Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
05/13/2008 12:47 PM

Four or five times, when pretty girls were called to the stage, he said, "I did her. No I didn't, but I wish I did!" And laughed like it was the funniest thing ever, every time. I was really getting to like this kid.

At one point the superintendent of the school district went to the podium and made a speech that went something like this:
"There is a ver specail award, rarely given, that it is my pleasure to present tonight. This student has been with us since kindergarten. In six years of elementary school, he did not miss one day of classes. He then went on to the middle school, where he did not miss a day in his three years there. Finally, he has gone four years hete at the high school without a single absence. It is my great honor to present this award for thirteen years of perfect attendance to..." and he called my new friend's name.

He sauntered up to the stage, where he was handed his award and given a standing ovation by the assembled faculty.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
05/13/2008 12:50 PM

it's a lie. there is no way that i would believe your son is a band geek.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
05/13/2008 12:50 PM

Upon arriving back at his seat, he said, "I was wondering why they invited me to this thing."

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
05/13/2008 12:55 PM

Holy Shakespeare! Drunkenfart said something funny! Someone please 5orb him for me (I'm Treo GABbing - orbs don't work).

What if and why not and who's to say? 101,398 77
05/13/2008 02:42 PM

This student has been with us since kindergarten. In six years of elementary school, he did not miss one day of classes. He then went on to the middle school, where he did not miss a day in his three years there. Finally, he has gone four years hete at the high school without a single absence

This was the case of one of my best friends in high school - Tim. I made him skip classes one day and drive me and another friend up to the city, just because I couldn't stand that he'd never gone truant.

Of course, my other friend and I got detention for it, while Tim didn't even get marked tardy. He got his perfect award at graduation.

After college, he moved to Chicago, then California, to become a talent scout for an independent record label. He's also gone bald and slept with lots of goth chicks with bad hygiene. Not sure if the award caused this chain of events though.

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
05/13/2008 05:30 PM

Aaaand the 'High Flying, Adored' song from Evita is in my head.

High flying, adored, that's good to hear, but unimportant
My story's quite usual, local girl makes good, weds famous man

Good story though, Whistler!

foxybill42 623 6
05/14/2008 03:37 AM

Hey dude I shorted your bag a half gram-so heres a Eightball to make up for it.
I promise I wont do it again.
Forgive me?

Phuc 237,919 21
05/14/2008 06:32 AM

I guess being baked every day would make it easier to endure high school.

I mean, compare the careers of Hamilton and Spiccoli.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
05/14/2008 08:48 AM

Hey dude I shorted your bag a half gram-so heres a Eightball to make up for it.

you are a an idiot..

an 8-ball for half a gram of weed? that's like returning a video game at wal-mart and exchanging it for a new car.

Hairybagel 386 5
05/14/2008 08:56 AM

I would still be pissed, cause then I'd have to sell the 8-ball. But I guess I could buy more than half a gram of weed so that'd be ok. The sad thing is, i'm really going to sell my plasma this Saturday. I mean, it's an extra $40 / week. That will pay for a day of drinking.

Straw 98,019 37
05/14/2008 09:12 AM

I would never give up my Eight Ball, I love it too much!

Straw 98,019 37
05/14/2008 09:15 AM

On the flip side, the internets and I often share a mutual loathing. Correct link.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
05/14/2008 09:32 AM

Hotlinking disabled!

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/14/2008 09:39 AM

8 Ball sippin. Tha bitches are flippin

Fratberry 283,028 53
05/14/2008 12:02 PM

Far out, man.

foxybill42 623 6
05/14/2008 12:52 PM

drunkenfart
You are a idiot. An Eightball has nothing to do with weed.Its a measurement for speed or coke.

Smoke it up Yum!!!!!!!!!!!

drunkenfart 4,871 6
05/14/2008 01:01 PM

well, in my days, an 8-ball was typically about 2.5 grams or so.

if someone shorted me half a gram of coke, i would surely notice that Frost-ing boulder missing.

i know my Shakespeare faggybill. i have done more drugs than you've sucked dicks.









ok, maybe not that many, but a lot.

Chickens votes RuPaul in 08 286,580 61
05/14/2008 02:11 PM

So, what did he have to say about Eamon?

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/14/2008 02:14 PM

An 8 ball would actually be 3.5 grams.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/14/2008 02:14 PM

Or it could be 40 oz of Olde English malt liquor.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
05/14/2008 02:17 PM

<action> Shudders </action>
Or it could be 40 oz of Olde English malt liquor

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/14/2008 02:24 PM

On the subject of malt liquor. There used to be something called Champale. It was marketed as a Sparkling Malt Liquor, and it came in four flavors. I think it had a foil top like a bottle of champagne. It was foul. Not as bad as the short lived Cool Colt 45 which was a menthol malt liquor. That was nasty stuff.

KChiki, Princess of Power! 128,375 98
05/14/2008 02:43 PM

One word.

Cisco.

Hairybagel 386 5
05/14/2008 03:05 PM

I still have a case or so of crystal pepsi in the garage.

Evil Pram 80,728 42
05/14/2008 03:06 PM

Here ya go, Straw.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/14/2008 03:08 PM

Cisco was bad news.

Fratberry 283,028 53
05/14/2008 03:40 PM

Champale

Fratberry 283,028 53
05/14/2008 03:41 PM

Also...

drunkenfart 4,871 6
05/14/2008 04:16 PM

hey wanesha, this Shakespeare right here is da bombdiggady! fo so' po' it up!

KChiki, Princess of Power! 128,375 98
05/14/2008 04:33 PM

Cisco wasn't even really "flavored". It just came in different colors that all tasted like the same ass.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
05/15/2008 08:51 AM

Naw, they probably tasted like different ass. One had a slight hint of corn.