Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 03:42 AM

This Shakespearety comedy challenge.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 03:45 AM

Hahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaahhahahahah


gasp



hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha


Go away.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:48 AM

oh thanks, real nice...

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 03:48 AM

Didn't you know? We're a friendly lot!

Really sad Panda 181,795 70
02/23/2008 03:50 AM

I call fat daughter.
And your sister's a fat bitch too.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:50 AM

oh really? telling a new member, to instantly go away? yeah great lot!

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 03:51 AM

Right said, Fred!

Errrr....Jay. Or whatever your name is.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 03:51 AM

That has to be the most disturbing thing I've read all day (which is really difficult to achieve considering my addiction to www.literotica.com)! I can't believe you just let them eat your Shakespeare. Do you hate your family?! Did anyone vomit? What does Shakespearety vomit smell like? Inquiring minds want to know!

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:51 AM

yes my name is Jay, but do you try chasing off all your new members?

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 03:52 AM

Actually, I think we do. The unfunny ones, anyway.

Really sad Panda 181,795 70
02/23/2008 03:52 AM

Um..yes.

Miss, Throw me sumtin Mr. Trixxie 65,026 15
02/23/2008 03:52 AM

Gablanta IV

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:53 AM

and they all said they had enjoyed the meal greatly, but all thanks went to my sister, not me, with my secret ingredient! No, 6 years ago I was a wimpy little dweeb, though it was painful to sit through and watch

Straw 98,019 37
02/23/2008 03:53 AM

Werehampsta chased off his old member.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 03:53 AM

Yeah. Even though I've been a member since 2004, I'm still getting called a n00b by stupid Frosters who are NOT funny that I have seniority over. Frost you, Haters.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:54 AM

yeah thanks, one post! right whatever, i enjoyed zug until now, I thought it had a slightly nicer community though

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 03:54 AM

Shoulda lurked first to discover the horrifying truth.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 03:55 AM

Try HoB.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/23/2008 03:55 AM

but do you try chasing off all your new members?

Well, clearly someone lurked a lot.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:55 AM

why not, instead of chasing off members who need a bit of help in the comedy department, help them in the comedy department, say where they went wrong!

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 03:57 AM

Good point, however most of the people here feel better by putting others down (because they can't get over the incredibly tiny size of their own members).

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 03:58 AM

right, guys seriously, be cool, don't try being bigger than others just by insulting them!

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 03:59 AM

Dear Jay,

This may help you.

You are welcome, dear. See? We're not all mean.

Sincerely,
me

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 04:00 AM

bastard

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 04:00 AM

Hey Erykahbadu-

Has Received
25
120
36
39
57

All-Time Funniest: 456

And you've been posting since 2004?

N00b.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/23/2008 04:01 AM

why not, instead of chasing off members who need a bit of help in the comedy department, help them in the comedy department, say where they went wrong!

Okay, a bit of advice then:

Lurk. Read a lot, try posting and bringing teh funny in a couple of ongoing threads. Don't whine about a few people being sarcastic to you. It could be worse. You haven't even been linked to tubgirl yet!

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 04:02 AM

www.tubgirl.com


DAMN YOU BRODY!!!

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/23/2008 04:02 AM

I hate being the slowest typer.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 04:02 AM

Wow...you now have to PAY to see tubgirl?


The Armageddon is upon us.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 04:03 AM

You haven't even been linked to tubgirl yet!

Only because I couldn't find it quickly. I knew I should have saved it to my favorites!

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 04:03 AM

ok, I'm not clicking any links like that anymore, I learnt my lesson on jo grrrrrl

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/23/2008 04:03 AM

CG, you clicked your own tubgirl link?

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:03 AM

Yeah. I'll let you in on something that may help you win these guys over. There's a thing you should know: Everyone here is addicted to the hilarity of a specific comedy website that they use to make some laughs. Take a look at this site. Gather what information you can, and try to put a spin on it. Let me know if it helps.

Sincerely,
Milky Jugs Bongheat

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 04:04 AM

n00b.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 04:04 AM

yeah thanks meaty, thats a link to tubgirl to, I'm not totally stupid!

