Government Grant Request
A comedy conversation
by Devil Man  32  5
01/25/2009 01:50 AM 225 views
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Hello my name is Steve, I enjoy recreating works of art with shredded beef jerky and cellophane. It helps calm my phobia of Astronauts with degrees in agriculture.
I am requesting this grant of $9 million dollars so that I may start my own Necrophilia supply store.
Items to be sold are, but not limited to:
- Shovels
- Flashlights
- Step Ladders
- Come-a-longs
- Lubricant
- Air freshener
- Towelettes
- Cyclical hand warmers
- Vice grips
- Fabric softener
- Crow bars
- 30lbs counter weight
- Detergent
- Adjustable 2ft rod
- Grip tape
- Nair
- C-claps
- Ballistics gel
- X-acto knife
- Specialized cemetery camouflaged ninja suit
and much much more.
My understanding is that 18 states have laws against Necrophilia, yet none against Necrophilia Supply stores, which currently their aren't any unless you include Home Depot and the like.
If need be I could disguise the name in a Anagram so that only true Necrophiliacs would understand the meaning.
Instead of "Necrophilia Supply Store" I could use:
"Cornelia Hip Step Soul Pry"
To me, that just SCREAMS "Necrophilia Supply Store", to the average person it sounds like a store that potentially sales Necrophilia supply's, but probably not.
Thank you for your consideration.
-Steve
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Like This? Rate It!
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Chuckleworthy
6 votes
2.8
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0 votes
0.0
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Devil Man 32  5
01/25/2009 01:53 AM
Whoops, I meant to put this under Comedy Article.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.0
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Closet Friend 7,665 11
01/25/2009 10:33 AM
No, that would have been even more wrong...
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0 votes
0.0
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Devil Man 32 5
01/25/2009 01:44 PM
Excellent, thanks!
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0 votes
0.0
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Bonky 75,733 15
01/26/2009 11:14 AM
I like you, Steve. You're silly.
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0 votes
0.0
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Devil Man 32 5
01/26/2009 02:22 PM
Thank you Bonky!
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0 votes
0.0
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Bonky 75,733 15
01/26/2009 08:58 PM
I should warn you . . . I'm slightly retarded, don't like pizza, and have big feet for my height.
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0 votes
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Devil Man 32 5
01/26/2009 09:20 PM
Fine by me!
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0 votes
0.0
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Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/27/2009 08:48 AM
I'm slightly retarded, don't like pizza,
I love pizza! Frost YOOOOOOU!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Bonky 75,733 15
01/27/2009 09:10 AM
Pram, reserve your angst. This means more pizza for you . . . fatty!
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Deck the Pram 80,728 42 does the pizza math
01/27/2009 10:54 AM
I guess you're right.
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Store