Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/05/2008 02:50 PM

I don't think there's a great shortage of non-sterile wire hangers, dear.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/05/2008 03:13 PM

The true spirit of teh GAB!!

BC Bud now with 10% more sunshine 13,792 15
10/05/2008 03:17 PM

<action>late as usual with advice</action>

always use condoms!!!!!

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/05/2008 03:20 PM

always use condoms!!!1!!



They make excellent (and different!) balloon animals.

Anh is here 11,158 14
10/05/2008 03:22 PM

Considering that I've been told since I was 19 that I am unable to get preggo

You know, you shouldn't believe everything your boyfriends say.

Marmite - ruining GAB since 2007 12,955 12
10/05/2008 03:28 PM

Pregnancy is what happens when your Emerson is too sore.....

Pram 80,728 42
10/05/2008 03:35 PM

I haven't told the dad yet.

Which one?


sorry.

Pram 80,728 42
10/05/2008 03:40 PM

Seriously, though, it really sucks that you're having a kid that you didn't plan for. </seriously>

Have you thought of any names yet? May I suggest, Unwanted? And if you have twins, you can name them Unwanted #1 and Unwanted #2. (the number designations are so that you don't confuse them when they get old enough to disobey you).

Nachos - Defining The Rapture 57,521 23
10/05/2008 03:46 PM

I'd suggest 'drain-filler'.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/05/2008 03:47 PM

You should be honored that the great pumpkin let you conceive. You should name the baby "Gobbie"

Pram 80,728 42
10/05/2008 03:56 PM

If the baby comes out funny, she can name it Adrian!

Papa Mung 35,891 35
10/05/2008 03:56 PM

<action>Changes his name and moves to Canada</action>Consider him told.



And good luck with all that!

Nightwing® 14,626 10
10/05/2008 04:51 PM

Congrats!
Taking care of a kid is a bit easier than a goldfish because of the fact that the kid will cry when it needs something.

Also unlike goldfish you should never leave a kid in water, if you think a goldfish belly up is depressing, a kid floating face down is even more depressing.

Jepperoni 58,758 13
10/05/2008 04:58 PM

I don't think there's a great shortage of non-sterile wire hangers, dear.

Reccomending abortion in the event of a surprise pregnancy is disgusting, vile, tasteless and just plain evil.

Except in this case, where it is actually fairly sound advice.

Spamurai Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2008 05:18 PM

This is awesome.

I'm tired of all these competent Gab parents.

A real clueless breeder could provide months of entertainment.

And remember: shake the baby.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/05/2008 06:14 PM

Words of wisdom

Just 1: Abortion.

Pram 80,728 42
10/05/2008 06:21 PM

I love you, Snork.

HP: The secret government Eggo Project! 58,948 29
10/05/2008 06:25 PM

Close your legs you filthy whore and you wouldn't have this problem. And why do you have to tell your Dad? Is it his?

HP: The secret government Eggo Project! 58,948 29
10/05/2008 06:25 PM

<action> Actually reads thread</action>

Oh. The Dad

HP: The secret government Eggo Project! 58,948 29
10/05/2008 06:26 PM

Also, Can I have it?

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/05/2008 06:32 PM

Condoms are nice because they prevent diseases as well as pregnancy. Even if you think you can't get pregnant, you would be well advised to use a condom so as not to get the AIDS.

But I'm sure Rocky and her baby daddy are in a serious, long-term, committed, monogamous relationship and have no reason to worry about VD or anything.

So, hey, congatulations! Don't worry about telling your man - I'll, sure he'll be thrilled and excited about the prospect of fatherhood.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/05/2008 06:35 PM

But I'm sure Rocky and her baby daddy are in a serious, long-term, committed, monogamous relationship and have no reason to worry about VD or anything.

So, hey, congatulations! Don't worry about telling your man - I'll, sure he'll be thrilled and excited about the prospect of fatherhood.

Bahahahaha!

The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/05/2008 06:48 PM

Disappointed.

Not one mention of how sad BlueLep is going to be.

Spamurai Snork 45,655 12
10/05/2008 06:49 PM

I love you, Snork.

I love me too.

Sometimes I love me too hard, though, and then it's a bit painful, what, with the callouses and all that.

Pram 80,728 42
10/05/2008 08:51 PM

I love you like a friend, dood

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/05/2008 08:55 PM

<action>backs slowly away from GAB, clutching uterus</action>

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/05/2008 09:10 PM

You giving up your place in line Cinder?

Pubah 56,813 18
10/05/2008 09:13 PM

Maury Povich could always use another DNA test subject.

Mrs. Bawk Ba Gawk 173,958 15
10/05/2008 09:33 PM

Considering that I've been told since I was 19 that I am unable to get preggo, I'm pretty much in shock right now.

You mean you've been pretending you couldn't get preggo since you were 19, hoping to get knocked up and trap whatever guy happens to be unlucky enough to shoot his swimmers in your flappy cooch?

Mrs. Bawk Ba Gawk 173,958 15
10/05/2008 09:33 PM

Don't deny it, Robster. We can smell our own.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
10/05/2008 09:40 PM

I do have the direct line to one of the producers of the Jerry Springer show.

And it could be titled "Comedic pregnancy, the story of Gab."









