The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
06/06/2008 10:21 PM

I dare you not to post in this thread.

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
06/06/2008 10:45 PM

Well, since I already lost my own dare, I might as well post again in this thread, this time with a real entry:

"I dare you to set up a 5-cent psychiatric help stand on a busy street, exactly like Lucy's in the Peanuts comics, and stay there until you make at least 15 cents."

Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear 173,153 25
06/06/2008 11:26 PM

I dare John to work for a living.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/06/2008 11:46 PM

I dare you to show up on my doorstep. On June 11th. At 4pm CST.

Sabrina451 28 5
06/07/2008 12:08 AM

I dare you to crossdress as a schoolgirl/schoolboy, the sluttier the better, hose yourself down, go to a Church (or some other place of serious congregation by a mass of people) and go to the head person (Priest or Pastor if it's a Church) and say to them while soaking wet, "Daddy, i did my punishment, may i now have the lollipop you hid in your pants? You promised i could suck on it once i baptized myself."

Sabrina451 28 5
06/07/2008 12:09 AM

Oh, and make sure there is a crowd of people. :)

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/07/2008 12:19 AM

I dare you to go to a car dealership, begin by looking at all the high end cars, but insist on taking every subcompact for a test drive. Come up with the most asinine reasons as to why that particular car won't do (i.e. "the seat was too squishy", "the A/C smelled like goats", etc.) and move on to the next car in the line. As soon as you get back from the final test drive, walk away, without a word.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/07/2008 12:24 AM

I dare you to walk into a Home Depot/Lowe's/hardware store and sit in one of the display bathtubs and begin pantomiming taking a bath. If they try to kick you out, ignore them until you're completely through a normal bathtime routine. Bonus points for wearing a nude suit and a bathrobe.

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/07/2008 12:27 AM

I dare you to walk into a bookstore, take up residence in one of the cushy chairs, pull out a container of hard boiled eggs, and proceede to pull a Cool Hand Luke.

Steve! 12,538 15
06/07/2008 12:36 AM

I dare you to have sweaty mansex.
















fag

Hammerhead 59,399 14
06/07/2008 12:37 AM

I dare you to have an accomplice stash a safely contained package of food in a crumpled fast food bag in a public trash can in an are with a lot of people. You may then, after a reasonable amount of time, rummage through the trash can, find the marked bag and eat the contents.

Indiana Jane and the Napalm Enema 173,958 15
06/07/2008 01:08 AM

I dare you to go into a grocery store with a man. Go to the produce section and find the cucumbers, with your male friend/lover/husband stand a few yards away. Pick several cucumbers of varying sizes and deep throat each. After 4 or 5 cucumbers, hold up one of the cucumbers and yell "honey, I think this is close to the right size".

Indiana Jane and the Napalm Enema 173,958 15
06/07/2008 01:13 AM

See, I had this image in my head of someone deep throating cucumbers in a grocery store. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to think of a way to turn it into a funny dare. That was the best I could do.
cucumbers
cucumbers
cucumbers

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/07/2008 01:45 AM

I dare you to go to a computer store and start complaining to the salesman for selling you a computer that dosen't connect to porn sites. Bonus points for having a list of sites that you want to connect to and what you want to see on said sites.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/07/2008 01:56 AM

I dare you to stand on a street corner dressed as a homeless person, With a sign that says "God Bless". when someone stops to give you money say "What do you think I am a beggar?"

Hamish MacChickens 286,580 61
06/07/2008 02:06 AM

I dare you to go on Jerry Springer. You come up with the reason, I don't care. Just Be ON THAT SHOW.

You must post times of airing.

I do love pudding pops 1,379 9
06/07/2008 03:49 AM

I dare you to place your arm in a cast, wear loose pants and allow them to drop when you're in a public place.

To your choice person walking by: "Shakespeare, do you mind helping me out?"

See who can deny to help a poor, unfortunate, injured, pantless fellow.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/07/2008 07:54 AM

I dare you to wear a complete Yankees uniform and walk down E Broadway with a cooler full of hoodsies and give them out for free.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/07/2008 09:50 AM

I dare you to walk anywhere outside in public(where there are people) in your underwear. Walk up to people saying "Do you like my new outfit","Only the smartest people can see it","To everyone else it's invisible"

Bonus points if you can get someone to admit you are wearing clothes.

