Recently I've noticed that I've got hairs growing out of my chin.  This is a new one for me, but a quick search on the internet tells me that it happens to 31-year-old women.  What I really don't want is to look like a wildebeast though - normal course of nature or not - so for the last few weeks, I've been shaving them off every time I shower.

I was talking to Chance the other day, and she started screaming at me, saying that I was going to grow a beard if I kept shaving, so I decided to try some products from my grocery store.  While I was looking, I noticed they had stuff for my vajayjay as well, so I picked up a bottle of  "Sally Hansen Brush-On Hair Remover for FACE" and some "Nair Hair Remover - Moisturizing BIKINI CREAM."  (I REALLY hate the contortions I have to go through in the shower, in order to keep my landing strip nice and neat, so I figured I'd give the a try.  Plus, it was scented - vanilla smoothie!)

Both had instructions that told me to slather the Shakespeare on, and wait 3 minutes.  So, I put the cream on my face first, and then did my cooter next.

When the time was up, I washed my face and as the water hit my chin, a burning sensation began to spread, and when I looked into the mirror, my chin was a bright red.  Horrified, I grabbed a washcloth and started removing the cream I had put on all over my crotch.

To shorten this up - my vagina feels like it's on fire.  I did this last night and it still Frost-ing hurts.  The worst part is that the hair on my chin is STILL there, and though the stuff on my stuff worked a little bit - it left some patches.

Beware this Shakespeare. 

Oh, and any ideas on removing unwanted hairs that don't involve a blowtorch?  I want my chin hairs to just be GONE.

Jaggylioness as Nancy Botwin 11,895 13
11/15/2008 04:16 PM

I had a mild 'staShakespeareried waxing and plucking it, but I'm a Poe when it comes to pain, So I used the burny cream. It stung all through the next day too. I also did my bits, and that's grown back when my 'stash hasn't. So i'm hoping the 'stash was the result of a temporary hormone fluctuation and wont come back.

God I'm sexy.

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
11/15/2008 04:25 PM

To shorten this up - my vagina feels like it's on fire

Um, yeah.  About that....

GrammarNazi 954 5
11/15/2008 04:25 PM

https://www.besttvbuys.com/getsmoothaway/index.asp?did=978&refcode=sm8

Sorry, new ZUG hates me.  I can't do the linky things anymore. 

I have NO idea whatsoever if this works, but I saw it on an informercial, so it must be good, right?  Good luck.

Keep us posted.  Stories about your particular vajayjay are very popular, I hear.

Jaggylioness as Nancy Botwin 11,895 13
11/15/2008 04:32 PM

I've also decided it's not worth it for my legs, quicker to shave and lasts about as long, since this Shakespeare just fries the hair so it's brittle enough to snap off about where you'd cut it anyway.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/15/2008 04:32 PM

Where's my secret santa at?  I'm not sure if I'd really want to rub that thing on my cooter though.

Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
11/15/2008 04:46 PM

Speaking from a 41yr old womans point of view, I too noticed the unwanted sprouts appearing on my face.  However, that being said, nothing is worse then finding your first grey PUBE.   (Hold back the vomit boys).

I only get the occasional chin cling, and I tweeze it out.  It lasts for months usually.  I've decided that I'm going to "treat" myself to laser hair removal this next year and get rid of it for good.

As far as your va-heeeee-na goes, I don't trust any chemical other then spermies near mine and rely mostly on nice hot water (to open the pores) by soaking the area with a washcloth.  Then apply a thick layer of sweet smelling raspberry shaving cream for women.... a nice sharp, new triple blade razor and lots of patience... and I'm smooth as silk for a week at least.

Sorry about the rash.  Hope it clears up soon.  Try putting PURE Aloe on it to soothe it.

SHP 181,795 70
11/15/2008 05:13 PM

For the burning on your vag, try some OTC hydrocortisone creme to sooth the swelling, and take some asprin.

For the chin hairs..... how the Frost would I know, Sasquatch? Tweezerman tweezers are about $20 and a 10x or 15x hand mirro is about $6.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
11/15/2008 07:14 PM

Did you mix up the two bottles? Use the vagina stuff on your face and the face stuff on your vagina?

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 08:05 PM

One doesn't go through life with Italian genes without learning how to remove hair.



Chin--pluck.  Get one of those 10x mirrors so you can catch the hairs before you can see them in a regular mirror and freak out.  I usually notice stray hairs when I look in the rear view mirror while I'm driving, then I can't stop thinking about them until I can get home and pluck them.  So now I have tweezers in my car.  I find plucking the chin hairs is rarely painful.



Upper lip--I wax and pluck in between waxes.  It hurts a little, but I'm used to it.  I check each morning for stray hairs and pluck them, then wax about once a month or when I notice too many to pluck.  SHP is correct--Tweezerman tweezers are the best.  None compare.  The blue ones are the best ones--the pink ones have bigger points.  The only place I've found them is CVS.



