The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
03/12/2008 05:26 AM

I hope you someone stabs you repeatedly with a school bus.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
03/12/2008 05:30 AM

... or that you choke on that superfluous "you."

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/12/2008 05:42 AM

Congratulating Sage and Ima on getting married is like congratulating a pedophile on getting a teaching job at kindergarten.

Thud 68,506 19
03/12/2008 05:47 AM

Congrats to the happy couple.

Jep - Now One of Those Annoying ex-Smoker People 58,758 13
03/12/2008 06:42 AM

When I picture this wedding in my mind, the bride walks down the aisle to the tune of "Tubular Bells" from the Excorcist.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/12/2008 06:47 AM

Did they meet on GAB?

Because if they did meet on GAB, I'm gonna take my odeon coil for a visit to the server.

Priestess uses Dax Wave and Groom hair dress 58,948 29
03/12/2008 07:42 AM

Did they really marry? I thought it was a prank.

Thud 68,506 19
03/12/2008 07:46 AM

If I remember correctly Straw was going. Maybe she can confirm or deny for us.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/12/2008 08:44 AM

And if she doesn't post pictures for us to mercilessly ridicule admire, she's banned.

Tweak 18,881 12
03/12/2008 09:45 AM

My brother got married on the same day and I'm happy to say that Sage and Ima didn't enter my thoughts at all. Of course, due to the time difference I was unconscious on the couch by the time the creeple wedding started.

It's a rare feeling, vomiting all over a brand new $500 suit.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/12/2008 10:22 AM

All the Shakespeare I've given them aside, I do hope they had a good wedding and they are happy together.

Ima 2,940 6
03/12/2008 10:24 AM

Thank You Cinder! Yes there are pictures coming to be unmercifully picked apart. Do remember they include Straw!

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/12/2008 10:24 AM

I'm telling Straw you told us to make fun of her.

Jep - Now One of Those Annoying ex-Smoker People 58,758 13
03/12/2008 10:36 AM

This is the church....And this is the steaple,
Slash the wheelchair's tires....And laugh at the creeple.

Humphrey 51,764 12
03/12/2008 12:49 PM

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Pushed him away in Sage's wheelchair.






Am I doing this right?

O'Straw 98,019 37
03/12/2008 04:59 PM

The whole thing went off without a hitch.

Not counting the time the streamer got caught in Sage's wheelchair.

Which wouldn't have been a problem except that for some reason the streamer refused to become dislodged from the pew. Who would have thought mere paper would be strong enough to pull the whole thing over?

The domino effect of pews being knocked down was kind of cool.

Until the last pew knocked over the unity candle.

Oh man, did you know priest robes are made of polyester? Usually when you say a preacher is on fire, you don't mean literally!

But I'm sure Ima's father will be fine. He was still feisty enough to demand some cake on his way to the hospital.

Anyway, this all happened during the recessional, so the important thing is that Sage and Ima are married.

And that all photo ops happened before the fire damage.

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
03/12/2008 08:12 PM

Was there a shotgun present?

Phuc 237,919 21
03/12/2008 10:02 PM

I really don't wish them well and at least I have the all-American guts to admit it.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/12/2008 10:03 PM

I wish them all the best as well. As long as they don't procreate and don't post honeymoon suite vids.

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/12/2008 10:03 PM

Was there a shotgun present?

If there is a God then yes, in the mouth of the bride and/or groom.

Vomus 415 6
03/12/2008 10:04 PM

Apparently they made the news.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/12/2008 10:16 PM

That 49 year old looks like 70. Ew.

The Rev. Big Irish Guy, Jr. 203,956 21
03/13/2008 03:28 AM

I'm with Al on this one.

Frost you both I hope you die.

Ima 2,940 6
03/13/2008 04:38 AM

Al and Big don't like us? Hmmmm, who would have thunk it? I dont wish you well and go die...very original. No wonder you two are the "world's funniest people."

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/13/2008 04:43 AM

Congrats to the resident Tin Man and his lovely wife. I've got nothing nasty to say.
















That is unless you're into dirty, dirty phone sex. You too Ima.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/13/2008 04:43 AM

Congrats, you two.


And O'Straw is O'kay.

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
03/13/2008 04:44 AM

You know there is a town that allows stuff like this.

UnderWhere? is in love 101,398 77
03/13/2008 04:46 AM

Congratulations!

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
03/13/2008 04:50 AM

Really its alwasy nice to see, two people who are equally as cursed by God, find each other in this crazy, mixed up world of ours.


Congrats!

Ima 2,940 6
03/13/2008 04:56 AM

That is unless you're into dirty, dirty phone sex. You too Ima.


was that an invite or an insult?

