God. 67,057 13
03/27/2008 03:54 PM

Whoa now. I never said not to take insulin.

Anh is here eating mango. 11,158 14
03/27/2008 03:56 PM

Even God doesn't have a custom icon?

BillSalamie 67,057 13
03/27/2008 03:58 PM

No, but he has a custom Chevy Impala.

You can't expect to know everybody Brock. 58,948 29
03/27/2008 03:58 PM

I'm all for the prayer, but these people are just stupid.

You can't expect to know everybody Brock. 58,948 29
03/27/2008 03:58 PM

Jesus lived the ultamite thug life.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
03/27/2008 03:59 PM

In fairness to the parents, prayer worked as well as trying really hard to evolve a new body capable of regulating blood sugar properly. Suck it, scientists.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/27/2008 04:05 PM

I agree with BobJohnson.
</obvious>

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/27/2008 04:06 PM

This is sad, but it happens. Diabetic people die all the time from complications. The thing that floored me was the fact that their 8-year-old son died from an ear infection. A Frost-ing EAR INFECTION!

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/27/2008 04:08 PM

This is sad, but it happens. Diabetic people die all the time from complications.

Not in developed nations to otherwise healthy children above age 5.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/27/2008 04:08 PM

My friend's mom is a Christian scientist. She told me she'd pray for my mom's breast tumor.
The prayer worked! Or maybe it was the surgery...

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/27/2008 04:12 PM

I don't believe in the power of prayer over death, but I do believe in the power of ignorance over life.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
03/27/2008 04:13 PM

Somehow I think that praying vs taking medication that keeps you alive is kind of a stupid thing to do.

Too bad there won't be any charges pressed against these pigFrosters.

Chit 178,781 15
03/27/2008 04:19 PM

"Stupid is as stupid does."


I'm still not sure what the Frost that statement really means, but I'm sure it applies here.

Chit 178,781 15
03/27/2008 04:22 PM

Too bad there won't be any charges pressed against these pigFrosters.


I'm pretty sure that the pigFrost-ing thing, is a whole seperate issue.

Bankey 70,843 10
03/27/2008 04:23 PM

So I'm the only one who was amused by "Police Chief Dan Vergin's "name?

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/27/2008 10:23 PM

"Demon pancreas, the power of Christ compels you! Release this child from your wickedness and start producing insulin..."


Sure, I can see how that might work.

Closet Friend 7,665 11
03/27/2008 11:50 PM

...she and her husband are not worried about the investigation because "our lives are in God's hands..."

Old testament justice - "an eye for an eye..." - is too good for ANY parent that looks on while their child suffers and dies.  She was a fifth-grader!  Any of you have kids?  Anyone remember being eleven???

This just bothers me...

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/27/2008 11:58 PM

Doesn't the bible say something about how god helps those who help themselves?

Whatever. The bible also says that some guy walked on water. It's all bull.

Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear 173,153 25
03/28/2008 01:54 AM

The bible says that if the government wants to send a child to the doctor, but the parents don't, then that child should be cut in twain. If Al eats the innards of the right side, it's spring. If Al eats the innards of the left side: 6 more weeks of winter.

Tweak 18,881 12
03/28/2008 02:43 AM

she and her husband are not worried about the investigation because "our lives are in God's hands

I'd be worried if I was them. If God didn't already hate their retarded family, he sure as hell does now.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/28/2008 02:50 AM

I just filed a report on my nephew; for medical neglect. His 4yr old daughter has the worst case of bottle rot ever. All her front teeth are black and I found out she has swollen gums on top. I haven't seen her for a year. This was suposed to be fixed.

My family sux!

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
03/28/2008 05:25 AM

Question: "God helps those who help themselves - is it in the Bible?"

