Mrs. Bawk Ba Gawk 173,958 15
09/22/2008 02:58 PM

I suppose I'm telling you this story in case any of you were wondering why I had a window seat on the bus to Hell.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
09/22/2008 03:01 PM

What was with all that text after you told us about the 9 girls getting undressed?

SquidBoy 19,912 12
09/22/2008 03:02 PM

It was one of those camps where they group you together with 9 other girls and then put you in a cabin.

If only I could've been that lucky...

It can't be that healthy to see that many girls get undressed twice a day. The communal showers probably didn't help, either.

Says you...

couldn't remember the signs for the letters "F", "K" and "P". So my comments ended up being something like "You are a _uck_ing idiot".

Frostping?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
09/22/2008 03:04 PM

In my head, every once in a while she will stop and think back and wonder why you wanted her to lick Gary Bussy.

BC Bud 10% more stoned 13,792 15
09/22/2008 03:10 PM

I'm still not convinced it wasn't a brain-washing camp for lesbians.

Donk you lucky guy!!

BillSalamie 67,057 13
09/22/2008 03:12 PM

A friend of mine played high school basketball on a team with a deaf kid. He said the kid was the shooting guard and every time they got the ball, no matter where the were on the floor, the deaf kid would start screaming, "I'M da shoota! I'M DA SHOOTA! DIVE ME DA BAW!" over and over in that deaf people accent. Sometimes there would be like nobody in the crowd and all you could hear was the deaf kid screaming.

brubert 763 11
09/22/2008 04:45 PM

Didn't y'all know how to write things down?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
09/22/2008 05:01 PM

A random memory from my childhood.


I always thought, "I'm just a Bill too."

TomServo 3,759 7
09/23/2008 09:59 AM

You were that little deaf girl weren't you.... Its okay.... Let it all out

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
09/23/2008 03:40 PM

I was on an airplane back from Chicago a few years back, and the plane was chock full of deaf people. There must have been some kind of convention or some Shakespeare.

It was incredibly awkward and unnerving. One person grunting and emoting loudly at random is bad enough. Twenty to thirty of them in an enclosed space is torture. Bose doesn't make headphones strong enough to drown that Shakespeare out.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/23/2008 03:46 PM

I hold a grudge against all deaf people for something that happened during my childhood. A deaf kid prevented me from becoming an Eagle Scout.

Okay, it was really my own fault, but I blame this deaf kid, Robbie.

I stayed in Boy Scouts way longer than I should have, because even though I was stoner, I wanted to become an Eagle Scout. I wanted to go to West Point, and being an Eagle Scout looks really good on your application. Something like 2/3 of West Point cadets were Eagle Scouts.

So I was about 15 years old and trying to make the most of things by being a patrol leader and having all the kids who were drunks and stoners in my patrol. We would bring bottles of liquor and bags of weed to the campouts. Then this kid Robbie joined our troop. The scoutmaster asked me to have him in my patrol. The kid's father became an assistant scoutmaster, so he was around to interpret most of the time, but when he wasn't, this kid was just hanging around making weird noises and being annoying.

Just so you have a picture, he looked like Corey Haim in the movie Lukas. He had dirty, curly wild hair and black plastic framed Buddy Holly glasses (before Elvis Costello made them cool again). And he could not speak AT ALL, nor could he read lips. I didn't know what it was at the time, but looking back, I would bet the kid was autistic or had Asperger's syndrome.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/23/2008 03:46 PM

Long story short, we ditched this kid on a Saturday afternoon and were up in the wood smoking a joint when he found us. Naturally, he turned right around and ran to tell his father. When the dad confronted me, I told him it was only me, and that I was smoking a cigarette. He agreed not to take it any further if I'd agree to just resign from the troop.

As it turned out, I wasn't going to West Point or into the service at all because of my severely flat feet, and because I was way underweight at the time of my physical. Still, I blame that kid, and, by association, all deaf people.