Flaming Bag of Shemp! 22,222 17
03/13/2008 10:18 AM

alwasy?

Thud 68,506 19
03/13/2008 10:29 AM

alwasy?

Pretend you were speaking Finnish. Impresses the tourists.

Chit 178,781 15
03/13/2008 01:37 PM

Congrats to the both of youse two love boids.

Chit 178,781 15
03/13/2008 01:40 PM

Classic Jep!!

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/14/2008 12:24 AM

Here we are on the happy evening.

I would like to thank the two guests who allowed me to sit on their shoulders so it looked like I was actually standing up.

Left to right: Straw, Manhole, myself and Ima.

Marmite blocks toilets 12,955 12
03/14/2008 12:30 AM

Who the Frost wears a Spongebob Squarepants tie to a wedding?!!


Wait. Oh.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/14/2008 12:50 AM

Ok...left to right.....

Bernadette Peters, The only survivor of Princess Diana's car, Rock Hudson in late 1985, and the Arkansas State Fair beauty queen?

Nice!

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/14/2008 12:53 AM

"Welcome to the anti-social social!"

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
03/14/2008 12:53 AM

At least the two on the left are attractive!

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 12:55 AM

Ah yes, nothing says "I've reached maturity!" like a nose piercing in your wedding photos.

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 12:55 AM

Seriously, though, congrats you crazy kids. Ima, be sure to get your tubes tied!

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/14/2008 12:58 AM

I have a feeling that Sage's sperm would chew through that knot.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
03/14/2008 01:02 AM

I hope it works out for you because I hate to see people get divorced or anything, but the whole thing is sort of Frosted up and bizarre.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/14/2008 01:05 AM

. Ima, be sure to get your tubes tied!


tied, cut, burnt and sent to china after the birth of my third child. So, no chance of procreation.

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/14/2008 01:21 AM

Three kids? Sheesh Sage. I guess you could have found a cooch slightly more sloppy.

UnderWhere? is in love 101,398 77
03/14/2008 01:26 AM

Aw, congrats youse guys!

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/14/2008 02:28 AM

Ima, you look glowing!

Sage... you look ambulatory!

Thud 68,506 19
03/14/2008 04:18 AM

Awwww.




Yep, that was it.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/14/2008 04:42 AM

thank you Cinder, psst don't tell he can walk.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
03/14/2008 04:56 AM

May your genital warts grow together. Always!

All the breast!

manhole 21,656 29
03/14/2008 09:07 PM

Who the Frost wears a Spongebob Squarepants tie to a wedding?!

Why only a total geek of course! And Slinky was supposed to be there but something happened and he couldn't make it. I think he fell down the stairs or something.

More pics here.

Miss, Throw me sumtin Mr. Trixxie 65,026 15
03/14/2008 09:14 PM

Good Lord
Sage and Ima
Fronz and Vex
Spicey and Underware
TTJ and Donk

Who's Next Skippy and Pram?

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 09:46 PM

Actually, Trix, my money's on you and Skip.

Jade - Queen Of Mistakes 14,453 11
03/14/2008 09:48 PM

<action>looks at wedding photos</action>
Bloody. Hell. Look what the cats dragged in. Ima, you look rough as hell.

Slinky 28,185 10
03/14/2008 09:50 PM

Well I actually have gotten a few minutes today to log on here and congratulate and also apologize to the happy couple.

I did get my new car on Wednesday like I said and left around 2pm on Saturday to get down there. Right around 6 pm and sitting through a bit of traffic I realized that I was quite hungry.

I pulled off the next exit I saw to go and look for some food. Apparently that one exit was the center of the Bermuda triangle and I was transported to the most country backroad I've ever seen.

When I figured out that the only way I was going to get a hamburger out there was to slaughter one of the cows and cook it myself, I tried to turn around in the middle of the road back toward the interstate.

A nice large rock noticed that my tire was securely sealed against my rims and didn't like it. As soon as I ran over it it broke the seal on my tire and it almost immediately went flat.

I pull over my car and get ready to change my tire so I can get back on the road and it turns out my new 'pre-owned' car was so PRE-PWNED! that the spare was also flat.

I had to call Geico and request roadside assistance to get myself back on the road. My phone was almost dead by this point and I had to randomly turn it on and off every 30 minutes to see if Geico was able to find me. After about an hour of trying to look up where I was I was left a message to call 911 so they can try to locate me through cell phone towers.

Basically, I missed the wedding and didn't get home until about 5 am! I will always remember your wedding day though Sage and Ima, I just can't say I was there to see it.

But congratulations you two. I wish the best.