Answer: "God helps those who help themselves" is probably the most often quoted phrase that is not found in the Bible. This is actually a quote from Ben Franklin and it appeared in Poor Richard's Almanac in 1757. In fact the Bible teaches the opposite. God helps the helpless! Isaiah 25:4 declares, "For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat..." Romans 5:6 tells us, "For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
03/28/2008 05:26 AM

Ben Franklin also said Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. But I'm pretty sure he stole that from the Bible too.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/28/2008 06:25 AM

The bible is all bunk anyway. Why does a person need his or her moral code to be written down in order to follow it?

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
03/28/2008 06:56 AM

Because left to ourselves we would have the moral code of a goat in rut?

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/28/2008 07:06 AM

Not true. I don't live by the bible, and I am what most of you would consider very uptight. No drinking, smoking, lying, promiscuity, etc. I don't need to associate myself with an archaic script just to be a "moral" person.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/28/2008 07:56 AM

"Science and Medicine 1, God 0"


I believe the actual math is:

Science and Medicine 0, God -1

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
03/28/2008 08:53 AM

Yes, but you're such a Carroll.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
03/28/2008 08:54 AM

HOLY CRAP DID I ACTUALLY HIT SEND?!!!

Jelly tipped Neep 35,066 15
03/28/2008 08:57 AM

Yes.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/28/2008 09:13 AM

Good to see your Christian love coming out, Chix.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
03/28/2008 09:14 AM

It especially looks nice next to my Christian judgement.

TomServo 3,759 7
03/28/2008 09:18 AM

parents chose to pray for her rather than take her to a doctor

To be fair they didn't say if they were praying for her to die or praying for her to live... I dont think we should discount the power of prayer just yet

syncope 49,019 14
03/28/2008 11:44 AM

Maybe we can get Tweak to go ask god the score.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/28/2008 11:51 AM

She insisted her youngest child, a wiry girl known to wear her straight brown hair in a ponytail, was in good health until recently.

Oh, she wore her BROWN hair in a PONYTAIL! Well that explains it all!

Sir Tron Tuna Casserole 3,360 9
03/28/2008 12:18 PM

I believe prayer heals all wounds, I also believe in using medicine as a "Just in case".

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/28/2008 12:23 PM

I usually stick up for allowing people to believe whatever they want.

If people want to believe the Earth is only 6000 years old, fine.

If people want to believe that when you die you come back as a tree, fine.

If people want to believe that eating only tofu and praying to bugs is the way to enlightenment, then yippee for them.

But when it comes to this "God is a healer; prayer vs. medicine" stuff, I get pissed off. If you're an adult, and you choose not to get treatment and leave it to God, fine. But don't do that to a child. An innocent kid should not die because of your religious choices.

And besides, if you believe God is responsible for everything we have, wouldn't that include modern medicine?

Bean 8,602 19
03/28/2008 12:54 PM

I believe that God heals, but I don't believe he always does it with a big poof and tah dah you're all better. I've known people personally who were healed after prayer, but that doesn't mean you should not seek medical attention. I do agree that God provides the medical community with the knowledge they have, so USE IT, MORONS!

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/28/2008 12:56 PM

And besides, if you believe God is responsible for everything we have, wouldn't that include modern medicine?

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Sir Tron Tuna Casserole 3,360 9
03/28/2008 01:05 PM

Damn I was just joking

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/28/2008 01:08 PM

I don't see how anyone can see prayer as a rationally minded medical treatment. It's like wishing really, really hard to not get cancer. Whether you get it or not, the wishing didn't have a goddamn thing to do with it.

Tweak 18,881 12
03/28/2008 01:17 PM

Maybe we can get Tweak to go ask god the score.

Yeah, I asked around. Turns out he's imaginary.

Ima 2,940 6
03/28/2008 01:26 PM

shouldn't this be renamed dumb ass parents versus medical science. I am fairly sure even god thinks they are dumb asses.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
03/28/2008 01:26 PM

Science and Medicine 1, God 0

If the family prays hard enough, maybe God will even the score by bringing the daughter back from the dead.

