The words "Bad" and "Ass" together do not have many people in it's rank. So I have dedicated myself to bring you the most bad-assery people of the week. Two rules apply to this.

1) I may not find someone worthy. I'm looking at you Christian Bale.

2) I may just be too damn lazy to look it up. This is likely because I'm too damn lazy. Do the math. Frosters.

But this guy deserves it. I'm going to set it up for you because I like typing. And I like the sound of my own voice.

Let's say at some point in the pathetic existence you call life, you've had an instructer. Maybe it was swimming. Or baseball. Or football. Or (as your Uncle Frank liked to call it) "Cumming for pleasure". Don't worry.....your secret is safe with me. And the world wide internet.

But if your instructer died, after having some kind of emotional attachment to the guy......that would be sad. (Insert sad frowny here).

But let's say the activity in question was SKYDIVING.

On your FIRST Frost-ing JUMP.

Halfway down.

And then he died. What would you do?

I can only think of three things. And they would happen simultaneously. (dumb Frosters link here).

I would piss and Shakespeare (of course). I would also scream louder than a 4 year old girl trapped inside a dark, wet room with giant spiders and bats in it.

Only LOUDER.

And I would not stop screaming until the sound of my bones breaking and my internal organs busting open like so much bad grapefruit drowned it out.

Not only did this guy survive but upon touching the ground, he tried to give CPR to the instructer (or as I like to call him, the "you're dead and I'm not....Shakespeare tard" guy).

I would have given him a couple curb stomps if I would have survived. Just in case he stood up, pointed at me and said "HAHA...we do that to ALL our first timers.......ROOKIE"!

Anyway, THIS Frost-ing GUY gets my bad ass for the week award.

If you want to apply, just do something incredibly stupid (no problem there), and email it to me.

And remember, I love you all. Except those that hate me. Then I hate you. Emerson.

Test Tube Baby Now In High Def 828 5
02/07/2009 08:26 AM

Who are you and what have you done with Spleendingo ?

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
02/07/2009 09:56 PM

I like that the first-time jumper, "learned from tv" to pull on the cords to turn the parachute.  Apparently the instructor didn't think that was worth covering in class.  Good thing he's dead now.

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
02/07/2009 11:33 PM

So he floated to the ground with a dead guy strapped to his back.  Who hasn't done that?

(By the way, it's instructor.

spleendingo 157 7
02/08/2009 12:00 AM

I apologize for this thread. It's horrible. Not just bad, but watching your grandparents in a pissing video on the internet horrible.

I feel as if I've taken a steaming Shakespeare on this page.

Thanks for your comments being the toilet paper to wipe it all up. And letting me know how much I really suck.

I hope you all get genital warts Frosters love you all sincerely... (or is that sincerly?)

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
02/08/2009 12:51 AM

It was utterly lacking in sincerity.  Does that help?