BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/17/2008 01:32 PM

That man was...Gary Coleman. And now you know..the rest of the story.
Good day!

Sarah, back from the dead! 30,601 8
10/17/2008 01:38 PM

My two adoptive cousins are Inuit Indians from Alaska, and I NEVER heard that tall tale.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/17/2008 01:43 PM

Maybe nobody liked your cousins enough to tell them.

Sarah, back from the dead! 30,601 8
10/17/2008 01:44 PM

They can't help it that they were taken in by polar bears until we found them!

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
10/17/2008 01:51 PM

Wow that's some crazy Shakespeare.

Cinderblock is, like, super scary. 27,578 25
10/17/2008 01:54 PM

That is the greatest crock of Shakespeare story I've ever heard.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
10/17/2008 02:00 PM

I mean what kept that Shakespeare from melting while he butchered the hot body of the dog? Dose Shakespeare not melt as fast? I mean, I've heard lots of legends from my grandfather and from what I have read in books. They are out right magical, this one is like trying to be realistic and failing horribly. Also why would he leave his shelter into the cold night? Was that so he could freeze out where no one would see him?

peoriagrace 6,166 11
10/17/2008 02:00 PM

This story is from Wade Davis. The man who also brought you the zombie drug from Haiti.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
10/17/2008 02:05 PM

You know, Eskimos are as ugly as sin.

Slinky 28,185 10
10/17/2008 02:07 PM

That man was...


QuikSilverGirl's dad.

Slinky 28,185 10
10/17/2008 02:09 PM

I guess that needs a bit of a back story.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
10/17/2008 02:25 PM

I like the episode of The Simpsons with the Guatemalan insanity chillies better.

"Find your soul mate Homer, find your soul mate"

"Where? Where?"

"This is just your memory I cannot provide any new information."

Demonfire You 1,039 8
10/17/2008 04:10 PM

If you Shakespeare in your hand and let it freeze, you've frozen your hand, which I hear is not good for you.

Ravos McRavosberg 63,472 21
10/17/2008 08:49 PM

But not only is your hand frozen, your hand is frozen to a pile of frozen Shakespeare. That has gotta be at least 3x worse.

Trae - Boo! 156,790 17
10/17/2008 09:02 PM

I've heard lots of legends from my grandfather Chief PooPoo Feather.......


Fixed it.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/17/2008 09:29 PM

SR, you might not have heard this (in fact, not having heard it might be part of your problem), but this is a COMEDY message board.

Not a Native American cultural affairs board.

Not the bitter minority complaint department.

And definitely not a dating service for overgrown emo boys.

It's bad enough you Frost up all your own posts and threads. Leave other peoples' alone, okay.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/17/2008 09:35 PM

Getting back to the original topic:

This buddy of mine, Devan, had to be one of the craziest mother-Frosters of all time. No shame whatsoever. Imagine if you will a number of grungy-ass mother-Frosters living together in a Shakespearehole of a house where anything goes. Well at the time Devan was dating this chick Allie who is now the lead singer of our band, What she saw in him is beyond me, he was a great friend and taught me many things throughout the course of our friendship, but the things he would do....

This one day we're all at the house and him and Allie were involved in one of their many fights. Well, the tension was pretty high this particular time and we were all keeping our distance from the both of them. As Allie was about to leave in a huff, Devan exits the bathroom. I was outside enjoying what was a beautiful sunset. A moment of bliss, if you will. This was interrupted when the smell of Shakespeare crept into my nostrils. I look to the front door and Devan is, no Frost-ing joke, holding a medium-sized turd in his hands. He's got this detached borderline-sociopathic look in his eyes as he meticulously "carved" a small dip in the top end of his poop. With a twinkle in his eye he walks up to Allie's car, Shakespeare behind his back and motions for her to roll down her window. "Allie," he says and brings the turd around for her to see "poop canoe!" he says almost gleefully with a hint of childish satisfaction in his voice. To punctuate such an accomplishment he tosses the poop canoe in the air and catches it with both hands. Toss, catch, toss, catch. Allie, admitting defeat drives off and Devan, like an infant losing interest in a new toy, leaves the now infamous poop canoe behind and goes back inside.

Courtesy of an ancient post from the former GABber known as Manhattan Fever.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/17/2008 09:44 PM

Here's a link to the classic poop story thread that included Manny's story. Look for the work of a young, untainted John Hargrave.

Suicide Ranger is eating candy corn. 27,937 12
10/17/2008 10:06 PM

Yeah, well I had sex with your wife!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/17/2008 10:42 PM

Not possible.