Robo Ravos 63,472 21
03/28/2008 01:28 PM

...as a zombie.

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/28/2008 01:32 PM

And besides, if you believe God is responsible for everything we have, wouldn't that include modern medicine?

Exactly. I believe in the power of prayer but I also believe that God gave me the good sense to take advantage of all of the other things he's provided. Like doctors, medicine, and the ability to realize that I'm too Frost-ing stupid to be taking these kinds of things into my own hands.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
03/28/2008 01:32 PM

Here's what should be done: shoot the parents in the kneecaps. If thet just sit there and pray for healing, they're innocent. But if they so much as ask for an aspirin, they're guilty of murder.

Hydrant-monkey 9,888 23
03/28/2008 01:39 PM

Prayer used to work. Then god died.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
03/28/2008 02:50 PM

The Bible explained scientifically.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
03/28/2008 02:56 PM

You're retardis.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/28/2008 03:10 PM

Yes, but you're such a Carroll.

And lo, the Lord did say unto his flock, "WTF? Either SUYT or STFU, n00bs, for I am teh h0linezz."

root@chichi# 161,353 14
03/28/2008 03:17 PM

Chickens, the melding of Christ and the best Dr. Who gets you five orbs.

Mister Cellophane 45,655 12
03/28/2008 07:47 PM

This one time, I was wishing really hard for a boner.

And it totally happened!

God is indeed generous with His blessings.

Mister Cellophane 45,655 12
03/28/2008 07:52 PM

Taco,
Don't be a stupid slut.

A trained mind and a strong will can do some pretty impressive Shakespeare with the power of self-suggestion.

P.S. Impressive. Shakespeare. - Literally.

P.P.S. I was just kidding about the slut part.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
03/28/2008 07:55 PM

There is nothing wrong with a stupid slut.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
03/28/2008 08:00 PM

Blow me. You can make yourself sick, and you can make yourself feel better, but you can't think yourself into not having cancer or AIDS or diabetes. Neither can "god," who's just an imaginary friend for grown-ups anyway.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
03/28/2008 08:45 PM

Taco, I think it's time we started talking about marriage.

Briham knows how to use the Three Seashells 38,843 10
03/29/2008 04:02 PM

In fact the Bible teaches the opposite. God helps the helpless!

Footnote: "If you have access to and can afford medical treatment, you are not helpless. Don't waste God's time just because you're too much of a dumbFrost to take care of it yourself."

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/29/2008 08:48 PM

Today, God and I played dress up and had a tea party. Then I braided his hair and painted his nails. It was so much fun!

Chit 178,781 15
03/29/2008 09:06 PM

But when it comes to this "God is a healer; prayer vs. medicine" stuff, I get pissed off. If you're an adult, and you choose not to get treatment and leave it to God, fine. But don't do that to a child. An innocent kid should not die because of your religious choices.


Ditdah is SOOOO right on this one.


Even the guys that thanks GOD at the end of the Super Bowl...

Still went to Frost-ing practice every day.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 01:18 PM

You can make yourself sick, and you can make yourself feel better, but you can't think yourself into not having cancer or AIDS or diabetes.

And how do you know? Simple answer: you don't and -- here's a shocker -- NEITHER DOES SCIENCE. Ever heard of a "medical miracle," "spontaneous remission," "spontaneous healing," and other phrases bandied about in the medical community? There is soooo much in the world/universe that is completely beyond scientific explanation and it is part of being human that the irrational coexists with the rational.

You don't like the concept of a higher power or God? Good, I don't care and I'm sure you don't care that I don't care. But to be so naive as to think that science is the end-all, be-all of human thinking is just... ignorant.


Neither can "god," who's just an imaginary friend for grown-ups anyway.

Arrogance, much? Glad at the mature age of 21 you've got the whole of humanity's spirituality figured out.

What other secrets of the universe will you deign to grace us mere mortals with?