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 09:56 PM

Well at least you had the courtesy to put double lines between every single sentence to make your story more convincing.

Green undies are kinda gross 101,398 77
03/14/2008 09:59 PM

Bloody. Hell. Look what the cats dragged in. Ima, you look rough as hell.


Hey now, Jade. That's not nice! All brides are beautiful on their wedding day!

Some just more than others.

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 09:59 PM

Also from Sage's photobook. A pic from the honeymoon night!

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/14/2008 10:29 PM

Look ma, no training wheels.

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/14/2008 10:31 PM

We always expected you two of being from another planet, but the alien penis on the cake was a dead give-away.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/14/2008 10:49 PM

Bloody. Hell. Look what the cats dragged in. Ima, you look rough as hell.


I would justify that with the truth, but why bother. We do have better pictures and I am personally glad they got a picture of my boys walking me down the aisle. Wow, what a coincidence manhole and sage with the same tie????

Lila Can Has Baby! kthxbye 78,555 13
03/14/2008 10:53 PM

I like the gargantuan WASP pic of Jesus hanging over their heads.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/14/2008 11:54 PM

I like the gargantuan WASP pic of Jesus hanging over their heads



Well, we can't forget J.C. now can we? Also, the average age of the church members are 60+ so they need BIG WORDS and BIG PICTURES.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/15/2008 02:28 AM

Look away Jesus!!! Look awaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/15/2008 02:47 AM

loljesus?

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/15/2008 02:48 AM

What's the movie screen for anyway? To cover Jesus' face when they have Bingo night?

Phuc 237,919 21
03/15/2008 03:33 AM

Note to women who are not going to marry out of desperation: Gain all that ass-weight after the wedding, not before.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/15/2008 03:39 AM

It begins!

Miss, Throw me sumtin Mr. Trixxie 65,026 15
03/15/2008 04:00 AM

Has anybody actually heard from Sage after the wedding? I beat she either ate him or sacrificed him to her dark God.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/15/2008 04:19 AM

He sent us this picture of him hugging his new father in law.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/15/2008 04:50 AM

Gain all that ass-weight




you would know all about that wouldn't you?

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/15/2008 04:52 AM

Has anybody actually heard from Sage



scroll up!

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/15/2008 04:56 AM

Come on, people. Sage and Ima look blissfully in love, they had a nice simple wedding they enjoyed, Sage wore a tie he liked and they even extended an invitation for all of you to share the happy moment with them. They didn't just offer the olive branch- they gave you the whole damn tree and then some extra virgin olive oil.

P.S. Ima, you don't look rough. You looked lovely.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/15/2008 05:10 AM

Thank you Cinder I appreciate the sentiment. We are appreciating the sincere well wishers and ignoring the rest.

Pram 80,728 42
03/15/2008 05:20 AM

MAZOLTOV!

Hah, more like Molotov.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/15/2008 06:45 AM

They didn't just offer the olive branch- they gave you the whole damn tree and then some extra virgin olive oil.

A turd with frosting on it is still a turd.

O'Straw 98,019 37
03/15/2008 07:20 AM

Sage wore a tie he liked.

Heh. I can see why people like pranking GAB alot. It's pretty darn easy.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/15/2008 10:00 AM

no doubt, even with the hints dropped and other pictures they didn't get it at all. Definately detail oriented people.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/15/2008 10:08 AM

I definatly think chix should run for public office. In just one thread he insulted Jesus, a church, my vagina... thereby my children. I am sure the active gay community in that area will just luv you. Did I mention my best friends live nearby?

Oh and since you claim to be religious you would know the projector screen is used for bible school, bible study and buisness meetings.

redwing 3,887 30
03/15/2008 10:14 AM

Hell, anyone that insults your vagina is gonna get my vote. Chix in '08, for whatever.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/15/2008 11:53 AM

Heh. I can see why people like pranking GAB alot. It's pretty darn easy.

Now, now- I have never denied the fact that I am functionally retarded.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/15/2008 11:54 AM

A turd with frosting on it is still a turd.

Yeah, and your head up your ass is still your head up your ass, numbnuts.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/15/2008 12:16 PM

After looking at those pictures, I've decided that this marriage is not going to end in divorce. It will be 'til death do they part.

And Ima, I'd make sure Sage has made you the beneficiary on his life insurance policy and that the premiums are paid up to date.

O'Straw 98,019 37
03/15/2008 08:24 PM

Now, now- I have never denied the fact that I am functionally retarded.

