BlueLep 13,144 10
05/30/2008 01:25 PM

Eff?

And today, this thread is brought to you by the letter "F"

Also known as Frost. Or, look at that Frost-ing noob!

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/30/2008 01:36 PM

You know when you put your hand inside a grocery bag
and grab a big handful of your dog's Shakespeare?

I think you'll agree, it's pretty hard to look cool while doing that.

Rupert Entwistle 74 5
05/30/2008 01:38 PM

Without Noobs there would be nobody for the feisty vets to pick on.

Neophyte 9,956 11
05/30/2008 01:41 PM

...stop trying to matter, you don't.

Blah, I am a Kracken from the sea! 181,795 70
05/30/2008 01:42 PM

GO. AWAY.

The Squirrel Master 53,270 54
05/30/2008 01:44 PM

Without Noobs there would be nobody for the feisty vets to pick on.

Is that what they are?

BillSalamie 67,057 13
05/30/2008 01:45 PM

More bitter than feisty.

The Squirrel Master 53,270 54
05/30/2008 01:48 PM

Without Noobs there would be nobody for the feisty vets to pick on.

I think he just called you old.

Pram 80,728 42
05/30/2008 01:54 PM

Suck on a straw. We all look stupid when we do that, and if we're looking at what we're slurping, we're slightly cross-eyed.

...Or wall-eyed, depending on whether or not there was a pre-existing eye condition.

Funkmaster BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/30/2008 03:16 PM

Inventing a perpetual motion machine while wearing kickass sunglasses.

Funkmaster BobJohnson 178,045 22
05/30/2008 03:26 PM

Oh, wait. . . I think I misunderstood the title.

The Squirrel Master 53,270 54
05/30/2008 03:36 PM

No, you got it right.

Inventing Cuddling a perpetual motion machine while wearing kickass sunglasses.

Looking cool while doing impossible things.
That would have been wrong

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
05/30/2008 03:40 PM

...that wasn't funny squirrel.

Like, at all.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
05/30/2008 03:41 PM

You know what else you can't look cool doing? Trying to correct Bob Johnson.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
05/30/2008 04:38 PM

It's really hard to look cool in line for meds at the drugstore after you've already peed your pants from the infection for which you were being medicated in the first place.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
05/30/2008 04:40 PM

It's also hard to look cool while writing what I just wrote.

Or reading it, for that matter.

Midgets 96,119 48
05/30/2008 04:44 PM

Burning in the pits of Hell.

Unless you have a mullet and Ray-Bans. Then you're always cool.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
05/30/2008 04:58 PM

Driving a minivan.

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
05/30/2008 05:08 PM

Without Noobs there would be nobody for the feisty vets to pick on.

I think he just called you old.

Funny, I thought he was calling them animal doctors.

Declan McManus as Doug Wilson 131,887 36
05/30/2008 05:31 PM

Putting in a pierced earring. In the right ear.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
05/30/2008 05:44 PM

Oh, come on Shelle, you can pimp out your minivan. Add some rims, flames, and sweet hydraulics.

Filly 39,193 20
05/30/2008 05:45 PM

I'm pretty sure it's impossible to look cool doing anything involving GAB. Especially if it's marrying another GABber.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
05/30/2008 05:46 PM

Not true. Taco and I will look awesome when we get married.

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
05/30/2008 06:10 PM

<action>thinks</action>Don't say doin' your wife, don't say doin' your wife.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
05/30/2008 07:29 PM

The worst thing for Spitzer? He had to give back his government-issued teeth, apparently.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
05/30/2008 08:15 PM

It's hard to look cool while seething inside about the incredibly low quality of the latest crop of noobs on your favorite internet message board.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
05/30/2008 08:18 PM

While wearing cargo shorts.

Doctor Acula 173,958 15
05/30/2008 08:20 PM

I'm pretty sure it's impossible to look cool doing anything involving GAB. Especially if it's marrying another GABber.

I'm pretty sure I won't look cool when I'm getting my "I ♥ Filly" tattoo removed.

Doctor Acula 173,958 15
05/30/2008 08:22 PM

And how could this thread have gone on this long without anyone posting
the very obvious "posting in this thread"?