(They wanted a sword swallower for their too hot for tv special, but they went with the Pickled Brothers sideshow instead. That's why I got the number.)

Mrs. Bawk Ba Gawk 173,958 15
10/05/2008 09:43 PM

Jerry Springer's show is still on the air? I guess they just don't show it around here. But you can watch his lead bodyguard's show twice a day if you want.

Pubah 56,813 18
10/05/2008 09:47 PM

Cal Ripkin looks like Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve...

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/05/2008 09:52 PM

Even if you're told you're sterile, if you have a uterus and/or ovaries and you don't want to get knocked up, USE CONTRACEPTION. Sheesh. Stuff happens. Then again, contraception doesn't even work 100% of the time. Three methods of birth control failed my mother before she made my dad get snipped.

BC Bud now with 10% more sunshine 13,792 15
10/05/2008 09:57 PM

I haven't told the dad yet.

Which one?

Its Dad and her Dad. wouldn't that be the same person?

Hammerhead-less Horseman 59,399 14
10/05/2008 11:06 PM

Pregnancy, the ultimate STD.

Millie 116,988 28
10/05/2008 11:18 PM

Meh, don't worry about it. Usually when people post about a pregnancy on GAB this early in the game, they lose the baby or find out they're not pregnant, after all.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/05/2008 11:54 PM

Okay, update:

I told the boyfriend (the babydaddy) that I am about 97% sure I'm pregnant.

I have yet to tell my father (not the babydaddy) because it would break his heart.

I was told that I was unable to conceive when I contracted uterine cancer at the age of 19. They took out half my endometrium and about a quarter of the inner layer of my myometrium.

Now, that said, we normally use condoms, every time, except this one night when we were slightly intoxicated (read: ShakespeareFACED) and neither of us had one and we were too drunk to go to the store and he didn't quite pull out in time. That was about 4 and 1/2 weeks ago. Now there's a bun in the oven and I have to drop out of med school. Thanks for the support*.











*I know I'm an idiot for letting it happen in the first place, but most of you old Frosters can't say that's not how your wives got pregnant the first time, either.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/05/2008 11:55 PM

OH aaannnd I haven't told BlueLep either. [Insert snide comment / babydaddy joke here]

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/05/2008 11:59 PM

There's a simple solution to this.

Auction off the placenta on GAB and use the profits to pay for a nanny until you're done with med school.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 12:01 AM

Will you marry me?











We can sell the baby, but I'm not getting rid of my goldfish.

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/06/2008 12:05 AM

Will you marry me?

Only in Massachusetts and California.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 12:08 AM

Two weddings? Good thing my fambly's rich.

Midgets 96,123 48
10/06/2008 01:23 AM

Look on the bright side, you can totaly ignore the baby, dump it on your parents, blame it for all your problems, and use it as an excuse when you get fat.

It's WAY less irritating then the herp.























You don't have the herp too, do you?

Spamurai Snork 45,655 12
10/06/2008 02:11 AM

Remember how a couple days ago we had this "in five years I plan to" thread?

Guess what wasn't on your list.

Alpha Wolf 1,062 12
10/06/2008 03:53 AM

<action>plans ahead</action>

Rocky, I'll take care of all your problems AND show up at your house to pay you $200...

...if you promise to leave the child alone with me in a sink full of ranch dressing the night I come over.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/06/2008 07:36 AM

I got married in May of 1986. My first kid was born in October of 1989. So no, my first kid was not an alcohol induced accident.

My mother, on the other had, got knocked up during a drunken one night stand, and I was the result. So I can't point too many fingers.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/06/2008 07:42 AM

And don't rush to drop out of school. You can probably finish ou the year before the birth. Then you'll have the summer to figure out what kind of arrangwments you can make for the following year.

TomServo 3,759 7
10/06/2008 08:54 AM

Are you sure you are the mother?

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/06/2008 08:57 AM

*I know I'm an idiot for letting it happen in the first place, but most of you old Frosters can't say that's not how your wives got pregnant the first time, either.


My children were planned. Before we wanted to have kids she was on the pill and we used condoms, because neither is 100% effective. Now you need to decide what it is you want to do with your life. Dropping out of school shouldn't be an option though. If you are keeping the child how are you going to support it? With the crappy job you have now? If your parents are willing to help you that would be idea. If they are not I'm sure you could get some assistance of some sort to help you finish school.</serious>


I hope it's a girl, they're tastier than boys.

SquidBoy 19,912 12
10/06/2008 09:50 AM

If you're not ready for a baby, never ever have sex without a condom, or some other type of contraceptive.

Pulling out is not a contraceptive.

I'm married, but at the moment I do not want a baby, nor do I think I'm ready to be a father.

This is my nightstand. Fully prepared. Notice the gun? That's in case we do happen to run out of condoms, but my wife decides to try and rape me anyway, I can just shoot her.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 09:55 AM

Look on the bright side, you can totaly ignore the baby, dump it on your parents, blame it for all your problems, and use it as an excuse when you get fat.

Hey? Did you know my sister?

Ghostly Shell 77,143 25
10/06/2008 10:13 AM

I am scared excrementless

That would be a normal reaction in any situation. Both of my children were planned, but I was still scared Shakespeareless when the tests were positive.

