Greetings Oh Ye of Little Work and Much Gabbing,

I miss wasting 8 hours a day here but am digging the new job, despite 12 to 14 hour days while we get things up and running.

*This time last year I had no idea where I was going to land and was really hoping to stay right around Asheville, but alas, that was not in the stars.

* I went for a final interview on Valentine's day and was hired on the spot for a job I had not gone in for, was not being advertised, and in a city I had visited once.

*By may I had cut my ties with the former job (mutual funds/retirement accounts, etc) causeing a downspin in the market that you have been reading about recently in the news.  Sorry about that. 

Chix is in da house 282,028 58
01/01/2009 05:57 AM

* I spent most of the summer living out of a suitcase training in another state, praying for the house to sell in a down market, and wondering if I could live in a city with almost no restaurants or licker by da drink.

*Fall was spent crammed into the RV while we opened the new office and house shopped.  We finally bought about twice as much house as we used to have for litterally the same money.  Traded a view of the mountains for a view of some mountains across a lake.  Not bad overall.

*Since I've been busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but I'm digging the challenge (the inner ADD child in me demanded new horizons) despite the sacrifices required of my time (sorry Gab).  If finally got payroll down to a single push of a button in Quickbooks so I can concentrate on my real work, so all is well with the world.

*Also, somewhere in there there was an election with no good choices and Amerika got Frosted by the party system once again.  This was not my fault.  Still, I feel I will pay for it dearly.  Every month on the 15th.  Ouch.

* I feel less funny somehow, but more satisfied.

How was your year?

Jelly tipped Neep: Open other end. 35,005 15
01/01/2009 06:25 AM

My grandma died.

Chix is in da house 282,028 58
01/01/2009 06:56 AM

SO YOU'RE YEAR WAS JUST LIKE MINE!  WE'RE TWINS TOO!

Ditdah 123,092 14
01/01/2009 08:39 AM

We bought a puppy. Older sister got married. Baby sister got pregnant.

Um... I assume other stuff happened, but I can't think of anything really memorable.

Ditdah 123,092 14
01/01/2009 08:39 AM

And it's good to see you, Chix. Miss ya!

Prof.Fantabulous 19,711 12
01/01/2009 10:26 AM

My wife and i had a baby girl.

I wrote the following killer song:

  My little girl is fantastic

  Oh yess she is fantastic

  It takes rubber to make a great bigga elastic

  If she so chooses she will join a competition a la gymnastic

  Oh yes my little girl is fantastic.

I am working on a follow up tune called "My Girl is Cute but also Funny with a Good Personality".  I don't want her to focus on only one part of her greatness.

SHP 181,263 70
01/01/2009 02:10 PM

- my refinery exploded, killing 14 people. I split my time between the burn victims and their families and my own family. I leared things I never wanted to know, saw things that will give me nightmares for my entire life, and attended my first Southern black funeral.

-I decided I want my funeral to be a Southern black funeral

-I got engaged

-My house burned down

-I got dumped

-I made a fantastic new friend

-I got told I'm gonna get laid off

2008 had a lot of the suck for me. 2009 is going to be the year of Fabulous for me. Or the year of shoes, which would also make it fabulous.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
01/01/2009 02:32 PM

 2008 had a lot of the suck for me.

I win the suck ass year award. I did however find a bunch of people who talk a lot of Shakespeare to help me through it. 

2009 is going to be the year I make my first million. All I have to do is start buying lotto tickets.+

Lyfestyle 107 6
01/01/2009 02:37 PM

I gave up my social and creative life for work.  But hey, who needs friends, love, pets, hobbies, interests or any real enjoyment of life, right? 

... right?

Fratberry 277,296 52
01/01/2009 04:06 PM

We had to have two of our cats, Lamont and Scooter, put down in December.  So we ended the year on a high note!

Nachos 57,478 23
01/01/2009 04:36 PM

I did stuff you don't care about with people you don't know.

Feel free to copy and paste this for the remainder of the posts in this thread.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
01/01/2009 04:43 PM

I would but, I don't care.

Thud 66,695 17
01/01/2009 06:44 PM

I won't be able to talk about some of the things I did until twenty years from now.