Just to clarify, I don't think anyone is stupid! I just thought it was funny that everyone so easily accepted (or went along with the joke) that the groom wore a Spongebob tie.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/16/2008 04:55 AM

Sage has made you the beneficiary on his life insurance policy



Well I sure wont be getting any insurance any time soon, so we are good to go. Considering he has cheated death 3x, now I think I will be the one to go out first.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/16/2008 08:25 PM

Good luck and congratulations. May the man or woman you really love never grow old to you.

Filly 39,193 20
03/17/2008 01:02 AM

I just thought it was funny that everyone so easily accepted (or went along with the joke) that the groom wore a Spongebob tie.

See, normally I wouldn't believe a groom would wear such a dumbass tie. However, this is not normal. This is far from normal. This is the spawning ritual of two pathetic assmongers who are desperate for attention. Therefore, the tie makes perfect sense.

Oh, and Straw and Cinders....your heads are so far up Ima and Sage's ass I'm surprised you could even see the pictures. Sucking up to people no one likes is not the way to become popular.

Pubah O'Shaunassy 56,813 18
03/17/2008 03:38 AM

Seriously

I hope you two are happy together and your lives are filled with joy, love and lots of Hot Sex.

Care Bears and Twizzlers,
Pubah

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/17/2008 04:29 AM

not the way to become popular.


Weird, I thought this was a comedy site not a popularity contest? I am quite sure insulting Straw and the other well wisher's will really make you really popular! Carry on with the hate!

O'Straw 98,019 37
03/17/2008 04:42 AM

Oh, and Straw and Cinders....your heads are so far up Ima and Sage's ass I'm surprised you could even see the pictures. Sucking up to people no one likes is not the way to become popular.

What the Frost are you talking about? Let me splain something to you. I know a little bit about Sage because I chatted with him a couple of times on the phone when he was going through a really hard time. I didn't develop as much of a friendship with him as other GABbers did, because I'm not good at keeping in touch with people. But I always thought he was a nice guy, despite making a couple of bad choices in starting threads *cough*theTacothread*cough*

When he was going to be in Virginia to visit Ima, he asked if I'd like to meet up with them. They are both very nice people, even if it doesn't come across that way on GAB. We're not bestest friends, but it cost virtually nothing for me to meet them for lunch and then eventually attend their wedding.

I've ignored most of the Ima and Sage bashing in this thread and all the others because this is GAB and that's just par for the course. I did get pissy with Al in the other thread, but that was for different reasons and I backed off quickly because it's just not worth it.

Just because Cinder and I are trying to be nice and not be quick to judge someone as beneath us doesn't mean that we have our heads up their asses. I have never in my life ever had the goal of being popular, mostly because I knew I just wasn't that cool. But if the way to be popular is to Shakespeare on people just because everyone else is doing it, or be judged as being a suckup, you can Frost-ing have it.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/17/2008 04:51 AM

You go Straw!!!!! Not even for defending the Sage and Ima show, but for letting Gab know that atleast some people have standards and teh hate is not teh funny!

Filly 39,193 20
03/17/2008 06:16 AM

...you can breeding have it.

Sweet. No competition!

Thud 68,506 19
03/17/2008 06:49 AM

Filly, hold still for a minute.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/17/2008 07:14 AM

Marriage is for suckers.

Thud 68,506 19
03/17/2008 07:18 AM

TTJ, I believe that sucking is how some people manage to get married in the first place.

And how they stay married.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/17/2008 07:19 AM

For the record, I love a good bashing as much as the next guy. But Ima looked wonderful as a bride, and even if I didn't I wouldn't be telling a woman that she looked bad on her wedding day. Same thing goes for Sage's tie. It was THEIR Frost-ing wedding, they should be able to wear whatever they want without strangers from the internet making smart-ass comments about them.


I know, I know. I got married in a bar and therefore have no room to talk.

Thud 68,506 19
03/17/2008 07:21 AM

Note that I didn't mention Sage or Ima.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/17/2008 07:23 AM

TTJ, I believe that sucking is how some people manage to get married in the first place.

And how they stay married.


Pfft. Like married women give blow jobs.

Thud 68,506 19
03/17/2008 07:39 AM

Give my sympathies to Donk.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/17/2008 08:10 AM

I knew from the moment I stepped in that room that Jane and Donk where gonna stay hitched forever. It was like a Frost-ing Navajo sweat lodge in there; we had to have summoned a Shakespeareload of spirits n' Shakespeare, and since they didn't strike us dead, they must have approved.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/17/2008 10:25 AM

Sucking up to people no one likes is not the way to become popular.

Exactly. If I was sucking up, don't you think I'd be joining in on the Sage-Ima-bashing? I was being nice because I didn't see a reason not to be.

Besides, do you think I ever had a hope of being popular anyway?