Take a deep breath. You have lots of time to think about things and decide what you want. Motherhood is not the end of your life. Sure it will feel that way when you are sleep deprived and haven't had time to shower in two days and all of your friends are out partying and have pretty much forgotten you exist, but it really isn't.

Congratulations? And if you want to talk, e-mail in profile.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/06/2008 10:15 AM

Congratulations? And if you want to talk, e-mail in profile.

You guys can trade baby-recipes!

Ghostly Shell 77,143 25
10/06/2008 10:32 AM

You guys can trade baby-recipes!

I would never do that.


All of my recipes took years to perfect. I'm not about to share them.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/06/2008 10:34 AM

I hear using a nice marinade and some steak-spice does the trick. Well, if you're grillin' 'em.

KChiki is a Cheeky (but Scary!) Monkey 128,375 98
10/06/2008 10:42 AM

Rocky, I would email you but my webmail is having ishooz and won't let me log in.

Pram 80,728 42
10/06/2008 11:02 AM

and he didn't quite pull out in time.

that never works.

Besides, when guys drink, they can't stay hard (I know this from trying to Frost my first ugly girlfriend). So it takes extra long. Five hours later, dude has an orgasm, and you have an organism.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/06/2008 11:05 AM

and he didn't quite pull out in time.

You know, if you let him put it in your butt, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/06/2008 11:09 AM

On the bright side, you're young enough that when the kid's older you can try and sleep with all its male friends.

On the downside they'll hear you clapping when you walk so they'll probably run a mile.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 11:38 AM

I'm not Trae!!!11!!!1!!

Nachos 57,521 23
10/06/2008 11:41 AM

Remember how to spell 'Prolapse'. You might be needing to write it frequently.

SHP - waiting for the ladybugs 181,795 70
10/06/2008 11:54 AM

Now, that said, we normally use condoms, every time, except this one night when we were slightly intoxicated (read: ShakespeareFACED) and neither of us had one and we were too drunk to go to the store and he didn't quite pull out in time.
Oldest, lamest, and most useless excuse.If you are so sure you can't get pregnant, why are you using condoms? Oh! In case of STDs? And you know pulling out doesn't protect you against that, being a med student and all?
I absolutely loathe people who use "being really drunk" as an excuse to do something really stupid. Now you look like a dumbass and a drunk.

Now there's a bun in the oven and I have to drop out of med school. Thanks for the support*.

What the Frost did you really expect here? This is a comedy website, and in a situation like this, we can do one of two things: make fun of you for being happy about it, or make fun of you for being scared Shakespeareless. You see how we're going to make fun of you either way? Dumbass.

*but most of you old Frosters can't say that's not how your wives got pregnant the first time, either.

I'm not entirely sure what you're getting at here, but we MAY be a bunch of window licking mouth breathing miscreants, but I'd venture to guess that more often than not, our babies were planned because seriously, who is going to Frost a GABber without a condom if it's not ON PURPOSE.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 12:06 PM

I'd like to thank you for pulling all the attention of of me for being yelled at. I love you!

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 12:58 PM

SR,
That's just plain nasty.
Love, Robstah.


To the rest of the GABbers offering advice and support, thank you so very much. I really needed it. I have decided not to drop out of school, and I'm about 47% sure I'm going to keep it and make a really tastey stew in the summer.

5150 or the Canadian equivalent 1,692 7
10/06/2008 01:00 PM

<action> doesn't read thread</action>

A tasty stew?

Did you catch some kind of fowl?

Or has Pram been bad again?

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 01:09 PM

The stew is the result of the messy love stew that her man shot into her honey pot that was well lubed with alcohol... Now she's baking a meat wad she can place under the cabbage patch and... damn I'm hungry.

Anh is Undead! 11,158 14
10/06/2008 01:11 PM

Are you making good on your promise?

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 01:29 PM

Unfortunately me and the baby and the baby daddy are all of the non-mulatto type. but I will gladly offer the placenta.












I just threw up a little.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 01:32 PM

You know I should have said 'nut butter' instead of 'love stew.' but I didn't want to look like I was making a reference to the Professor. Like he was some how connected to knocking up the lobster. Because we all know how great butter is on lobster... I'll stop now.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 01:34 PM

I don't think Anh had quite that in mind when he said he wouldn't mind eating you.

Marmite - ruining GAB since 2007 12,955 12
10/06/2008 01:48 PM

This is my nightstand.

Extra Sensitive, huh? You stud.




And Lobstah - how the hell do you plan to keep it in there given that you already mentioned your missing a good proportion of important baby-cooking organs? I suppose you could always try a bung or some stitches?

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 03:15 PM

I will do whatever the doc tells me is best.

Dr. Babydaddy 27,937 12
10/06/2008 03:19 PM

Rip that sucker out of there, here use this hanger.

SHP - waiting for the ladybugs 181,795 70
10/06/2008 03:34 PM

Ooh! An abortion/wire hanger joke! How clever and timely!

Chit 178,781 15
10/06/2008 03:36 PM

There is always the Mr. Slinky strategy.


Throw yourself down a flight of stairs.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 03:40 PM

Abortion, I was just thinking about the whole Uterus, I mean that will fix your problem all together. No doubts about it.

Mung McManus 35,891 35
10/06/2008 05:45 PM

Hey, I didn't know EPT tested for Tapeworms?

May your first larvae be a masculine larvae.

L'chaim!

