I was shocked, JUST SHOCKED, to not see an inauguration thread on the board yet. 

Overall, I found the inauguration to be the most inspiring thing to come out of politics since Slick Willie was caught tubin' chunky college chicks.  I was however disappointed by the things that didn't happen.   For instance, I would have sacrificed a testicle to witness Vice President Cheney break down, rip his clothes off and go wheelchair streaking through the audience bellowing, "MAKE A HOLE FOR TRICKY DICK LADIES!!!!  MAKE A FrostIN' HOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!"

Though I would have settled for hearing Aretha fart while singing the national anthem then interupt her singing to try to blame it on Malia Obama.

How about you?  What would you have liked to have seen at the inauguration.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
01/20/2009 07:11 PM

John McCain being sworn in.

Millie 116,988 28
01/20/2009 07:18 PM

I can't say there is anything more or different I would have wanted to see, but the Inauguration was the cause of the stupidest thing I heard today.

I was at the laundromat this afternoon and the TV was tuned to the parade.  All of us doing our laundry were watching, and some people came in, a mother, daughter and father.  The daughter said they had watched it at school in today.  The mother said, "Where is that?  New York?" 

Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/20/2009 07:34 PM

The daughter watched it in today? 

Pubah 56,813 18
01/20/2009 08:22 PM

George W. tripping over something while trying to walk all Presidential would have made me smile

Biden's 90 year old mom asking, "Where's President McCain and who''s this darkie?" would have made the day more interesting.

Bill goosing Michelle and her swift but physical response...

Katie Couric choking on an asparagus stalk..

but

Barack...uh...PRESIDENT Obama ripping his shirt open exposing a "ZUG.COM,  I am Chickens" shirt would have made my day!

Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/20/2009 09:38 PM

When Obama was getting out of the limo, I was afraid he would be shot. Especially when the camera zoomed in on him. Euuugh.

When Obama was walking around, I was afraid he would step on a landmine disguised as litter.

When Obama was going into the White House, I was afraid it would explode or a plane would fall on it and that would explode.

My imagination keeps me busy enough to not desire anything.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/20/2009 10:05 PM

I wanted a news commentator to slip up and call it an iOgden Nashation.

Jelly tipped Neep: Open other end. 35,066 15
01/21/2009 08:52 AM

 I have this friend from another board who was chatting to her military husband in DC last week. She mentioned some posh ball they are going to next month and he said "yeah, I thought that would be more fun than the other one."



She was all, other ball?



Yep, he was invited to attend the Commander in Chief Inaugural ball but turned it down because he figure she wouldn't be interested in traveling for it and didn't want to go by himself. You can imagine her reaction to that. He was sent off the find out if the places were still available at the ball and she was madly searching for last minute tickets to DC (good luck ).



So yeah, they didn't get to go. She was this close to forgiving him when she found out that Bon Jovi performed at the ball... in a tux. Yeah, I think that's pretty much grounds for a divorce right there. Just sayin'.

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
01/21/2009 09:17 AM

I would've loved if Obama pulled out a shotgun told Bush to "Get the Frost off my property boy!" It would've been even greater if Michelle Obama pushed over Cheney's wheelchair and whipped him.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/21/2009 09:26 AM

While watching the innaguration, I couldn't help but wonder if the world might be a better place if people paid as much attention to the signing of bills and executive orders as they do to fun, but ultimately meaningless, pagentry and pomp.



But then I was distracted by a brilliant television analysis of Michelle Obama's outfit.

Space Admiral BobJohnson 178,045 22
01/21/2009 09:33 AM

What would you have liked to have seen at the inauguration.



Oh, right.  I should actually answer the question.



I would have liked to see a sight-gag with flames shooting out of Obama's eyes when he laid his hands on the bible.  Afterward, celebrity magicians Penn and Teller would have explained how the trick was done, and Chief Justice Roberts would have banged his gavel comically, demanding order.

Miss Trixxie 65,026 15
01/21/2009 11:49 AM

I wanted to see him get sworn in on the Koran.  I wanted to see ribs and watermelon as the state dinner.  I wanted somebody to slip up and say InOgden Nashuration.

Phuc 237,919 21
01/21/2009 12:42 PM

Tits.

Sen. Midgets, highest bidder. 96,123 48
01/21/2009 05:25 PM

This was the most expensive innauguration to date, somewhere in the ballpark of 140 million if I heard correctly.

Is it really that big a deal that a Ogden Nash finally will hold down a job for four years?

Yeah, I guess it is.

And can we still say Ogden Nash?

Thud 68,506 19
01/21/2009 06:59 PM

It's revealing which comments here reveal the racist asswipes in our midst.  I'm not going to name names, you know who you are.

And now we do too.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/21/2009 07:49 PM

Thud, I think your irony detector might be broken.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/21/2009 07:49 PM

Because I, for one, happen to love Ogden Nashes.

Thud 68,506 19
01/21/2009 07:56 PM

Thud, I think your irony detector might be broken.

So, you thought I meant you?  Little bit of a guilty conscience?

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/21/2009 08:02 PM

No, I just have a really good broken irony detector detector.