Gypsy Reik, Great Founder of the Gypsys 2 4
06/07/2008 11:07 AM

I dare you to go to a mall and ask random people what they think about gay marriage. Be sure to ask old ladies and manly men. Foreign people are a plus.

flarn2006 18 5
06/07/2008 01:10 PM

I dare you to walk into a convenience store in a chicken suit and randomly ask people for their autographs near the soda fountain. Then, if somebody gives you their autograph, soak it in Coke and give it back to them. Randomness is funny.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/07/2008 01:37 PM

I dare you to apply for a job as a nanny or for some position in daycare.

Must pop a Viagra one hour prior to the interview and ice your nipples in the parking lot.

I'm Phla. Random words. 131,068 34
06/07/2008 02:22 PM

I dare you to take viagra in church.

I dare you to commit credit card fraud.

I dare you to dress up as Ben Franklin and get kicked out of Boston forever.

I dare you to poop out a nickel.

...You sure didn't make this one easy for us.

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 02:25 PM

I dare you to put on a three-piece suit made of Mentos and pour a liter of Coke over yourself.

Pram 80,728 42
06/07/2008 02:26 PM

DIET coke. Coke will just make you sticky.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/07/2008 02:57 PM

Makes a deal with the most popular girl in school to help break you into the "cool" clic. Offer her a thousand dollars to pretend to be your girlfriend for a month. Learn that the price of popularity may be higher than expected. Hilarity ensues.

</Can't Buy Me Love>

A Zolton in Springtime 88,205 34
06/07/2008 03:54 PM

I dare you to collect a stack of menus from a local Chinese takeout joint, build and wear a sandwich board with the restaurant's name on it, and hand the menus out to passersby.


In front of your local animal shelter.

I do love pudding pops 1,379 9
06/07/2008 05:46 PM

Find the Ronald McDonald manikin at your local Mickie Ds. Begin a casual conversation with him, perhaps about 'nam. As time passes, get angrier and angrier with Ronald, finally slapping him in the face/punching him in the nuts and walking/getting kicked out.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/07/2008 06:21 PM

I dare you to kick Zoltron in the nuts.

A Zolton in Springtime 88,205 34
06/07/2008 06:22 PM

Hey.

Stay outta my sock drawer, Rover.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/07/2008 06:28 PM

Don't blame me. WandomRords said to do it.

the Avenged 126 6
06/07/2008 11:25 PM

I dare you to stick a hersheys bar down your asscrack untill it melts then go screaming like a retard into your nearest walmart and shove your hands down your pants and lick the hersheys Shakespeare off.

the Avenged 126 6
06/07/2008 11:27 PM

for those of you who 'are' mentally handicapped, take your hands back out of your pants before licking the Shakespeare off your fingers..

I'm Phla. Random words. 131,068 34
06/08/2008 12:01 AM

Wandom RWOARds.

the Avenged 126 6
06/08/2008 01:36 AM

and still tweaking my last posts, wave it around letting everyone see your Shakespeare-covered hands before licking them clean..

Matt913 4 5
06/08/2008 09:59 AM

I dare you to walk into a crowded mall on a Friday night wearing a cheerleader costume and dance and sing to "Mickey" by Toni Basil. I will also give you $50 extra from my share of the winnings if you can convince two or more people to make a pyramid with you.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/08/2008 10:37 AM

Pretend to be a 14 year old boy or girl and start chatting on the interweb with a pedophile (should take about five minutes). Set up a "Chris Hansen" style meeting.

When Pedophile comes over, confront him with the printed emails / IM's and ask a ridiculous set of unrelated questions.

For example "So I see you brought Coolwhip and want to rub it over my cat's genitals while I go down on you, but do you prefer paper or plastic?"

To top the bit off, have sex with child rapist.

Hilarity ensues.

Ravos is extremely hardcore 63,472 21
06/08/2008 11:00 AM

Go into a grocery store and buy a ton of bananas, cucumbers, and any other phallic shaped objects. Also, at the same time, buy a single pack of condoms (bring them from home if they don't sell them, but still try to buy them). As you put them on the cash register, fondle and caress each of the phallic shaped things.