Doctor Acula 173,958 15
05/30/2008 08:27 PM

Also, I just figured out how to type the "♥". I probably won't look to cool as I play around to see what else I can do. So far, I've got ☺ ☻ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ * ◘ ○ ◙ ♂ ♀ ♪ ♫ ☼ ► ◄

This could take a while. My Alt button is going to be worn out by the end of the night.

Declan McManus as Doug Wilson 131,887 36
05/30/2008 09:42 PM

Jane. Is. Evil.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
05/30/2008 09:47 PM

Its hard to look cool while standing naked in the middle of an intersection with a feather duster stuffed up your ass while wearing pair of xray vision glasses snd screaming "anyone want their fallopian tubes dusted?".









What? it the glasses, isnt it?

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
05/30/2008 09:49 PM

<action>reads last post and puts bag of pot away....</action>

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
05/30/2008 10:02 PM

<action>grabs BC's bag and rolls a fat one</action>

What were we talking about?

Filly 39,193 20
05/30/2008 11:32 PM

<action>gets down on knees and grovels</action>I'm pretty sure I won't look cool when I'm getting my "I Filly" tattoo removed.

I'm sorry, Jane! I didn't include you in that, I swear! Forgive me?

jxn sally 131 6
05/31/2008 01:12 AM

Without Noobs there would be nobody for the feisty vets to pick on.

I spewed coffee out my nose, I thought it said FISTY vets.

Hollis: emo hunter extraordinaire 7,284 14
05/31/2008 01:14 AM

I can't understand why veterinarians would want to pick on n00bs.

The British Guy 398 5
05/31/2008 07:15 AM

because noobs suck

manhole 21,656 29
06/01/2008 01:10 AM

Suck on a straw. We all look stupid when we do that

When I'm sucking on straw, the way I look is the last thing on my mind.

Neophyte 9,956 11
06/01/2008 05:25 AM

It's difficult at best to look cool whilst biting your toenails.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
06/01/2008 11:38 AM

You can't look cool while looking retarded.

Timmy 21,656 29
06/01/2008 12:23 PM

Uoolibla Timmayyyy.

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
06/02/2008 06:13 AM

It's impossible to look cool while jerking off to re-harden your flaccid penis after you lose your boner during sex.



Or so I've heard.

From your dad.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/02/2008 06:27 AM

I spewed coffee out my nose, I thought it said FISTY vets.

I was listening to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" in the car yesterday (yeah yeah. I also drink expresso with my pinky sticking out and I refer to the help by their first names) and I swore to christ they said "Fisty Goats." Same thing, though, it was "frisky goats."

Still gave me a boner.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/02/2008 06:30 AM

OK. To add to the list:

Using a Mac.
Double points for using a MacBook in an ice cream jernt.

Driving a Hyundai or a Kia.

Driving a minivan. Even the one with the leather seat, walnut trim, alloy wheels, JBL soundsystem, and me behind the wheel.

Crashing on HH's couch.

Going through your cellphone contact lists in a bar with other GABbers, trying to figure out who to donkey call.

Officiating GAB weddings.

Drinking Bud Lite.

Singing the theme to Dragon Tales while trucking down Boylston St.

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
06/02/2008 07:17 AM

As I'm browsing pictures taken at the Zoo last week, I can confirm that it is impossible to look cool while doing a monkey impression outside the gorilla enclosure.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/02/2008 09:02 AM

Cool? No.

Drop dead sexy? AbsoFrost-inglutely.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/02/2008 09:15 AM

To the gorilla at least.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/02/2008 01:20 PM

Buying goat-on-tranny pr0n.

Typing "pr0n."

Watching "Tron."

Running chron.

Dissing Stonn.

Hamish MacChickens 286,580 61
06/02/2008 01:29 PM

Eating an ice cream cone.


Though watching Caroline Maynard eating a push-up in the lunch room in high school nearly made my whole table blow their wads.