Millie 116,854 28
01/01/2009 07:48 PM

-I made a fantastic new friend



Aw, thanks!  I love you, too!





2008 sucked for me, but it was probably a bit better than 2007.

Fratberry 277,296 52
01/01/2009 11:49 PM

FYI, I've only buried one of them if anyone is hungry.  You'll have to thaw him out, though.

Chix is in da house 282,028 58
01/02/2009 04:57 AM

http://www.urbanfilmclub.com/store/pc/catalog/sandford2_1400_detail.jpg

Lamont?

Chance under the mistletoe 171,220 14
01/02/2009 07:48 AM

My daddy is in town. I didnt sleep at all last night and will probably pass out from exaustion before the day is out. Make your jokes, yes we are from Kentucky. AND GO!

Cinderblock 27,522 24
01/02/2009 08:17 AM

- I studied a lot

- I studied some more

- I got good grades

- I worked a crappy medial labor job

- I studied more

- I got excellent grades

- I still have a nearly non-existent social life

Chance's Daddy 6,618 10 attempts a jedi mind trick...
01/02/2009 08:33 AM

I did stuff you don't care about with people you don't know!

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
01/02/2009 08:58 AM

-Made Dean's List... the good one not the bad one

-Had to move after the landlord and the downstairs tenants conspired to scapegoat my son and say he makes too much noise

-Actually made an italian "contractor", his Carroll wife lawyer landlord, and 2 fat ass tenants fear me to the point where they cross the street when they see me and the landlord actually made her husband meet her outside the train station for a while. That was great!

-Sold decent amounts of AVON... not bad for a newbie.

-Made many people think I'm insane

Yeah it was a quiet year...

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 124,276 89
01/02/2009 10:01 AM

 -I perform a management-level job and still have a subordinate title and pay.

-I still have a job.

-My father-in-law died.

-My kid is adorable and hasn't ruined my marriage.

-I made some good friends.

-I got a hobby that I might stick with and a new one that I also might stick with.

dinesh 24,837 15
01/02/2009 10:46 AM

Absolutely nothing new whatsoever.

Except I now have a level 80 rogue instead of level 70.

Chrismakkuh Lobster 17,422 30
01/02/2009 11:06 AM

Last year:

-I was still in the Navy

-I got sent home from the military with a medical retirement after my second knee surgery.

-I got re-hired and fired from Lowe's

-I finished my Bachelors degree

-My grampa died

-I got a job working for a GM dealership, and was laid off 6 months later

-I got knocked up by a total creep who had to have a restraining order put up against him and is not allowed in the same county as me. I also had to threaten him with violence and a shotgun to get him offa my lawn.

-I remained unemployed and have decided to continue school full-time until after the baby is born this summer, when I will practice as a nurse's aide until I finish my degree and be a nurse practitioner. I got 2 years left, if all goes well.

-I met up with an old flame at a New Year's party who kissed me on the cheek and told me that pregnancy looks good on me. I was flattered and repulsed at the same time.

I really hope 2009 is as interesting as 2008 was.

Jepperoni 58,563 13
01/02/2009 11:35 AM

I found out the hard way that birth control pills are only 99% effective.

I found out the phone number of a doctor who does vasectomies on the cheap.

I won several rounds of corporate musical chairs to remain gainfully employed through 2008 - Am hoping to keep the streak going through 2009.

I got my first paid writing gig.

I finally won my baby girl over and went from having her run from me to Mom crying every time I tried to pick her up to now having her scream in a spine tingling octave "Dad-DEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" everytime I leave her field of vision.

I found out my oldest son may be intellectually gifted which fills me with overwhelming pride.

I have him tutoring his older sister, which does not.

I lost 25 pounds in a month by simply giving up soda and fast food, replacing candy with fruit and nuts, doing 20 push ups, 20 sit-ups, and 50 jumping jacks day while having tons of sex.  Unfortunately, this has put my wife in danger of gaining at least forty pounds by the end of July.

Dropkick Brody 43,075 12
01/02/2009 11:44 AM

I got my first paid writing gig.

Oooh, elaborate! It's a limerick epic, isn't it?