Green undies are kinda gross 101,398 77
03/17/2008 10:46 AM

I'm popular on the internets!!!lolz!111

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/17/2008 11:11 AM

Thank you Tee-Tee-Jay. It was a wonderful ceremony and It felt right. We had approximately 70 people come and watch the union.
Sage is an amazing person. I told my chidren when asked "if all the men lined up who would you pick?" My answer was I would have to see their heart and soul.If it wasn't for the children we would have just had a civil union. As soon as I move I will apply for full legal custody.
The tie was worn to the wedding by Manhole. At the reception, we kept tring to think of a funny prank so for a few camera shots they exchanged ties. You can even see him in the appropriate tie as we are walking down the aisle as husband and wife.So just to clear up the tie issue it was manhole's.
O.k.I am waxing poetic and that's Sage's job, but thank you!

Chit 178,781 15
03/17/2008 11:12 AM

I like the gargantuan WASP pic of Jesus hanging over their heads.


Holy Shakespeare...I thought that was Skippy.


I could give a Shakespeare what the others think...I've tried my hand at it, and avoided what appears to have been a few bad relationships.

My hat goes off to anyone that can convince themselves that this is the right move for them

Statistics show, that about 50% of these endeavors work out.

That's way better than I would guess.

If I got those odds at the race track, I might drink less and bet more.

Rock On Ima and Sage...

Just promise.

If it blows the Frost up..you owe it to us to tell us all the details.

<wink>

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/17/2008 11:25 AM

Thank you to everyone who gave us support. I may not say all the names, but we do and will remember.

Filly 39,193 20
03/17/2008 11:46 AM

Like hell. What do you want to bet they've forgotten already?

Nachos - Misanthropy = good, Sociopathy = bad. 57,521 23
03/17/2008 07:53 PM

I was being nice because I didn't see a reason not to be.

Cinderblock is the anti-Nachos.

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
03/17/2008 08:01 PM

Did I mention my best friends live nearby?

Whoa, hold up Ima...

...You have friends?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/17/2008 08:04 PM

This week, Straw and Cinderblock are my favorites. The rest of you, not so much.

Ravos, The Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
03/17/2008 08:12 PM

This week, Ravos is my favorite.

The Lovely Daggy 86,705 14
03/17/2008 08:13 PM

Let me get this straight. The wheelchair guy/porn stalker hooked with an unknown nube who like to talk about herself to the point of vomit............. got.......... married?








Frost-ing perfect.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/17/2008 09:44 PM

This week, Straw and Cinderblock are my favorites.

I made it onto the best. List. EVER.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/17/2008 09:52 PM

Okay, I've refrained from wedding commentary thus far, but here goes:

I agree that Manhole probably shouldn't have worn a Spongebob tie to a formal wedding, but if Ima/Sage didn't mind then why should I give a Shakespeare?

I'm a little apprehensive of an internet marriage especially when one of the parties is significantly geographically removed from the other even post wedding, but good luck and well wishes anyway.

Ima you look better in your wedding photos than any other photo I've ever seen of you. You and Sage look happy so I guess that's all that matters.

I'm neutral like Switzerland, bitch.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/17/2008 10:11 PM

I'm neutral like Switzerland, bitch.

Neutral like a molecule with a stable number of valence electrons, baby.

Yeah, that's right, you dirty, dirty noble gas.

KChiki, not Kimchi 128,359 98
03/17/2008 10:11 PM

I'm also neutral on this point because I don't want to wish anyone unhappiness, but it just seems that the odds aren't great for lasting success. That doesn't mean it can't happen, just that I think it's going to be rough and most people nowadays don't feel the need to try to work through the rough patches.

I met my husband on the interweb and knew I was going to marry him on our first date. But we waited 4 years to tie the knot. What's the rush?

Nachos - Misanthropy = good, Sociopathy = bad. 57,521 23
03/17/2008 10:14 PM

I met my husband on the interweb and knew I was going to marry him on our first date.

I'm assuming that, due to the lack of a massive dust cloud as he fled within the first five minutes, you didn't actually tell him this.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/17/2008 10:24 PM

Neutral like a molecule with a stable number of valence electrons, baby.


I think I've found my soulmate.

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/17/2008 10:27 PM

<action>rides up on his Mongoose Freestyle bike complete with handlebar rotor and front and back pegs.</action>Cool is about being comfortable with who you are because everyone is hiding an inner geek somewhere. So what if Sage started a few creepy threads. So what if Ima likes to talk about herself and Sage. We ALL have our schtick in one form or another on this site and are merely caricatures of our meatspace selves. Anybody who emanates waves of hatred that go beyond schtick on here needs to pop themselves a Fleet because they're too full of themselves.

