SHP... Fool me once, fuck you! 181,795 70
02/14/2008 12:06 AM

http://www.ironicsans.com/2008/02/idea_scientist_valentines.html

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/14/2008 12:15 AM

E=show me your tits

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
02/14/2008 12:17 AM

Caution: A scientific study* has determined that two out of three pregnancies began on Valentine's Day.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
02/14/2008 12:23 AM

*Your definition of scientific may vary.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/14/2008 12:27 AM

I bought a box of valentines the other day and hid some around the house for teh Haggis to find. My absolute favorite has Optimus Prime on it.

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, Valentine."

Isn't that just the most romantic thing you've ever heard?

BillSalamie 67,057 13
02/14/2008 12:28 AM

I'd just like to point out that Roger Clemens is getting his ass kicked.

DemoMonkey is neither 5 years old, nor a girl. 166,252 10
02/14/2008 02:07 AM

"Once my body is in motion, it tends to remain in motion. Want to see?"

Phuc 237,919 21
02/14/2008 03:58 AM

Marie Curie: "I'm Burnin' I'm Burnin' I'm Burnin' for You!"

KChiki needs a new witty tagline. 128,359 98
02/14/2008 04:04 AM

"My love is like a Super-Massive Black Hole waiting to swallow you up!"

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
02/14/2008 04:11 AM

Considering there is a tendency for all matter and energy in the universe to evolve toward a state of inert uniformity, I guess your breasts don't look that weird.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/14/2008 04:16 AM

"My love will rock you like a hurricane" - Herbert Saffir

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/14/2008 04:47 AM

An old chestnut:

"Tell me why the stars do shine,
Tell me why the vine does twine,
Tell me why the sky is blue,
And I'll tell you why I love you.

Hydrogen fusion makes the stars shine,
Auxin diffusion makes the vine twine,
Particle diffraction makes the sky blue,
And hormonal action makes me love you."

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/14/2008 04:49 AM

But my favorite is "Sex me up good, baby, or I'll dust you with copper sulfate and hose you down."

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/14/2008 05:05 AM

<action>swoons</action>

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/14/2008 09:17 PM

"My love will rock you like a hurricane" - Herbert Saffir

See, it's funny because he was the developer of the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale! It's hilarious and wacky and smart all at the same time! See???!!??

Screw you.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/14/2008 09:36 PM

Fratberry, you ol' romantic fool, you.

I Dream of Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/14/2008 09:42 PM

I will turn to xkcd, who expresses things neither language or maths alone can express.

This, this, or this is all good stuff, but my very favourite is this one.




Sigh. So romantic.

Chickens is a Cowardly Harpoonist 286,580 61
02/14/2008 09:46 PM

I'll roll the dice on a chance at you, Valentine.

Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
02/14/2008 09:49 PM

See, it's funny because he was the developer of the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale! It's hilarious and wacky and smart all at the same time! See???!!??


If you have to explain the joke, your spouse/partner/chosen Valentine's Victim isn't nerdy enough.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/14/2008 10:01 PM

Are you saying I'm too nerdy for GAB. Oh dear Lord.

Nachos - Misanthropy = good, Sociopathy = bad. 57,521 23
02/14/2008 10:05 PM

No, she's saying that she Googled Herbert Saffir before making her post.

Chickens is a Cowardly Harpoonist 286,580 61
02/14/2008 10:07 PM

Get it? Roll the dice? John Nash? Famous game theory mathmatician? Invented theory of diversification? Sucked a lot of dick? Schizzo?

Shell Belle 77,143 25
02/14/2008 10:23 PM

This is my favorite:



Roses reflect a light frequency at one end of the visible
electromagnetic spectrum,

Violets reflect a light frequency at the other end of the visible
electromagnetic spectrum,

Sugar is C12H22O11,

And you release the endorphins in my brain

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/14/2008 10:26 PM

the internet is a series of boobs.

Tree Sap 57 6
02/15/2008 10:05 AM

This Valentine's day...

...will you be my derivative and lie tangent to all my curves?

...what do you say me and you get together and cause a Big Bang?

MiracleWh1p 98 5
02/15/2008 12:34 PM

Not so much science as it is nerdy, I made my girlfriend a valentine shaped like a bomb, specifically like the one from counter-strike, filled with chocolate. We're all nerds at heart.

MiracleWh1p 98 5
02/15/2008 12:36 PM

Stupid me

The greeting read:
"Prepare for a chocolatly explosion of love" which I tried to recite in that TV commercial voice actor kind of tone.

Xzelian 114 5
02/15/2008 01:59 PM

Oh dearest Valentine, May I hammer your cat in the box?

Cap'n Morgan 472 6
02/15/2008 05:40 PM

My love for thee is as infinite as the Universe, strong as the pull of gravity, and when we come together, the power of our union is a champagne supernova.

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/15/2008 08:33 PM

1-Cut a hole in the box.
2-Put your junk in that box
3-Make her open the box.

And thats the way we do it.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/15/2008 08:56 PM

The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
02/15/2008 09:02 PM

For Valentine's Day, my sweetie took me out to eat at Denny's. (I got the chicken fried steak.) Then we went to Wal-mart, where he bought me a jug of antifreeze and a couple of boxes of red hair dye.

I also received a scratch-off lotto ticket, and I won $25!

My man is the most romantic EVAR.

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/15/2008 10:30 PM

I made these two last year.

Gamer Card

and

VD CARD

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/16/2008 12:17 AM

Whats the most you ever lost on a coin toss?

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/16/2008 12:18 AM

My virginity.

dangerousbeans 1,172 6
02/16/2008 03:56 AM

If you'll be my valentine I'll put my test tube on your rack.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
02/16/2008 04:08 AM

"Baby, I'm not certain where you are, but once I find out, I know exactly how fast I'll be running to your arms. Actually, I won't know, because I can't know both at the same time... but you get the general idea!"
-Heisenberg

Cap'n Morgan 472 6
02/16/2008 09:24 AM

Nothin' says lovin' like shovin' my meat in your oven!

JakAus 310 6
02/16/2008 11:19 PM

Want to have sex?

Abbyssion 70 5
02/18/2008 12:21 AM

Physics is like sex, sure it gives some practical results, but thats not why we do it.
-Feynman

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
02/18/2008 03:40 AM

If I were an enyme I would be DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes