Miss, Throw me sumtin Mr. Trixxie 65,026 15
05/02/2008 10:57 AM

I swear to you, I had nothing to do with that.

Phuc 237,919 21
05/02/2008 10:58 AM

"Occifer, I did not, I repeat I did NOT dubble post. Hic!"

Pram 80,728 42
05/02/2008 11:04 AM

Hi, Mr. Policeman. Care for some head?

Pram 80,728 42
05/02/2008 11:04 AM

Awww crud, I forgot to put that in quotes so that it looks like it's coming from someone else.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
05/02/2008 11:05 AM

you wouldn't happen to have any vapor rub would ya?

Pram 80,728 42
05/02/2008 11:07 AM

No, I don't.

Go fish.

dangerousbeans 1,172 6
05/02/2008 11:08 AM

"I love you man!"

Secret Squirl 53,270 54
05/02/2008 11:09 AM

"Hey, are you real or one of those stripper cops?"

Fried Pickles Are Yummy 1,586 6
05/02/2008 11:10 AM

Officer to driver - "May I see your license please?"

Driver to officer - "Sure, but only if I can shoot your gun."

The littlest Ravos 63,472 21
05/02/2008 11:11 AM

"Can you put your sirens back on? They have a wicked beat, and I want to dance."

Mung Champ 35,891 35
05/02/2008 11:27 AM

"Nice costume George Michael...Wanna go outside?

Hey do you have any gum, man, I can't stop grinding my Frost-ing teeth"

The littlest Ravos 63,472 21
05/02/2008 11:34 AM

"Hey, can you do that thing you do? Yea, that song. Sing me that song. You know 'YMCA', thats the one! You guys are gay right? Not that theres anything wrong with that..."

KChiki, Princess of Power! 128,375 98
05/02/2008 11:40 AM

"Ohmigod, I just want to TOUCH your uniform. Can I touch the fabric? Did you know I have hair? On my head! It's sooooooooo soft! Man, I could really use a cigarette. HEY! Did you see when I rolled the window down? That was the COOLEST! Can I roll it back up just for a sec? I want to roll it down again!"

Mung Champ 35,891 35
05/02/2008 11:47 AM

"Officer, is it bad that I haven't pee'd in like six hours? I mean, I try to and all, but its like I can't quite connect with my lower body and then I get frustrated and then I just hear that beat of the music here in the club and... Oh listen to me rambling. Anyway I just love what you do for us. I mean I don't know you or anything, but I admire the dedication and commitment. I just want you to know that I love you and respect what you do! And not in a gay way, just that the admiration... Wait is that World Hold On... YES!!! I am so on the dance floor for this one. "

the avenged 126 6
05/02/2008 12:32 PM

I swear officer, I'm not rolling, but your eyes look a little glazed, have you been eating jelly doughnuts?

Pram 80,728 42
05/02/2008 02:07 PM

<action>Roxanne</action>

"He's a cop."

"No he's not, if he's a cop...where's his gun?"

...

"He's a FIREman. Ahahaha, ahaha. Cut a wide swathe, Poe."

Secret Squirl 53,270 54
05/02/2008 06:35 PM

Pull over I gotta pee.

TracyBunny 1,124 6
05/02/2008 07:20 PM

"Look out, I'm going to throw u-

*splat*

TracyBunny 1,124 6
05/02/2008 07:23 PM

"Dude, you've got to try this, it'll Frost up your world!"

This was actually said to my brother by one of the first guys he ever pulled over and arrested. Good times.

Bad Donkey 77,546 17
05/02/2008 07:30 PM

"Can I run the siren?"

"No."

"Can I run the siren?"

"No."

"Can I run the siren?"

"No."

"Can I run the si--"

Sound of pistol being Coleridgeed

"Nevermind."

resartus 404 9
05/04/2008 02:59 AM

Hey, man! You have any dope on ya?

Actually, I don't think you should ever say that to an officer.

Wendy Lady 156,790 17
05/04/2008 11:33 AM

"Sure I can say the alphabet backwards, but I'll have to skip X as I'm on it."

syncope 49,019 14
05/04/2008 11:53 AM

"Just touch me. Please."

resartus 404 9
05/04/2008 06:53 PM

Syncope, I think that would also be something that you should never say to an officer under any circumstances. Unless you're married to him or her and your at home in private.

resartus 404 9
05/04/2008 06:55 PM

Actually come to think of it, most of the post really don't matter if you're on X or not, you shouldn't say this stuff to an officer.

And on topic:
"I refuse to speak on the grounds that I will incriminate myself."

Pram 80,728 42
05/04/2008 08:12 PM

"Hey Offisuhh, sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
and I have to close my eyes and hide. I wanna hold you til I die,
till we both break down and OWW, YOU SHOT ME!!"

the Avenged 126 6
05/04/2008 09:55 PM

as you're getting out of the car 'hey officer, hold my beer while I piss' then proceed to piss on his foot.

Denim Jeen 47,792 51
05/05/2008 03:01 AM

My mom often succumbs to spoonerisms and actually said to a cop that she was the dresignated diver for the evening.


I paid her bail.

The littlest Ravos 63,472 21
05/05/2008 08:19 AM

"Hey officer, you got a purdy mouth."

syncope 49,019 14
05/06/2008 11:40 AM

"What seems to be the officer, problem?"


/southpark

Fratberry 283,028 53
05/06/2008 01:07 PM

as you're getting out of the car 'hey officer, hold my beer while I piss' then proceed to piss on his foot.

Clearly you are looking for the "Things you shouldn't say to a cop while on Dos Equis" thread.

Snappahed 943 8
05/07/2008 12:10 AM

"Can I see you li-"

"SSSHHHHH!! Can't you hear the fairies?"