The Sage, Ruiner of Threads, Purveyor of unFunny 36,465 8
04/04/2008 01:26 PM

BC Bud - Marijuana-laced brownies. Overall they're harmless and make you feel good for a while, yet they still end up lowering your IQ slightly every time.

Ima - Chocolate mousse. Only good to those who have excellent taste; to everyone else, it's just plain puddin' and not worth the effort.

TacoCrunch - Coke Classic. Lots of fizz and bubbles but nothing you really want after reading the label.

Straw - A glass of strawberry milk. We all need it and it's good for you and has a solid sweetness to it.

Filly - Diet Coke. Tries to be like Coke but really tastes like Shakespeare.

Manhole - Squirrel gravy. Some swear it's good, but I'm not willing to give it a try. Must be some kind of hillbilly thing.

Dogs - Hot dogs. You really don't want to hear about how they're made, but most people love 'em and have 'em handy.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 01:31 PM

I don't know, I've never been associated a food or candy of any kind.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/04/2008 01:34 PM

I'd like a shot at reading Taco's label.

TracyMcC 1,124 6
04/04/2008 01:36 PM

That's what I love about this site - wicked wit in small bites. Somewhat like tapas, but doesn't go straight to the hips, and tends to be *much* tastier! :)

drunkenfart 4,871 6
04/04/2008 01:47 PM

me jello shot. hard to swallow, doesn't taste very nice, but it has to be good because it's full of liquor.

Neophyte 9,956 11
04/04/2008 01:55 PM

Me: A bowl of dick, eat me!

Neophyte 9,956 11
04/04/2008 01:58 PM

I know what I said.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
04/04/2008 02:04 PM

Ima - Chocolate mousse. Only good to those who have excellent taste; to everyone else, it's just plain puddin' and not worth the effort Ham. On the hoof.

Fixed it for ya.












I'm sorry, but it was inevitable.

Ravos el suave 63,472 21
04/04/2008 02:07 PM

Sage Ground beef. Explanation unnecissary.

Pink Sparkly Straw Giggles 98,019 37
04/04/2008 02:23 PM

Cheeseburger and fries. I can't stop thinking about it.

So what's this thread about?

21 Prams 80,728 42
04/04/2008 02:35 PM

Sage - A chicken burrito supreme from Taco Bell. Cheap, easy, filling. Even though it tries to come across as something better than it is, you still end up liking it.

Yeah, liking it to DIE!

Shell Belle 77,143 25
04/04/2008 02:39 PM

Oooh, ooh, somebody do me!

BillSalamie 67,057 13
04/04/2008 02:39 PM

Ima's more like cheap wine. It kills brain cells and when you take it's top off you'll be soon vomiting.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:39 PM

Okay, let's see what we've got here-


Chance - A cherry A Twinkie. There's really nothing there, but you still love to eat 'em.

I agree with the Twinkie, because, much like a twinkie, she'll still be more palatable than you in 20 years.


Humphrey - Kangaroo burger. Really odd and I've heard some people like 'em, but good God, why??

Some believe that kangaroo burgers are one of the finer things in life, that can only be appreciated by people who don't need to show their superiority by dining on caviar and champagne.

Hammerhead - Puff pastry. Looks substantial, but really full of hot air. The first couple are good, but after that, it gets overwhelming.

No argument here. Hey, even a broken watch can be right twice a day.

Al, humanitarian, Zug admin - Chinese buffet. You think you're getting a good deal, something tasty and satisfying, but an hour later, you suddenly realize that you should have just gone to Jack in the Box instead.

No, Al is like chinese food in that an hour after eating it, you're digging in the fridge for more.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
04/04/2008 02:39 PM

so he's like the entire menu at denny's: it's there all day, but nobody really wants it

Shell Belle 77,143 25
04/04/2008 02:39 PM

Wait, that didn't come out right at all.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:40 PM

Trixxie - A fruit. Duh.

That broken watch? This is the second part of the day I was talking about.

Blaise - McDonald's cheeseburger. Every one is just like every other one; only good if there's nothing else available.

Be honest. Aren't we all guilty of wanting one of those little cheese-covered grease balls every now and then?

Thud - Broccoli. Not really good on it's own, but makes every dish just a tad better for you.

At least it doesn't make your piss smell like asparagus.

Stone Cold Bikini - Spotted dick. Cool name but never really caught on outside of it's country of origin.

Then I'm sure most countries would be glad to claim her as their own.

Fratberry - Ten pounds of catfood stuffed into a five pound bag. Or something.

I'd like to see YOU make that five pound bag of cat food look as sexy as he does. Or something.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
04/04/2008 02:40 PM

God damn simulposters.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
04/04/2008 02:40 PM

i was referring to sage

Ima_queen 0 0
04/04/2008 02:40 PM

Shell-Bell- Jordan Almonds over all sweet and tasty, but really kinda nutty.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:41 PM

Pram - An onion. Brings tears to your eyes just being around it, and a little goes a long way. Still, you want to throw it into pretty much every dish.

I refused to eat onions as a child. My mom used to trick my by cutting them up into pieces too small for a child to see before putting them in her recipes. I still resent her for that.

