ZUG Live
Comedy ConversationMore phrases that need to go
Al Sleet
07/20/2008 01:12 AMOne of my favorite comedy bits is George Carlin's list of phrases that need to go (e.g. Bad hair day: Put on a hat and go to work you shallow Carroll).
So, here's a few more that should be added to the list:
"Straw man argument"
You pin-headed pundits need to stop trying to talk over the heads of the average Joe. In the interest of fairness, I think it's time to change this one to "Uninstantiated Object".
"Under the bus"
These Emersons are always talking about how some politician has "thrown one of his supporters under the bus" after he's distanced himself from some guy for suggesting that Black people like to hump chimps or some Frost-ing thing. They ought to throw the pundits under an 18-wheeler with transmission problems.
Ok, your turn.
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Phla is the Stig
07/20/2008 01:21 AM...did it just get awkward in here?
Overused by me in the past three hours. OF COURSE it's awkward in here, it's GAB, isn't it?
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Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
07/20/2008 01:33 AMI know the phrase will never go, but I have decided I'm going to punch the next person I hear saying "I couldn care less".
I'd also like to lose the phrase "it's always in the last place you look".
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Dogs Akimbo: still no rain
07/20/2008 01:37 AM"Is it in, yet?"
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I do love pudding pops
07/20/2008 02:00 AMmy boss keepShakespeare-ing me with the "you're fired" thing.
Ha-ha, alright "Donald Trump." Seriously, who even watches The Apprentice anymore?
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Anh is a dark, angry life insurance agent.
07/20/2008 02:07 AM"I just barfed in my mouth a little."
I hate liars who say this.
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Al Sleet
07/20/2008 02:43 AMI'd also like to lose the phrase "it's always in the last place you look".
Well, of course it's always in the last place that you look. Once you've found it there's really no point in continuing to look!
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Hammerhead - Sun Worshipper
07/20/2008 02:48 AM"In your own words...' people say that to you? You know, you hear it a lot in the classroom, or in a courtroom... they'll say to you 'Tell us... in your own words.' Do you have your own words? Hey, I'm usin' the ones everybody else has been using! Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say 'Nixch, flutch, blardy, quando, floo'!"
-- George Carlin
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Al Sleet
07/20/2008 06:03 PM"Carrying the Water"
When one of these pundits wants to insinuate that someone (usually another pundit) defends everything that a politician says or does (usually President Bush) they'll say that that person is "Carrying the water" for him.
C'mon. Really? "Carrying the water"? Why don't you come right out and say he's sucking his dick?
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Dr. Frasier Winslow Crane
07/20/2008 06:04 PM"hella" needs to go.
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Al Sleet
07/20/2008 06:12 PMI think "sweet" has also outlived its usefulness. When my seven-year-old step daughter uses it to in reference to something besides candy, it's clearly time to go.
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Prammer
07/20/2008 07:05 PM"What it is". Don't ASK me that. That's a statement, Frosto.
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GrammarNazi - Call Me Grammarista
07/20/2008 10:55 PMAnything that has to do with shifting paradigms or thinking out of the box. I may srsly hurt someone if I have to hear that again.
Another one that I've heard a lot of lately that needs to go is "Drinking the Kool-Aid."
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Millie
07/20/2008 10:59 PMI was going to mention the Kool-Aid one.
My sister told me that she was the only one at work who even knew the origin of that phrase. (And she is a newspaper editor.)
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Dr. Frasier Winslow Crane
07/20/2008 11:01 PM3 words:
"Where you at?"
That needs to go.
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Prammer
07/21/2008 12:49 AM"Can I axe you a question?"
No, you can hammer me one. (you would anyway).
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Al Sleet
07/21/2008 01:01 AM"I'd hit it"
With what? Bare fisted? Lead pipe?
Listen if your first thought upon meeting a member of the opposite sex is to do them violence, then perhaps you shouldn't be dating.
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Pubah In teh Morning
07/21/2008 01:28 AM"Off da chain"
"Nowaddahmsayin"
"Cut and run"
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I do love pudding pops
07/21/2008 02:17 AMdesperately attempts to sneakily save the joke she made over 24 hours ago
You see, it's funny because he was really trying to fire me.
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GrammarNazi - Call Me Grammarista
07/21/2008 04:08 AMThe words "like" and "you know" are the two most abused and misused words/phrases in the English language today. I just want to strangle anyone who uses them more than once in any sentence. I think a good dose of shock therapy - perhaps a car battery hooked to jumper cables clamped to nipples - would cure abusers of the English language from further misuse.
Alas, as most states would find that cruel and unusual punishment and brand me as a bad mother, the alternative is charging my son a nickel every time he uses the word "like" the wrong way.
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Phuc
07/21/2008 08:29 AM"Whuh'evuh. I do what a want."
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Phuc
07/21/2008 08:29 AM"Heeeeey Macarena!"
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Phuc
07/21/2008 08:29 AM"Nome sayn?"
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BillSalamie
07/21/2008 09:08 AMIt is what it is.
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Phuc
07/21/2008 11:07 AMBoston phrases that must die:
"So don't I!" ("Hey, Linder, I got the crabs!" "So don't I!")
"Drop a dime." ("I'll let you know when I get that half ounce, Joey." "Ya. Drop a dime.")
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KChikita - Same as in town
07/21/2008 12:31 PM"A'ight."
Please.
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Professor Nutbutter
07/21/2008 12:35 PM"Will the defendant please rise."
I hate that.
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Mung Champion
07/21/2008 01:03 PM"bra" has got to go.