Hey, I think I'll start up the Non-Church of the Divine Taco! What with all the ass-kissing sycophants on GAB, I'm sure it'll be a big hit. Our non-religious symbol will be a phallus between two huge titties and the common non-blessing will be "STFU, n00b!"

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
04/03/2008 01:20 PM

Go choke on a bowl of dick, Sage. "Medical miracles" always have a rational explanation, finding it out for most people is either just a waste of time, or they don't want to hear it. If someone wants to believe in God, Frost-ing great, but I'm not okay with this belief starting wars and getting children killed.

Ditdah 123,110 14
04/03/2008 01:21 PM

And you wonder why people bitch to you about not trying to be funny?

Ditdah 123,110 14
04/03/2008 01:21 PM

Dammit, Taco, get outta my way.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 01:35 PM

Man, Sage is still trying to hit on Taco.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 01:37 PM

By the way, I believe in God. And if I have to kill every Frost-ing one of you to get you to believe in Him too, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 01:38 PM

"Medical miracles" always have a rational explanation, finding it out for most people is either just a waste of time, or they don't want to hear it.

No, they don't always have a rational explanation. Where do you read this stuff, at your porn store? Do you even talk with doctors and PhD's and scientists in their fields of expertise? There are thousands of people who don't believe in God or a higher power who have spontaneous remission of their cancer for example and the docs really, really want to figure it out -- you know, so they can TRY AND HEAL OTHER PEOPLE.

Ever heard of the placebo effect? Science has been studying that for years, still with no rational, medical explanation, except perhaps some vague statement about the amazing healing properties of the human body.

You just admitted that people can and do influence certain systems of the body that doctors consider "autonomus." How do you explain that then? Lay out the science for me, please. If I'm mistaken, I'd happily admit it because I could sure use some more healing myself. (yes, my funny bone apparently is broken)


If someone wants to believe in God, Frost-ing great, but I'm not okay with this belief starting wars and getting children killed.

One has nothing to do with the other, in this context. And it's rather foolish to think that secular leaders and rulers haven't killed millions upon millions of people either for just as "legitimate" reasons as an imaginary being. You know, kinda like "from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs."

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
04/03/2008 01:40 PM

Our non-religious symbol will be a phallus between two huge titties and the common non-blessing will be "STFU, n00b!"


For some reason, I'm ok with that.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 01:42 PM

Man, Sage is still trying to hit on Taco.

I offered to be the head non-priest of her new non-religion? What more do you want?

I mean, I can't marry her, I'm already married. What do you think I am, Mormon?

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
04/03/2008 01:44 PM

Nope, just a wheelchair full of creepy Sage.

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
04/03/2008 01:45 PM

Actually, this is EXACTLY what this thread is about: a set of parent's belief in God killing their daughter.

I could go into explanations of placebo effect and how much science and medicine does know about body regeneration, but it won't do any good. I worked at the CDC for a year and was the first person, ever, to isolate two specific genes of Syphilis, so I'd like to think I have at the very least a rudimentary understanding of medicine and biochemistry. But, much like people against evolution argue there there's no missing links (there are, do some goddamn research), most "unexplained" medical mysteries are, people just don't care to know. Saying it's a miracle from God is sexier and affirms their preconceived ideas.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 01:47 PM

Hey, I think I'll start up the Non-Church of the Divine Taco!

Way to try to be a cheap rip-off of the pastafarians.

Although I have to admit, divine taco vs. flying spaghetti monster would be pretty exciting. Alot like Godzilla.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
04/03/2008 01:57 PM

I just wanted to interrupt the discussion long enough to say:

Now I'm picturing Taco wearing a long white lab coat with nothing underneath. I think I might possibly be gay.


Carry on.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/03/2008 02:01 PM

and was the first person, ever, to isolate two specific genes of Syphilis

Had a bad weekend, did ya?

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 02:01 PM

I could go into explanations of placebo effect and how much science and medicine does know about body regeneration, but it won't do any good.