Pram 80,728 42
06/08/2008 12:24 PM

<action>stink hand strikes again as Pram offers The Avenged a white crinkly paper bag of chocolate covered pretzels</action>I dare you to stick a hersheys bar down your asscrack untill it melts then go screaming like a retard into your nearest walmart and shove your hands down your pants and lick the hersheys Shakespeare off.

Care for a chocolate covered pretzel?

Midgets 96,119 48
06/08/2008 02:34 PM

I dare you to go to a yard/garage sale dressed in your best clothes and pass yourself off as an antique dealer. Find some hideous item and go on about its value and rarity. Break the item and offer them a quarter for it.

I'm Phla. Random words. 131,068 34
06/08/2008 02:37 PM

I dare you to go into a grocery store and say "This orange is bananas."

Then while everyone stands around applauding at your hilarity, you should probably have sex with a watermelon. For the big finish.

Midgets 96,119 48
06/08/2008 02:37 PM

I dare you to dress up as a cereal mascot and push your brand in the supermarket. Attempt to stop anyone from buying another brand by any means neccesary.
Bonus if you make kids cry.

Midgets 96,119 48
06/08/2008 02:47 PM

I dare you to go to the pet store and insist on sampling all the food before buying.
Then tell them you have a snake and ask to see a mouse.

The One, The Only; The High Priestess 58,948 29
06/08/2008 03:31 PM

After 2 car bombs, a washington apple and 7 shots of Smirnoff, grab random guys' asses in a bar and ask them if they want to Frost.


Wait, I did that Friday night.

I'm Phla. Random words. 131,068 34
06/08/2008 04:18 PM

(Smirnoff was the bouncer.)

Thud 68,506 19
06/08/2008 09:22 PM

I dare you to go to the county recorder's office and ask for a license to marry your pet sheep. Bring a picture of the bride-to-be.

Gorillapotamus! 0 4
06/09/2008 01:59 AM

I dare you to go through the checkout stand at the grocery store with just a carrot and some vaseline... repeat as necessary. Act natural.

drunkenfart 4,871 6
06/09/2008 11:38 AM

i dare you to shave using vapor rub as the lubricant.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
06/09/2008 12:02 PM

I dare you to walk into a crowded gym, wearing spandex shorts, a cut off T-shirt that says something like "Ozzy" or "Iron Maiden", a headband, sunglasses and socks pulled up to your knees. Pull a radio out of a duffel bag and yell, "Who's ready to pump some iron?" Then hit play and play "The Eye of the Tiger" and do a pose down in front of a mirror. Then lift like 10 pounds 5 times and yell, "How you like me now? YEAH! YEAH! Feel the pain brother! Hulkamania's runnin' WIIIIILD!" and then walk out.

June1 0 7
06/09/2008 12:59 PM

If you're a guy, walk around downtown wearing beige khakis with a large, red blotch on the side of your crotch; do the same if you're a woman but make sure the stain is between your legs. Go in and out of stores, casually, and see how long it takes before someone alerts you.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/09/2008 01:28 PM

I dare you to adopt a cat from an animal shelter. Fill out the paperwork as Peter Kittykill.

During the interview, ask questions about testing makeup on animals and their threshold for pain. Deny vehemently that you would ever harm a hair on kitty's head and scoff at the implication.

Bonus points if you have a makeup kit and this picture fall out of your pocket during the interview.

Moe Blum 4 5
06/09/2008 01:53 PM

I dare you to go to a diner, order two eggs sunny side up, toast and bacon and eat the meal off of your exposed stomach (no plate).

Rupert Entwistle 74 5
06/09/2008 03:05 PM

I dare you to down a bag of dried cherries and a bottle of prune juice and then get on the "It's a Small World" boat ride at Disney World.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/09/2008 04:02 PM

I dare you to shut the Frost up and return the hedge clippers you borrowed two months ago.

Midgets 96,119 48
06/09/2008 04:03 PM

I dare you to have your Dogs spayed or neutered.

The Jerk 6,311 9
06/09/2008 04:35 PM

I dare you to take a dump in one of the display toilets at your local home improvement store.