French Mailman - Souffle. Mostly worth the effort but has a tendency to collapse at the first loud noise.

You're a Frost-ing douche, Sage.

syncope - Hush puppies. They sound really odd, but they're pretty much awesome.

I can't remember-do I like Syncope? I'll reply to this one once I remember.

Chit - Vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. You know you really shouldn't but you know you'll like it anyway.

"You know you really shouldn't?" No, you should ALWAYS have Chit. Hell, it's okay to go ahead and have seconds.

Lupience - A truffle. Rare, hard to find (except by pigs), not really understood by most, yet still thought of as a delicacy.

Okay.

Sage - A chicken burrito supreme from Taco Bell. Cheap, easy, filling. Even though it tries to come across as something better than it is, you still end up liking it.

One thing I can say about Taco Bell is I always feel like I have a really clean colon after eating it. There's no way anything is left in there after all the Shakespeare it causes to spew out.

BC Bud - Marijuana-laced brownies. Overall they're harmless and make you feel good for a while, yet they still end up lowering your IQ slightly every time.

I never cared for pot. But if I HAD to get stoned, I'd want to eat it in a brownie.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:41 PM

Ima - Chocolate mousse. Only good to those who have excellent taste; to everyone else, it's just plain puddin' and not worth the effort.

I'm not even going to bother.

TacoCrunch - Coke Classic. Lots of fizz and bubbles but nothing you really want after reading the label.

You're still upset that you couldn't have her, aren't you?

Straw - A glass of strawberry milk. We all need it and it's good for you and has a solid sweetness to it.

Maybe that broken watch can be right three times a day.

Filly - Diet Coke. Tries to be like Coke but really tastes like Shakespeare.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Manhole - Squirrel gravy. Some swear it's good, but I'm not willing to give it a try. Must be some kind of hillbilly thing.

Which one is Manhole again?

Dogs - Hot dogs. You really don't want to hear about how they're made, but most people love 'em and have 'em handy.

Tube of meat. Does it get more awesome than that? I think not.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:41 PM

Ima - Chocolate mousse. Only good to those who have excellent taste; to everyone else, it's just plain puddin' and not worth the effort.

I'm not even going to bother.

TacoCrunch - Coke Classic. Lots of fizz and bubbles but nothing you really want after reading the label.

You're still upset that you couldn't have her, aren't you?

Straw - A glass of strawberry milk. We all need it and it's good for you and has a solid sweetness to it.

Maybe that broken watch can be right three times a day.

Filly - Diet Coke. Tries to be like Coke but really tastes like Shakespeare.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Manhole - Squirrel gravy. Some swear it's good, but I'm not willing to give it a try. Must be some kind of hillbilly thing.

Which one is Manhole again?

Dogs - Hot dogs. You really don't want to hear about how they're made, but most people love 'em and have 'em handy.

Tube of meat. Does it get more awesome than that? I think not.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:42 PM

Damn it.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 02:44 PM

That was way too much effort for a Friday, and now my head hurts. I think I should go lay down for a little while.


Also, I am a jelly donut.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
04/04/2008 02:47 PM

Hi-C Juice Box Shelle Belle- bright, sunny, seen at soccer games, and you'll want to put your straw in her box.

Pink Sparkly Straw Giggles 98,019 37
04/04/2008 02:55 PM

W00t! Oh wait, he didn't mean me.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
04/04/2008 03:09 PM

I can be your cheeseburger, Straw.

Ravos el suave 63,472 21
04/04/2008 03:10 PM

I can has cheezburger?

drunkenfart 4,871 6
04/04/2008 03:18 PM

I can has cheezburger?

no, all you get is a generous helping of Neophyte

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/04/2008 03:22 PM

Whistler: Escargot. It's a dignified food, but everyone knows it's still a little dirty.
Dogs: An advent calendar. You always know that you're going to get a treat, but it doesn't make it any less awesome.
Taco: Jalapeos. Fiery hot, and anyone who has ever had one wants to brag about it.
Shelle Belle: Chicken noodle soup. Comforting and soothing.
Undies: A box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/04/2008 03:34 PM

Undies wouldn't be an onion sliver?

</obvious>

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/04/2008 03:39 PM

Undies wouldn't be an onion sliver?

Well, she may be unexpected, but she's definitely not a Shakespeare fest.

Pink Sparkly Straw Giggles 98,019 37
04/04/2008 04:42 PM

Manhole: double raktajino, extra sweet

21 Prams 80,728 42
04/04/2008 05:00 PM

I hated onions as a kid. My mom used to trick my by cutting them up into pieces

Hey, don't get any ideas!!

SHP low on iron, high on vitamins 181,795 70
04/04/2008 05:09 PM

I'd be meat. Duh.

Mister Cellophane 45,655 12
04/04/2008 05:24 PM

I associate myself most with bacon.

Gravymix 342 5
04/04/2008 06:31 PM

This is a toughie.

Lila - deserving of your scorn and hatred 78,555 13
04/04/2008 06:50 PM

Aw man, no food reference designed special for me?

luupiience 0 0
04/04/2008 07:52 PM

Worst. Sexthread. Evar.

luupiience 0 0
04/04/2008 07:54 PM

Lila- Screaming Yellow Zonkers.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
04/04/2008 07:57 PM

No.