Honestly, please tell me, or gimme a link. Saying that you could provide an explanation but that it may not be accepted by anyone is a cop-out.



I worked at the CDC for a year and was the first person, ever, to isolate two specific genes of Syphilis, so I'd like to think I have at the very least a rudimentary understanding of medicine and biochemistry.

I will defer to your knowledge about biochemistry then since I have no background in that. And how does knowing of several strains of syphillis prove that everything medical and or body related is provable by a scientific standard?



But, much like people against evolution argue there there's no missing links (there are, do some goddamn research), most "unexplained" medical mysteries are, people just don't care to know. Saying it's a miracle from God is sexier and affirms their preconceived ideas.

I personally don't necessarily belive in miracles from God, but I do know that science can't explain everything. There is much about humanity that is beyond scientific testing in the first place. You cannot subject emotions to double-blind surveys for example.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 02:02 PM

I mean, I can't marry her, I'm already married. What do you think I am, Mormon?

Figured you'd just offer to Frost her on the side like the stand-up guy you are.

Oh wait...

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 02:03 PM

And I also don't believe in rules of spelling, apparently.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/03/2008 02:04 PM

Science once insisted the world was flat.

I Dream of Stone Cold Bikini 62,262 18
04/03/2008 02:04 PM

I worked at the CDC for a year and was the first person, ever, to isolate two specific genes of Syphilis,


Breaking ground with two new kinds of syphilis?



You dirty slut.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2008 02:08 PM

I once had two types of syphilis on my jeans.

Can I get my PhD now?

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 02:09 PM

Figured you'd just offer to Frost her on the side like the stand-up guy you are.

Or maybe like the stand-up gal that your wife was when she cheated on your ass?

Funny how other men and women on GAB admitted to sleeping with married men/women, yet I'm the only one in your mind that deserves scorn and hatred.

Whatever.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 02:12 PM

Whateva'! I do what I want!

Slinky 28,185 10
04/03/2008 02:13 PM

Or maybe like the stand-up gal that your wife was when she cheated on your ass?


But she did send him flowers though.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/03/2008 02:14 PM

Taco, I'm actually impressed with the syphilis thing, but you have to admit that claiming to be an expert on a STD is comedy gold.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/03/2008 02:16 PM

And Frat's wife did not cheat on his ass. Wait, her sucking my Coleridge isn't cheating is it? I so confused now that they changed the definitions.

Slinky 28,185 10
04/03/2008 02:17 PM

Dude, don't worry about it. Flowers. Remember?

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 02:18 PM

Or maybe like the stand-up gal that your wife was when she cheated on your ass?

As the story goes, I don't think she was standing up at the time.

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
04/03/2008 02:18 PM

I think that they are giving you Shakespeare about it Sage, because your ...... well just Sage.


When I was doing it, I just happened to be stupid and naive. (Who knew people lie about the difference between divorced and seperated?)

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 02:18 PM

SEE?!!??

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/03/2008 02:24 PM

By the way, Chickens' thinks my wife is Bankey, so...

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/03/2008 02:27 PM

But Bankey has such beautiful hair.

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 02:35 PM

As the story goes, I don't think she was standing up at the time.

Um. Wheelchair! I wasn't doing too much standing myself.

At all.

And, to recap, I was single so I had made no vows to break in the first place -- she did. I made a choice, I chose really poorly. She made a choice -- a really desperate one (apparently).

I had admitted struggling morally with those choices -- far more than the vast majority of you all on GAB and probably in real life. I admit to my faults and accept responsibility for my actions -- far more than the rest of you hypocritical, overly judgemental people.

dropkick brody 43,090 12
04/03/2008 02:35 PM

By the way, Chickens' thinks my wife is Bankey, so...

So Frat tells himself 'this is not my beautiful wife'?

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
04/03/2008 02:36 PM

Really? I always figured that she shaved.

Wait, what are we talking about again?

