The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
06/27/2008 12:02 PM

the cost of bus tickets for the Metro are going up .25 per ticket. NO WORD yet on whether or not the QUALITY OF SERVICE will match.

Do you also wonder if people filling up their cars are now getting better gas?

Pram 80,728 42
06/27/2008 12:02 PM

I said, "no, that's not bad service. Bad service is when someone takes a jolly peanut brittle and pretzel dump on a bench, and a week later- it's still there.

And ANOTHER thing: remember playing "heads or tails?" You'd find a penny on the sidewalk, and toss it. If it landed on heads, your day would be superstitiously greater, and if it landed on tails, you were Frosted.

NOW, if you find a penny on the sidewalk at all, consider the Good Luck Fairy to have queefed on you. I'm not kidding. The economy here in Oregon has gotten so bad, that in order to get a better job, you have to quit the one you're at- otherwise, they work ya to death and you have no energy to call in bench turds to the Bus cops. People who are suicidal here and have had a gun for awhile now, are going to have to wait until the economy gets better before they can blow their brains out- they can't afford the BULLETS!! No bullets for a head-BLAM gun. It's ridiculous, and people are resorting to killing themselves the old fashioned way: with heroin.

Pram 80,728 42
06/27/2008 12:06 PM

Metal spoons cost too much, so they're using plastic ones. This country sucks, and was too busy Frost-ing, Shakespeare-ing, and eating off of it to realize how Frosted the working class all are.

GrammarNazi 954 5
06/27/2008 12:29 PM

I can't believe you got so close to a stranger's turd that you could see what their last meal was. That's kinda gross.

brubert 763 11
06/27/2008 12:29 PM

I've got some bullets you can have.

Marginally Ravos 63,472 21
06/27/2008 12:35 PM

I can't believe you got so close to a stranger's turd that you could see what their last meal was. That's kinda gross.

Its Pram. Nothing should surprise you at this point.

Marginally Ravos 63,472 21
06/27/2008 12:36 PM

Pics or it didn't happen.

Pram 80,728 42
06/27/2008 12:45 PM

Pic:

By the time I got around to taking that picture, there were two turds on the bench.

Pram 80,728 42
06/27/2008 12:47 PM

<action></Cliff Yablonski>

BillSalamie 67,057 13
06/27/2008 12:48 PM

And when you sat down there were three.

Pram 80,728 42
06/27/2008 01:12 PM

I couldn't sit down, though, because of my fistula.

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 02:09 PM

This thread is almost as entertaining as those other GAB classics:

manhole complains about grass growing

Squirrelnuts bitches about chartered accountancy

JohnnySausage2K comprehensively discusses the complex subtexts of a Ken Burns documentary

Almost.

Phuc. Phuc of the Mountain. 237,919 21
06/27/2008 02:26 PM

I just wasted two minutes reading through this thread and I'm disgusted.

I don't want to read about Ken Burns on GAB again.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 02:30 PM

This thread is the comedy equivalent of firing 100 shotguns at a barn and missing.

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 02:39 PM

If this thread were a slutty blond rock chick, it'd be Courtney Love.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 05:35 PM

If this thread were a GABber it'd be rock lobster.

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 06:43 PM

If this thread were in Star Trek, it'd be Wesley Crusher.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 07:02 PM

If this thread were in Star Wars it'd be "Dead Ewok #5".

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 07:44 PM

If this thread were a state, it'd be Pennsyltucky.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 07:47 PM

If this thread were a country it'd be Frostisuckistan.

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 07:49 PM

If this thread were a John Travolta movie, it'd be Battlefield Earth.

Squ....... uh what was my name again? 53,270 54
06/27/2008 07:49 PM

If this thread was a thread it would be, "Pram rants about the economy".

Unleash Your Inner Zolton 88,205 34
06/27/2008 07:53 PM

If this thread were a Jackson, it'd be Marlon.

But if this thread were a Wayans, it'd be Shawn.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 08:05 PM

If this thread were a species of donkey it'd be a Venezuelan Tireless Suck Ass.

A Zolton in Springtime 88,205 34
06/27/2008 08:14 PM

If this thread were in Coldplay, it'd be all of them.

syncope also has a Dobro 49,019 14
06/27/2008 08:24 PM

If this thread were a band it'd be these guys.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/27/2008 09:35 PM

If this thread were in Modern Standard Arabic it would عنوان الن

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/28/2008 10:00 AM

If this thread were a woman, it would be your mother.

DemoMonkey is a monster. RAWR! 166,252 10
06/28/2008 10:25 AM

If this thread were your mother, it would be Britney Spears.

Pram 80,728 42
06/28/2008 11:37 AM

If this thread were a band it'd be these guys.

Hey, what band is that, The Botched Moonwalks?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/28/2008 12:17 PM

If this thread were Britney Spears, it would suck more. would suck less. couldn't suck more. might suck more or less, but it would be a LOT of sucking!


Damnit, when I joined Zug, I was specifically told that there would be no math.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/28/2008 01:29 PM

If this thread was a Britney Spears song, it would be Oops I Did It Again.

rock lobster hates you 18,570 33
06/28/2008 01:49 PM

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
06/28/2008 03:14 PM

If this thread were Shakespeare stuck on the side of the bowl, I would piss it down.

Pubah, In Mourning 56,813 18
06/30/2008 12:42 AM

Don't believe the hype!

They lied to us in 68 when they said only one person shot Kennedy (if you believe in majic bullets)...

They lied to us in 75 when they said we didn't have any oil (yet we're still pumping 30 years later)...

They lied to us in 90 when Daddy Bush said, "Read My Lips".

and they're lying to us now!

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
06/30/2008 12:53 AM

If this thread was a tire it would be flat.

BC Bud loves b(+)(+)bs 13,792 15
06/30/2008 12:54 AM

If this thread was a penis it wo uld be limp.