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 05:51 PM

Look on the bright side, you won't have a monthly for a while, and your sperm Donner can not bother to pull out all he wants now.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/06/2008 06:10 PM

Mung,
This is not the burrito baby we were discussing on YIM.
Love,
Lobstah

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/06/2008 06:16 PM

Mung, you are not authorized.

Change it.

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/06/2008 06:22 PM

Mung, you are not authorized.

Change it.

Keep it. There's a better than average chance you are related anyway.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 06:31 PM

Are you calling Whistler's mom a whore?

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/06/2008 06:32 PM

Actually, I think you just did.

Filly 39,193 20
10/06/2008 06:33 PM

Times like these make me wish the Darwin Awards were more common.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/06/2008 06:36 PM

You're right I did.

Hey Whistler! YOUR MOM LOVES THE Coleridge!

Mung Champ 35,891 35
10/06/2008 06:44 PM

Keep it. There's a better than average chance you are related anyway.

Probably not Thud, Back when Whistler was a kid, I think our people were required to sacrifice the first born.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/06/2008 06:46 PM

Besides, you don't think Whistler would have let him on the Ark do you.

Millie 116,988 28
10/06/2008 06:55 PM

Besides, when guys drink, they can't stay hard (I know this from trying to Frost my first ugly girlfriend). So it takes extra long. Five hours later, dude has an orgasm, and you have an organism.

Um, Pram, are you sure that it was the alcohol? What about the fact that she was not physically attractive to you?

Also, Lobster--I don't really understand why being pregnant now necessitates you dropping out of school. As Whistler pointed out, you could probably finish out the year before the baby is born.

And as I pointed out, it's still early in the game*, and as you pointed out, you had uterine cancer. I don't understand why you are making such a hasty decision about school.

Unless you are pretty sure you're going to flunk out, anyway, and leaving this soon will make certain you get back most of your tuition.




*50% of pregnancies end in the first trimester--for some of us, like me, it's 100%.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/06/2008 07:08 PM

Hey Whistler! YOUR MOM LOVES THE Coleridge!

At first I read that as "Your mom loves to cook!" and I was like "Oh, how pleasant."

Then I re-read it, and realized you are a HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING!

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/06/2008 10:33 PM

Trust me, you do not want to eat the cooking of Whistler's Ma.

Ilean is a lovely, lovable(!) woman, but she is a lousy cook.


Many Irish-American Catholic women are lousy cooks. Not all, but many.

Holy Jeens 47,792 51
10/06/2008 11:21 PM

for some reason, I imagine that Whistler's mom looks kind of homely, and enjoys wearing drab, funeral-like clothing and sits in a chair all day. I don't know why.

Holy Jeens 47,792 51
10/06/2008 11:32 PM

Oh, and congrats, Rock Lobstah. Sorry to hear you weren't aware of the Gab Preggo Theorem.

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/06/2008 11:40 PM

In case Bean asks, I never talked to you about getting pregnant.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/07/2008 01:06 AM

may your child have an excellent life.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/07/2008 04:28 AM

Update: I get morning sickness. From 8pm to 10am. What the Frost?

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/07/2008 04:45 AM

*50% of pregnancies end in the first trimester--for some of us, like me, it's 100%.


Millie:
Just because your uterus is non-functional (and you may or may not be slightly jealous) does not give you the right to piss in my Cheerios.

I've been told more than once my more than one doctor that I cannot even conceive, so getting pregnant, even if I lose it in a few days or weeks, is still a friggin' miracle as far as I'm concerned.

I have always wanted children, and this is a dream come true. I was terrified yesterday morning, but the longer I let it sink in, the more and more excited and overcome with joy I am.

I am going to stay in school, as the baby will only be about 6 months old when I graduate. I was just freaking out earlier. I won't have much of a relationship with him/her for a while but I can handle sacrifice early on to prevent struggle in later years. I would much rather not be around for the first few months of the child's life, when it won't remember me not being there anyway, to secure a financial future and freedom to spend more quality time with it when it really matters.

Can't you just be happy for someone else for once?

Love,
Rockie

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/07/2008 06:07 AM

Can't you just be happy for someone else once



Sure she can, just not for you.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/07/2008 08:12 AM

Millie:
Just because your uterus is non-functional (and you may or may not be slightly jealous) does not give you the right to piss in my Cheerios.

However the fact that you posted the results of your retarded mistake on a public website for all to comment on does.

I'm fairly sure that everything Millie posted came under the auspices of "Words of wisdom, beratement, and/or 'I told you so' ".

If you don't like it, perhaps you should consider keeping the news of any future accidents that result in you potentially spitting out a litter to yourself.

However feel free to post the problems that arise from those actions. Briham's Photoshop skills could use a workout.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
10/07/2008 08:24 AM

Oh and while we are at it, and since we know you put out and all. SUYT.


That is all.

Chris Garrett 86,932 12
10/07/2008 08:38 AM

I am SO archiving this page and sending it to your daughter/son in 18 years.

"Hey! Look! You were the result of a drunken-night of fingerbanging, leading to coitus, and the ONLY reason you're here, is that gas was $3.50 a gallon, PLUS we were too drunk and lazy to go buy a rubber!"