Midgets 96,119 48
06/09/2008 04:37 PM

I dare you to come up with something that wasn't on Jackass.

Kung Fu SHPanda - Skadoosh! 181,795 70
06/09/2008 06:31 PM

I dare you to fill up your car with gasoline. All the way.

I do love pudding pops 1,379 9
06/09/2008 06:34 PM

Go into the stall of a public restroom with a fart noisemaker (electronic or natural if you can handle that) stashed in your pocket.

Begin a reinactment of a captain of a ship in some sort of a disastrous situation, using the fart noises as the primary instrument of the sound montage.

pffft R7? R7? Do you read? fbbt *weewooweewoo* WATCH OUT FOR THE SINKER!! FBBBBT FBBBBBBBBBBBBBT! WE'RE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO THAT MAN! fbbt. Damnit, Luitenant, why did you eat so many beans? FBBT OH MY GOD WE'RE HIT!!!


and so forth.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/09/2008 06:53 PM

I dare you to purchase:

1 - Maxim or Playboy Magazine
1 - 1 container of hand creme
1 - 1 box of tissues

*All must be purchased together with nothing else. Must have receipt.

Midgets 96,119 48
06/09/2008 07:06 PM

I dare you to find a male Gabber who hasn't bought all that plus a six pack and had a three year old in tow.

Thud 68,506 19
06/09/2008 07:07 PM

Jeeni, I think you're describing a normal Friday night for some Gabbers.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/09/2008 07:14 PM

...while dressed in drag?

Midgets 96,119 48
06/09/2008 07:15 PM

Saturday nite.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/09/2008 07:16 PM

damnit.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/09/2008 07:29 PM

I dare you to walk into a busy mall wearing a bright colored pair of Lycra pants with couple of potatoes stuffed down the front of 'em. Bonus points if you paint/embroider "zug.com" on the front or back of the pants.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/09/2008 08:19 PM

<action> has no original thoughts</action>
I dare you to walk into a busy mall wearing a bright colored pair of Lycra pants with couple of potatoes stuffed down the front of 'em. Bonus points if you paint/embroider "zug.com" on the front or back of the pants.

Jeeni, I think you're describing a normal Friday night for some Gabbers.

JazzyApples 0 4
06/09/2008 09:12 PM

I dare you to go to a busy downtown market area, dressed in a priest gown, and take along a wooden box to be used as a step stool and a book by a well-known person. Place the box down in the middle of a large crowd, stand up on it and proceed to preach about how the book will save you from whatever the book is about. Make sure to be shouting it out, not just talking calmly. Perhaps take a megaphone?

Thud 68,506 19
06/09/2008 09:14 PM

Priest gown? What kind of priests are you used to dealing with? Do they wear high heels, too? Did you meet them in a leather bar?

I hate to break it to you, but they may not really be clergymen.

Demonfire You 1,039 8
06/09/2008 10:43 PM

I dare you to impeach the president.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/09/2008 11:22 PM

I dare you to think for yourself!




























FAIL!

Thud 68,506 19
06/09/2008 11:31 PM

I dare you to sign up for one of the tours of the White House, show up in a wheelchair, then demand to have Dick Cheney push your chair during the tour.

Obese 3,430 7
06/09/2008 11:39 PM

I dare you too come to arizona and eat a case of tomatoes.

the Avenged 126 6
06/09/2008 11:41 PM

(I know its old, but screw you)

I dare you to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 06:14 AM

I dare you to put an "Osama 2008" sign on your lawn.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 06:18 AM

I dare you to go into the Apple store with a destroyed Mac IIe and try to return it.

When they won't take it back, cry, pee your pants, and take out a framed picture of Steve Jobs and scream "Whyyyyyy?" like that skater bitch did when she got kneecapped.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 06:22 AM

While we're on the peeing the pants kick, get a dozen or so people and go to South Station (Boston's smaller equivalent of Grand Central Station) with about a dozen people. At the same time, you all freeze.

After five minutes, when hopefully enough people are paying attention, you all pee yourselves.

