First off, there ain't much of a selection at the W. BumFrost Cinema, so if the choice is between oversexed brats singing tunes that would make Andrew Lloyed Weber barf in his soy latte and a giant robot blowing Shakespeare up, any GABber worth his/her inhaler will choose the droid.



It is my conclusion that when the producers sat down to first discuss this film, they decided "Let's make a movie worthy of the acting talents of Keanu Reeves," and there was much rejoicing and drinking of Volvic.



This movie blew chunks, from the crappy and uninspired effects to the hokey attempts at emotional manipulation to the plot that was weaker than Terry Schiavo at triathalon.



Then there's Keanu. Now, I'm all for supporting my half-Asian brothers, and with Eddie Van Halen doing such a Shakespearety job of representing and Zack from "Saved by the Bell"... well, with him being Zack from "Saved by the Bell," Keanu is the best we got. God save us.



Remember his Southern Accent in "Tune in Tomorrow?" No? His English accent in "Dracula?" Take those accents and mix them with three cups of suck in a bowl full of Rosie O'Donnel's liquified Shakespeare and you have Keanu Reeves' performance in "The Day the Earth Stood Still."



Oh, and the robot doesn't blow anything up and he isn't even a robot. And the phrase "Klaatu Borado Necktie" is never even spoken. Frosters.

Thud 68,506 19
01/13/2009 07:04 PM

So, you saying you didn't like it?  It's not quite clear from your post.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/13/2009 09:01 PM

I used this clue: "... the plot that was weaker than Terry Schiavo at triathalon."

Now I'm no astrophysicist, hell, I probably can't even spell astrology, but I'm thinking the only folks WEAKER than Terry at triathalons, would be dead folks. 

Rabbit Hare 2 4
01/13/2009 09:13 PM

only folks WEAKER than Terry at triathalons, would be dead folks.

Depends, are those the new zombies or the old ones?

Thud 68,506 19
01/13/2009 09:17 PM

Depends, are those the new zombies or the old ones?

That depends, how old is Keanu Reeves?

Wait, were you talking about the acting or the triathlon performance?

Chit 178,781 15
01/13/2009 10:10 PM

Keanu is the best we got.  

Tiger Woods is gonna wrap a 9 iron around your neck if he ever hears you make that claim again.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/13/2009 10:19 PM

The blacks already claimed Tiger.

It was a fair trade, though, because now that we have the Rza and the Gza, we've diversified our bonds.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
01/14/2009 04:40 AM

Zack from "Saved by the Bell"... well, with him being Zack from "Saved by the Bell,"

You take that back you monster!

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
01/14/2009 08:49 AM

 Mmm, Tiger Woods...

Pubah 56,813 18
01/14/2009 08:04 PM

May a thousand nano-bots poop in your lawn

Just wishing you a Happy Wensday, Uber sinister, one eyed, lazer beamin, alien Robot (Gort) style

I thought it was okay

Adi Krauthammer 0 4
01/17/2009 10:46 AM

It  is cool to  join  I need your help  My boyfriend Rory Peyton calls me sexywexy  but my mom doesn't think that this guy knows me but he does What should I do?

Just Chance 171,275 14
01/17/2009 10:54 AM

How old are you?

Pubah 56,813 18
01/17/2009 05:03 PM

How tall are you?

Pubah 56,813 18
01/17/2009 05:05 PM

Nachoo, Chance...you know I think the world revolves around your ass...

(Cause it's as big and hot as the Sun)

xentar 473 7
01/18/2009 12:55 AM

You mean, they share one ass??

Pubah 56,813 18
01/18/2009 02:50 AM

*Smacks zentard with Newton's book on Gravity*

xentar 473 7
01/18/2009 04:26 AM

Hmm... Speaking of gravity, it could be that they once had separate asses but their sheer mass caused so much force and spacetime distortion that they were merged together... Gotta go write some tensors.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
01/19/2009 04:57 AM

You put way too much thought into this...