I recently bought a dart gun for no apparent reason, but then thought, "yeah it was to support the Chinese economy". I brought it home and felt like testing it out. I started firing on my wall, and for some reason I was entertained by reloading this thing (This. children. is your brain on video games.) When I left for school, I accidentally left my door open, and my cat, Rufus, decided to get in and have some fun. Later that day, I came home to find half of my stuff knocked over, and Rufus was sitting on my top shelf, next to my TV. He was out of reach in my hands, so I pulled out my dart gun. (Which by the way, is heavily based like a shotgun. It has 6-round clips) I shot him once and it didn't even seem to phase him. I shot him a second time and he got a little agitated. I shot him a third time, and he got mad. I shot him the fourth time, only this time, he tried to swat the bullet out of the air. Wrong move. He fell off of my top shelf, and I shot him once more on his way out of my room at a speed equivalent to 90mph. Rufus is a good moving target.

    Anyone got any stories involving dart guns that they wish to share?

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 08:11 PM

Your story has left a whiff of douchebag lingering around here.  Maybe you should go sit on a shelf.

By the way, I don't use dart guns.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 08:15 PM

........... Um that's very rude, and uncalled for. 

Millie 116,988 28
01/22/2009 08:17 PM

You suck.  Anyone who deliberately shoots their cat is an Emerson.  Plus, it isn't funny.



Why the hell don't we have mahas anymore?  I want to nega-click!

Millie 116,988 28
01/22/2009 08:18 PM

Let's see, you either have more than one account or have a buddy who is clicking you. 



 

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 08:20 PM

You can have your opinion, and I can have mine. I am very nice to my animals most of the time, and they usually behave. I was angry, because this doesn't normally happen, and I hate to have a messy room. I really don't feel the need to explain myself any further.

Millie 116,988 28
01/22/2009 08:21 PM

Good.

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 08:22 PM

........... Um that's very rude, and uncalled for. 

That wasn't actually very rude.  If I called you a Coleridgestain who is a poor excuse for a human being and should be handed over to Declan for anal rendering, that might be rude.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 08:25 PM

Go ahead, hate me all you want, but I'm still here.

Don't you have anything better to do that flame people?

Bean 8,602 19
01/22/2009 08:27 PM

um.  No.

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 08:56 PM

Mac tISHM, I'm not flaming you.  I decided to be slightly mean because your original post was juvenile and I felt that it needed being called to your attention.

I you thought that was flaming, you haven't met Trixxie Taco.

The Mailman 176,464 56
01/22/2009 09:07 PM

I am very nice to my animals most of the time



I can be nice with humans for several years; I eventually stab them repeatedly with a butcher knife, but when I do, it's only for three or four minutes. So in the end, I can say that I'm nice to humans most of the time.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 10:01 PM

Sorry, new to here. I love the humor here. And yes my post was very juvenile.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 10:07 PM

Haha I'm like

"This is madness!"

and you're like

"THIS IS ZUG!!!"

and that reminds me of a movie............

nope can't think of it.

Fratberry 283,028 53
01/22/2009 10:07 PM

and I hate to have a messy room

...and daddy beats me and touches me in my bathing suit area when he's been drinking.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 10:12 PM

I love this place...................

I can feel my IQ dropping every second.

haha

Bean 8,602 19
01/22/2009 10:24 PM

*re-reads Mac's last post*

huh?

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 10:24 PM

You'll do fine, Mac.  You've already jumped in the pool, now it's time to start paddling around.

Whoa, that sounds stuffy.  Let me try again.

Good luck, you may need it.

Thud 68,506 19
01/22/2009 10:25 PM

Bean, he did say his IQ was dropping...

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/22/2009 10:35 PM

Thanks. I'll look out for taco haha.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
01/23/2009 01:29 AM

Anyone got any stories involving dart guns that they wish to share?

On the one hand, you've discovered the best way to get people here to post: ask them about themselves. On the other hand, way too specific.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
01/23/2009 01:30 AM

What I meant to say was, Once I thought I had brought down a gazelle, but it turned out to be Mrs. Wilson.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
01/23/2009 03:47 AM

What kind of darts are you talking about; Nerf? Cause those don't hurt and you can dip them in say, tuna oil.

It gives them something nice for later.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 06:45 AM

yup, nerf.

Stuttering Sq-q-q-uirrel 53,270 54
01/23/2009 10:13 AM

Wow, I didn't think anyone could be dumber than Lobster.

Thank you for proving me wrong Mac. If you are going to post an inane story about your cat at least make sure it's dead already. Right Frat?

chicken nipples 2,207 7
01/23/2009 11:08 AM

Jesus.. are you guys going to hunt Mac down and dump a vat of cat blood on him?

I thought your story was pretty funny man.  As much damage as my cat has delt to me over the years.. I think she would deserve a couple darts to the dome if she knocked a bunch of Shakespeare over in my room too.  I'd never deliberatly hurt my cat, but she deserves to get pissed off every once in a while if she's doing some Shakespeare she knows she's not supposed to do.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 12:43 PM

haha thanks

nerf.................................

thevelveturd 6,553 10
01/23/2009 01:51 PM

I've got a great story about dartguns to share.

I was reading this post on a humor website where somebody shared how they had been abusing their cat by shooting it with a dartgun. I guess he thought it was funny or something but he was the only one. He even got a little defensive and accused them of flaming, but thats when the real flaming started. By the end of it he was apologizing and trying to be funny again but it turned out sounding desperate. I'll bet he was checking that thread every 30 minutes to see how much kudos he'd be getting for his cat torture story. Whooo boy what a reality check. Haha.....classic.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 02:47 PM

you know that the gun shoots Frost-ing nerf darts correct?