After another two minutes, you all go about your business, except your business all involves interacting with people, like ordering a sammich, getting a train ticket, asking for directions, etc.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 06:24 AM

Get on the orange line (the Boston subway line that serves the poorest neighborhoods) during rush hour.

Hold on to one of the vertical poles. Very slowly, over the course of a minute, slide your hand down until it is touching someone else's.

As they move their hand away, you keep moving yours to touch theirs, even if they move their hand above yours.

Repeat until unable to.

Phuc 237,919 21
06/10/2008 06:28 AM

I dare you to go into a hotel lobby, large waiting room, Starbucks, or other such place with a bag of McDonalds food--a Shakespeareload of it. Five different kinds of burgers, four large fries, two milkshakes, and a chicken McNugget happy meal.

After stuffing a good quantity of food in your face, start choking, complete with exaggerated gestures.

When someone heimlichs you, horf out a huge wad of mostly-chewed Big Mac. Thank them profusely while panting, sweating, trying to offer the rescuer the happy meal as a reward, and making a scene.

Then start eating again, all the while proclaiming loudly what a hero that person was.

Buggley 28 5
06/10/2008 07:29 AM

I dare you to wear a baby outfit walk down the street holding a picture of your wife/girlfriend/transexual's breasts asking female passersby if they've seen them because you are hungry and need to eat. If they say no, ask if you can suck on theirs.

Buggley 28 5
06/10/2008 07:30 AM

I dare you to go in a gay fetish club and partake in a fisting session. You may give or receive, bonus points for receiving.

Buggley 28 5
06/10/2008 07:31 AM

I dare you to do something non sexual, perversive or remotely funny for a week.

Bill the Squirrel from the future 53,270 54
06/10/2008 09:29 AM

You win!

marei 51 5
06/10/2008 09:42 AM

I Dare You to hide among some rack of clothing in a store, and when someone starts shifting through the racks jump out, waving your arms eagerly and yell 'PICK ME PICK ME!!'

Shell Belle 77,143 25
06/10/2008 11:06 AM

Go through a fast-food drive through in an imaginary car. Draft someone to be your "passenger". Mime the actions of driving a car (steering, braking, rolling down window, turning down the radio). Make "vroom vroom" noises.

When the person at the window remarks about you not being in a car, pretend you don't know what they're talking about. Keep this up until they threaten to call the police. Then angrily tell them "This is ridiculous! We will never patronize this establishment again!" Roll up your imaginary window and drive away.

The Magnificently Fantastic Ravos 63,472 21
06/10/2008 11:14 AM

Walk up to people's houses with a plastic bag full of dog poop, and using a pooper-scooper, walk up to their front door, leave a turd there, ring the bell, and casually walk away, ignoring anything they yell at you.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/10/2008 11:32 AM

I dare you to crash a wedding with a hooker for hire (as opposed to the normal hooker you are going out with). Make sure you are extremely inappropriate throughout the affair (Hump on the dance floor, eat food off each other at the table etc...) Extra points for spilling red wine on the bride at any time during the evening.

Kung Fu SHPanda - Skadoosh! 181,795 70
06/10/2008 11:56 AM

I dare you to point out that this is John's way of getting prank ideas.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/10/2008 01:36 PM

I dare you to go to the mall wearing an M&Ms costume. Go to the candy store and buy several pounds of M&Ms. Walk outside the store, candy in hand, and start tossing it out of the bag by the handful, saying, "Run away, my brothers and sisters! You're free! You're finally free!" etCarrollil the security comes. Then put up a stink about slavery of your kind and such. Bonus points for actually getting arrested.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/10/2008 08:34 PM

I dare you to down a 2 liter of diet coke and a package of mentos, then duct tape your mouth closed.

Obese 3,430 7
06/10/2008 09:00 PM

I dare you too hand out tomatoes to homeless people asking for food.

Bonus points for them coming from a banned state or country.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/10/2008 09:22 PM

I dare you two too!

the Avenged 126 6
06/10/2008 10:26 PM

I dare you to go to a Hillary Convention, and in the middle of her speach, make a big scene shouting that you were her undercover-lover and asking why she wont return your calls anymore. bonus points for getting on stage with her and you'll be an immortal legend if you can get close enough to hump her leg..

