BillSalamie 67,057 13
06/24/2008 11:49 AM

The thread is pointless. There are no original thoughts here.

Shell sans Belle 77,143 25
06/24/2008 12:00 PM

It's still funnier than What's Happening, though.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
06/24/2008 12:03 PM

Shell I can't help but feel like I'm getting mixed signals from you.

rock lobster believes in teh toof faerie 18,570 33
06/24/2008 12:06 PM

Holy Shakespeare! A talking muffin!

Shell sans Belle 77,143 25
06/24/2008 12:08 PM

There's nothing funny about alcoholism, folks.

Vaguely Ravos 63,472 21
06/24/2008 12:14 PM

There's nothing something funny about alcoholism, folks.

Fixed!

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/24/2008 03:50 PM

I think I could take care of that for you with a fifth of whiskey and a hatchet. You might want to bring some alcohol for yourself, as well.

Pickle Sniffer - Now With Added Tanginess 1,586 6
06/24/2008 03:59 PM

My mom could beat off your dad.


oh, wait a second.....

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/24/2008 05:25 PM

Oh yeh, that reminds me. My mom says hi, she also says to tell you keep that needledick you have in your pants when you come around here (we've got all of our necessary shots).

Jepperoni 58,758 13
06/24/2008 06:16 PM

In the thread accompanying your recently published, and thoroughly plagiarized article, you stated that it was about time someone on this site recognized you. I decided to answer your desperate cry for attention, since your parents obviously saw no redeeming qualities in your character and chose not to.

According to your bio, you've been Gabbing since 2003, yet in two years have only managed to garner 50 clickies. That should be a resounding clue that NO ONE finds you even remotely amusing. It is probably because you lack even the slightest premise of originality and not even the anonymity provided by the internet can mask your spectacularly obvious social retardation. So, being the worthless wad of putrid pus that you are, you decided to open this website up to the risk of legal consequences by copying the work of a nationally reknown writer and submitting it as your own without acknowledging the creator of the article. I'm guessing you have the intellectual acumen of cranially savaged swine, so you probably had no idea that this is patently illegal and dangerous to this community. If you did know this and did it anyway, that would just make you a maliciously malcontented moron. Either way, you've become the first person on this board that I've come to actively detest and I just want you to know that I will be pointing you out as a fraud every time I see you post.

Go Frost yourself,

JepRep

Jepperoni 58,758 13
06/24/2008 06:17 PM

I HATE plagiarism.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/24/2008 06:19 PM

Do you need a hug?

Thud 68,506 19
06/24/2008 06:29 PM

...and you are?.....

syncope 49,019 14
06/24/2008 06:39 PM

This reminds me of a great Dave Barry bit...

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/24/2008 06:51 PM

That's like saying 'a soulful' KC and The Sunshine Band song.

RobertMaxwellPoduce 10 4
06/24/2008 07:00 PM

Did you tell them about the goat porn blog you write, too?

rock lobster reminds you to wear a seatbelt 18,570 33
06/24/2008 08:45 PM

I love you, Thud.

Thud 68,506 19
06/24/2008 09:26 PM

...it's pretty much constant isn't it?

rock lobster reminds you to wear a seatbelt 18,570 33
06/24/2008 10:05 PM

Holy crap!!

I must have had an extra scoop of sand in my vagina when I typed that.

I'm Phla. Random words. 131,068 34
06/24/2008 11:33 PM

Diddy mao, kids. Diddy mao.

Thud 68,506 19
06/24/2008 11:37 PM

Kermit is going to be soooooo tired.

Squ....... uh what was my name again? 53,270 54
06/25/2008 01:18 AM

*anything by frogpop

Vaguely Ravos 63,472 21
06/25/2008 08:26 AM

You're obviously not hanging around the right drunks.

Cinderblock- disappointed idealist. 27,578 25
06/25/2008 01:33 PM

Stop Pramming up this thread.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/25/2008 01:54 PM

I'm sorry to have to tell you this way, but my husband, Eric was killed early Friday morning in a traffic accident.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/25/2008 03:42 PM

Chickens always was wanting to see boobies.