Stay away from the Clock Tower at the University of Texas in, say about, 2028.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/07/2008 09:34 AM

Wait a minute. This girl was in the Navy, if I remember right, a couple of months ago. Now she's going to be finished with medical school in 15 months? What kind of med school has a year and a half program?

Oh yeah, and my mother is not a whore. She never charged.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/07/2008 09:48 AM

Slut, whore, lets not split pubic hairs.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/07/2008 10:41 AM

Hey Lobster,

I found this new, "after you're pregnant" birth control pill and thought you might want it.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
10/07/2008 10:48 AM

Gah. I was about to post something moderately nice, but after that Millie bash, I'm just going to have to go back to hating you vigorously again.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/07/2008 10:57 AM

Rock Lobsters pregnancy is ruining Gab.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/07/2008 11:13 AM

I was on limited duty for about a year and a half while I was in the Navy, due to 2 knee surgeries and an assload of physical therapy. I went to school full-time (like 18 hours a semester)instead of three quarter-time like I had been(about 10 hours a semester) because I had nothing better to do than sit on my ass. Going to school and getting a Bachelor's in 3 years over my 3 1/2 year term was a big accomplishment. i knew I wanted to go to medical school, so I did everything I could to make sure I went before I got out. I also take on a full load during the summer semester (about 10-12 hours) because I'm trying to graduate a year early. I also work a full-time job.

I started med school this previous spring at full-time hours, and will continue until I finish in December of next year. I would rather go to school year-round and get it over with and done than be a student for 7 or 8 years like most people. I have maintained a 3.75 GPA so far, so I don't think I'm doing too bad. Say what you want, but anything is possible if you put your mind and heart into it. I will finish early, as planned, so that I can have a regular life as soon as possible.

Ghostly Shell 77,143 25
10/07/2008 11:22 AM

You're finishing medical school in a year and a half? Are you going to get your M.D.?

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 11:27 AM

Wow, all that work just for an M.D.? You can just order the certificate online for $5!

SHP - waiting for the ladybugs 181,795 70
10/07/2008 11:43 AM

Rockie,

You did not start of well with your attention whorring thread about your engagement to BlueLep. Nobody cared enough about you then to find it funny.
Now, you have a very over-inflated sense of entitlement when it comes to your place here on GAB.
I don't know who you think you are, but you have not been a member of this group long enough to say the types of things you say (perfect example is your hate on Millie) nor have you been here long enough to learn that anything, ANYTHING, you post here is going to be subject to ridicule and criticism.
You make it harder on yourself when you backtrack or try to explain yourself or get defensive or show that your feelings get hurt.
All in all, I would say that it is my own personal opinion (and not that of the GAB collective, because I only speak for me) that you need to shut up, sit back, calm down, grow up, and either learn to adapt to the manners and ways of this community or get the hell out.
I am personally sick of your Shakespeare.

SHP - waiting for the ladybugs 181,795 70
10/07/2008 11:50 AM

I'm a little bit ashamed of myself for that post, now that it's up there for the world to see. There's no humor in it, and it only served as an outlet for my frustration.
I apologize. Not for the content of the post, but for the context under which I posted it.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/07/2008 11:55 AM

You're finishing medical school in a year and a half? Are you going to get your M.D.?

I think it's more like a B.S.

Ghostly Shell 77,143 25
10/07/2008 12:04 PM

I think it's more like a B.S.

Something smells fishy. And it's not me.

Nachos 57,521 23
10/07/2008 12:08 PM

I will finish early, as planned, so that I can have a regular life as soon as possible.

Considerng the subject of this thread that'll be in about 20 years then.

Rock Lobster as a Maine Lobster for Halloween 18,570 33
10/07/2008 12:12 PM

I'm going to be a nurse practitioner until I can apply for a doctorate.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/07/2008 12:13 PM

You know you probably should just have jumped up and down after the sex. I heard that helps.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 12:20 PM

I like how she just totally pretended SHP doesn't exist, and carried on about her business.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 12:20 PM

And by like, I mean "I think it is interesting, and would like to see what ensues, if anything."

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
10/07/2008 12:27 PM

Slut, whore, lets not split pubic hairs.

There is actually a big difference between a slut and a whore.
A whore is someone who will have sex with anyone.
A slut is someone who will have sex with anyone but me.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 12:30 PM

Oh Mailman, how I missed your witty retorts.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 12:30 PM

Also, I don't get to use the word retort nearly enough.

Chit 178,781 15
10/07/2008 12:32 PM

Oops...sorry, nothing funny here either. I just logged in to click the hell out of SHP's post.

F R A N K E N P R A M 80,728 42
10/07/2008 12:47 PM

Um, Pram, are you sure that it was the alcohol? What about the fact that she was not physically attractive to you?

I still blew a load on her butt. *smiles*

F R A N K E N P R A M 80,728 42
10/07/2008 12:47 PM

Yeah, a load of MONEY.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
10/07/2008 12:53 PM

<action> knows what has to be said</action>

She had change for a penny?

The Mailman, as portrayed by Jacques Tati 176,464 56
10/07/2008 01:08 PM

You know you probably should just have jumped up and down after the sex. I heard that helps.

So does shooting Coca-Cola up your cooch.

Chit 178,781 15
10/07/2008 01:14 PM

Do you have any protection?