Vag area--meh, I'm old school so it's not much of a priority--whatever the bathing suit covers stays.  But I also wax that area, too.  Yes, it hurts, but not too bad.  Sometimes I shave, but it's too itchy growing back.

If I could afford it, I'd do laser.  I did it on the mustache about ten years ago, but I couldn't afford to do it again.  My sister had it done on her bikini area and pits a few years ago and hardly any hair has grown back.

Dianasaurus Rex 57,835 109
11/15/2008 08:24 PM

I am a big fan of plucking. I have one hair on my chin that grows out of a scar I got as a child. When I feel it start to come in I just pluck it again. It works for a few weeks, until it starts growing again.

Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
11/15/2008 08:24 PM

The Vag area only itches if you let it grow.  Shave it every other day and you can avoid that problem.  Also, the more you do it, and the older you get, the less it grows back.   You'll be a Granny No Cooch in no time!

SHP 181,795 70
11/15/2008 08:35 PM

Tweezerman tweezers are the best.  None compare.  The blue ones are the best ones--the pink ones have bigger points.  The only place I've found them is CVS.

I've never noticed a difference in the colors of them, ( I have black, pink, and purple ones, 'cause I replace them when I think they're lost) there are different types and I buy the slanted tip ones - they are so sharp and pinch so well that you can grab hairs that cheaper tweezers won't get.

Strangely enough, I buy all my Tweezerman products at Bed Bath & Beyond.  They have all type of the tweezers and other items. Before you get all wiggy about $20 tweezers, know that they offer free lifetime shapening, too! 

I don't have chin hairs or lip hairs, but my eyebrows are pretty pouffy. When I sit on the phone or at night while I watch TV I grab the magnification mirror and pluck. When you're distracted, the pain isn't as bad. Before you try it - this is NOT TRUE for pubies.

SHP 181,795 70
11/15/2008 08:39 PM

You'll be a Granny No Cooch in no time!

Listen to Trae. Nobody is more familiar with the cooter than Trae.

You know, 'cept for everyone else who's been there.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/15/2008 08:43 PM

I <3 Millie more than ever.  '70's-style bush is best.  All you Brazilian waxers and shavers look like a bunch of 3rd graders.  And I am no Oliver Chest.

Strangely Cromulent Bikini 62,262 18
11/15/2008 09:03 PM

Undies, about the burny creams, those things recommend doing a patch test first for a reason, eh?

I'm pretty unhairy, but I hate shaving so I wax, except on my pits I can never get the strips to pull off - if anyone does wax their pits, do you have tips? I try every six months or so, and end up having to slowly peel the strip off because it won't pull quick enough. I don't mind the pain of leg waxing (in fact, I don't find it painful at all) but it hurts like a mother-Froster when the strips don't come off in one smooth, quick motion. Ooh, I also love plucking my eyebrows. In the summer, when I'd finish plucking my eyebrows, I'd pluck my boyfriend's stray back hairs for fun because I love plucking. To be fair, he did not appreciate it very much, but he likes Frost-ing, so he put up with it.

SHP 181,795 70
11/15/2008 09:05 PM

This is an interesting editorial on pussies and hair. I don't know how to link on the new ZUG but I promise, the Degobah reference is worth it to paste the URL.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Af7WRru-WQ

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/15/2008 09:15 PM

For what it's worth, Mrs. Whistler's maternal grandparents came from Abruzzi, so every ten weeks or so she goes to the nice Philipino ladies who wax the mustache off her.  Our children have strict instructions to keep bringing her there after she's too senile to remember to go herself.  Painful memories of Grandma's goatee, I think.

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 09:16 PM

Yeah, Trae, but my problem is that I'm lazy and I only shave daily in the summer.  In the winter, I only shave above the knees when the mood strikes, which isn't often.



I don't have sex with men who have a problem with it.  Not worth my time.

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 09:22 PM

SHP--they have polka-dot ones!

http://www.tweezerman.com/scripts/category.cfm?gc=B&topmenu=1&submenu=1

According to their site, the pointed ones are all the same size.  But every time I've bought the pink ones, they don't seem as sharp as the white or blue.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/15/2008 09:23 PM

Undies, about the burny creams, those things recommend doing a patch test first for a reason, eh?

There was no warning about doing a patch test, and I was so happy about finding something that would work, that I never even stopped to think that a patch test might be a good idea!

Also, my oldest daughter used the face stuff first and was SO excited - she said it made her skin super smooth and kept telling me to touch her cheek.  She seriously would not shut up about it.  I told her to NOT tell me if she was happy with the vagina cream.

Apparently though, I'm the only one in our house who is sensitive to this stuff.  (I'm not sure if Dan's put it on his nads yet.)

