CRAZY COSTUME CONTEST: Grim Reaptard
A comedy article
by DinoExplosion  1,743  8
11/05/2008 12:12 AM 5171 views
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I was a finalist in the ZUG Crazy Costume Contest, where ZUG readers had to pick a wacky costume from BuyCostumes.com and something funny to do while wearing it. My idea was to don a Grim Reaper costume and stalk the hallways of the city medical center.
Now, It's not like I just woke up one morning and thought to myself, "You know who needs to be taken down a peg? All those sick and dying people at the hospital." I saw myself providing a service. Every Christmas, charitable fat guys dress up as Santa Claus and show up at community hospitals to spread cheer and happiness. They bring toys and candy, and occasionally elves. I'm like the horrific, silent Santa Claus, sent to remind people of their impending doom.
After making phone calls to several different people, I finally got my brother-in-law to agree to help with the prank. It's easy to act like an ass in a public place if you're wearing a mask, but it takes some nads to follow along and take pictures.
On the way to the hospital I began to get a little nervous. To be honest, I was almost hoping that they would stop us at the door, just so I wouldn't have to see the reaction to my imminent appalling behavior.
To my disappointment we walked right in without a second look. We hurried straight to the elevator, our heads down the whole way.
"Where should we go?" asked my increasingly giddy brother.
"Anywhere there won't be any kids." I said.
He punched up a button on the panel, and we went up quietly.
"Okay, where are we?" I asked, while trying to scratch my face through the sweaty mask. Before he could answer I read the sign: Oncology Unit. "You're a dick."
A short time was spent strategizing in the corner before we decided that the funniest option was to snap photos of me standing menacingly behind unsuspecting patients as they exited their rooms. There were opportunities for this because, occasionally, people would come out to exercise their legs by walking to the end of the corridor and back.
So, he headed down to the far end while I waited for a victim to wander on in between us. The classic "Grim Reaper on one side, chubby camera dude on the other side, sickly individual in the middle" sandwich maneuver.
Only about ten minutes went by before we had our first target. He was a middle-aged man with no discernable ailment. I nearly passed on approaching him, for two reasons. First, his room was directly across from the nurse's station. And second, even though he was wearing a hospital gown, he looked like he could beat me up.
I mustered my courage and tiptoed behind him. After giving a quick "Are you ready?" motion to my cameraman, I raised my arms high above my head and curled my fingers down toward the mark. I tried my hardest to make it look like I was about to take the guy straight to hell. As soon as the picture was captured I made a quick and calm retreat to my corner, and, surprisingly, he never seemed to notice my presence.
The next person to step into the hallway was an elderly woman with a walker. Although I had to pass in front of the nurse's station to reach her, I felt more confident. Emboldened by my first attempt, I strolled up behind the woman and did that "devil horns" thing with my fingers. I thought this was pretty funny, but it must have really struck a chord with my accomplice, because the Frost-ing idiot started to laugh really loudly. He closed his mouth and tried to hide his smile behind his hand but it was too late. The walker lady immediately turned my way to see what the Judas was laughing about. I could take her glare for only a second or two before spinning on my heel and heading back toward the elevator. But I didn't make it far because a nurse blocked my path and gave me a furious look.
"Excuse me, but you have to sign in if you're here to visit a patient," she said.
I stammered for a moment before I told her, "This is for Halloween."
"What's that?" she said. Apparently she couldn't hear me through the stupid mask.
"Nothing," I said as I made my way past her, feeling like the worst Grim Reaper ever.
I took the stairs back down to the main lobby, while Giggles took the elevator. I guess his laziness trumped his shame because the nurses glared at him as he waited for that door to open.
Although I longed for the comfort of my car, we decided to give it one more shot. This time we headed down to the cafeteria where the atmosphere would be much lighter. I didn't know what to do at first, so I just walked around waving to people. Then I began to walk behind people while mirroring everything they did. This was funny because most of them would catch on quickly and then not know what to do. The most common reaction was to laugh uncomfortably, then try to pull off my mask.
As our tomfoolery was just getting exciting, a nurse and a very angry-looking woman approached us. The angry woman, or "Hungry Hungry Hippo" as we called her the whole way home, informed us that she was a relative of one of the people we had photographed earlier. She said that she would sue us for taking those pictures. I could tell by her heavy breathing and bushy mustache that she meant business, so I apologized. (In light of her threat, I have chosen not to include photos of anyone from the hospital with this article, because I am a big Poe.) Once the humorless lady was satisfied, the nurse told us that we were violating patient privacy and we should leave immediately.
Needless to say, we left. During the drive home we wondered aloud to each other if we were the first two guys in history to be booted from a hospital for harassing cancer patients. Maybe next year I'll go to the pet store and stomp on puppies.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
10 votes
3.8
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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Dogs Akimbo 211,594  32
11/05/2008 01:51 AM
I gave you a two because the writing was amusing, but wasn't the agreement to take pics or video? Plus, you couldn't really dance to it.
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/05/2008 07:19 AM
This article was funny, but useless without video.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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The Jerk 6,311 9
11/05/2008 02:44 PM
Post the pics and blur out their faces.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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HeadTater 30 5
11/05/2008 04:53 PM
I'm pretty sure people with that crappy of a sense of humor would never waste their increadably dull time to visit something like Zug. Small chance of getting sued.
The story was good, but, without pictures it is doubtful that you actually, I don't know, did this stuff.
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0 votes
0.0
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Miss Trixxie 65,026 15
11/13/2008 10:36 AM
I can't believe you people were stupid enough to indulge John with criminal activities.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
11/13/2008 10:52 AM
That grim reaper has boobies!
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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BlueLep 13,144 10
11/13/2008 11:38 AM
First of all... Doesn't a Grim Reaper have a scythe? Why the Frost a knife? Might as well have an uzi.
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
11/13/2008 11:41 AM
Um, Trix?? We exposed ourselves in public 6yrs ago...for a stinkin' Tshirt.
At least they get money.
We got shafted (and not in the good way either).
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/13/2008 11:45 AM
We got shafted (and not in the good way either).
Guess I have to take that off the list of things I'll never see Trae say.
Always figured there wasn't any kind of shafting you didn't like.
Damn.
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
11/13/2008 11:48 AM
Well when it comes to you hotstuff, all bets are off.
RAWR!
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/13/2008 11:54 AM
Pshh...well, yeah, of course.
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Side-splitting
1 votes
5.0
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Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/13/2008 12:02 PM
Well, with Trae's post gone, that second post doesn't need to be around anymore.
Please to be deleting that one and this one?
kthxbye
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
11/13/2008 12:19 PM
Holy Crap...my post was supposed to be after Autras but it got mysteriously moved up.....I smell a bug in Zug.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/13/2008 12:22 PM
Damn. Trae continued the breaking of Zug.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/13/2008 12:48 PM
It's not a bug - it's deliberate. Posts within challenges and articles are moved around according to how many Zugz they have.
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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That's so Ravos 63,472 21
11/13/2008 12:49 PM
I figure I'm just going to start randomly orbing posts in these kind of threads just to confuse everyone.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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BillSalamie 67,057 13
11/13/2008 12:56 PM
I actually do that sometimes, Rav.
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