Diet Coke and a Mentos, baby! Right there in the nightstand drawer.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
10/07/2008 01:17 PM

Do you have any protection?


Sure do, I got a .38 and a knuckleduster in my waistcoat.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/07/2008 01:17 PM

They couldn't get Kerry to do the research on that for Mythbusters

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/07/2008 02:38 PM

I'm sure my mom would have sex with you, Mailman. My step brothers always said she did it with the milkman, and you guys have a much better benefits package.

Welcome back, you cheese-eating surrender monkey. I've missed you.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/07/2008 02:44 PM

Milk man
Pizza delivery boy
Mail man
Cable man

All typical guy jobs in bad porno.

Notice no one ever Frosts the poor plummer.

KChiki is a Cheeky (but Scary!) Monkey 128,375 98
10/07/2008 02:46 PM

I'd hit it.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/07/2008 03:39 PM

Hellz. Yes.

F R A N K E N P R A M 80,728 42
10/07/2008 05:46 PM

So does shooting Coca-Cola up your cooch.

Ooh, that would have been a great dare for Undies!

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
10/07/2008 06:35 PM

Ilean is a lovely, lovable(!) woman

with one leg shorter than the other.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/07/2008 06:47 PM

<action>groans</action>

Millie 116,988 28
10/07/2008 07:50 PM

O.K., so I have a question.

Since you said you thought you could never get pregnant and always used condoms, except this one time, why is it that you have taken pregnancy tests more than once?

As others have said, don't post your personal Shakespeare here and expect everyone to be all "Ohh, poor baby" because they won't.

If you want to take everything I say seriously and be insulted, fine. And, consequently, I will assume that you are also being serious when you insult me.

I'm happy for you if it's a dream come true. Of course, I have no way of knowing that because of the tone of your first post. If you want to post before thinking, don't blame me for the result.

Maverick Independent Chickens 286,580 61
10/07/2008 08:05 PM

I see Gab hasn't changed AT ALL.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/07/2008 08:07 PM

Chickens, you're alive......

SHP - disguised as a normal 181,795 70
10/07/2008 08:08 PM

Not at all. Millie STILL rocks.

The Hippy Priestess 58,948 29
10/07/2008 08:48 PM

I think everyone here has missed the point of this thread:

Can I have it?

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/07/2008 09:11 PM

Yes, once the mother has gotten all the tax benefits she wants.

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/07/2008 11:01 PM

I've had a couple of pregnancy tests, and there's no way I've ever been pregnant. However, you have to have them before any kind of surgery. I guess the nurses can't automatically believe a teenage girl who's saying they're a virgin in front of their parents.

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/07/2008 11:11 PM

Whatever you do, don't discuss the idea of pregnancy with me. If Bean's theory is right, your situation might result in us all looking for a star in the east.

Millie 116,988 28
10/07/2008 11:15 PM

I finally broke down and took a pregnancy test this morning... Usually when I do this, the result is negative and I start my period the next day.

I was referring to what she wrote here. I wasn't saying that the only reason a person would have a pregnacy test was because she is pregnant. I was saying that people who have no reason to believe they're pregnant don't usually test themselves.

And, yes, I was saying it to be a bitch. Because I hate it when people invite criticism and then don't want to take it.

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/07/2008 11:17 PM

I know, Millie. I was just on a tangent.

Oh, and you have the right to be a bitch. You have seniority 'round these here parts.

Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear 173,153 25
10/07/2008 11:31 PM

So you're getting a masters in nursing. That's a lot different than going to med school. Not that a master's is anything to be ashamed of (most gabbers are middle school dropouts) but that makes it all that much stranger that you'd spin the truth like you did.

Rene 1,810 11
10/08/2008 08:10 AM

Thanks Frogpop. I was waiting for someone to point that out more eloquently (and more hilariously) than I could.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/08/2008 08:35 AM

Not that a master's is anything to be ashamed of (most gabbers are middle school dropouts) but that makes it all that much stranger that you'd spin the truth like you did.

Does that make her a lipstick pig?

Maverick Independent Chickens 286,580 61
10/08/2008 10:29 AM

You know you could go away from this page and come back years later and get a quick update by asking:
1. Who's accidentally knocked up.
2. Who's the new Kenshin/Pram/Aussiegirl?
3. Is Chickens still dead?
4. Does search work?


That's it. Nothing else ever changes.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/08/2008 10:55 AM

I'm going to be a nurse practitioner until I can apply for a doctorate.

It's funny you say that, I'm going to be a Governor until I can run for President.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/08/2008 11:06 AM

I wish I still imp'd people because I could have had a lot of fun pretending I was Lobster.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
10/08/2008 11:14 AM

Wait, I'm confused. Have you heard that "Bird" is the word?

Dropkick Brody 43,090 12
10/08/2008 11:14 AM

<action>hears frantic scrolling up coming from people who are 'just checking' that Blaise didn't start this thread</action>

KChiki is a Cheeky (but Scary!) Monkey 128,375 98
10/08/2008 11:29 AM

4. Does search work?

That doesn't ever change either, Chix.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/08/2008 11:52 AM

Listen, Chix: lovers and friends come and go, kids grow up and move out, companies merge or fold, the weather is schizophrenic, the stock market dives and the price of gas soars. Be grateful for the steady, unchanging stream of cynicism, doubt, grief and failure that is GAB.

