It's the New Year, and everyone wants to lose weight. Our sponsor, Hoodia Gordonii Plus, asked us to come up with a quick weight loss program for our loyal army of comedy creators. And so we present...

The Quick Weight Loss Photoshop Challenge.

This program is guaranteed to help you lose weight, and our sponsor is awarding $500.00 in cash prizes to prove it.

"Remember the year we dressed up as clowns?"

Here's how it works:

1) If you are overweight, take a picture of yourself and upload it to our thread labeled Quick Weight Loss Photoshop Challenge: BEFORE PHOTOS. Be brave. This will give our Photoshop experts a Rubenesque gallery in which to work their magic. (If you're having problems posting your photo, pictures can be mailed to us at zugmail@zug.com.) Please:

- Use good-quality photos with decent lighting

- Upload photos of yourself only (men and women both welcome)

- Try to use photos on a solid-colored background (makes Photoshopping easier)

2) If you know how to use Photoshop, reduce the weight on any of the BEFORE entries, then upload it to our thread labeled Quick Weight Loss Photoshop Challenge: AFTER PHOTOS. (If you're having problems posting your photo, pictures can be mailed to us at zugmail@zug.com.) Please:

- Adhere to the spirit of the contest, which is to help contest entrants enjoy their new bodies.

- We reserve the right to disqualify entries that don't meet this criteria. (Feel free to Photoshop them into more awesome locations, though.)

- It is OK to post in both BEFORE and AFTER threads. (You can take all the prize money by Photoshopping your own entry!)

3) The highest-ranked AFTER entry, as calculated by total ZUGZ, will receive a cash prize of $250.00 -- and the subject of the BEFORE picture will also win $250.00! Contest ends at 11:59 pm EST on January 27, 2009. Employees of ZUG and Media Shower are not eligible (we'll have to use the Hoodia).

Most importantly, all the people who were courageous enough to be Photoshopped will now have a new body they can print out and place on their refrigerator. Within months, the power of suggestion will enable these folks to lose their old bodies and transform into their newer, slimmer self. (Finally, we've found a positive use for these Photoshop contests.)

Now PIXEL AWAY THOSE POUNDS!

Happy New Pair of Jeens 11,018 10
01/01/2009 02:26 AM

Wish it was that simple to lose weight! I also wish I had an "undo" button, and a "quick search" function, in real life. Then maybe I'd be able to find that PSP game cartridge I lost.

Dropkick Brody 41,439 9
01/01/2009 06:07 AM

Try to make it better than this piss poor effort though-

http://photoshopdisasters.blogspot.com/2008/11/craigslist-its-worth-2-just-for.html

Sorry, for some reason I am Shakespeare at computering.

Dianasaurus Rex 23,512 15
01/01/2009 08:40 AM

If you are overweight

How sweet! John's pretending we're not all fatasses!

Tofu Pudden 10,930 7
01/23/2009 12:57 AM

 This is highly discrminatory, you're purposely denying skinny people, amphetamine addicts, and the terminally ill an equal opportunity.  I hope the fatass Frost who wins, after  going on a 7-day buffet rampage with the $500, dies of a heart attack straining on the Shakespeareter.

Wait, can emciated sick scrawny people reverse photoshop themselves fat and just lie about which is before?  I mean, not that it matters since I'm a disgusting fatass and all..