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 02:36 PM

Sage is very good at catching on to subtle sarcasm.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/03/2008 02:39 PM

Jesus told me secretly that God does not exist.



Of course, God to me in confidence that Jesus likes to Frost farm animals. So what are ya gonna do?

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 02:42 PM

But he would never, ever, consider doing a table. Ever.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 02:43 PM

Not. Even. Once.

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
04/03/2008 02:51 PM

I don't feel the need to trouble either God or doctors. I know in my heart that if I am ever in need, Batman will save me.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 02:52 PM

He has shark repellant and anti mummy spray, so why not an anti-cancer inhaler?

It is probably already in his utility belt, but he just forgot about it.

Slinky 28,185 10
04/03/2008 03:19 PM

The Sage of Seattle

She made a choice -- a really desperate one


Come on people! Honesty is funny sometimes too!!!

The Sage of Seattle 36,465 8
04/03/2008 03:35 PM

No doubt, Slink. I noticed no one saw my "recap" joke either.

You know, 'cause I'm a re-capper.










Oh, hell. I guess it really wasn't that funny.

Pink Sparkly Straw Giggles 98,019 37
04/03/2008 03:35 PM

Arguments about Religion 1, GAB 0.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2008 03:38 PM

Science is always right.

Filly 39,193 20
04/03/2008 05:02 PM

Three things:

1. This was one of my favorite threads....right up until Sage started posting.

2. If this makes sense to you, you may be retarded.

3. Before I clicked on this thread, it had 666 clickies. Very suitable, I thought.

Undies - hypocritical and overly judgmental 101,398 77
04/03/2008 05:18 PM

Thanks for the new tagline!

It was either this or "deserving of your scorn and hatred" but I decided that this one was more positive.

manhole 21,656 29
04/03/2008 06:57 PM

yes, my funny bone apparently is broken

You should have a Doctor take a look at that.

manhole 21,656 29
04/03/2008 07:00 PM

Oh wait....

Dear god,

Please heal Sage's funny bone.

Amen.

Ravos, the Dreaded Gabberwocky 63,472 21
04/03/2008 07:01 PM

And if he doesn't listen, there is always Satan.

root@chichi# 161,353 14
04/03/2008 07:08 PM

I think everyone, especially Taco and Sage, is missing the point. When dumb people let their children die, dumb is reduced in future generations.

Don Ciccio 161,353 14
04/03/2008 07:11 PM

Also, isn't claiming to be the first person, ever, to isolate two specific genes sort of like being the first person, ever, to find two specific rocks on the beach?

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
04/03/2008 07:19 PM

But I found the best 2 rocks.

Thud 68,506 19
04/03/2008 07:19 PM

<action>decides to avoid all the intervening mess</action>
So, did anyone kill the parents yet? They probably won't resist because they expect their God to save them.

Don Ciccio 161,353 14
04/03/2008 07:22 PM

When you're pushed, killing's as easy as breathin'.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/03/2008 09:00 PM

Ahem: The placebo effect and divine intervention are two totally different concepts.

That being said: Poop.

Briham knows how to use the Three Seashells 38,843 10
04/03/2008 09:00 PM

<action>puffs inhaler</action>
Dammit! I'll never be able to kill anyone!

Phuc 237,919 21
04/03/2008 11:34 PM

As a man of the cloth and a believer in the divine Word of God, I put forth unto thee that science and creation can be reconciled.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/03/2008 11:40 PM

...It's still my birthday for another 20 minutes.

Whee!

Thud 68,506 19
04/03/2008 11:45 PM

Happy Birthday.

Humphrey. In the kitchen. With the Candlestick. 51,764 12
04/03/2008 11:52 PM

Phuc's link is proof that there is a God silicon in Texas.

Mister Cellophane 45,655 12
04/04/2008 12:32 AM

HB CB!

Mister Cellophane 45,655 12
04/04/2008 01:00 AM

Since anything and everything causes cancer, it'd be well neigh impossible to prove you can't give yourself cancer.