Except BIG. I don't think even a pallet of Fleets could clear out a Shakespearebag that enormous.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
03/18/2008 03:30 AM

I agree with Jolson.

Congrats, you two. May your days be filled with happiness and nights be filled with, well, whatever the hell you want to fill it with.

Everyone is entitled to find someone who makes them happy.

Sage is still a creeple, and Ima should shut her Coleridgeholster sometimes.

Poop.

Filly 39,193 20
03/18/2008 03:32 AM

Here's the thing: they posted about their wedding on a comedy site. They are aware that they are not the most popular and/or liked people on this site, and yet announced it anyway. Somehow, I don't think they were expecting tons of well-wishing.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/18/2008 03:33 AM

What's the rush?

There a quite a few logical reasons why we married when we did, but really we just wanted to. We would have moved immediatly, but I was waiting out some major news.So now the kids will get to finish their school year. Since we have managed to be together ever two months or so, this is no big wait.I agree most people don't work too hard on relationships, but as it has been repeatedly pointed out "we aren't like most people." Damn, there I go talking about us again.

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/18/2008 03:42 AM

Here's the thing: they posted about their wedding on a comedy site. They are aware that they are not the most popular and/or liked people on this site, and yet announced it anyway. Somehow, I don't think they were expecting tons of well-wishing.

Operative Words: Comedy Site.

They may not have expected well wishing but I'm sure they weren't expecting the verbal equivalent of a Fight Club beat down either.

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/18/2008 03:43 AM

<action>splices a frame of penis footage into the thread.</action>

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/18/2008 03:47 AM

They may not have expected well wishing but I'm sure they weren't expecting the verbal equivalent of a Fight Club beat down either.

Really? Sage has been here long enough to know that's EXACTLY what would happen. I'm not saying it isn't bitchy and Shakespearebaggy, but that's how it is here.

Additionally, whomever is five-orbing everything Sage, Ima, Cinder (sorryIstillloveyou), and Straw (Istilloveyoutoo!) just to make a point is a Frost-ing putz. I'm not in favor of anti- or whorbing on any occasion. If you've got something to say, then say it, don't hide behind the passive-aggressive clickie.

Ima thankin my Irish bloodline 2,940 6
03/18/2008 03:49 AM

gee, that's weird I don't remember starting this thread????

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/18/2008 03:51 AM

Really? Sage has been here long enough to know that's EXACTLY what would happen. I'm not saying it isn't bitchy and Shakespearebaggy, but that's how it is here.

The simple point I was trying to make was that Filly used the excuse of this being a comedy site as the reason for the verbal beat down.

Expected or not, deserved or not, the "comedy site" excuse is just bullShakespeare. There is an invisible line that we all know exists between being funny (at another person's expense) and being an outright Shakespearehead.

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/18/2008 03:59 AM

I'm just trying to inject some perspective to those who take this Shakespeare too seriously sometimes. On both sides of the fence.

Filly 39,193 20
03/18/2008 04:06 AM

The simple point I was trying to make was that Filly used the excuse of this being a comedy site as the reason for the verbal beat down.

I'm not using it as an excuse. I'm not using anything as an excuse. I don't like either of them, which is known, and if they blatantly talk about their personal lives on a website where people have been known to state their opinions very bluntly, they shouldn't be surprised about the result.

Also, Ima. I didn't say you started the thread. However, you or Sage, I don't remember who, started a thread talking about how you two were getting married. On GAB. Where neither of you are well liked. You're just asking for it.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/18/2008 04:11 AM

I suspect that one's take on whether vitriol is humorous or not depends upon what side of the popularity line you stand on.

Some of you are blessed; the rest of us have to keep making sure that that line isn't creeping towards us.

Jolson- Surfing the Red Tsunami since '93 16,163 11
03/18/2008 04:20 AM

I suspect that one's take on whether vitriol is humorous or not depends upon what side of the popularity line you stand on.


I agree with you to a point Dogs. I think that all of us are adult enough and have been around here long enough to recognize when that vitriol is being channeled to comedic effect and when it's just being used to be a mean spirited horse's ass.

Even if you completely loathe somebody, which I find odd since I personally couldn't fathom loathing anybody on here, then knock them out with something hilarious. That's the primary goal of a comedy site, correct?

The secondary being John's retirement cash cow.

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/18/2008 04:22 AM

I was neutral until I "insulted" Jesus.

Chix in da Mix 286,580 61
03/18/2008 04:32 AM

I just checked with Jesus and he says he was in no way insulted other than that his house was used to host this abomination.