The Squirrel Master 53,270 54
06/02/2008 02:11 PM

I can confirm that it is impossible to look cool while doing a monkey impression outside the gorilla enclosure.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/02/2008 02:15 PM

I can confirm that it is impossible to look cool while doing a monkey impression outside inside the gorilla enclosure.

The Jerk 6,311 9
06/02/2008 04:26 PM

Having sex with a ham-armed woman while in a wheelchair.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
06/02/2008 04:29 PM

I didn't understand the last one at all, so I clicked it just in case it is actuallyl funny.

Chit 178,781 15
06/02/2008 06:59 PM

Pinchin' a loaf in a porta-potty, when that door gets flung open.

Evil Pram 80,728 42
06/02/2008 07:02 PM

Picking your nose and eating it.

Ditdah 123,110 14
06/02/2008 07:21 PM

Going through your cellphone contact lists in a bar with other GABbers, trying to figure out who to donkey call.

But that's what takes up 85% of the time when we all get together! What the hell else are we going to do - actually have CONVERSATIONS?

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/02/2008 08:27 PM

Picking your nose butt and eating it.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/02/2008 08:43 PM

Rosie Odonell

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
06/02/2008 08:50 PM

getting a prostrate examination

Phuc 237,919 21
06/02/2008 10:55 PM

Being a Mormon.

Hollis 7,284 14
06/02/2008 11:01 PM

Voting Republican.

Hamish MacChickens 286,580 61
06/03/2008 02:22 AM

Or worse, a democrat.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/03/2008 06:52 AM

Making a lameass comeback to your betters.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/03/2008 08:09 AM

Accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior...









So Uncool!

Phuc 237,919 21
06/03/2008 08:32 AM

Trying to get Florida and Michigan votes to count.

manhole 21,656 29
06/03/2008 09:20 AM

Wearing a spongebob tie to a wedding.

Evil Pram 80,728 42
06/03/2008 01:19 PM

Farting.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/03/2008 01:55 PM

Using a mac.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/03/2008 03:57 PM

Eating vegetarian alternatives to food.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/03/2008 04:09 PM

You can however look cool while eating vegetarians.

I do love pudding pops 1,379 9
06/03/2008 04:21 PM

Some might say it's impossible to look cool picking up dog crap, but I have my ways.

I do love pudding pops 1,379 9
06/03/2008 04:28 PM

oh, damn, I should read third posts more often..

Okay, just change "picking up dog" to "taking a," and add "while constipated" after "crap"

Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,593 15
06/03/2008 05:12 PM

Slamming your head into sections of a riverboat you are trying to repair in a timely fashion so they pass Coast Guard inspection.

I don't have my riverlegs yet.

Evil Pram 80,728 42
06/04/2008 11:10 AM

Falling down the stairs.

Bad Donkey 77,546 17
06/04/2008 11:37 AM

Running down a group of bicyclists while plastered on Johnny Walker.

Prammy Poo 80,728 42
06/04/2008 11:56 AM

Being airlifted into a baseball diamond at a national game during the reading The Star Spangled Banner with your draws down, and the bolts taken off the porta-potty, resulting in crane lifting the box part of the porta-potty, revealing your pasty-assed...ass.

And no toilet paper.

Pickle Sniffer 1,586 6
06/04/2008 12:23 PM

Trying to impress your new girlfriend by cooking her dinner and harvesting herbs from your ChiaPet herb garden.

Prammy Poo 80,728 42
06/04/2008 01:15 PM

Sculpting Chia Pets for a living.

jxn sally 131 6
06/04/2008 02:37 PM

I like this one.

Prammy Poo 80,728 42
06/05/2008 12:16 PM

Chewing bubble gum with your retainer in. It sticks to it and is impossible to get off. I've tried everything.

There's nothing worse than wearing a dental appliance with flavorless gum stuck to it.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/05/2008 12:19 PM

Rocking a visor.

Sporting a baseball cap.

Porting un maillot.

Rupert Entwistle 74 5
06/05/2008 02:15 PM

Eating beave

Prammy Poo 80,728 42
06/05/2008 09:25 PM

Getting robbed by clowns.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/05/2008 10:20 PM

Rocking a visor.

I have to do this at my current job ("Would you like fries or onion rings with that?"), but I look awesome in anything.