Dropkick Brody 43,075 12
01/02/2009 11:49 AM

In 2008.. I went on holiday to France (and wore a bikini for the first time).

I started French class because not knowing the language in a foreign country sucks.

Went to London and Dublin. Saw a few great gigs.

I'm hoping that in 2009 I get to move to a nicer apartment (one with actual insulation and double glazing- the opulence!) and go on holiday more.

Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,771 17
01/02/2009 12:19 PM

 In 2008

 - I maintained a relationship for over a year (still maintaining)

- Saw many friends get laid off from our company, but still glad I wasn't one of them

- Got pregnant

- Had a miscaraige

- Got pregnant again

- Got engaged

Over all it's been a good year.  2009 however will have it's own set of challenges!!

Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,771 17
01/02/2009 12:24 PM

Oh.... and the most important one: I quit smoking and drinking.

Deck The Pram 78,171 40
01/02/2009 01:08 PM

2008 was a diarrhea lapdance for me.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
01/02/2009 02:48 PM

Let's see...

1. went out with a young hottie;

2. met rich bankruptcy attorney;

3. had phone sex with guy from Zug;

4. got stiffed by my secret santa;

5. got an iPhone;

6. started selling my used panties online.

Daves not here 52,810 16
01/02/2009 03:23 PM

2008 in review.

Holy Shakespeare gas is expensive.

The old guy against the black guy.

Heath ledger is dead, and his hair line was receding. Coincidence?

Caylee's mom killed her. Should have known a woman who would name their kid Caylee was unstable, but people ignore the wrning signs. FYI, if your name is Ashley, Briana or Dakota, sleep lightly and keep a can pof mace under your pillow. Just in case.

Isaac Haye's is dead too, but in all honesty I cared more when Chef died.

Look at the size of these new Frost-ing houses. How do poeple afford them?

The Russians are rich with oils cash and getting scary.

Shakespeare, another hurricane.  Oh, nevermind, it hit texas. Apparently it's hunting the New orleans population wherever they move to.

Who the Frost is Sarah Palin?

Oh, that's who can afford them. Nobody, ha ha.

Is Reaper coming back or not?

Oh, she's a Tina Fey impersonator who was elected governor of Texas.

Companies were going green, but then they went from black to red. Then some of them died. Next time something goes green have a barber amputate it like in the old days.

My 401k lost how much?

At least gas is cheap and Russia is poor again. Their chief export is back to mail order wives.

The black guy won. Jesse Jackson and Al Shapton have to face the fact that it wasn't all bigotry, it was mostly just them.

A corrupt governor from illinois? Really?

Nothing happened in Montana of any interest.

Ever.

Nachos 57,478 23
01/02/2009 03:29 PM

6. started selling my used panties online.

Does the CDC use paypal or is it a straight account transfer?

Dogs Akimbo 205,280 31
01/02/2009 03:32 PM

 - I raced into a burning building to save a case of Saw Mill River Pale Ale and two bottles of Belvedere vodka. Three infants and a cat did not make it.

 - I created a line of designer clothing (DK) that consists of "husky boy" corduroys and t-shirts pre-stained with mustard.

 - I taught my Westie to poop on command. This year, I'll be taking her to work to complete my management status reports.

 - I collected 143, 556 yogurt lids and now Bill Gates has to mow my lawn.

 - I tracked down the actual lyrics to Louie, Louie. I still don't understand what it is he's doing with the avocado.

 - I tied a towel around my neck and jumped off the garage.

Millie 116,854 28
01/02/2009 09:03 PM

2008:

January:  miscarriage

                 hated my job



February:  continued to hate my job



March:  ditto



April:  ditto



May: hated job

         got pregnant



June: hated job

           had miscarriage

           got new job



July:  turned 43

          made more money because of commissions



August:  made money at work



September: continued making money

                       went to Boston to say goodbye to Al and

                           brought home a cat for my ex-husband



October: great sales and commission

                 favorite uncle died



November:  sales (and commission) dried up

                      started selling items on Etsy.com



December:  sold most of items on Etsy.com

                      sales at work (and commission) dismal

                      hated job again





2009:



make and sell more stuff on Etsy

find a decent doctor instead of the doofus I have now

try not to hate my job and/or get fired

lose weight (already lost 5 pounds this week)

Test Tube Baby 828 5
01/02/2009 09:39 PM

2008  Had a lobotomy and now spend my days with all of you.

Frogpop 173,113 25
01/03/2009 12:44 AM

- my refinery exploded, killing 14 people.