Scientist 1: "Jane! I've given myself cancer!"

Scientist 2: "Holy fish in a fish barrel, Arthur! This could change everyth- wait. No. It could have been the cheese. Or hot-dogs. Or, you know, water. Anything, really.

Scientist 1: "Damn damn damn damn! I knew I should've gone with STDs!"

Scientist 2: "As a militant believer of non-belief, I resent your use of faithist terminology."

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
04/04/2008 08:40 AM

Dr. Orpheus: (answering phone) Dr. Orpheus, master of mysticism.
Dr. Venture: Uh...Orpheus, it's your landlord. We're trapped in a clich. Use your fake impossible magic to get us out of here.

Briham knows how to use the Three Seashells 38,843 10
04/04/2008 02:16 PM

Dr. Orpheus: "I am by trade a necromancer! You know what that means, right?"
Brock: "That you have sex with dead people?"
Dr. Orpheus: "Phile. A necrophile. A necromancer can bring the dead back life!"

Ima_queen 0 0
04/04/2008 02:21 PM

I once had two types of syphilis on my jeans


Let taco sit on your lap did you?

TacoCrunch: GAB Necromancer! 61,976 36
04/04/2008 03:16 PM

Briham, I'm going to sneak out through the mouth, I'll be back with expensive crap to save you guys.

Briham knows how to use the Three Seashells 38,843 10
04/04/2008 04:47 PM

Dr. Venture: "Dean, stop riding the perfect man. Brock has to kill him now."
Dean: "Awww, can't we keep him?"
Hank: "Yeah Dad, can't we? We'll feed the perfect man and clean up after him and everything. Super swear. Please?"
Dr. Venture: "No. He's an abomination. Go ahead Brock."

Pink Sparkly Straw Giggles 98,019 37
04/04/2008 04:50 PM

This thread has been Ihavenoidea-jacked!

Jihad Joe: The REAL Arabian Hero 6,067 8
04/04/2008 09:51 PM

This thread has been Ihavenoidea-jacked!

IGNORE ME!!!!

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
04/07/2008 09:44 AM

So, to recap from the weekend.

Religion is crap.
No it isn't.
Religious zealots are bad.
No they aren't.
Sage is a cheating gimp with the heart of gold.
Taco got Syphilis on her pants probibly at a LARP event.
Skippy is gay.
And, all the links I post are safe for work.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/07/2008 04:22 PM

This LARP thing requires further investigation.

Bankey 70,843 10
04/07/2008 04:26 PM

That particular form of larping costs 299.99 for the first 5 minutes, and 39.99 for each additional minute.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/07/2008 04:29 PM

Hmmm, what's 299.99 divided by 6?

Bankey 70,843 10
04/07/2008 04:31 PM

Nothing compared to the ensuing dry-cleaning bill.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/08/2008 06:58 AM

I'm not okay with this belief starting wars and getting children killed.

God doesn't start wars.

Guns do.

Nachos - Misanthropy = good, Sociopathy = bad. 57,521 23
04/08/2008 07:01 AM

As a man of the cloth and a believer in the divine Word of God, I put forth unto thee that science and creation can be reconciled.

I'm not buying that until I see Jesus with a laser rifle.

manhole 21,656 29
04/08/2008 08:08 AM

and an ipod.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/08/2008 08:43 AM

Talk to these bozos.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/08/2008 08:54 AM

Guns don't kill people. Well, unless you whack them on the head with one really, really hard.

No Spring Chickens 286,580 61
04/10/2008 09:43 AM

It still wouldn't be the gun.

Freckle Monster 171,275 14
04/10/2008 10:06 AM

By the way, I believe in God. And if I have to kill every Frost-ing one of you to get you to believe in Him too, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

I love you.

Fratberry 283,028 53
04/10/2008 12:26 PM

It still wouldn't be the gun.

Okay, fine. It's the gun manufacturer. Aren't we really just splitting semantics, though?