Maverick Independent Chickens 286,580 61
10/08/2008 06:31 PM

Amen.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/08/2008 06:38 PM

Wait I thought this thread was about Rock not being able to keep her knees together?

Alpha Wolf 1,062 12
10/08/2008 08:16 PM

I would like to cite the wisdom of Trae for "Alpha's Final Word" this week.

That having been said... a post about one's life-altering misfortune in not unprecedented, Your Honor. I refer to Exhibits A, & B.

Did Rocky overreact? Yep. Did she warrant some "Oh-no-she-di'ant!"? Some, yes. But the punishment seems to be going a bit farther than the crime, and most of the posts weren't even funny.

Alpha, she said she would accept any comments, then she went back on that promise!
Yep, I bet that's never happened here before.
So let's stop being funny and make piss-poor posts and threads about her! Clickies for the biggest rant!

Alpha, she's an attention whore.
So are half the people here.

Alpha, I'm a senior Gabber, so what I say goes/so I can (insert action here).
Anyone who includes "Because I'm older than you" in a serious rationalization is still too young to use it.

Your post isn't funny either, hypocrite.
I know what you are, but what am I?

Thud: The Devil's Moustache 68,506 19
10/08/2008 08:20 PM

Alpha, are you channeling Skippy?

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/08/2008 09:21 PM

Alpha, there's a serious difference here: Shelle was fully aware of the responses she was going to get, and she didn't take them so seriously.

Also, people like Shelle.

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/08/2008 09:25 PM

Sez you!

Millie 116,988 28
10/08/2008 11:52 PM

About a year ago, I posted about being pregnant, too. And then I posted about not being pregnant anymore. Some people were nice, some people made jokes, and some people were probably Emersons--I can't find the thread so I don't remember. (I actually tried to find it, but this search engine is literally useless.) I don't know how I reacted but I'm pretty sure I wasn't a douche to anyone.

Most of the time, things I say are not meant to be serious. They are not meant to be super-hilarious, either. If someone choses to take offense, so be it.

My later posts in this thread were not funny because I was irritated at being singled out and insulted. Maybe I should have had a thicker skin about it--whatever. Anyway, next time I'm a bitch to someone, I'll attempt to be funnier.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/09/2008 12:04 AM

Be a bitch to me Millie, I deserve it want to help you be you.

TomServo 3,759 7
10/09/2008 03:43 AM

Knock Knock
Whose there?
About...
About who?

About a year ago, I posted about being pregnant, too. And then I posted about not being pregnant anymore. Some people were nice, some people made jokes, and some people were probably scats--I can't find the thread so I don't remember. (I actually tried to find it, but this search engine is literally useless.) I don't know how I reacted but I'm pretty sure I wasn't a douche to anyone.

Most of the time, things I say are not meant to be serious. They are not meant to be super-hilarious, either. If someone choses to take offense, so be it.

My later posts in this thread were not funny because I was irritated at being singled out and insulted. Maybe I should have had a thicker skin about it--whatever. Anyway, next time I'm a bitch to someone, I'll attempt to be funnier.

Even in joke form, I am still not sure it works.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/09/2008 08:20 AM

Sez you!

Sez your mother!

I'm sorry, that was uncalled for.

Ghostly Shell 77,143 25
10/09/2008 08:24 AM

Sez you!

Does that mean you don't like me? And how the hell did I get dragged into all of this?

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/09/2008 08:44 AM

In Lobster's defense, she never really got very defensive about anything that was said and she never really lashed out at anyone for jokes made at her expense.
So if she and her meth smoking, tatted up, rotten tooth boyfriend want a baby, I say best of luck to her and I hope she puts it up for adoption.

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/09/2008 09:10 AM

I went to the doc yesterday for some preliminary testing and such. I'm six and a half weeks along, and the baby is anchored in a good part of my uterus, where all the pieces are there. I will have to go to the doc more often than most for prenatal visits because I'm missing a good part of my insides, but so ar she says eveything looks good.

I go back in 2 weeks for another checkup and then I go back in another 2 weeks, rinse and repeat. Once the baby gets bigger-around six months- I will go every week, and then twice a week if she feels I need to do so.

I broke the news to my family last night and everyone is being very supportive.

As for me, I'm taking a hiatus from GAB for a few months to aviod all the cynacism and negativity. Say what you want now, because I won't be here to read it.

Those of you that do want to keep up with how things are going along are free to e-mail me. I will also be on YIM most of the day every day.

This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by "Filmyfoam, the only contraceptive spermicide that works. Use Filmyfoam, avoid accidents. Filmyfoam. Get on with your life"

We now return you to our regularly scheduled funny.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/09/2008 09:15 AM

There's no regularly scheduled funny here. It drops in once and a while and then then leaves again.

Ravos as Mr.T 63,472 21
10/09/2008 09:17 AM

Zanzibar.

Chance-izz got yer candy right here mister. 171,275 14
10/10/2008 08:36 AM

Im just gonna keep this lil' gem in my bookmarks so every time she posts I can reference it.

Chance-izz got yer candy right here mister. 171,275 14
10/10/2008 08:36 AM

And thanks Ravos.

Whateva!

Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear 173,153 25
10/10/2008 09:16 AM

I went to the doc yesterday for some preliminary testing and such.