Thud 68,506 19
06/10/2008 10:35 PM

I dare the Avenged to buy a clue calendar.

Chaos Llama 32 8
06/11/2008 04:22 AM

I dare you to dress up as Donut and walk into a busy police station. Then offer all the cops donuts.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/11/2008 09:05 AM

I dare YOU to dress up as Donut and walk into a busy police station. Then offer all the cops donuts oncoming traffic.
</obligatory>

Hallucinogenic Panda 2 5
06/11/2008 11:48 AM

I dare you to plug all orifices with any vegetables on hand in an attempt to make yourself air tight: bonus points for ferrets

PS screw you 'lurking law' if a wanna post a post

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/11/2008 01:08 PM

Note to n00b: we like grammar here.
And capitalization.
And punctuation in the right places.
And proper spelling.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/11/2008 01:10 PM

I made the same mistake not too long ago...

Chaos Llama 32 8
06/11/2008 01:54 PM

Mung, are you a police officer? I didn't imply that all cops are donut addicts ...

In fact there aren't very many fat police officers where i live.

Cranky 571 8
06/11/2008 02:25 PM

I dare you to order a meal at McDonalds, say "I'll eat it here" when they ask if it's to go and proceed to stand at the counter and eat the meal when it arrives. Extra points for actually eating the food.

I dare you to stand on a street corner with a box of kittens and wear a sign that says: "If I don't get $500.00 by the end of the day, I'll kill these cats."

I dare you to call 911 in a panic and tell them you saw dead bodies in a house and then give them the address for a local funeral home.

I dare you wear a big penis nose to a feminist rally and ask all the ugly ones to blow your nose.

I dare you to stand in front of an adult bookstore with a mop and wipe the doorway every time someone walks out.

I dare you insert a hard-core porno DVD into all of the demo computers at Best Buy.

I dare you to go to the local humane society in a chef's outfit holding a Chinese cookbook and ask to see all the plump kitties.

I dare you to have a huge meal, down a bottle of Ipecac and stand next to a trendy and crowded outdoor caf.

I dare you to go to a self-service gas station, put $1.00 worth of gas in your car, go in and pay for it. Then put another $1.00 worth of gas in your car and go in and pay for it. Repeat until someone kills you.

I dare you to stand across the street from a movie theater yelling out all of the spoilers for the movies showing.

I dare you to walk up to someone having a BBQ in the park and yell "I'm Bobby Flay. Are you ready for a throw down?" and start throwing your own meat on their grill.

I dare you to go to a Gallagher show and throw eggs at the nitwit on stage.

DemoMonkeys Heart is a Scorpion in Lucite. 166,252 10
06/11/2008 02:30 PM

I dare you to perform an action that, while not actually injurious or prosecutable, is still sufficiently outside the accepted norm of behaviour that it will cause consternation and uncertainty in those who observe it!




...
Or Frost a ham in the middle of a store.



...
Bonus points if it's a kosher deli.

Nex Vesica 5 4
06/11/2008 03:27 PM

Propose to someone random...bonus points if you get them to say yes, even more if you actually marry them.

rock lobster: bad for jews 18,570 33
06/11/2008 03:29 PM

Blue lep already did that and I already said yes. Lurk a little harder.

Marjod 1,942 9
06/11/2008 03:36 PM

I triple-dog-dare you to:

1. Get a fleshy, realistic looking, lady-friendly rubber phallus.

2. Stick the phallus in your pants, open your zipper and pull the artificial man-meat out, leaving ~1 inch inside your pants. (As to not have Mr. Phaly phall out).

3. Go to any public-type location.

4. Walk around, muttering to yourself about how freeing it is to have your package al fresco.

Extra credit: Rub that sum-bitch off like you're a 14 year old with a broadband connection.

Als als wik: Be a female.

YeOleSmurf 299 6
06/11/2008 07:16 PM

A little elaborate, but here:

Go into Dicks Last Resort with a friend pretending to be two deaf ganstas. If you need to sign, make sure it is believable, yet incomprehensible. If you write anything on paper to communicate, use Gansta talk, and graffiti it up! Have another 2 deaf "ganstas" from a rival crew come into the place and see if you can get kicked out of Dicks without saying a single word.