My wife gives a spelling test first.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
10/18/2008 02:26 AM

Speaking of Eskimo vagina, you should read this this woman's work.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
10/18/2008 05:21 AM

Dogs, you are a strange and wonderful man.

coconub 0 0
10/18/2008 06:07 AM

If he makes knives out of poop, I cant imagine what he can do with his man gravy :o

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
10/18/2008 10:14 AM

Shucks.

Big Scary Eyeball Lobster 18,570 33
10/18/2008 10:27 AM

If he makes knives out of poop, I cant imagine what he can do with his man gravy :o

That might have been funnier like this:
If he makes knives out of poop, I can't imagine what he can do with his man gravy!

It's the Easter Jane, Charlie Brown 173,958 15
10/18/2008 11:25 AM

This buddy of mine, Devan a 6 foot black guys named Dequan, had to be one of the craziest mother-Frosters of all time.

That's how I'll always read that story now.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
10/18/2008 02:21 PM

Sarah; so since you know some Inuit people you must know all the stories and history of Inuit people?! Damn, lucky you!


SR the poop would not have to be attached to his hand: 1) His hand is warm because of blood circulation. 2) He also prpbably had calluses. This guy was an elder and new how to survive in the tundra.

As for killing the dog; he only needed to stab the jugular; to drain out the blood; then just start the skining because then you can just rip the skin off the dog with your hands. Tear the meat off with your hands. Yeah the poop knife might melt off and on; but you know so what it's his own poop. He was trying to escape from his stupid family; he did what could.



This is a great story of American independence. Why do you think the white man got sick of royal and goverenment rule? They were influenced by the Native peoples who were free.

Also some people really hate being trapped; or confined. You know claustrophobia probably wasn't as well known about back then.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
10/18/2008 07:33 PM

Spit freezes harder than poo.

Iknow you wanna have some too.


I can't stop rhyming cause I've read too much Dr. Seuss to my kids today too.

How about you.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
10/19/2008 11:07 AM

I've heard about a couple other stories where people froze their poo; to use as a tool. Trapped in an ice cave: poo shovel and trapped in a tent after a ice storm: poo axe.

Can anyone think of any other uses for frozen shaped poo?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
10/19/2008 11:12 AM

Two girls, one slurpee?

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
10/19/2008 11:44 AM

A frozen poo latrine?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
10/19/2008 01:31 PM

Can anyone think of any other uses for frozen shaped poo?

Dairy Queen in Wasilla, Alaska?

Mrs. Chance Robinson. 171,275 14
10/19/2008 01:33 PM

Poop canoe!

I am so disappointed in you peoples.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
10/19/2008 03:07 PM

Why were you looking for a poop chapeau?

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/24/2009 07:54 AM

I saw a calf with a cow pie barret once a long time ago.

Superdan 49 9
03/24/2009 10:41 AM

This is a combonation of Starwars and Scat porn

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/24/2009 03:34 PM

Superdan, you are very strange.

Lobster with Battery Acid Sauce 18,570 33
03/24/2009 03:58 PM

"The Greatest Story Ever Told"

No. No, it wasn't.

beachpimp 12 4
03/24/2009 04:26 PM

Ah, poo stories...A friend was obtaining carnal knowledge in the front passenger seat of his pristine ride, and when the moment arrived his date dumped a loose load in his lap and pants. He managed to get home carrying most of the offal  by using his shoelaces to tie the cuffs of his pants to his legs. He put all of his garments in a trash bag, took several showers, and left the bag in the laundry room. Mom discovered the bag, lost her breakfast,as did he when he tried to clean out the car. Dunno what happened to his date...she'd make a great secret weapon..

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/25/2009 01:07 AM

Yes it is Lobster; and so much better than any of yours.

Superdan 49 9
03/25/2009 01:40 AM

Superdan, you are very strange.

me strange? this si a story about killing a dog with poo!

Superdan 49 9
03/25/2009 01:53 AM

Can anyone think of any other uses for frozen shaped poo?

well not frozen i don't think, but it can be utilized to make dinemite which probably would be fantastic if anyone knew how to make it.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/26/2009 04:21 AM

He only killed with the poop knife to escape his crazy family.

Not for some kind of sexual gratifiction. Scat porn is bizzare and I don't want to know anymore about it than I do, thank you very much. Now stop trying to make me think of it. Aaaaaargh get the poos out of my head!!

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/14/2009 12:23 PM

Hey Pram; do you like it when shoes have stepped in poo or any other outdoor messes?