Is this a real doctor or just somebody you met at "medical school" that people call Doc as a nickname?

Chance-izz got yer candy right here mister. 171,275 14
10/10/2008 09:19 AM

Didnt we have a guy here we use to call Doc? Wonder how that worked out for him.

Ravos McRavosberg 63,472 21
10/10/2008 09:20 AM

He had a shirt that said "Trust me, I'm a professional", so I figured why not?

Crash Test Dracula 3,671 9
10/10/2008 09:22 AM

<action>nibbles a carrot</action>
Gneeeeh, what's up Doc?

Ravos McRavosberg 63,472 21
10/10/2008 09:24 AM

Not me.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/10/2008 09:28 AM

As for me, I'm taking a hiatus from GAB for a few months to aviod all the cynacism and negativity. Say what you want now, because I won't be here to read it.

A few months? Hell, in a few months this thread will probably be on the front page of the new Zug, right next to the "Dark side of furries" capcon.

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/10/2008 10:31 AM

I offered her a very cromulent piece of advice in my first post.


Oh, they seem to listen to my every word about fisting, but when I have some real advice, it's like they're singing "lalalalalaalalaa!"

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 10:40 AM

She's a real doctor.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
10/10/2008 10:46 AM

As for me, I'm taking a hiatus from GAB for a few months to aviod all the cynacism and negativity. Say what you want now, because I won't be here to read it.

Stuffed Lobster Tail
10/10/2008 10:40 am

She's a real doctor.


So much for the hiatus.

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/10/2008 10:51 AM

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Frogpop the Bad Idea Bear 173,153 25
10/10/2008 10:56 AM

She's a real doctor.

If she speaks tagalog, she's probably a Filipina. Doctor Rivero? I think you're seeing Doctor Nick's cousin.

Chance-izz got yer candy right here mister. 171,275 14
10/10/2008 11:10 AM

I knew she couldnt leave! Thanks for being predictable.

Ravos McRavosberg 63,472 21
10/10/2008 11:12 AM

I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/10/2008 11:18 AM

Starring in a gay porn doesn't count as being on TV.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/10/2008 11:22 AM

At least, that's what the SAG keeps telling me.

Dr. Angelina Rivero, MD 211,594 32
10/10/2008 11:43 AM

Thanks a lot for posting my personal information. Isn't there some rule against that?

Dogs Akimbo, M.D. 211,594 32
10/10/2008 11:44 AM

I'd be willing to take a look at that for you.

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 05:56 PM

Thanks for being predictable

Thanks for "putting me in my place" or whatever.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/10/2008 05:58 PM

on your back?

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 06:01 PM

Actually, I was on top....

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
10/10/2008 06:02 PM

Nope, she already been there.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
10/10/2008 06:08 PM

Good news!

Your parasite can't actually make you any dumber than you already are!

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/10/2008 06:09 PM

Damn... maybe I've been pregnant this whole time.

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 06:32 PM

Maybe you should shut the Frost up and stop ruining everyone else's "pay attention to me" threads. Start your own. If nobody posts in it, then kill yourself. Your self-loathing pity party is Frost-ing annoying.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/10/2008 06:35 PM

have you had a baby shower yet? i can have one ready in about two minutes.

Alpha Wolf 1,062 12
10/10/2008 06:36 PM

As for me, I'm taking a hiatus from GAB for a few months to aviod all the cynacism and negativity.

Hmmmmm...

Your Honor, I retract my previous defense. She's a thin-skinned n00bie-d00bie, and probably watches soap operas.

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 06:40 PM

I have thin skin due to a genetic flaw.


I'm sure all of you have flaws, too.










*Runs away, crying*

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/10/2008 06:41 PM

Pfft... you say that like I'm god's gift to egotistical. Flattery will get you everywhere. And I know you put out.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/10/2008 06:42 PM

careful, don't trip and fall on a dick.

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/10/2008 06:44 PM

SR:
















Love,
Rock Lobster



HBE:

Play nice or I'll use the studded leather whip next time.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/10/2008 06:47 PM

careful, don't trip and fall on ayour dick.

I try but it just so big.

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/10/2008 06:47 PM

i am nice. i make every post with a smile on my face.

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/10/2008 06:48 PM

How very reassurring!

hisboyelroy 10,621 13
10/10/2008 07:01 PM

i am such a meanie!

Chance-izz got yer candy right here mister. 171,275 14
10/10/2008 07:03 PM

Thanks for "putting me in my place" or whatever.

I dont think Ive said anything negative to you yet.

Stop being a Carroll.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
10/10/2008 08:25 PM

So, now that she is back, does that me we still gotta hold off on the dead baby jokes?

Declan McManus as Gabriel Conroy 131,887 36
10/10/2008 08:30 PM

Why should that stop us, T4?

Grab yer pitchfork!

Stuffed Lobster Tail 18,570 33
10/11/2008 10:17 AM

Stop being a Carroll.


I don't have to. I'm all hormonal and Shakespeare.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
10/11/2008 11:11 AM

Using that argument against any woman with children = fail.

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/11/2008 11:13 AM

That was a pretty short hiatus.

Squirrel Zombie 53,270 54
10/11/2008 11:37 AM

I don't have to. I'm all hormonal and Shakespeare.

Don't you mean A Whore moaning and Shakespeare?