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:05 AM

Genius takes time, and I, however was not quick enough with the funny. Apparently these guys type like they Frost.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
02/23/2008 04:05 AM

Capitalisation and punctuation will help. The shift key is your friend.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 04:06 AM

not totally stupid

Yeah, you are quick for 15.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 04:08 AM

Capitalisation

Must...resist...urge...to...correct...

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:10 AM

Yeah, you are quick for 15

Says the girl who gives circumcisions as Hanukah gifts.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:12 AM

Dick Snipper.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 04:12 AM

I don't get your put down. It doesn't make any sense. Please to be explaining.
Thankyouverymuch.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/23/2008 04:13 AM

What does that have to do with Hannukah? I'm as confused as a jew in mass now.

Jay master of cheese 99 6
02/23/2008 04:14 AM

asking for an explanation for the real side of an insult? lame!

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 04:16 AM

Hey CSME,

Send me a pic of your tits, and I'll be on your side!!

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:17 AM

HA! HA! Yeah. One Jew down, 8 million to go. Who ever said this Holocaust thing wasn't fun?!

Straw 98,019 37
02/23/2008 04:30 AM

One Jew down

Uh...considering that your insult was stupid, I'd say you are the one who is downs syndrome.

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
02/23/2008 04:31 AM

READING THIS THREAD LOLOLOL

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/23/2008 04:32 AM

Hey now no Jew jokes, they control the money...piss them off and we'll really be headed for a recession

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 04:58 AM

True dat. True dat. We won't be hatin' no Iraelites around here. Naw suh. Naw suh. Sorry suh. MJB don't want no whip again. Plea, suh. No whip today.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 05:01 AM

I am definitely NOT a fan of immature drama, however mature drama is gladly accepted. I'm always looking for new friends and crazy adventures. I've been told I'm outgoing and somewhat eccentric, but I just attribute that to the ADHD. HAHA...seriously. I've also been told I have a pretty good singing voice. Singing is one of my greatest passions. I'm really just looking for great times and good people. There is no tolerance here for negativity, racism, anti-socialism, and lying, so leave your bullShakespeare at the door, please. Peace

Wow...who wrote that?

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 05:05 AM

Let's all spoil the fun by having a disclaimer! Attention GABbers: I am not really racist. I do not tolerate ligitimate racial slurs from my friends, co-workers, or family members. Please excuse my previous posts whereas I had not properly explained myself. Actually I didn't think I had to considering this is a comedy site and I was just joking. Please submit all personal background info before wittingly responding to explicit threads.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
02/23/2008 05:10 AM

So, in other words, you're just a Carroll.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/23/2008 05:19 AM

why not, instead of chasing off members who need a bit of help in the comedy department, help them in the comedy department, say where they went wrong!

I'm not a grammar or spelling Nazi, but when you post something that's extremely difficult to read and almost impossible to understand, you are going to receive an orange flash pot full of Shakespeare.

The first half of your second paragraph is a long, run-on sentence in which you appear to repeat the same statement twice, without explaining what the orange stuff is.

Education is a good thing. Why not go get yourself some of it?

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 05:43 AM

So, in other words, you're just not intelligent enough to come back with something better than that?

Pram 80,728 42
02/23/2008 05:46 AM

The Tyra Banks Show.

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/23/2008 05:52 AM

A BJ from a chick with braces

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
02/23/2008 06:22 AM

Dear Eryka:

1. If you stuck with one user name, or recognizable variations of a single user name, people would be less likely to mistake you for a noob.

2. When you post infrequently and often disappear for months at a time, new people come in while you're out and become regular contributors without knowing you ever existed. This is neither their fault nor their problem.

3. There is no such thing as GAB seniority. Some people have done service for the community, brought the funny, or showed their naughty bits. Those people are the regulars. You haven't been a regular bringer of the funny, a financial backer, admin or other helper, and I don't recall seeing your tits. So if Cinderblock wants to call you a noob, she can.

