25 plack people on the moon?
A: A bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all black people on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

how do you kill a black guy?

hang his head out of a car going 60 miles per hour and let his lips beat him to death.

Why are black people tall?

Their knee-grows!

How do you know when an Ethiopian is pregnant?

When you pull the tampon out, its half eaten.

What do you have when 2 Chinese guys a Mexican and 3 black guys are standing in your yard?

A Sprinkler

Chink Chink Spick Nigga nigga nigga


None are safe!

how do you fit 500 jews in a car?

2 in the front

3 in the back

495 in the ashtray!

how come jews smell bad?

so blind people can hate them to!

What's long and hard on an 18 year old black man?


The eigth grade.

Q: Why is there white chocolate?

A: So black kids can get their faces dirty too.

reaperman86

Imposter!

Q: How do you gather a large amount of retarded people in one place?

A: Start a racist jokes thread on Gab and let them post in it.

A black man and his friend who just happens to be a Mexican, are sitting on the top of a steel girder eating lunch.

The Mexican says to his friend, "Damn it if she makes me tacos again I'm going to jump off this building". The black guy looking at his lunch replies, "Peanut butter and jelly again, me too".

The next day at lunch the mexican guy looks in his lunch bag and say's, "Taco's again, Frost it", and jumps. The black guy looks at his and say's, "Pb&j", and he jumps.

At the funeral days later, the mexican's wife say's to the black guys wife, "I don't understand. Why didn't he just tell me not to make him taco's?" The black guys wife say to her "I don't understand either. He makes his own lunch."

Black people are great.

Every family should own one.

I don't have a racist joke better than TTJ's, so I'm going to use this thread for a nice clean joke (which also happens to have been Kurt Vonnegut's favorite joke).

Every day a man would walk across the border with a wheelbarrow full of unusual items. He always acted suspicious, so the customs agents knew he was smuggling something.

But each time he passed, no matter how hard they searched, they could find nothing illegal. No drugs, no weapons, duties on every item paid in full.

This went on for years.

Finally, when one of the agents was about to retire, he took the man aside. "It's my last day," he said, "I'm not going to turn you in. But I'm curious . . . tell me what you've been smuggling all this time."

"My friend, I'm smuggling wheelbarrows."

what do you say when you wake up and see your tv floating in mid air?

"drop it **n-bomb**!!!!"

A Priest a Nun and a Rabbi all walk into a bar. The priest orders a Water, the Nun orders a Diet Soda and the Rabbi orders a Milk.





Ogden Nash.

BUMP!

i did it for chance...the Carroll!

How many pollacks does it take to change a lightbulb? No, wait, how do you get two pollacks to change a lightbulb?

Four, because they're so darn stupid!

There where to twos walking past a building where they're friend worked and saw police cars. They run up worried about there friend and see a dead body. Someone had fallen off the roof. The first Jew asks a Police man if its their friend. So the nice police man asks if their friend had any distinquishing marks. The second Jews then says "He has to Emersons" The police man gives him a strange look but the first Jew understands and says. "Yea every time we went to the bar with him the bartender always said, Hey look its that nigga and his to Emersons"

Was he a nigga or a Jew. C'mon, get your story straight.

Frost-ing damn dirty twos.

Q: What do you call one white guy with two black guys?
A: Victim

Q: What do you call one white guy with five black guys?
A: Coach

Q: What do you call one white guy with twenty black guys?
A: Boss

Q: What do you call one white guy with 1,000 black guys?
A: Warden

Q: What do you call one white guy with 10,000 black guys?
A: Post Master General

What's the difference between an American girl and an arab girl?
American girls get stoned before they commit adultery.

- A duck walks in a hardware store, goes up to the counter, and asks the man, "Got any Tweets" (Meaning Treats)

-And the guy says, "umm no, this is a hardware store we dont carry anything like that, PetSmart is right down the street tho..."

so the duck waddles out..
-Next day the duck goes back to the same hardware store, waddles back to the counter and asks "Got any Tweets"

-"Man i just told you yesterday this is a Freakin hardware store, we dont carry "Tweets" come in here again and i'll nail your beak to the wall!"

so the duck leaves
-Third day the duck paces back in the hardware store, marches up to the counter, and asks "Got any Nails"

-"No..."

-"Got any Tweets!! =) "

Was that duck a wop?

Dear God. This thread wasn't necessary the first time around. Let it DIE already.

Wow. I post a slam a few days ago referring to Muslims as towel heads, and I get an email from Hargrave about how I am offending people and that many people have complained about my usage of said racial slur, and if I do it again, I will get banned. Yet, here a similar thread is still hanging around, and people still get orbs from it

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(ascii art poached from TTJ.)

Yeah, but nobody likes you.

You must be a minority, right?

Pickle Sniffer- We do not condone this thread or the idiots whom have posted in it. Matter of factly, it discust me that people are STILL contributing to the thread. That being said, I wont be posting in this thread again and if you decide to still post here shame on you! SHAME SHAME I KNOW YOUR NAME!

Yeah, don't discust Chance.

Shakespeare. WHATEVER! DISGUST! DISGUST!

Also, I lied. This is my last post.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Or something like that.