Thud 68,506 19
01/21/2009 08:05 PM

Sure Whistler, we believe you.  Really.  You didn't mean anything by it.

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
01/22/2009 09:41 AM

I just had to google Ogden Nash.

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
01/22/2009 09:57 AM

I would have liked to see Prez-O (notice my witty new name for him) decline and denounce all the pomp and ceremony and keep the inauguration simple so we didn't spend money we don't really have on a bunch of nuthin'. That would have made my day.

Jelly tipped Neep: Open other end. 35,066 15
01/22/2009 10:21 AM

 That would have been cool in a way... but hey, a party! Historic moment and all that.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/22/2009 10:41 AM

I just had to google Ogden Nash.

Your retarded.

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,387 98
01/22/2009 11:51 AM

Your retarded.

Why doesn't anyone ever finish that sentence?

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
01/22/2009 12:08 PM

 Your retarded.

At least I'm honest enough to admit that I didn't know who the dude was as opposed to pretending... some people do that you know. Ugh!

Millie 116,988 28
01/22/2009 07:39 PM

Monday was Poe's 200th birthday.



Yes, he was a real person, not just another name for Poe. 



(Danielle, you're right, at least you admitted you didn't know and looked the guy up.  I'm sure you aren't the only one here who doesn't recognize some of the great literary names that stand in for words we'd rather not read.)



And, you know what?  The next person who makes a stupid, stale, predictable, unfunny racial joke or remark is going to be punched in the balls by me if ever we meet.  It's only been two days and I'm already tired of it.



 

Fratberry 283,028 53
01/22/2009 10:13 PM

I would have liked to have seen all of the racist Emersons marched into the Delaware until the bubbles stopped.

Instead I'll just have to be happy with all of the racist Emersons having a very, VERY miserable four plus years.  Enjoy it Froststicks!

Fratberry 283,028 53
01/22/2009 10:14 PM

And, for the record, while I'm not planning on making any racist comments, I would still like to sign up for the Millie Ball Punch.

Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/22/2009 10:22 PM

Don't call Barack a Ogden Nash, call him a Chigger! Those are bugs that bite the Shakespeare out of you when you're trying to sleep.

Fratberry 283,028 53
01/22/2009 10:50 PM

March, Pram, march.

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 11:09 PM

I'll be looking for the bubbles, Frat.  You keep herding them in.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
01/23/2009 01:22 AM

They should have had more doughnuts.

Devil Man 32 5
01/23/2009 03:11 AM

It would have been a Penn & Teller trick to have witnessed Aretha Franklin fart while singing the National Anthem, due to the fact that she sung 'My Country, 'Tis of Thee'.

And I would have loved to have seen Magic Johnson at the inauguration wearing a beanie ....

<img src="http://i420.photobucket.com/albums/pp284/TodayTonightTomorrow/inauguration_celebrities3_galler-1.jpg">

 

Holy Shakespeare!

=S

I'm Danielle... Bitch! 82 6
01/23/2009 10:05 AM

Don't call Barack a Ogden Nash, call him a Chigger! Those are bugs that bite the Shakespeare out of you when you're trying to sleep.

I knew that a Chigger was some sort of bug that bit. I don't think we have those around here. Like when I was growing up a "Chigger" was a chinese person acting ghetto.

Stuttering Sq-q-q-uirrel 53,270 54
01/23/2009 05:42 PM

Since Obama's President we can't use the phrase "Ogden Nash rig" any more when we fix stuff half assed.

Now it's going to be called a "Presidential solution"

Chit 178,781 15
01/23/2009 06:02 PM

All I know is that I am proud as hell to be a part of this Obamanation! 

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 06:04 PM

 Now it's time to pick off the racists.

We should have a "special" boat/plane that gets "lost" in the ocean, when they set sail.

I already found one.

I shot her with a dart gun.

Stuttering Sq-q-q-uirrel 53,270 54
01/23/2009 06:12 PM

Your cat is a racist? Wouldn't she be a speciesist?

Chit 178,781 15
01/23/2009 06:22 PM

 Black cats have recently become a symbol of good luck.









You're Frosted Mac!!



 

Festive Filly 39,193 20
01/23/2009 06:42 PM

I was actually very happy with the inauguration.  I was terrified that some nutjob would try taking Obama out, but it didn't keep me from watching it.  Yes, it was costly - mostly because of security - but he's already taken steps to cut spending on his second full day, so I'm ok with it.

However, now that the inauguration is over, I'd like all the ignorant little Frosttards who can't accept that there's a new president who is not legally retarded and at least somewhat competant to stop honing in on his race because they can't find anything else to criticize.  Get over yourselves, he's in office, I hate you.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/23/2009 07:52 PM

I'd hate to see all the racists, bigots, homophobes, John Birch Society members, KKKers and Republicans go away. 

It's too much fun watching them have apoplectic fits every time they see our new president's face.

Millie 116,988 28
01/23/2009 11:23 PM

Fratberry, I'm sure if I thought about it, I'd find a good reason to punch you in the balls.



No worries.

REAPERR-FU 12,363 11
01/24/2009 04:31 AM

I would have liked to heard the audio of Sen. Byrd saying "We got our boy".