Or a less elaborate way of saying it would be: Get kicked out of Dicks Last Resort without saying a word.

Corduroy Jeens 47,792 51
06/11/2008 10:21 PM

I dare you to ride your bicycle down the center of main street, while playing a harmonica, accordion and a bass drum, while holding a sign that reads:

I don't know which I love more:
President Bush or my Hummer

Bonus points for:

1. Employing a kleptomaniac monkey that has a preference for keys and hot dogs.

2. Being the epitome of health & vigor by smoking and drinking.

3. Not getting arrested.

Chaos Llama 32 8
06/12/2008 12:53 AM

I dare you to go to the office of John's previous employer (Ziff Davis) and start a picket line out front petitioning for them to re-hire him.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/12/2008 01:09 AM

I dare you to create a legitimate-looking Sir John Hargrave for President of the United States of America website.

Bonus points if you send out press releases and announcements and manage to get some people to believe it. There will be no points deducted for them being stupid.

Triple bonus points if you actually raise some money that is later spent on a GABbers get-together.

YeOleSmurf 299 6
06/13/2008 12:00 AM

I dare you to Pink Sock your Girlfriend and do the explaining when the ER Doc asks what happen.

Snappahed 943 8
06/13/2008 02:31 AM

I dare you to go to Wallmart, wander around the shop and throw condoms into random peoples shopping carts.

The when they get to the check out and find them, ask if you can help them to test them out.

Bonus points if you do it in front of a biker.

marei 51 5
06/15/2008 07:06 AM

I Dare You to slowly approach a stranger, look around in a shifty manner, and whisper 'hey, hey... do you ever... get URGES'??

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/15/2008 08:19 AM

I dare you to go to the nearest STD clinic on its busiest day. Dress to impress and go around the waiting room looking for a date.

Hit on both guys and girls and try and violate personal space as much as possible. When the clinic staff ask if they can help you, just say "No, I just like meeting new people" and proceed to hit on them as well.

Bonus points for having a blistering cold sore on your lip when trolling.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/15/2008 08:02 PM

I dare you to go into a confessional booth. Tell the Priest you get off on confessing and usually climax when asked to give "Hail Mary" or "Our Father" penance. Tweak your nipples and beg for forgiveness.

manhole 21,656 29
06/15/2008 08:43 PM

I dare you to walk through airport security with a diaper on your head and a t-shirt that says derka derka jihad

manhole 21,656 29
06/15/2008 08:47 PM

I dare you to walk down main street in Compton at 3am on a Saturday with a hundred dollar bill taped to your forehead.

Murderstash 7 4
06/15/2008 08:50 PM

I dare you to walk through a maximum security prison in only a pink thong.

the Avenged 126 6
06/15/2008 09:32 PM

I dare you to lick Manhole's hole..

rock lobsterotica. weird. 18,570 33
07/08/2008 01:38 PM

I dare you all to realize the contest is over.

rock lobsterotica. weird. 18,570 33
07/08/2008 01:39 PM

<action> smacks herself in the face with a rat-trap.</action>

Why the hell did I bump this thread?

UnderThere, petting the sweaty things 101,398 77
07/08/2008 02:13 PM

I don't care how often you bump this, I'm not giving the money back.

Pram 80,728 42
07/08/2008 02:58 PM

I already spent mine on shoes.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
07/08/2008 03:01 PM

Well if you haven't used them you can take them back.

Pram 80,728 42
07/08/2008 03:04 PM

I've used them.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
07/08/2008 03:06 PM

Eeewwwwwwwwwww!

rock lobster : $20.01, due to inflation 18,570 33
07/29/2008 11:57 PM

I dare you to go to the mall wearing an M&Ms costume. Go to the candy store and buy several pounds of M&Ms. Walk outside the store, candy in hand, and start tossing it out of the bag by the handful, saying, "Run away, my brothers and sisters! You're free! You're finally free!" etCarrollil the security comes. Then put up a stink about slavery of your kind and such. Bonus points for actually getting arrested.

You know, just about a month ago, my little brother did this dare. I think he reads GAB. I will now have to smite him. Or send him cookies while he's in boot camp. Either way, he's going DOWN!