|
(In Part 1, my sisters and I tried to find a way to deal with our other sister's annoying behavior during Christmas reunions.)
We came up with the idea of a bingo game. We thought about all the things that pushed our buttons, and listed them. I made a five by five grid on my computer and made three cards that had the items randomly mixed.
The day before, one of my sisters had misgivings. She was afraid somehow my oldest sister would find one of the bingo cards. We agreed that we could not allow the bingo cards to be seen by anyone but us.
A recreation of the bingo card. This one is more detailed; the original was in a kind of sibling shorthand.
When I arrived at my parents’ house, I slipped each sister her piece of paper and we all put them in our front pockets. And waited.
It didn’t take long.
She asked someone if they liked her new haircut. For the third time. One of her irksome habits is to repeat things many times. So, we decided if she said something three times like, "Don’t you just love this new haircut? I love my new haircut!" we would mark the card.
Same with her shirt, pants, shoes, whatever. Each item on the card was something that she had to do at least three times, just to be fair. I mean, everyone can say or do something douche-y once -- maybe even twice. But three times proves it is truly superdouche-y.
She asked if anyone wanted to go to midnight mass with her. She does this every year, and every year she never gets ready on time and makes everyone so late we have to stand in the back. But she still asks the room at large, repeatedly; in a whiny baby voice.
She complained about the food my parents had. She does this every year, also. She rarely buys any food herself, but will go to the store with my mother (usually an expensive store like Whole Foods) and force my mother to buy a bunch of stuff my parents never eat.
She complained about her sleeping accommodations. Although she doesn’t like the bed in the guest room, that doesn’t prevent her from overstaying her welcome by a week or two. (Her job allows her to take several weeks off in the winter.)
She got hurt feelings and reminded us that she travels across the country every year and no one appreciates it.
She demeaned my mother and made fun of something she said.
She nagged my father about the number of beers he’d consumed.
Each time, I slipped into the bathroom and marked my card. YES! Only one more thing. Now, if she’ll only try to force someone to eat something she cooked and nag them incessantly if they don’t try it, I’d have BINGO! Usually my poor husband was the one who got this treatment, as she often "forgot" he was a vegetarian, and would try to make him eat something with meat.
Dad enjoying the Yankee Swap, probably after "too many beers".
Sadly, for me, she refrained from the last thing. I never got BINGO. Neither did either of my sisters. We had to abandon our game after that Christmas, because my two sisters felt too guilty about it and thought we had acted like horrible people.
But, honestly, it was the most fun Christmas we’d had in a long time.
Oh, and the next day, when we exchanged gifts, I opened a box with a beautiful set of earrings. After reminding me that they "weren’t cheap," she said, "I actually bought you a top that matched those earrings perfectly, but it only just fit me, so I knew it would be way too small for you. So I kept it for myself."
What else could I do but smile and mentally mark my card?
Don't we look like we're having fun?
|
Share on your site:
