The challenge is simple:  recount the worst dish that you've been served at the Thanksgiving table.  This could be a dish that was cooked badly, a terrible combination of ingredients, or simply an awkward or painful meal.  Recreate the recipe, to the best of your ability, as if you were writing a Thanksgiving cookbook ... in hell.

For instance:

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE

1 package frozen green beans

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 container french-fried onions

Dash of hate

Mix together green beans and mushroom soup. Heat in lukewarm oven until tepid. Mash fried onions onto the top with the palm of your filthy hand. Serve with loathing.

Warning: This dish will explode if placed near fresh vegetables!  For maximum enjoyment, drench with gravy.

SHP 181,795 70
11/24/2008 10:32 PM

My brother in law beat up my sister one year on Thanksgiving day.  The bite of blood in one's mouth really makes gravy taste nasty.

Millie 116,988 28
11/24/2008 11:08 PM

I can't think of one.  But then, I'll eat just about anything, as long as I don't have to cook it.

Spicey Pram's Lobster Taco Undies 80,728 42
11/24/2008 11:13 PM

Your own brain.

That's so Ravos 63,472 21
11/25/2008 08:14 AM

My aunt once made this retarded Lasagna. It had celery, carrots, corn, and peas in it. And bologna. It was pretty nasty if I do say so myself.

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
11/25/2008 09:08 AM

It was probably that big plate of tears the year daddy left us.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
11/25/2008 09:20 AM

KEITH OLBERMAN TURKEY

Butter and gently season left breast

Gently massage dark meat and exclaim how juicy and wonderful it is as you excitedly inject it with your man made salty brine.

Carve right breast and decry its bitterness

Serve with Smug Satisfaction Gravy and Delisions of Impartiality Cranberry Sauce

Nap after dinner because you now have nothing left to talk about.

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
11/25/2008 09:28 AM

My mom's turkey. It's so dry, I have to pour about 2 cups of gravy on one piece. Her mashed potaotes, they are creamy... like cream of wheat. I mean what's the point of having real potatoes if you're going to make them runny like that? Stuffing's good. She's not the best cook, but won't let me cook even though I'm a much better cook. Her food is so bland. The only thing I'm allowed to make is the green bean casserole because I'm the only one who eats it. Her gravy is even bland I have to add a whole bunch of salt to it.

I'm not doing anything to help her cook this year. I'm tired of her crap. One year she said I can do the turkey and she told me that she starts it at 6:30 am. So I set my alarm to 6:15 am and she set her alarm to 5:50 am just so she can say "Oh I got up early so I decided to start". If I could afford to move out, I totally would, she pulls this crap all the time...

Luckily, my boyfriend's mom made an early Thanksgiving dinner because she's working that day and my boyfriend will bring me some so I don't feel left out of having decent food.

Mung Champ 35,891 35
11/25/2008 10:06 AM

Blumpkin Pumpkin! 

I am in the right thread, right? 

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
11/25/2008 10:39 AM

Danielle, are you one of my sisters?

Bill T. Squirrel 53,270 54
11/25/2008 10:42 AM

OMG Salad

NGR3DEINTS

1 CAN (20 OUNCE) CRUSHED PIENAPLE DRANE3D

1 CAN (16 OUNC3S) WHOLA CRANBRY SAUC3

1 CUP DAREY SOUR CREM

1/4 CUP P3CANS COARSALEY CHOPED

1 GLOK 9M

PRAPARATION

COMBIEN AL NGREDEINTS SPON IN2 AN 8-INCH R PAN

FREZ3!11!!!!!1 WTF LOL FOR SEVERAL HOURS OR OVERNIGHT

2!1111111 SERV3 CUT IN SQUAERS OR SLIECS AND ARANGE ON SALAD GRENS

OMG!11!!!!!!!1 SALAD S3RVES 8!111!1

7 IF U SHOT U IN TEH HAAD WIT DA GLOK

Bonky 75,733 15
11/25/2008 10:45 AM

A bowl of dick.