So Frost you all in you stupid deaf asses, you deaf mother-Frosters!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/23/2008 03:48 PM

Blind people, on the other hand, are cool as Shakespeare. I had a blind drummer in my band for a couple of years, and he was awesome. He lived by himself with no dog or anything, carried and set up his own gear and was just as normal as can be. Lousy driver, though.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
09/23/2008 03:53 PM

A fife player once stepped on my toe in a line waiting to get into a movie. When I got to the window the movie was sold out. My toe hurt! Frost YOU FIFE PLAYERS!

Pram! 80,728 42
09/23/2008 03:54 PM

When I was a kid, my little brother smashed a plate over my head.

Then I fell out of my bunk bed and landed on my noggin.

Not long after that, I colored myself blue with a pen and tried to fly like superman. I flew into the hearth.

That's why I act the way I do. Head injuries.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
09/23/2008 05:01 PM

Hey, SR: I told him to step on your foot. And to buy up all the seats for the movie you wanted to see. Fife players stick together. You might say we're a loyal tribe.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
09/23/2008 06:30 PM

I read a short story once where a guy and his wife lived in a neighborhood with a deaf kid, and there was a "Deaf Child Area" sign on the street.
The deaf kid moved away and the county never removed the sign.
Then the wife in the story got pregnant. The night before her scheduled due date she made her husband go out and take down the "Deaf Child Area" sign and throw it in a ditch.

brubert 763 11
09/23/2008 06:36 PM

Whistler, I wish I knew you in real life. You have some good stories.

Oh! Bikini 62,262 18
09/23/2008 06:41 PM

I hold a grudge against all deaf people for something that happened during my childhood.



Whereas I think all deaf people are awesome because of one deaf person.

And that deaf person is Sue Thomas: F. B. Eye.

Chit 178,781 15
09/24/2008 02:00 AM

In high school we all shared a deaf friend named Rex. Rex was always looking to get high it seemed. (as were all the rest of us as well)

One night my folks were having a few other people over for dinner and we all ate in the dinning room instead of the little breakfast room table where we normally had dinner. The dining room happened to open up to the area that you entered when you came through our rarely used front door.
(most frequent visitors knew that we used the back door much more often than the front door.)

In the middle of dinner, the doorbell rang and one of my parents went to answer the door. It was Rex. In his most polite voice, (at least twice as loud as he needed to be) he asked if I was home.

My parent, (I forget which one) backed up from the front door and called me away from the table. "Jeff, Your friend Rex is here." (Like I didn't already know that) By the way, EVERY window in the dinning room looked out on the porch and Rex was in full view of everyone seated at the table who was now completely silent and listening to the conversation that was about to take place.

Chit 178,781 15
09/24/2008 02:01 AM

I answered the door..."Hey Rex, what's up? We're eating dinner."

Rex looked at me and shouted, "WANNA SMOKE JOINT THAI WEED? BUDDHA THAI WEED...WANNA SMOKE JOINT?"

For a guy who was normally difficult to understand, this was the most clear message he had ever delivered. I was mortified, but completely shielded by the open door and began waving my arms to let him know that THIS WAS NOT THE TIME!!

He missed the message completely..."I GOT JOINT THAI WEED!!"

By now, we were fooling nobody...I looked back and everyone at the table, especially my sister, and they were all laughing their ass off. I finally yelled at him..."COME BACK LATER DUDE!"

He left and we went back to our crab cioppino feast... and sure enough, Rex was invited in for desert when he returned a few hours later. however...I don't recall him ever getting to spark up that doobie though.

I haven't thought of that story in at least 20 years...

How the Frost do you think my folks ever knew that I was a stoner?

SHP 181,795 70
09/24/2008 03:13 PM

You know what I love about deaf people?
That we can still make fun of them here in America, and the only label we get it "Emerson."
I'm really very comfortable with that.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
09/24/2008 03:26 PM

Yeah, try that with some one in a wheelchair. I looked at the guy and said "tah.. lazy?"

The flood of yelling and cursing that followed me was epic. Lucky for me I could out run him up a flight of stairs.

deaf Robbie 211,594 32
09/24/2008 03:33 PM

So Frost you all in you stupid deaf asses, you deaf mother-Frosters!

What?