Lila: rump roast. Delicious rump roast.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/04/2008 08:18 PM

Lila and KChiki: Buns. In the oven.

manhole 21,656 29
04/04/2008 08:29 PM

<action>Google's the word "hallelujah" to insure correct spelling</action>
Hallelujah! Glorie be to god almightie! My prayer has been answered!

Wendy Lady 156,790 17
04/04/2008 08:45 PM

A kumquat: when you first bite in, bitter, then sweet after you suck on it for a little while.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
04/04/2008 08:59 PM

BC Bud - Marijuana-laced brownies. Overall they're harmless and make you feel good for a while, yet they still end up lowering your IQ slightly every time

Holy Shakespeare I make a list!!!!!

Too bad I won't remember it later....

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
04/04/2008 09:01 PM

<action>flashes up a doobie</action>
Holy Shakespeare I made a list!!



Huh? What? I already said that????


Really?????

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/05/2008 01:53 AM

I'm beer. You might be reading a post by tofu, but you want me.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/05/2008 01:54 AM

Also, beer is arrogant. It's a well known fact.

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/05/2008 02:05 AM

A martini-drinking beer? That's got to be a first.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
04/05/2008 02:23 AM

A martini-drinking beer? That's got to be a first.

That reminds me of a time when I lived in residence at university. I ran out of booze, so I borrowed a bottle of whiskey from one of the guys and a bottle of wine from one of the girls and mixed them.

The next morning, the chick said, "Hah! I can't believe you didn't finish the bottle of wine I gave you, Bob! You're such a pansy!"

Then she tried it.

Tube of meat 211,594 32
04/05/2008 01:13 PM

I like it. So good, it's gotta be said twice.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/05/2008 01:23 PM

I think I'd be lima beans. A few people like me.

Tube of meat 211,594 32
04/05/2008 01:29 PM

Two of them are me.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
04/05/2008 01:39 PM

Awesome. Two of Dogs's personalities like me!

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/05/2008 03:06 PM

That's like saying that twelve of BobJohnson's toes fit into a pumpernickel.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2008 03:21 AM

Et tu, Janey?

I actually think of GAB as that Italian leftover soup. You take a weeks worth of leftover food and throw it all in a pot and make it all into soup. I don't recall the actual name of it off the top of my head.

Or a giant bowl of mixed nuts.

Rose Colored Jeens 47,792 51
04/06/2008 04:05 AM

Also, I am a jelly donut.
TTJ, I heard that you were bologna?

Tee Tee Jay- Ich bin ein Berliner 173,958 15
04/06/2008 09:58 AM

Et tu, Janey?

Let me clear something up. I personally like you, HH. But you ARE full of hot air sometimes. Not all newbs need to run screaming from GAB like they've had a hot poker shoved two feet up their ass.

Don't get offended, HH. Hell, I love my husband. But don't think for a minute I don't know that he's an Emerson at times.

Swords will fuckin' cut you wide open 77,546 17
04/06/2008 10:01 AM

Go eat a bowl of cottage cheese.

You can't expect to know everybody Brock. 58,948 29
04/06/2008 11:13 AM

Awesome Jane. Just Awesome.

I like to think of myself as a rare steak served on a Bacon placemat. I do have a refined plate, but I also enjoy the trashier things in life.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
04/06/2008 12:14 PM

Not all newbs need to run screaming from GAB like they've had a hot poker shoved two feet up their ass.

Hey now, that's not fair. The last person I did that to was Jep, and he's still around. And has minimal scarring. And in my defense, he said he wanted something to help him quit smoking.

TracyBunny, Cuddly Bringer of **DOOM** 1,124 6
04/12/2008 05:26 PM

I think everyone should have a gummy haggis.

A winnar is Undies! 101,398 77
04/12/2008 05:47 PM

Bitch, stay away from my man!

TracyBunny, Cuddly Bringer of **DOOM** 1,124 6
04/12/2008 05:53 PM

Undies, with someone ingenious enough to come up with the meat cake prank, why, oh *why* would he ever look at anyone else??

Best.Prank.Ever. I've been thinking of trying it out on my hubby to see what he thinks. :)

Miss, Throw me sumtin Mr. Trixxie 65,026 15
04/14/2008 10:30 AM

Puh, Lease. I would be a foot long dog, with Xtra Chili and Cheese

Chance 171,275 14
04/14/2008 12:42 PM

Celery.

You know I'm good for you but YOU STILL WONT EAT ME!

What?

DemoMonkey is neither 5 years old, nor a girl. 166,252 10
04/14/2008 03:55 PM

A nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/14/2008 09:06 PM

Celery.

You know I'm good for you but YOU STILL WONT EAT ME!

I love fast food!

TracyBunny, Cuddly Bringer of **DOOM** 1,124 6
04/14/2008 09:43 PM

I may just be hassenpfeffer, but I aspire to be pinkberry.

The Jerk 6,311 9
04/15/2008 02:38 PM

I'd be jerked meat.