They weren't fresh picked.

chicken nipples 2,207 7
11/25/2008 11:59 AM

Stufficide

1 Box Stove Top Stuffing

2 Cups Chopped Walnuts

2 Cups Raisins

1 Razor to slit your wrists after eating the worst meal of your life(so far)

Penis

Phuc 237,919 21
11/25/2008 12:16 PM

CRAPPLE

1/2 cup bottled salad dressing

1 tsp Za Rex (blue)

8 slices Wonder Bread bread-like food product

1 can Chef Boyardee

1 Kraft dinner

Put on Linkin Park's latest album, stir together ingredients in a glass bowl. When well-blended, discard ingredients.

Eat glass bowl.

Th Real Gonzo 118 6
11/25/2008 12:19 PM

1 can Chef Boyardee...

So, not like a Boyardee product?  Just a sloppy 'ol can of Hector, huh?  Alright.

Fratberry 283,028 53
11/25/2008 12:37 PM

Grilled Phlegm Steaks

BillSalamie 67,057 13
11/25/2008 12:45 PM

TRAILER PARK TURKEY

Microwave Swanson's Pot Pie and then fistfight your mom's boyfriend over the last beer while your meth addicted sister makes an amateur porn with two Mexican guys next door.

That's so Ravos 63,472 21
11/25/2008 12:47 PM

Turducken

Ingredients:

-1 Turkey

-1 Duck

-1 Chicken

Stuff the chicken into the duck. Then stuff the duck into the turkey. Cook & enjoy.

Strangely Cromulent Bikini 62,262 18
11/25/2008 01:02 PM

I can't remember if this was at Thanksgiving or Christmas, but this is a recipe a boyfriend's mother made me, upon discovering I was a vegetarian:

Lumpy Mashed Potato Surprise

6-8 potatoes, cooked and mashed

1 cup frozen peas, microwaved until dry

1 cup plain tofu, uncooked and cut into square inch chunks

Mix and serve with cranberry jelly, straight from the can.

It was the grossest thing ever, especially since I was not warned there were chunks of cold, raw tofu in the middle of what looked like fairly standard lumpy mashed potatoes.

BillSalamie 67,057 13
11/25/2008 01:08 PM

So she made a vegetarian mashed potatoes?

Your Favorite Jeens 47,795 51
11/25/2008 01:15 PM

Although this turkey dish is ugly:

I think this one is uglier:

Your Favorite Jeens 47,795 51
11/25/2008 01:17 PM

Though, I think this is the worst Thanksgiving dish:

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
11/25/2008 01:35 PM

WHISTLER, I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE YOU WERE MY LITTLE BROTHER, BUT YOU'RE IN A DIFFERENT STATE THAN I AM. PLUS MY BROTHER LIKES MY MOM'S COOKING, SHE ONLY COOKS TO THE TASTES OF MY BROTHER AND MY DAD. MY SISTER DOESN'T COME OVER ANYMORE. SO BASICALLY MY MOTHER WOULD LIKE ME TO DROP DEAD SO SHE CAN RAISE MY SON TO BE AS MESSED UP AS THE REST OF MY FAMILY.  SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I'M AT WORK AND USING A PROGRAM THAT REQUIRES IT.

Mekillu Maphukas 10 5
11/25/2008 04:50 PM

My grandma used to make this dessert.  The stuff was green as in green grass.  It had pieces of corn floating around in it and had walnuts (I hope so) inside it.   It was a jelly-like pudding.   It was served cold but after ten minutes warming up, it turned into some kind of oily liquid.  I really can't describe the taste for my mind has blocked the memory and also put up a do not enter sign.  It was puke plain and simple. 

Bill T. Squirrel 53,270 54
11/25/2008 08:29 PM

Eat up, them's good vittles.

Straw is stuffed 98,019 37
11/25/2008 08:42 PM

An awkward and painful meal.

That's so Ravos 63,472 21
11/26/2008 08:02 AM

Walking potion

-10 parts sugar

-90 parts whiskey

Phuc 237,919 21
11/26/2008 08:25 AM

FOX STUFFING

1 Truckload bullShakespeare

2 cups dark bread, dried and crushed with malice

4 Shakespeareloads biased

3 Jiggers racism

1 box raisins

Mix, then spoon feed to brainless turkeys untill stuffed. Cut off their flesh and eat it while they gorge themselves.

Th Real Gonzo 118 6
11/26/2008 12:16 PM

Revenge...

Served piping hot.