Try eating less mexican food.

Et tu, Phlambe? 130,632 34
01/03/2009 01:39 AM

I think you mean:

2008  Had a lobotomy and.. buhhbuhh.drj...... firebadddddddd *drooldrooldrool*

What is this, a Piquantrax? 972 9
01/03/2009 09:21 AM

Won 1500 bucks on scratch off lotto tickets

Arrived in Puerto Rico for spring break promptly to be dumped by my girlfriend of two years over the phone

Month long drinking binge

Dropped outta school

Worked at summer camp

Got fired for drinking

Worked at summer camp

Drinking

Moved to Austin, TX

Joined a comedy troupe

Played poker

Visited friends in Baltimore and drinking

Visited friends in Israel

Drinking

My friends got deployed to Gaza

Drinking

Slept right through New Years

Pubah 54,888 17
01/03/2009 11:26 AM

Jan - Changed jobs, made more money (Postal Service is good work)

Feb - Performed before about 100 people...and got paid

Mar - Had run in with plant manager...made friends with a buxum blonde

April - Changed jobs, made more money...did less work (Postal Service is great)

May - Performed before about 200 veterans

June - Lost a very dear friend...Layne Bryant and Godzilla movies will never be the same

July - Had family reunion...realized how much we need each other

August - farted...Stopped crying

September - Became Homeowner...He's gonna go from rags to riches...Youngest child started college

October - Realized Gab need'nt me the center of my universe

Novermber - Voted out of hope instead of fear...Ate Sushi...it was good except the calmari reminded me of chewing rubberbands

December - Renovating home...with wallboard, not cardboard

2008 was like the stock market, some really good highs and some really bad lows.

I'm hopeful for 2009

Le Ravos 62,358 20
01/03/2009 01:27 PM

Lets see, 2008...

-Didn't get fired.

-Got a new circle of friends for a few months, who later set my back on fire with a BBQ lighter & tried to stab me. Obviously got rid of said friends.

-Had an amazing birthday cottage party.

-Moved out of my parent's basement.

-Went to Toronto with some friends.

That was about it. My life is boring, what can I say?

 

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,959 36
01/03/2009 02:40 PM

January: Went back to my original college, got all As and Bs.

February: Uh.  Hrm.  Nothing?

March: Turned 21.  Have been carded once since then, damn it.

April: Applied to be a RA.

May: Got RA job, finished junior year

June-August: Took summer classes and worked at porn shop, got robbed.

September-December: Did my senior thesis (on Batman), passed all my classes, entered one-act play in writing contest (results in Januray)

Overall 2008 was pretty uneventful for me.  I didn't accomplish much, I'm still single, the economy/job market blows, and I'm emerging from college with loan debt.  Hopefully 2009 will be better.

Millie, what's your etsy seller name?

Millie 116,854 28
01/03/2009 10:12 PM

Taco, it's rmilliken.  There isn't much there at the moment, but I should be making more stuff soon.

Suicide Ranger 27,849 12
01/03/2009 10:25 PM

Like I want to add more drama to the Shakespeare I've spread all over the site already.

Frogpop 173,113 25
01/03/2009 10:39 PM

There's more?

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
01/04/2009 11:32 AM

Does the CDC use paypal or is it a straight account transfer?

They are one of my National Accounts, I bill them monthly (straight account transfer).  So far, so good.

Happy New BC Bud 13,693 15 cries
01/04/2009 12:16 PM

Jan - Once again unfunny on Gab

Feb - Once again unfunny on Gab

March - Once again unfunny on Gab

april - Once again unfunny on Gab

may  - Once again unfunny on Gab

june - Once again unfunny on Gab

july - Once again unfunny on Gab

aug - Once again unfunny on Gab

sept - Once again unfunny on Gab

oct  - Once again unfunny on Gab

nov - Once again unfunny on Gab

dec - Once again unfunny on Gab

Pubah 54,888 17
01/04/2009 01:29 PM

Dear JooGurrl,

In the Summer of Two-Thousand Ate (henceforth to be known as The Summer of Pain), you cared.