4. If this other noob had lurked for five minutes, he would know that we don't approve of noobs starting threads requesting that we make with the funny.

5. So SMYT (e-mail in profile) or STFU.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 06:29 AM

I'm not supposed to send pics of myself naked anymore because of some stupid law or something that I didn't know exsisted. Anyfart, maybe if you're lucky and I'm still around in a couple of years, that will change. I think it's a couple years, I have to check with my P.O.. Until then, be satisfied with using your imagination. 36D.

party trick: I can pee standing up 18,570 33
02/23/2008 06:40 AM

yeah thanks, one post! right whatever, i enjoyed zug until now, I thought it had a slightly nicer community though

Dear n00b:
As one n00b to another, I would like to advise you that you use all those years of grammar lessons, from your fine American public schools, when posting on this site. I speak from personal experience that the senior GABbers, who may seem brutal to you, are acually giving you constructive criticism in their own way, and using proper grammar will keep the insults at bay. Maybe. Also I would like to point out that if nobody knows you, don't post a new thread until you have built up some rapport with the seniority byposting in other threads and getting funniness orbs. It'll help you a bunch.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
02/23/2008 07:59 AM

"The worst thing you've ever lived through"

the whole miracles/superturkey episode....

or was it Nathyn... Or Mgross?

Obese 3,430 7
02/23/2008 08:03 AM

My birth.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 08:16 AM

Let's see. The worst thing I've ever lived through? That would have to be last year.
My husband started cheating on me. He said it was because I went to the bar too much. I said, "What can I say? I love karaoke."
I stopped going to the bar. He didn't stop cheating. The worst part was, the girl was twice my size. I wouldn't say I was fat, but I am a healthy girl. It was kind of a blow to the ego as well as a heart-heavy pain. I became friends with a girl named Angela who lived in my apartment building. After spending every spare moment together for two months, she tells me she's in love with me.

The affair ensues.

She had just broken up with a guy that I went to high school with named Shane. He and I were good aquaintances, I wouldn't exactly say we were "friends" though. Anyway, she broke up with him but he didn't have anywhere to go, so he continued to live there. Angela and I had to not only hide our little relationship from my husband, but also from her ex-boyfriend who still lived with her.
Then I got my husband to join in the sessions I had with Angela. At first the whole thing was exciting...then Angela cut us both off.
To make a long story short, Angela kicked Shane out. My husband left me. I moved in with Angela as just a friend. I fall madly in love with Shane (the ex-boyfriend), and Angela kicks me out. I move into the basement of my new boyfriend's parents' house, and that's where I currently reside.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
02/23/2008 08:22 AM

I wouldn't say I was fat, but I am a healthy girl.

Cmacker 5,303 10
02/23/2008 08:24 AM

I saw you on Jerry Springer.

You're a little fatter than you let on.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 08:31 AM

Ha Ha, guys. You can't hurt my feelings that easy. I know who I am, and my self-esteem is fairly sufficient.

However, I did actually consider taking it to Springer. I'm sorry, but I love that Frostin' show. I watch it every morning while I'm on my suspension from Pizza Hut. I find Springer so hilarious. If I don't make it as an actual guest on the show, I would at least buy tickets for all my ho's to enjoy. What can I say? I take care of my bitches!

party trick: I can pee standing up 18,570 33
02/23/2008 08:41 AM

Cancer. In my uterus. I've been in remission for a year now, but my uterus is practically useless.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/23/2008 08:46 AM

So, in other words, you're just not intelligent enough to come back with something better than that?

I never claimed to be intelligent, but I own my own car and I can dress myself.

party trick: I can pee standing up 18,570 33
02/23/2008 08:46 AM

I don't know which was worse, the realization that i have a 2% chance of having children or the radiation therapy, which by the way fees like an inside out sunburn. I couldn't walk after each treatment.

Milky Jugs Bongheat 1,156 9
02/23/2008 08:48 AM

WTF, mate?

Bean 8,602 19
02/23/2008 08:53 AM

Who the hell goes camping and makes butternut squash soup?

party trick: I can pee standing up 18,570 33
02/23/2008 09:04 AM

He said the worst. That was my worst.