SHP 181,795 70
11/15/2008 09:30 PM

I like the zebra stripey ones, too! 

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 09:42 PM

Spicey has zebra-striped 'nads?

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 10:25 PM

Undies, my kitty-cat and I made a present for you:

http://usera.ImageCave.com/rmilliken439/lolkabibe.JPG

Unfortunately, not only do I not know how to link anymore, but I don't know how to put images in posts.

Millie 116,988 28
11/15/2008 10:28 PM

I think Phuc must be the person who just gave me a fiver!

Your Favorite Jeens 47,795 51
11/15/2008 10:54 PM

Very well written & funny, but ouch, Undies!!

Welcome to the club, by the way.

[begins to chant "Gooble gobble, one of us! One of us! ONE OF US! Gooble gobble, one of us!"]

GrammarNazi 954 5
11/16/2008 07:00 AM

Millie, your kitties are byoootiful!

Spicey McHaggis 117,784 37
11/16/2008 08:14 AM

Spicey has zebra-striped 'nads?

Apparantly that's a side effect of the hair cream.

dinesh 24,862 16
11/16/2008 10:21 AM

this thread is most definitely not sexy.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/16/2008 10:23 AM

My chin is still really sensitive and hurty this morning, and the hairs feel all coarse and pointy.  I can't shave them because it HURTS!  Damn it.  I hope this stuff wears off soon.

3816 211,594 32
11/16/2008 10:35 AM

UnderWhere?: I've got hairs growing out of my chin.

Jaggylioness: I had a mild 'stash.

SHP: For the chin hairs.....

Millie: Chin--pluck...Upper lip--I wax

Dianasaurus Rex: I have one hair on my chin

** Puts his fingers into his ears and hums **

Next thing, you'll be telling me that those sounds coming from the bathroom are you and not the dog, that you don't like that sexual thing I do with my leg and a small potato, and that you don't like that story that I tell over and over again about the one time in high school when I caught a pass for a TD.

** hums louder **

Burnt again 30 5
11/16/2008 09:01 PM

Turn out that these creams aren't great on the man bits either... just for the record.

That's so Ravos 63,472 21
11/17/2008 09:39 AM

Yea, I also found that out the hard way.

GrammarNazi 954 5
11/17/2008 02:05 PM

Any of you other Poes manly men brave enough to admit you groom your bits, or you've tried and failed miserably?  You know you're out there.

Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/17/2008 02:16 PM

I trim.

After a while, making out with your wife and finding one of your pubes stuck in her teeth just kinda loses it's charm.

Marmite - 15/10/2008 when GAB was ruined 12,955 12
11/17/2008 03:58 PM

Did no-one tell you that shaving facial hair (on a chick) makes it look WORSE?  Because you blunt the end off it makes any that grow back look darker and more nasty-ass.

I have this really horrid thick black wiry hair that grows out of my chin, and I hate it.  It grows back so quick so I have to pluck it about once a week.  I find it has a bigger root than normal hair but it's so satisfying pulling that Shakespearebag out I almost, perversely, look forward to it growing back.  I may even name it.

As for legs, well suffice to say I loathe shaving them so am currently sporting the highly fashionable Yeti look.  My legs get so dry and itchy after shaving that until summer comes I like the extra warmth it provides.

Poontang?  Well again it's not exactly a kept garden there either.  More like unkempt overgrown and weed-riddled.  As and when I can bear the huge red rash and extreme itching, I'll get round to it.  Might need the hedge trimmer on it before I blunt all my Bics on that.  Failing that some Agent Orange would probably do the job.

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
11/17/2008 04:01 PM

I'm glad the rest of you have only 1 or 2 hair problems. I have to pluck, shave and tweeze EVERYTHING. I swear I must have more testosterone than estrogen sometimes.

Chin & Brows - definitely tweeze because there are only 2 or 3 and they're pretty easy to get. I use scissor-style tweezers from Walgreen's (not sure what brand but they're red handled).

Legs & Bikini - Shave, triple blade razor and shaving cream. If I'm in a hurry, just razor and water.

'Stache - I go to the Koreans and get it waxed. I also get my brows done while I'm there, but I don't make the trip just for them alone.

I also get fuzz on my cheeks every 6 months or so and I wax that at home, or on the trip to the Koreans.

Haha, and you all thought I was hot!

Delicious & British, it's Marmite! 12,955 12
11/17/2008 04:12 PM

I think your profile alias is wrong.  It should be Kchiki is as hairy as a monkey.

Must cost you a fortune all this hair removal?

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
11/17/2008 04:29 PM

That's why I do most of it myself. I go into the little Korean place and the lady waxing my lip keeps touching my face and saying "Yoo doo dees too?"