And by bra I mean the bastardized version of "brother" and the over the shoulder bolder holder.
Free the twins ladies!
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BillSalamie
07/21/2008 01:15 PMNo one should ever say Bling ever again.
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Phuc
07/21/2008 01:17 PM"The twins" when referring to breasts.
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SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway
07/21/2008 01:30 PMSo be it, Al.
I'll take to calling mine Mary Kate & Ashley now.
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SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway
07/21/2008 01:34 PMI tell my son he's not allowed to agree with me by saying "I know, right?"
I second the "Brah" thing. Very douchebaggery.
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SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway
07/21/2008 01:45 PM
I'll call my little orbs up there The Twins, though.
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KellyKopp
07/21/2008 01:46 PMWOW! As I read this thread... I realize that if I were to stop saying these things I would be pretty dang close to a MUTE!! If I had a day where I didnt say "Hella" "Stoked" "Bra" Etc. I would be lost. And I live in Texas.... I know, weird. How about, "I gotta take a DooDaRoo"... is it just around here, or is that line everywhere?? Drives me insane... just go to the damn bathroom!!!
Thats all I got...
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Mung Champion
07/21/2008 01:46 PMI'll take to calling mine Mary Kate & Ashley now.
Good idea SHP, I'll call mine Abbey and Brittney
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Professor Nutbutter
07/21/2008 01:46 PM"The only child" when referring to a breast.
(I work in a cancer treatment center)
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SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway
07/21/2008 02:31 PMI'll take to calling mine Mary Kate & Ashley now.
Can I call my hoo-ha Heath Ledger, then?
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Dropkick Brody
07/21/2008 02:34 PMI don't know how common it is in the U.S, but over here people need to STOP saying 'At the end of the day..'
At the end of the day? At the end of the day you go to bed.
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Chances are.....
07/21/2008 02:34 PMIs your hooha decaying and maggot filled?
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Fezig - the other Mike Rowe
07/21/2008 02:35 PMI need some ointment - needs to go for single guys...
I have a headache - needs to be blow up and destroyed...
And finally What's up or whazzup needs to be flushed into the sewer of eternity.
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Gobbes - Calvin's Obscure Gay Buddy
07/21/2008 03:24 PMCan I, like, axe you guys a question? What's the big problem with all these sayings? Why do they have to, you know, go? It's like this, a'ight? You see a pretty girl somewhere while you be chillin' with your bras and your bling, you know, and it's not like you have a choice. If she's hot, you turn to your bras and you let them know you'd hit that, like, right now. In the middle of the street, over there by that there used condom and that previously owned heroine needle half filled with congealed blood and urine. It is what it is.
...
I just barfed in my mouth a little.
...
Did it just get awkward in here?
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Shelly Bell-ee
07/21/2008 03:56 PMI would personally like to shoot anyone who uses a number higher than 100 when talking about percents.
"I'm going to give it 150 percent!"
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Bang-A-Tard
07/21/2008 04:36 PMDude
Like so
Extreme
or any 1980's Valley-Girl or Surfer-Rat speak.
As in:
"Dude, that is like so extremely wicked"
or
"Dude, surf's up, grab the sticks and catch a gnarly wave bra"
"Totally tubular dude"
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SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway
07/21/2008 04:54 PMIs your hooha decaying and maggot filled?
No, but since my man left, it's little scruffier than looks good and is out of commission long before it's time.
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Pubah In teh Morning
07/22/2008 12:46 AMShows up at Pandas charred door, wearing nothing but a smile and screams
"TinnnnnnnnRoof
Rusted"
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Anh is a dark, angry life insurance agent.
07/22/2008 02:47 AM"Tour de force."
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syncope the sialagogic
07/22/2008 03:41 AMYou get a pass on "brah" if you're from Hawaii, because you live on a tiny speck in the middle of the Pacific and you've long since gone insane from cabin fever. Also, you're probably addicted to crystal meth.
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Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear
07/22/2008 03:50 AM"In your own words...' people say that to you?
Floo is a word now. Ask the kiwi twins.
I was going to mention the Kool-Aid one. My sister told me that she was the only one at work who even knew the origin of that phrase. (And she is a newspaper editor.)
Jonestown, right? Please, just because other people are stupid that's no reason to something something.
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Phuc
07/22/2008 10:12 AM"SoCo lime."
I heard a guy order that in a pub.
He was wearing a visor.
Wearing a visor = douchebag.
Wearing head-clothing indoors = douchebag
Ordering Southern Comfort with lime = douchebag
Calling said drink "SoCo lime" = douchebag
There is now a lake of vinegar and discharge where the pub used to be.
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BillSalamie
07/22/2008 10:18 AMWhy you hatin'? You're a hater.
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Slinky
07/22/2008 12:48 PM"Orbs of hilarity"
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KellyKopp
07/22/2008 01:27 PMThe more of this I read the more I KNOW you would all hate me... sigh... suicide is sounding good about now... I need another SoCO and Lime....
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Marginally Ravos
07/22/2008 01:28 PM"Yaaa meeee?" needs to be outlawed as well.
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Cromulent Embiggeners, Inc
07/22/2008 02:16 PM"Cromulent Embiggeners, Inc
I can go wherever you want me! On the floor, too.
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Al Sleet
07/22/2008 05:05 PM"Please", when used in a derogatory manner is another one that not only needs to go, but anyone using it needs to be beaten about the head with a large metal object.
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Millie
07/22/2008 08:32 PMOh, please.
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GrammarNazi
07/23/2008 12:29 AMPwn, pwned, pwnage = WTF? What does this even MEAN? Good lord, speak English.
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