I just got home from my yearly holiday in Illinois and found a rather large package waiting for me at the doorstep. Since I had been gone for many days, I was nervous that my SS had sent me something alive which I would have to dispose of and deny ever receiving. However I was delighted when I found this:

I was so excited that my SS got me a Santa of my own that I actually felt all the coupons fall out of my pocket and the conversion take place right on the spot.

I quickly plugged in the Santa and pressed play, disregarding the 30-page operations manual and CD (instructions are for pussies) Here is what happened:



Notice my cat even is transfixed with the gift at about 2 minutes in.



And then the Pièce de résistance.



After I erased the permagrin from my face, I decided to press further to see what all the additional content was.



I thumbed through the 30-page operations manual, which had hilarious instructions, a few disclaimers and many in depth diagrams and schematics. I started to think that my Santa actually put this thing together from scratch. I thought it was a joke, but then I popped in the CD to find the following video files in the dungeon of my Santa testing and explaining the inner working of my gift.



I was in shock at the level of effort put forth and a opted to write this thank you note, rather than turn him in as the Unibomber. 

Mung Champ 22,608 16
01/04/2009 02:49 AM

Since my SS is a mystery to me, now would be the time to reveal himself to the group. The return address matches the area where Manhole resides, but that doesn’t explain the angelic female voice of the song. So take a bow and please click the hell out of the best Secret Santa Evar!!!



Oh and here are the lyrics to the song:



Secret Santa, put Millie’s cookies under the tree, for me

I haven’t been a tubgirl

Secret Santa, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Secret Santa, I’d like some spicey underwear too, light blue

Take a Chance on me dear

Secret Santa, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Think of all the fun I've missed

The fellas at GABlanta that I haven’t kissed

Next year I could stay with Uncle Al

If you'd goatse my Hanukka thread

-Bee Doo Bee Doo



Secret Santa, I wanna taco - really that's

Not a lot

This’ll all end in tears

Secret Santa, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Secret Santa, theres one thing I really do need, the deed

To a house in Plano

Secret Santa, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Secret Santa, fill my stocking with Cup of X.  What’s that?

Oh….X is for X

mother-Froster, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Come and pee on my Christmas tree

With lots of smiling zugz of hilarity

I really do believe in you

Let's see if you believe chickens is dead

Boo doo bee doo



Secret Santa, forgot to ask one album request ….for chests

I don't mean Oliver

Secret Santa, and prank the town of Boston tonight



Prank the town of Boston tonight

Prank the town of Boston tonight...

 

Happy New Pair of Jeens 11,032 10
01/04/2009 03:24 AM

Wow. You got a really smart secret santa, Mung! Will you set that up with the menora next year?

UnderWhere? 72,856 16
01/04/2009 04:09 AM

I made a list song!

Holy Shakespeare, I am jealous.  Whoever made that, I'm going to hump your face.

Anh is here. 10,502 8
01/04/2009 06:43 AM

It's probably manhole, since I know he likes technology and robots, which means the vocal talent belongs to Straw!

Great gift.

UnderWhere? 72,856 16
01/04/2009 06:48 AM

Vocal talent?  Let's just all be glad Straw's chest isn't as flat as her voice.

Anh is here. 10,502 8
01/04/2009 06:58 AM

The singing kind of reminds me of this, but less awkward.

Anh is here. 10,502 8
01/04/2009 07:00 AM

Apparently, embedding doesn't work, so here.

Frogpop 155,665 12
01/04/2009 07:02 AM

Sweet merciful GLAVIN!

Straw la la la la la la la la 59,609 11
01/04/2009 07:19 AM

All I could hope for was that my singing wouldn't trigger Mung to thrust steak knives into his ears. 

Millie 107,039 10
01/04/2009 08:27 AM

Yay!  I'm in a song!  Cool gift, too.

manhole 7,849 8
01/05/2009 05:51 PM

Glad you got it in one piece! I was a little worried about it getting damaged during shipping.

It was built from a toy found at the Good Will and parts gathered from a midnight raid at the local Radio Shack. Straw wrote, edited and produced the song. Despite a few late glitches with the self destruct mechanism, it went together quite well!

There are suttle hints to our identities, you linked to one of them in the thread. And I built it to be modifiable. Changing the audio, frequency and delay times can be done without too much trouble.

Fratberry 219,200 13
01/05/2009 06:31 PM

Holy snickers, that's incredible.  Kudos to Manhole.

Phuc 231,319 13
01/05/2009 08:06 PM

Sweet merciful Jeebus!

You wiggaz have set the bar.

Damn you.

Fratberry 219,200 13
01/06/2009 07:15 AM

Seriously, that belongs in some sort of ZUG Hall o' Fame.  Straw couldn't carry a tune in a bag but that just adds to teh genius.

Dogs Akimbo 158,693 11
01/06/2009 05:42 PM

Straw couldn't carry a tune in a bag

Really? I play that over and over while looking at the plate pictures.

Lady Jade 14,238 6
01/06/2009 06:38 PM

I want one of those.

Seriously, that is one of the most awesome things I've ever seen. And I've seen a naked blonde covered in bacon, so that's saying something.

Just Chance 168,225 11
01/08/2009 05:13 AM

Wowzers! Yay Manhole and Straw!

Fratberry 219,200 13
01/09/2009 12:44 AM

BTW, this is now on the ZUG home page under "Funniest Conversations".  Nice work you'ze.

TomServo 3,733 5
01/12/2009 04:14 PM

I don't know if I would feel comfortable knowing that someone with that kind of know-how had my address...