Bob Ross 43 7
11/17/2008 06:28 PM

I am a male and yes I do shave/ trim down there. I have to agree with the women, if you do it often enough and do it right ( sharp razor) the whole ingrown hair thing is no real prob. I tried to wax once. BAD STORY there. Shakespeare took like 3 weeks to finally get rid of.

helloclarice 17 10
11/17/2008 11:58 PM

Does anyone shave their arms?  A guy I used to date was into working out and shaved his arms because he thought it gave them more muscle definition.  I thought it was weird and creepy.

TomServo 3,759 7
11/18/2008 12:05 AM

To shorten this up - my vagina feels like it's on fire.

This must be the most elaborate story I have ever heard to cover up gonnorea.

Did Chance buy it?

Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/18/2008 07:45 AM

Does anyone shave their arms?

Well, I used too.

I'm not really sure why, since I've never really had any muscle definition, but it gave me an excuse for being in the shower for so long.

DAGGY 86,705 14
11/18/2008 08:15 AM

I too had a problem with a stray hair on my upper lip. At first I shaved it, that lasted about a week. Then when I hit my forties, I decided to let my eyesight degenerate. And do you know? Ever since that day I have not seen ONE stray hair on my face.

It's a miracle!

Ditdah 123,110 14
11/18/2008 08:22 AM

You people share entirely too much about your personal lives on the Internet.

TomServo 3,759 7
11/19/2008 08:46 AM

These are internet people

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/19/2008 08:56 AM

I let my pubes grow wild like the Lord intended, but at the beginning the summer pool season, I get my back waxed.  It saves on cleaning out the pool fiter.

TomServo 3,759 7
11/19/2008 09:04 AM

Also saves on rug money

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
11/19/2008 09:25 AM

Oh, I shave my arms too. Otherwise, they look like chimpanzee arms.

Still want to do me??

Autra is Still a Dude 10,560 11
11/19/2008 09:39 AM

Depends.

Is this a real offer or fake internet secks offer?

If I don't have to follow through, I'm all over it!

Sarah, now with Splenda! 30,601 8
11/19/2008 01:06 PM

This thread is giving me hairballs.

Hack..hack...

Delicious & British, it's Marmite! 12,955 12
11/19/2008 01:53 PM

*Goes to scrub herself with a nailbrush and Lysol*

Mung Champ 35,891 35
11/19/2008 02:06 PM

SUYHT!

Inspector 71 278 6
11/19/2008 05:17 PM

Only if you let it grow back...

Oh, I shave my arms too. Otherwise, they look like chimpanzee arms.

Still want to do me??

Inspector 71 278 6
11/19/2008 05:17 PM

WTF!

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/19/2008 05:35 PM

Women here seem to be willing to admit to all kinds of hair removal, but I'm still waiting for the confession of nipple hair plucking.  Come on ladies.

Bob Ross 43 7
11/19/2008 05:59 PM

Check please

helloclarice 17 10
11/19/2008 07:33 PM

Women here seem to be willing to admit to all kinds of hair removal, but I'm still waiting for the confession of nipple hair plucking.  Come on ladies.

I know I'm going to get totally punished for this one, but I do have to perform that ritual about every 6 weeks, a hair on each areola in the exact same spot.

DAGGY 86,705 14
11/20/2008 05:19 AM

FREAK!!!!!!!!

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
11/20/2008 07:23 AM

Ewwww! Frost-ing sasquatch!

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/20/2008 08:00 AM

Chance has my nipples in a jar.

Fratberry 283,028 53
11/20/2008 08:23 AM

Yeah, well I have your nipples in my heart.

Fratberry 283,028 53
11/20/2008 08:23 AM

Which is also in a jar.

Barefoot Chance 171,275 14
11/20/2008 08:35 AM

The Spicey Household

[ ] Undies Sliver

[x] Meatcake MEATCAKE!

[ ] Spicey's Optimus Prime Voice-Changing Helmet

[X] Undies' Nipples in a jar

[x] Spicey's Basket-O-Vibrators.

Im collecting the set.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
11/20/2008 11:43 AM

I'm surprised you don't have the sliver yet. - it's not that rare.

dangerousbeans 1,172 6
11/20/2008 03:52 PM

My girlfriend was using Nair to do her cooch and I was sick of shaving (You girls think a vajajay is hard to shave, try getting around and under the nutters) so I tried some Nair, under HER direction.  Well I walked funny for a about three days and I have a permanently wrinkly bald spot on the berries.  God that hurt soooo much.

orangecorsawus 66 7
12/17/2008 03:56 PM

If you got da money and got da balls, get electrolysis - it hurts like a bastard at the time but hey you can throw away those razors and foul smelling creams and say hi  to a smooth cootchie.

reindeerfart 4,871 6
12/17/2008 04:01 PM

you stupid Frost, how can you have any balls and have a smooth "coochie" at the same time? 

"thank god i have a huge rack, otherwise i might not have had the courage to shave my nuts"

does that Shakespeare make any sense?