Do you own a cat?

Have you been shot by a nerf gun?

I definetely seems that you have, or will be a crazy cat person at some point.

thevelveturd 6,553 10
01/23/2009 03:40 PM

I know, I know, you love your cat. It was only nerf. But if there's anything I've learned from lurking this site is that when Millie disaproves of your post. It's flame on man, FLAME ON!!!  Watch, lurk, and learn before posting. If it really doesn't contain humor or has no possibility of spawning humor or you aren't sure either way. Keep it to yourself.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
01/23/2009 05:16 PM

My kids have those Nerf guns.  Whenever I have a day where they have driven me absolutely nuts, I get out the guns and say, "Let's shoot each other with the Nerf guns!" Then I shoot the hell out of them with it.

They laugh and have a good time while I get to get rid of all of my frustrations without beating them or inflicting emotional abuse that will scar them for life. Everyone wins!

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 05:38 PM

 nice. 

My parents used to do that......

only they gave us shovels.

chicken nipples 2,207 7
01/23/2009 05:38 PM

CHILD ABUSE!

Chit 178,781 15
01/23/2009 05:40 PM

SWEET CHILD ABUSE.

(It gets a lot worse) 

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 05:42 PM

 The shovels are probably the reason I have joined this website............... yup

Chit 178,781 15
01/23/2009 05:48 PM

When I was a boy, we didn't have nerf guns... We had ping pong paddles... And tiny little plaid short pant outfits with the little built in suspenders from my grandmother in France.    (wheyy gheyy)







And red butts... Did I mention the little red butts?

 

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 06:00 PM

 Did you have the glass shard-covered arena of shovel/pong paddle battles?

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
01/23/2009 07:57 PM

Hey, Mac!  You said you left for school - what school do you go to?  I go to John Lincoln Klemm Junior High.  Do you have a myspace page?

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 08:21 PM

 yes, and please don't comment that I look quite emo in my picture. I already know

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=344101488

Bean 8,602 19
01/23/2009 08:30 PM

So.

Gullible.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/23/2009 08:34 PM

So gas-inducing.

Millie 116,988 28
01/23/2009 11:32 PM

Wow, velvetturd, I didn't realize my disapproval was so powerful.  I don't consider what I say flaming.  I'm usually nice to people unless they hurt animals, are racist, or piss me off. 



If some new person is funny or at least trying to be, I'm nice. 



At least Mac took it without too much whining.

thevelveturd 6,553 10
01/24/2009 07:40 AM

It's not that you're flaming. However your opinion does seem to have a  certain influence on the collective. Maybe it's the one female in a sea of testosterone affect. Or more like a lake of testosterone, it is a small website.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/24/2009 08:00 AM

 You do realize that rufus is perfectly fine, he landed on his feet, and they're foam darts that even if shot out of a pistol wouldn't hurt anyone? I'm not entirely sure how I hurt him. That was his consequence for going into my room (which he knows not to do) and knocking half of my stuff over. 













P.S. If it's any consolation I gave him a big hug later.

thevelveturd 6,553 10
01/24/2009 08:14 AM

First nerf dart torture and now hugging!!! You bastard!!! I will be reporting this to PETA.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
01/24/2009 09:33 AM

Personally I like to tickle the toe hairs and pinch the long hairs(gently); cause they sooo deserve it.

By the way never shoot silly string at a cat on his kitty perch. The sound of the can spraying, and the string comming at them so fast is too much for them. They just jump any random way or direction.

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
01/24/2009 03:17 PM

Welcome to Zug.

Funny stories involving guns are only funny when you use real guns.

That is all.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
01/24/2009 06:43 PM

You mean like this? One time in Christmas Valley, Ore. there was this woman who grabbed her hand gun and went into the bar and shot at this guy she was mad at. The bullet zipped right above his head so close it parted his hair. A bystander laughed and said come on Sally you can shoot strraighter then that. 

TimmyTheTalkingToilet 11,593 15
01/24/2009 08:50 PM

Yeah, that works.

Or like when I pulled a gun on a friend of mine that decided to come over by suprise in the middle of the night.

That was funny, mainly because I was just wearing a thong in the middle of winter and using a 9mm carbine.

good times, good times.

Pudding Pops the Rhymenocerus 1,379 9
01/24/2009 11:18 PM

from the myspace: "I'm really 14, I didn't want all those shenanigans (yes I said shenanigans) and complications when you're under 18 with friends and whatnot."

hmmm, something's suspicious here....

...you have friends?

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/24/2009 11:36 PM

 yes, suprisingly.

I've heard you have a girlfriend named Rosy Palm. 

peoriagrace 6,166 11
01/25/2009 03:41 AM

T4 don't you mean thong times?

Just Chance 171,275 14
01/25/2009 08:29 AM

Wait a minute the guy is 14? Dude! What grade are you in?

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/25/2009 10:39 AM

why would I tell you that?................

jk

8th.

Mac, the Infamous Stupid Humor Man. 26 4
01/25/2009 10:39 AM

You missed

and hit my cat you jerk.

now I'm a sad mac.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
01/26/2009 08:07 AM

So....emo.

Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/26/2009 07:01 PM

No he's not, his hair doesn't do  that flippy thing.