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More phrases that need to go

Funny 3 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779218

Al Sleet

07/20/2008 01:12 AM

One of my favorite comedy bits is George Carlin's list of phrases that need to go (e.g. Bad hair day: Put on a hat and go to work you shallow Carroll).

So, here's a few more that should be added to the list:

"Straw man argument"

You pin-headed pundits need to stop trying to talk over the heads of the average Joe. In the interest of fairness, I think it's time to change this one to "Uninstantiated Object".

"Under the bus"

These Emersons are always talking about how some politician has "thrown one of his supporters under the bus" after he's distanced himself from some guy for suggesting that Black people like to hump chimps or some Frost-ing thing. They ought to throw the pundits under an 18-wheeler with transmission problems.

Ok, your turn.

  • Hilarious 8 votes 4.4 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779220

    Phla is the Stig

    07/20/2008 01:21 AM

    ...did it just get awkward in here?

    Overused by me in the past three hours. OF COURSE it's awkward in here, it's GAB, isn't it?

  • Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779221

    Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie

    07/20/2008 01:33 AM

    I know the phrase will never go, but I have decided I'm going to punch the next person I hear saying "I couldn care less".

    I'd also like to lose the phrase "it's always in the last place you look".

  • Chuckleworthy 4 votes 2.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779223

    I do love pudding pops

    07/20/2008 02:00 AM

    my boss keepShakespeare-ing me with the "you're fired" thing.

    Ha-ha, alright "Donald Trump." Seriously, who even watches The Apprentice anymore?

  • Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779227

    Al Sleet

    07/20/2008 02:43 AM

    I'd also like to lose the phrase "it's always in the last place you look".

    Well, of course it's always in the last place that you look. Once you've found it there's really no point in continuing to look!

  • Amusing 3 votes 1.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779230

    Hammerhead - Sun Worshipper

    07/20/2008 02:48 AM

    "In your own words...' people say that to you? You know, you hear it a lot in the classroom, or in a courtroom... they'll say to you 'Tell us... in your own words.' Do you have your own words? Hey, I'm usin' the ones everybody else has been using! Next time they tell you to say something in your own words, say 'Nixch, flutch, blardy, quando, floo'!"

    -- George Carlin

  • Amusing 2 votes 1.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779296

    Al Sleet

    07/20/2008 06:03 PM

    "Carrying the Water"

    When one of these pundits wants to insinuate that someone (usually another pundit) defends everything that a politician says or does (usually President Bush) they'll say that that person is "Carrying the water" for him.

    C'mon. Really? "Carrying the water"? Why don't you come right out and say he's sucking his dick?

  • Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779298

    Al Sleet

    07/20/2008 06:12 PM

    I think "sweet" has also outlived its usefulness. When my seven-year-old step daughter uses it to in reference to something besides candy, it's clearly time to go.

  • Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779301

    Prammer

    07/20/2008 07:05 PM

    "What it is". Don't ASK me that. That's a statement, Frosto.

  • Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779329

    GrammarNazi - Call Me Grammarista

    07/20/2008 10:55 PM

    Anything that has to do with shifting paradigms or thinking out of the box. I may srsly hurt someone if I have to hear that again.

    Another one that I've heard a lot of lately that needs to go is "Drinking the Kool-Aid."

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779330

    Millie

    07/20/2008 10:59 PM

    I was going to mention the Kool-Aid one.

    My sister told me that she was the only one at work who even knew the origin of that phrase. (And she is a newspaper editor.)

  • Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779331

    Dr. Frasier Winslow Crane

    07/20/2008 11:01 PM

    3 words:

    "Where you at?"

    That needs to go.

  • Hilarious 1 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779349

    Prammer

    07/21/2008 12:49 AM

    "Can I axe you a question?"

    No, you can hammer me one. (you would anyway).

  • Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779350

    Al Sleet

    07/21/2008 01:01 AM

    "I'd hit it"

    With what? Bare fisted? Lead pipe?

    Listen if your first thought upon meeting a member of the opposite sex is to do them violence, then perhaps you shouldn't be dating.

  • Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779351

    Pubah In teh Morning

    07/21/2008 01:28 AM

    "Off da chain"

    "Nowaddahmsayin"

    "Cut and run"

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779354

    I do love pudding pops

    07/21/2008 02:17 AM

    desperately attempts to sneakily save the joke she made over 24 hours ago

    You see, it's funny because he was really trying to fire me.

  • Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779357

    GrammarNazi - Call Me Grammarista

    07/21/2008 04:08 AM

    The words "like" and "you know" are the two most abused and misused words/phrases in the English language today. I just want to strangle anyone who uses them more than once in any sentence. I think a good dose of shock therapy - perhaps a car battery hooked to jumper cables clamped to nipples - would cure abusers of the English language from further misuse.

    Alas, as most states would find that cruel and unusual punishment and brand me as a bad mother, the alternative is charging my son a nickel every time he uses the word "like" the wrong way.

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779383

    Phuc

    07/21/2008 08:29 AM

    "Whuh'evuh. I do what a want."

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779384

    Phuc

    07/21/2008 08:29 AM

    "Heeeeey Macarena!"

  • Chuckleworthy 2 votes 2.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779385

    Phuc

    07/21/2008 08:29 AM

    "Nome sayn?"

  • Hilarious 3 votes 4.3 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779400

    BillSalamie

    07/21/2008 09:08 AM

    It is what it is.

  • Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779436

    Phuc

    07/21/2008 11:07 AM

    Boston phrases that must die:

    "So don't I!" ("Hey, Linder, I got the crabs!" "So don't I!")

    "Drop a dime." ("I'll let you know when I get that half ounce, Joey." "Ya. Drop a dime.")

  • Hilarious 14 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779458

    Professor Nutbutter

    07/21/2008 12:35 PM

    "Will the defendant please rise."

    I hate that.

  • Chuckleworthy 4 votes 2.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779461

    Mung Champion

    07/21/2008 01:03 PM

    "bra" has got to go.

    And by bra I mean the bastardized version of "brother" and the over the shoulder bolder holder.


    Free the twins ladies!

  • Hilarious 3 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779464

    BillSalamie

    07/21/2008 01:15 PM

    No one should ever say Bling ever again.

  • Side-splitting 3 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779465

    Phuc

    07/21/2008 01:17 PM

    "The twins" when referring to breasts.

  • Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779469

    SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway

    07/21/2008 01:34 PM

    I tell my son he's not allowed to agree with me by saying "I know, right?"

    I second the "Brah" thing. Very douchebaggery.

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779472

    KellyKopp

    07/21/2008 01:46 PM

    WOW! As I read this thread... I realize that if I were to stop saying these things I would be pretty dang close to a MUTE!! If I had a day where I didnt say "Hella" "Stoked" "Bra" Etc. I would be lost. And I live in Texas.... I know, weird. How about, "I gotta take a DooDaRoo"... is it just around here, or is that line everywhere?? Drives me insane... just go to the damn bathroom!!!
    Thats all I got...

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779473

    Mung Champion

    07/21/2008 01:46 PM

    I'll take to calling mine Mary Kate & Ashley now.

    Good idea SHP, I'll call mine Abbey and Brittney

  • Hilarious 8 votes 4.1 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779474

    Professor Nutbutter

    07/21/2008 01:46 PM

    "The only child" when referring to a breast.

    (I work in a cancer treatment center)

  • Side-splitting 6 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779493

    Dropkick Brody

    07/21/2008 02:34 PM

    I don't know how common it is in the U.S, but over here people need to STOP saying 'At the end of the day..'

    At the end of the day? At the end of the day you go to bed.

  • Hilarious 10 votes 4.6 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779494

    Chances are.....

    07/21/2008 02:34 PM

    Is your hooha decaying and maggot filled?

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779496

    Fezig - the other Mike Rowe

    07/21/2008 02:35 PM

    I need some ointment - needs to go for single guys...


    I have a headache - needs to be blow up and destroyed...


    And finally What's up or whazzup needs to be flushed into the sewer of eternity.

  • Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779515

    Gobbes - Calvin's Obscure Gay Buddy

    07/21/2008 03:24 PM

    Can I, like, axe you guys a question? What's the big problem with all these sayings? Why do they have to, you know, go? It's like this, a'ight? You see a pretty girl somewhere while you be chillin' with your bras and your bling, you know, and it's not like you have a choice. If she's hot, you turn to your bras and you let them know you'd hit that, like, right now. In the middle of the street, over there by that there used condom and that previously owned heroine needle half filled with congealed blood and urine. It is what it is.

    ...

    I just barfed in my mouth a little.

    ...



    Did it just get awkward in here?

  • Funny 6 votes 3.8 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779526

    Shelly Bell-ee

    07/21/2008 03:56 PM

    I would personally like to shoot anyone who uses a number higher than 100 when talking about percents.

    "I'm going to give it 150 percent!"

  • Side-splitting 3 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779556

    Bang-A-Tard

    07/21/2008 04:36 PM

    Dude
    Like so
    Extreme

    or any 1980's Valley-Girl or Surfer-Rat speak.

    As in:

    "Dude, that is like so extremely wicked"

    or

    "Dude, surf's up, grab the sticks and catch a gnarly wave bra"

    "Totally tubular dude"

  • Chuckleworthy 3 votes 2.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779568

    SHP: Drives on a parkway and parks in a driveway

    07/21/2008 04:54 PM

    Is your hooha decaying and maggot filled?

    No, but since my man left, it's little scruffier than looks good and is out of commission long before it's time.

  • Chuckleworthy 1 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779684

    Pubah In teh Morning

    07/22/2008 12:46 AM

    Shows up at Pandas charred door, wearing nothing but a smile and screams

    "TinnnnnnnnRoof

    Rusted"

  • Funny 1 votes 3.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779701

    syncope the sialagogic

    07/22/2008 03:41 AM

    You get a pass on "brah" if you're from Hawaii, because you live on a tiny speck in the middle of the Pacific and you've long since gone insane from cabin fever. Also, you're probably addicted to crystal meth.

  • Hilarious 2 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779702

    Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear

    07/22/2008 03:50 AM

    "In your own words...' people say that to you?

    Floo is a word now. Ask the kiwi twins.


    I was going to mention the Kool-Aid one. My sister told me that she was the only one at work who even knew the origin of that phrase. (And she is a newspaper editor.)

    Jonestown, right? Please, just because other people are stupid that's no reason to something something.

  • Hilarious 5 votes 4.2 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779755

    Phuc

    07/22/2008 10:12 AM

    "SoCo lime."

    I heard a guy order that in a pub.

    He was wearing a visor.

    Wearing a visor = douchebag.

    Wearing head-clothing indoors = douchebag

    Ordering Southern Comfort with lime = douchebag

    Calling said drink "SoCo lime" = douchebag

    There is now a lake of vinegar and discharge where the pub used to be.

  • Hilarious 3 votes 4.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779757

    BillSalamie

    07/22/2008 10:18 AM

    Why you hatin'? You're a hater.

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779773

    Slinky

    07/22/2008 12:48 PM

    "Orbs of hilarity"

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779785

    KellyKopp

    07/22/2008 01:27 PM

    The more of this I read the more I KNOW you would all hate me... sigh... suicide is sounding good about now... I need another SoCO and Lime....

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779786

    Marginally Ravos

    07/22/2008 01:28 PM

    "Yaaa meeee?" needs to be outlawed as well.

  •   0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779803

    Cromulent Embiggeners, Inc

    07/22/2008 02:16 PM

    "Cromulent Embiggeners, Inc

    I can go wherever you want me! On the floor, too.

  • Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779850

    Al Sleet

    07/22/2008 05:05 PM

    "Please", when used in a derogatory manner is another one that not only needs to go, but anyone using it needs to be beaten about the head with a large metal object.

  • Funny 3 votes 3.7 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1779950

    Millie

    07/22/2008 08:32 PM

    Oh, please.

  • Funny 2 votes 3.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1780103

    GrammarNazi

    07/23/2008 12:29 AM

    Pwn, pwned, pwnage = WTF? What does this even MEAN? Good lord, speak English.

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