Bajorno 253 5
06/06/2008 12:07 AM

Posting your very first comment on Zug.

Bajorno 253 5
06/06/2008 12:08 AM

And saying "very first".

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/06/2008 12:17 AM

STFU, no0b.

</obligatory>

manhole 21,656 29
06/06/2008 12:56 AM

And saying "very first".

I dunno, I've used those two words quite often and the results usually turn out pretty cool, especially when its dripping down her chin.

Holy Taco 61,976 36
06/06/2008 01:03 AM

Not true. Taco and I will look awesome when we get married.

I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I've started planning, our wedding will be on the three day weekend and the final day will culminate in a giant orgy.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/06/2008 08:34 AM

I have to do this at my current job ("Would you like fries or onion rings with that?"), but I look awesome in anything.

Useless without pics.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/06/2008 09:58 AM

I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I've started planning, our wedding will be on the three day weekend and the final day will culminate in a giant orgy.

I've already ordered the cake. It's going to be shaped like Tubgirl with a chocolate fountain in the middle.

Bajorno 253 5
06/06/2008 10:39 AM

It's impossible to look cool being Bill O'Reilly.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/06/2008 10:48 AM

Let me be the first to welcome you and request that you Go eat a bowl of dick.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/06/2008 10:56 AM

N00B FIGHT! N00B FIGHT!

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/06/2008 11:44 AM

Rapping about Star Trek.

Hamish MacChickens 286,580 61
06/06/2008 12:58 PM

Putting on your underwear in the morning, getting one leg successfully through, but having the other get hung by your big toe after you have already committed the weight to that leg as well. You're going down, and it aint gonna be pretty.

Hamish MacChickens 286,580 61
06/06/2008 12:58 PM

And that's how that flashlight got in there Doctor.

The British Guy 398 5
06/06/2008 03:28 PM

"Impossible Things To Look Cool While Doin"

a retarded pregnant woman?

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/06/2008 03:38 PM

Giving birth

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 11:54 AM

<action>puts on an iron gauntlet and slaps the lust out of Cinderblock</action>

Not true. Taco and I will look awesome when we get married.

She's MINE, bitch!

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 11:55 AM

<action>picks Taco up like a sandbag, throws her on a horse, and it rides off into the sunset</action>

Frost, I forgot to get a horse for me!

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 11:58 AM

<action>gets on a riding lawnmower and gives chase</action>

Bean 8,602 19
06/07/2008 12:53 PM

Being rescued from a port-a-potty.

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 01:26 PM

Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty

That guy definitely wasn't up to anything kinky...

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 01:27 PM

<action>goes in a ditch</action>

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/07/2008 02:45 PM

Having sex with a shoe. A size 7 Converse Chuck Taylor. Really hard to look cool doing that.

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 05:27 PM

Hey Rockie,

This guy begs to differ.

>O<

It's not me, though. I don't shave my goulies.

Cinderblock 27,578 25
06/07/2008 09:45 PM

Whatevah, Prammers. Taco loves me.

Ditdah 123,110 14
06/07/2008 09:46 PM

GABbing.

syncope 49,019 14
06/08/2008 01:16 AM

Did someone say Tubgirl Cake?

Pram 80,728 42
06/08/2008 12:44 PM

Whatevah, Prammers. Taco loves me.

Awww, I like ya too.

Holy Taco 61,976 36
06/08/2008 08:05 PM

Hey, if we go to Utah/Arizona/Texas, we cal all get married together. No need to fight.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/09/2008 06:14 AM

Being over 40 and on Facebook.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/09/2008 08:45 PM

Roseanne Barr!

Amazing Aria 0 4
06/09/2008 09:46 PM

"Eating an ice cream cone. "

I've heard that many guys find that arousing when done in a sexy manner.

But here's some that I've decided.

Putting in dentures (can't stand watching my grand parents do that!)

Dishing meds out of your purse.

Shopping for flannel shirts

Scooping poop out of the litterbox.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/10/2008 10:58 AM

Scooping your poop out of the litterbox.

Fixed!

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 02:11 PM

Failing.