I have shared
The nude pics
that you sent me
via email

and which
you had expressedly
said
to keep secret

Forgive me
I can't help it
Your boobs are ok
And I need friends

I goatse'd
in your cancer thread
last week

forgive me but
your thread was
totally unfunny

I hope grandma
gets better
so I can Frost her

I have done
it all
for the nookie
the what?

the nookie
so you can take
that cookie
and stick it

up your what?
stick it up
your what?
stick it up your.

Mahna
mahna
doo doooo
doo doodoo

mahna
mahna
doo doo
doodoo

Mahna mahna
doo dooo doodoo
doo doodoo
doodoodoo doo doo doo doo doodoo doo.

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.

They were rotting
And old
Now I have the runs.

I personally
believe
that U S
Americans

such as
South Africa and
The Iraq
everywhere

like such as
that they should
help the U S
for our children

I have taken
the last astropop
it was in
the freezer.

And which
you were probably
saving
for desert.

Forgive me
I was really hot
and had to have it
betwixt my neathers.

I pulled apart
my ass cheeks
and assaulted
your eyes and brain

and which
you were probably
saving
to look at something nice.

Forgive me
No reason
I just like doing
things like that.

I have broken
the big branch
on the oak tree
in your back yard

Forgive me
it fell on your dog
and killed him
dead

But at least
I saw you
In your lingerie.











...Frat.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Perchance as in poetry.

I Gab, rather than work,
And it affects my employability.

To converse with like minds,
and flirt shamelessly.

'Tis nobler than . . .


OH Crap, now I have to pee.

I have played with
your shooz
that were in
my sweat pants

at which
you were probably
not wanting
to look

Forgive me
it felt really good
to be
walked in on

I have taken
the boogers
that were in
my nose

and wiped
them under your table
where you
eat breakfast

forgive me
if your hand rubs
against them
and they fall on your lap

I have deleted
the files
that were in
the server

and which
you were probably
using
for your company.

Forgive me
they were in
the way of
my WOW.

I've not taken
a bath
for at least
six weekends

and which
may have possibly
killed some
co-workers

Forgive me
I only laugh 'cause
I can't
smell myself

I have married
the creeple
that was in
your GAB.

and which
you were hating on
because
of his "poetry".

Forgive me,
he is as desperate
and lonely
as me.

I KNOW I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE THINKIN' IT!!!

I have taken
photographs
of my
peener

and sent
them to you
in exchange
for boob shots.

Forgive me
if I had known
you were a d00d
I would've just asked Trae.

I have bumped
this old thread
that's been dead
for more than a year

and that
you probably thought
was gone
forever.

Forgive me
we're short on funny
and this one always
makes me laugh.

I am chopping
the hooker in the kitchen
the trunk is no place
for dinner

and watching
you on the sly
saving you for
breakfast.

Saying now
and saying tomorrow too
Hey!
I need a toothpick?

I have bumped
the thread
that was on
page 42

and which
you had probably
forgotten
all about.

Forgive me
it makes me laugh
and I needed
the clickies.

Get me a beer



and a sandwich



blow me

I have eaten
the foetus
that was in
the icebox

and which
you would have
used to
help Mohammed Ali.

I now have
superpowers
and am
20 feet tall.

I have fixed
the anal warts
that were in
my ass

and which
you were probably
saving for
for breakfast.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold.

I have eaten
the nail clippings
that were in
your collection

and which
you were probably
saving
for a lonely Saturday night.

Forgive me
they were delicious
so gritty
and so cold.

I had to
find this
and bring
it back up.

KChiki touched
me deeply
without
her contact.

Forgive me.
My insides smiled,
cried soothingly,
all day.

I have taken
the drugs
that were under
your pillow

and which
you were probably
saving
for the weekend.

I am now naked
and hallucinating,
whilst dancing
with a goat.

We're in love.

Something about
some Shakespeare I did
spoken with
inflection.

Something else about
how what I did
might upset
you.

The consequence of
what it was,
spoken slowly
with
dramatic pauses.

My guide to poetry stardom

Take a normal
sentence and
insert a Shakespeare load
of line breaks

Then go
on NPR and
repeat ad nauseum
on 'Fresh Air'

Forgive me
I am but a hack
but with more money
than you

Something prolapse
something anal bleaching
something chocolate starfish
something something poop

Something something
something something dead hooker
Something sturdy tarp
something big trunk

Something something
something skank
something tub girl
something something Zug

I have eaten
the chocolate ice cream
that was in
your icebox

which you
were probably saving
for some sort
of comedy prank

Forgive me
but your
chocolate ice cream
tastes like Shakespeare

I had eaten
your heart shaped box
seconds from climax
you pee'd in my mouth

You nasty bitch
the smegma wasnt bad
but mixed with piss
it turned to Smeg-mud

Forgive me
if I sound upset
because youre a skank
I should of just jerked off

Shemp you sicken me
you garnered the clickies
That was funny Shakespeare
and a quite a bit icky

No topping that post
"Smeg-mud", you're an ass
Nothing I say
could have that much class

But she pee'd in your mouth
Oh my God, Frost-ing Ewwwwww.
That's so gross, but you know
I'd have wrote that Shakespeare too.

Thank you Bill, you just made my day, for liking my new word "Smeg-Mud".

Once and a while I can be funny.

I'm sorry I stole
The baby out your closet
That you were saving
For dinner

It started to rot
And was stinking up the house
I couldn't take it
Much longer

I will replace it
With a fresh one tomorrow
And make your sammiches
With that one

I am sorry
I slept with your husband.
But he is so much
better looking than mine!

I'm also sorry
We did it in your bed,
But your mattress
is soooo comfortable.

And my final apology,
for srewing your dad.
But he paid me for it
And now I can afford a breast enlargement.



Happy Birthday by the way!!