(comedy site, remember, sheesh)

KChiki, not Kimchi 128,359 98
03/18/2008 04:37 AM

Yeah, he's a little upset about the whole thing.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/18/2008 04:57 AM

This week, Filly is my favorite.


Yeah, nothing new, but Frost it.

I Dream of Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
03/18/2008 05:12 AM

Neutral like a molecule with a stable number of valence electrons, baby.


Two atoms are in a bar, having a chat over some drinks. One of them says to the other one "Oh no! I lost an electron!"

The second replies, "What? Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

Thud 68,506 19
03/18/2008 05:43 AM

Congrats to the happy couple. Again.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/18/2008 06:34 AM

Cinder (sorryIstillloveyou)

I could never stay mad at you, baby.

gee, that's weird I don't remember starting this thread????

Oddly enough, neither do I...

syncope 49,019 14
03/18/2008 11:06 AM

This whole thread and both sides of the argument contained therein make me feel dirty.

Congrats Sage and Ima. Be happy.

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/18/2008 09:46 PM

Everyone is entitled to find someone who makes them happy.

WRONG.

Rapists, wife and child beaters, pedophiles, animal abusers and Billy Mays should never know happiness.

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/18/2008 09:47 PM

And people who Shakespeare on my playground... may the good Lord render pain and sorrow unto youse.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
03/18/2008 09:48 PM

And those Frosters that are always on your lawn, Frat?

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/18/2008 10:42 PM

Rapists, wife and child beaters, pedophiles, creeples, animal abusers and Billy Mays should never know happiness.

Fezig on his way to the castle anthrax 3,711 7
03/18/2008 10:46 PM

Congrats guys - may you find happiness and love and fulfillment forever.





















































Hopefully with each other!

That's What She Said 27,416 24
03/19/2008 03:19 AM

Yano that feeling of how you build something up inside until it blows and Shakespeares on everybody's parade? Yep, here it goes:

It only takes half a brain to realize that if news of your engagement wasn't well received, news of your wedding won't be either. You two had to see this coming.

I don't know if this qualifies as a GAB wedding. They may have met online, but it wasn't on GAB. Creeple decided to grace us with her presence AFTER they decided to get married. (What's yours is mine...) Thanks for that, by the way. It's like when ima came inall the funny ran out. It's all fine and dandy for people to be happy for you, but when you keep asking for people to be happy for you, it kinda defeats the purpose. Plus it gets a little annoying from time to time.

That being said, I don't think it's right to tell ANY bride she looked ugly on her wedding day. They call it "her day" for a damn reason. Let's be civil people. Just cause we were all invited to the hillbilly wedding doesn't mean we have to act like them. Ima, you looked beautiful, nose hoop thing and all. You should have just ran away when you had the chance. Divorce proceedings can be costly. (Don't say we didn't warn you).

Phuc 237,919 21
03/19/2008 03:21 AM

OK. She's only ugly on the inside.

Happy, Buff?

That's What She Said 27,416 24
03/19/2008 03:23 AM

Yes.

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/19/2008 03:28 AM

I don't think it's right to tell ANY bride she looked ugly on her wedding day.

Well, its not her wedding day anymore.

Freckle Monster 171,275 14
03/19/2008 03:35 AM

I agree that Manhole probably shouldn't have worn a Spongebob tie to a formal wedding, but if Ima/Sage didn't mind then why should I give a Shakespeare?

Sage (the groom) wore the spongebob tie. So I dont think the bride and groom cared much.

manhole 21,656 29
03/19/2008 09:18 AM

I agree that Manhole probably shouldn't have worn a Spongebob tie to a formal wedding

Good point. I should have worn this one.

And Taco, If hell freezes over and you invite me to your wedding in the future, I will be sure to where this tie.

Ima the better half 2,940 6
03/19/2008 09:44 AM

well my children loved although I may have to order #1 for the next time sage actually gets drug(ed) into church!

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/20/2008 02:04 AM

I don't know if this qualifies as a GAB wedding.

Yeah, and you're really in a position to judge? Oh, well. Frost it. It really doesn't matter to me if it was a GAB wedding or not.


They may have met online, but it wasn't on GAB.

Then where did we meet, pray tell since you were there and all...


Creeple decided to grace us with her presence AFTER they decided to get married.

Check the date of posts, dumbass, before you spout out what you don't know. There are probably three other GABbers that knew me and talked to me before Ima came on board who know the whole story.


Thanks for that, by the way.

You're welcome! Anything for a friend internet stranger you.


It's like when ima came inall the funny ran out.

Yeah. That was it. Good thing to know that since "all the funny ran out" that you're still here keepin' teh funny goin'...