For that, I am thankfull and indebted to you (get in line with the Credit Card, Mortgage, Tax Collectors...) 

Dryole Nod 5 4
01/04/2009 03:28 PM

- I didn't study, still Aced tests.

- My grandfather died

- I joined Zug

- I joined Facebook

- My brother moved to college and got a dog.

- I was responsible for ten train wrecks, one of which got national news.

Fratberry 277,296 52
01/04/2009 07:53 PM

Feb - Performed before about 100 people...and got paid

I'm almost afraid to do this but I'm going to anyway...

Performed what, Pubah?

Thud 66,695 17
01/04/2009 08:10 PM

I'm almost afraid to do this but I'm going to anyway...

Performed what, Pubah?

I'll guess it was his new performance art piece:  "One Man, One Cup".

choche 215 6
01/04/2009 09:26 PM

Same Shakespeare, different year.

Whistler Hussein McManus 183,262 42
01/04/2009 10:03 PM

2008 didn't seem so bad as it was going on, but somehow, I feel like I'm in deep Shakespeare now that it's over.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
01/05/2009 11:58 AM

Dear JooGurrl,

In the Summer of Two-Thousand Ate (henceforth to be known as The Summer of Pain), you cared.

For that, I am thankfull

Pubah,

You're welcome!  Were you my SS or were you just being nice?  I got the envelope today.  Nice pix - I've never seen one that beautiful!  Very impressed!

Mooch ass grassy ass,

Joo

Pubah 54,888 17
01/05/2009 09:51 PM

Frat/Thud...Pubah Sing for Dinner

JooG...Don't say ass...It arouse Pubah.

No, I'm not your Secret Santa.  Just thought you'd like receiving a calander for a change...All photos, Pubah origionals.

Cause you rock

Test Tube Baby Now In High Def 828 5
01/06/2009 12:07 AM

Pubah we're all so proud of you for singing for your supper and getting paid.

But, seriously you didn't do that one cup, one man routine did you ?

Le Ravos 62,358 20
01/06/2009 04:25 AM

Pubah is an up and coming Chamillionaire.

Gonzo 20,504 16
01/06/2009 12:43 PM

* I managed to hijack two simultaneously test-launched nuclear missiles, which for some reason were outfitted with live warheads, and direct them into the San Andreas fault and Hoboken, New Jersey respectively, the net effect of which was the mass destruction of the west coast, with California submerging into the Pacific, and my land-holdings just east of the fault becoming instantly prime land (after all teh bodies that wash up are disposed-of, of course.)   I also inadvertantly created a sentient cloud of medical-waste that now has settled over the Appalachians because it enjoys mutating hillbillys.  I mean, who wouldn't, right?  Unfortunately for me, Superman went back in time and prevented this from happening after it happened.  Good thing he didn't just try to spin the earth backwards, because, man... think of the destruction that would cause?

Le Ravos 62,358 20
01/06/2009 01:28 PM

Good thing he didn't just try to spin the earth backwards, because, man... think of the destruction that would cause?

No thanks, I'll pass.

Chance under the mistletoe 171,220 14
01/06/2009 03:25 PM

Dearest Pubes,

You rock mah socks! Thank you sooooo much for the christmas card and beautiful pictures of the bridge near my home. I really enjoyed the picture of me undressing that you took through my window....it was tasteful and not at all creepy.  I hope you had a wonderful holiday also and hope your heart mends soon!

Love always,

Chance

Pubah 54,888 17
01/07/2009 10:36 PM

Thanks Chance...I'll hold the pictures of your body parts next to my body parts

Le Ravos 62,358 20
01/08/2009 04:19 AM

I think what Pubah is trying to say is that he will tape a picture of your face onto his blow-up doll.

Pubah 54,888 17
01/08/2009 07:06 PM

Whatever Works!

Commmmmooooonnnnn, Funny Feelin...

Thank you Chance