I say for the greater good, all GABbettes show their boobies.

The Jerk 6,311 9
06/25/2008 05:45 PM

Chickens is dead?

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/25/2008 05:50 PM

<action>regrets it already</action>
Hey Mailman what about if I just polish yourknob?

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/25/2008 06:05 PM

"I jerked off in the punch at Gablanta IV."

The Jerk 6,311 9
06/25/2008 06:08 PM

"Ohhhhhhh Nana like, ooooooohhh Nana like, iss soo nice, Nana liike."

Thud 68,506 19
06/25/2008 06:13 PM

There aren't enough slutty heterosexual women here.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/25/2008 09:18 PM

Chickens is dead?

Yes. And his wife asked that, in lieu of gifts, boobie shots be sent to Chickens_Memorial@fancy-schmancy.com.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/25/2008 09:18 PM

Too soon?

rock lobster needs hot hot luvvin 18,570 33
06/25/2008 09:26 PM

I was ready to kill myself after about 30 seconds.

Squ....... uh what was my name again? 53,270 54
06/25/2008 09:39 PM

Go to central park. Strip naked and coat yourself in chunky peanut butter. Throw yourself to the squirrels.

The Jerk 6,311 9
06/26/2008 11:38 AM

End. In. Tears.

Vaguely Ravos 63,472 21
06/26/2008 12:30 PM

Delicious tears.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/26/2008 04:35 PM

What do you call a girl lobster?























Delicious!

rock lobster has laid an egg 18,570 33
06/26/2008 04:44 PM

Now in Kosher style, too!

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/26/2008 04:54 PM

"ANYBODY ELSE WANT A PICTURE OF IT? ANYBODY ELSE WANNA PRETEND THEY'RE A HOT CHICK AND DUPE ME? BETTER YET, WHY NOT JUST IM ME AND ASK FOR IT. I HATE YOU ALL!!!"

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/26/2008 05:13 PM

"Your neck is soft like my dead bird."

Pram 80,728 42
06/26/2008 05:20 PM

I'll wait till it hardens and chip it off with a chisel.

Squirrels on Crack 53,270 54
06/26/2008 06:49 PM

cuddle the doubters, Pram. I think it's awesome that you can do this. I don't have the patience or the imagination to do something like this. I envy you.

Thud 68,506 19
06/26/2008 06:59 PM

I wish you'd stop keeping me up all night with your non-stop hilarity.

Squ....... uh what was my name again? 53,270 54
06/26/2008 10:18 PM

I find this funny, because last night I slept perfectly. I even had weird, vivid dreams. At one point, I dreamed Olympic gymnasts (females, thank God) doing various gymnastic type things in my bed. Sometimes they were topless, too. Unfortunately, I slept so well that my alarm didn't wake me up and I ended delivering the newspapers about an hour late.

rock lobster has laid an egg 18,570 33
06/27/2008 07:03 PM

If this thread were a GABber it'd be rock lobster.

Squ....... uh what was my name again? 53,270 54
06/27/2008 11:00 PM

still nothing to see here people move along. PS, If I can get in and you can't you know you are retarded.

rock lobster has laid an egg 18,570 33
06/28/2008 10:33 AM

For future reference, I have decided to type everything I want to say into Microsoft Word, spell- and grammar-check it, and then copy and paste it into the text box on Gab, so as not to offend anyone anymore. I hope this clears things up.

DemoMonkey is a monster. RAWR! 166,252 10
06/28/2008 10:36 AM

I wasn't aware Microsoft Word could make things funny.

Though it does explain how Bill Gates manages to sell out every showing of his "White Collar Comedy Tour".

rock lobster has laid an egg 18,570 33
06/28/2008 01:27 PM

I wasn't aware Microsoft Word could make things funny.

Anything is funnier than me these days.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/28/2008 02:03 PM

That's kind of the joke he already made at your expense.

rock lobster hates you 18,570 33
06/28/2008 02:06 PM

I love it when you talk dirty to me.