Pram 80,728 42
02/23/2008 11:41 AM

GAB initiation.

MadWorldsOdd 1,728 6
02/23/2008 11:49 AM

anything that causes anal leakage

Pubah 56,813 18
02/23/2008 04:53 PM

<action>Resists the urge to yell "FAT DAUGHTER"</action>

Reading Erykah's "Confessions" post


36D, can't stay out of bars, sexually liberated and loves Karaoke! If she had her own crib, Pubah might be interested.

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/23/2008 11:29 PM

Apparently these guys type like they Frost.

Yea, takes us about 5 seconds. Good call, good call.

You've been watching me haven't you?

Anh is here on the regular. 11,158 14
02/24/2008 12:13 AM

I just realized right now, while looking at the mirror, that I have a lesbian's haircut.

EvelKnievel 947 6
02/24/2008 01:11 AM

Putting a duce in butternut soup on a camping trip would be an improvement!

WTF ever happened to bringing only the necessities: beans, whiskey, and marshmallows? If it was good enough for Lewis and Clark then its enough for anyone!

If a butternut squash is to be brought into a camp it should only be used to haze someone into "Buttering Their Nuts" or to hump.

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/24/2008 05:38 AM

WTF ever happened to bringing only the necessities: beans, whiskey, and marshmallows?

You forgot beer & steak. HOW COULD YOU FORGET BEER AND STEAK!?

Pram 80,728 42
02/24/2008 07:08 AM

anything that causes anal leakage

Just wait till your GAB initiation! You haven't even been Hammered or Phuced yet!

(I say that with love for them both)

Ima 2,940 6
02/25/2008 05:48 AM

Amen, brother Pram. Theese kids have no idea how easy they are getting it since some genuis realized running off new people was not good for the pay check.

6 Odd Foot Of Humphrey 51,764 12
02/25/2008 06:39 AM

It's the queen of the bitter n0Obs. Long live the Queen.


Wait... I don't really mean that.

Priestess uses Dax Wave and Groom hair dress 58,948 29
02/25/2008 06:50 AM

This thread

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
02/25/2008 08:32 AM

I do not tolerate ligitimate racial slurs from my friends, co-workers, or family members.

Legitimate racial slurs? But it's ok if you do it, right?

1. "Says the girl who gives circumcisions as Hanukah gifts."
2. "Dick Snipper"
3. "One Jew down, 8 million to go."
4. "Who ever said this Holocaust thing wasn't fun?!"
5. "We won't be hatin' no Iraelites around here. Naw suh. Naw suh. Sorry suh. MJB don't want no whip again. Plea, suh. No whip today."
6. "I watch it every morning while I'm on my suspension from Pizza Hut."

That last one doesn't fit in with the rest of your liable, but I think it is hilarious and wanted to point my finger and laugh at you. I really think you are posting in the wrong forum. I hear Yahoo has some great chat rooms and message boards.

I'm sure they even have some that specialize in unemployed, uneducated, bisexual, bigoted, Springer fans.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/25/2008 08:42 AM

Eric Mann's farts.

Thud 68,506 19
02/25/2008 08:54 AM

My first marriage.

</obligatory>

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
02/25/2008 09:18 PM

Simple plan songs.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/25/2008 09:48 PM

E.T.

That movie Frost-ing blew massive brown chunks.

Pubic Name 387 6
02/26/2008 12:27 AM

I cant stand it when peeple correct other peeples grammer and have all, sorts or grammer errors in their posts?

oh, and people who complain.

Ima 2,940 6
02/26/2008 01:20 AM

Long live the Queen

Why thank you. FYI...if I had things to be bitter about right now it sure wouldn't be this website.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
02/26/2008 01:55 AM

i need to start making up stories too, i don't have any articles.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
02/26/2008 01:58 AM

I'd have to say the Eighties.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
02/26/2008 03:53 AM

The Passion of the Christ. I only came twice!

<Best snuff film ever>