That's What She Said 27,416 24
03/20/2008 02:07 AM

Oh no, I've pissed it off!! Run for the hills!

BillSalamie 67,057 13
03/20/2008 02:19 AM

I'm so glad that ima and sage disapprove of so much juvenile humor, because then we wouldn't be graced by such hilarious diatribes like ima's.

foxybill42 623 6
03/20/2008 02:22 AM

Being the new kid on the block I wish you both all the Love and Happiness you both deserve.
Congrats!

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/20/2008 02:25 AM

Being the new kid on the block I wish you both all the Love and Happiness you both deserve.

I can't tell if thats an insult or a compliment.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
03/20/2008 02:33 AM

It depends if he is Donnie, Jon, Joe, Danny or Jordan.

Magnum P.I.quantrax 972 10
03/20/2008 02:59 AM

Sorry about the miscarraige.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
03/20/2008 03:05 AM

I'm so glad that ima and sage disapprove of so much juvenile humor, because then we wouldn't be graced by such hilarious diatribes like ima's.

I'm so glad that Blaise disapproves of me and Ima. I'm not sure what I'd do if I couldn't sit down and enjoy the masterful imping he does and the tireless efforts he puts forth into setting the bar at "juvenile" and does everything he can at maintaining that superb level of comedy.

Magnum P.I.quantrax 972 10
03/20/2008 03:08 AM

You mean to say that the level of comedy on this site has been lowered.

This is the worst dating site ever.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
03/20/2008 03:15 AM

So, we're in agreement, Sage. I'll make bad jokes and you and ima won't make any.
And you'll just soccermom everyone.

Filly 39,193 20
03/20/2008 05:54 AM

<action>blows a kiss and winks</action>I think I have a crush on Blaise.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 05:55 AM

Hey ima, you know he only married you to Frost your kids.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 05:59 AM

I hope the truth hurts you enough you break your computer.

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 06:02 AM

BIG

being nasty since 2005

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/20/2008 06:06 AM

being nasty since 2005 birth.

Fixed it.

Filly 39,193 20
03/20/2008 06:09 AM

BIG

being nasty since 2005

Yeah, but that's what makes him so darn loveable.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 06:10 AM

I'm sorry Thud, you're right.

ima, the computer is innocent, please do not hurt it. Give it away.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 06:12 AM

CinderCarroll,

Don't worry about fixing other people's posts. Just worry about not being a Frost-ing idiot.


Me

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 06:20 AM

I'm sorry Thud, you're right.

Thank you for recognizing the fact BIG.

Now please, continue with your current diatribe.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 06:24 AM

I know how upset you IT guys get when innocent computers get hurt for no reason.

I'm just surprised that someone who willingly married Sage can work something more complicated than a TI-81.

Humphrey 51,764 12
03/20/2008 06:24 AM

Highest Quality Ties.

Made of silky 100% polyester fabric.


Hey.. it really was a hillbilly wedding!

Humphrey 51,764 12
03/20/2008 06:25 AM

Hey.. you! Wachoo readin' fo?!

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 06:25 AM

IT guy? If you meant me, wrong guess bucko.

Humphrey 51,764 12
03/20/2008 06:27 AM

Your a snake* charmer, right?




























*And by snake I mean Coleridge.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 06:28 AM

I was informed that your icon was for your technical help provided to Zug.com, that's Z-U-G.com. From that I inferred that you were an IT guy.


Guess I was wrong, and you're just a computer geek.

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 06:50 AM

Technical help = advice on body disposal methods.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/20/2008 07:11 AM

I have no proof of this, nor have I ever been told, but I was under the impression that Thud got his icon through donations to the site.

Or for that weekend he spent with John.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 07:15 AM

HEY DITDAH.


How was your Monday?

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/20/2008 07:16 AM

Not very exciting, actually. I spent it all on a plane, and I only had one drink all day because I forgot to get cash before the flight.

I'm a bad Irish gal.

Did you celebrate appropriately?

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 07:16 AM

Or for that weekend he spent with John.

I thought we agreed to never discuss that, Ditdah.

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 07:17 AM

It was a three day event.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/20/2008 07:17 AM

Well I didn't offer to show the pictures!

Thud 68,506 19
03/20/2008 07:19 AM

Do you still have the video you shot?

The Rev. Dr. Big Irish Guy Jr. 203,956 21
03/20/2008 07:19 AM

Booze and gay sex...




do we really have to keep discussing Sage and ima's wedding?

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
03/20/2008 06:58 PM

All jokes aside, it's really not that far off.

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/20/2008 08:05 PM

I spent it all on a plane

Were there snakes on said plane?