Hello my name is Steve and I enjoy lock picking Sun-Maid raisin box's with a blow torch and tampons while reciting Corinthians 3:18 to the tune of "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon.



Sometimes during a waning gibbous moon phase on a Thursday between 6:02am and 6:15am I like to pretend I'm Harriet Tubman by digging a small trench and constructing LEGO railroad tracks to help lost moles on their way to the after world.



My only true hobby is breaking into various forensic labs through out the north eastern United States and stealing skeletal remains, but I replace them with a mixture of play-doh and marshmallow cream so I'm not actually committing a crime.



I was recently diagnosed with a rare form of Grand Mal Seizures that's only triggered by the color light brown followed by short term amnesia , and currently going through my residency as a neurosurgeon.



Often the other staff members toss me their bottles of chocolate milk for an unknown reason.



Afterward they always pat me on the back and say "Thanks a lot Shakewell!". *shrug*



I don't have the heart to tell them my name is actually Steve.

Thud 68,506 19
01/26/2009 09:55 PM

Put.  Down.  The.  Pipe.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/26/2009 10:12 PM

2009's Sisyphean Effort award goes to ... Steve!



BLAM!

Shell Belle 77,143 25
01/26/2009 10:26 PM

You start almost every one of your stories by mentioning that your name is Steve. Please stop it.

Also, you are starting way too many threads, Steve. Slow way down on starting threads, Steve. People get pissed off when you flood the board, Steve. Now I'm not saying that you're completely unfunny or don't have potential, Steve. Some may say that, Steve, but not me. Please lurk a bit, Steve. Lurk, Steve, lurk.

Your name is Steve. Steve. Steve-arino. Stevie. Steve.

Sippin Straw 98,019 37
01/26/2009 11:06 PM

I was recently diagnosed with a rare form of Grand Mal Seizures that's only triggered by the color light brown followed by short term amnesia

So basically, you will go through the rest of your life unable to look at this:

And since it gives you short term amnesia, you'll keep coming back into this thread in a continual loop until you die. 

Devil Man 32 5
01/26/2009 11:07 PM

One to Two post a day is considered flooding the board? Wow...This must be at the shallow end.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
01/26/2009 11:21 PM

One to Two post a day is considered flooding the board?

Only when it's inane.

Chit 178,781 15
01/27/2009 12:06 AM

 This is a WAY longer post than I am usually comfortable with.  



Even when I was doing methamphetamine, I didn't have the nerve to post with the frequency that you are exhibiting. So whatever you are on...you need to Frost-ing SHARE!!!



  I'm not asking for free drugs, just tell me what to ask for!





  As for "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon... I have to comment.



  I had a friend that owed me big-time for bringing him to several 49er games, and I never expected to enjoy this concert.



  Paul Simon had just released Graceland, and had at least 20 people on stage with him, including a VERY GAY percussionist dressed in all spandex, and jumping around like... like a gay percussionist dressed in spandex!!    But fun as hell to watch.





  When it came time to do the song that you referenced, he showed the video that had Chevy Chase in it for the first time for many of us. At the conclusion, the applause was so good, he leaned into the mic, and said, "Frostit!! Let's do that one again" and started at the beginning and played it exactly the same as he did the first time. Only this time, the 10% that were not out of their seats the first time, were dancing in the aisles with the rest of us.



  I have only been surprised like that at two concerts in my life. I didn't want to like them, but they turned out to be the best shows that I never expected to see.





  The other was Neil Diamond.





  You can begin the shaming now!!



 

Stuttering Sq-q-q-uirrel 53,270 54
01/27/2009 12:07 AM

Wow you must be at the shallow end, STFU!

Thud 68,506 19
01/27/2009 12:17 AM

Paul Simon and Neil Diamond?  I think you just gave away your status as an old fogey.

Congrats!

Chit 178,781 15
01/27/2009 12:25 AM

 Paul Simon and Neil Diamond? I think you just gave away your status as an old fogey.

Screw you...I said that I tried hard not to like them.

BTW:   Neil Diamond shares a birthday with two GAB queens that we all love dearly.    SHP and Jane.   Neil was born on Jan 24th 1941,

   (I feel like one of the dorks on Saving Silverman)

Chit 178,781 15
01/27/2009 12:29 AM

And since it gives you short term amnesia, you'll keep coming back into this thread in a continual loop until you die.  

Ohh Shakespeare!! 

I must have it too!!   I have  always liked  the thigh and leg meat.

Thud 68,506 19
01/27/2009 12:32 AM

Chit, don't let it get you down.  You're not really old yet, compared to some.

Why Hassle If Some Things Leave Elders Revealed.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
01/27/2009 07:04 AM

Hmmm, I've been to 9 concerts in my life.

1 - Pat Benetar, back in the day.

8 - Neil Diamond, spanning some 35 years.

Yeah, I'm an old fart too.

Deck the Pram 80,728 42
01/27/2009 08:18 AM

a rare form of Grand Mal Seizures that's only triggered by the color light brown followed by short term amnesia

Well, that's better than short-term diarrhoea .

Test Tube Baby Now In High Def 828 5
01/27/2009 12:38 PM

So chances are good that changing a dirty diaper would be a bad idea.  That's a new way to get out of it.

Smart man.