Why/how is Pearl a whale?

How has Canadia gotten away with airing gay, ecstasy-addicted, trustafarian swine in America?

What in the holy hell is a "poo bear?"

Is PETA trying to brainwash our youth and why hasn't anyone told them that dinosaurs don't actually exist any more?

What would possess someone to name an educational show after a guy with an average IQ, who couldn't dress himself, who had a Shakespearety family life, who contributed to the development of the most heinous weapon in the history of the planet, and who didn't know how to use a hairbrush?

Can we legalize cruel and unusual punishment and death by flesh-eating ants just this once?

Sippin Straw 98,019 37
02/18/2009 06:15 AM

Can't help you there, Al.  Since my daughter entered kindergarten, her girl friends have tried to indoctrinate her into the world of Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Camp Rock, and the Jonas Brothers.  I watched about 15 minutes of Hannah Montana a few months ago to see if it was at all age appropriate to let a 6 yr old watch a show about a high schooler.  Any concern I had that the content would be too mature went right out the window.  Fortunately, I don't have cable and any time we're at manhole's place she wants to watch Clone Wars.

Speaking of which, her boy friends' indoctrination includes Star Wars, Batman, Superman, and The Hulk. 

dammitthedog 127 5
02/18/2009 06:28 AM

Why/how is Pearl a whale?

Mr. Krabs was a chubby chaser.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/18/2009 08:56 AM

she wants to watch Clone Wars.

Awesome.

I let my 5 year old watch "The Empire Strikes Back" a few weeks ago, and she's dying to know what happened to Han. I have to wait until ROTJ is on the cable so I can DVR it for her.

mothcleaner 4,106 10
02/18/2009 09:39 AM

Spongebob + Barney = WOW WOW WUBBZY!

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
02/18/2009 09:41 AM

Why/how is Pearl a whale?

 What do you expect when the only thing your cheap ass dad will bring home for dinner is fried crabby pattys. I'm sure Ray Croc's daughter wasn't exactly svelte.

How has Canadia gotten away with airing gay, ecstasy-addicted, trustafarian swine in America?

 Why not, Hannah Barbera aired coke,acid, and pot addicted, rastafarian transients.

What in holy hell is a poo bear?

 The opposite of a piss ant.

Is PETA trying to brainwash our youth and why hasn't anyone told them that dinosaurs don't actually exist any more?

 They're not trying,  they've succeeded.  My daughter cries when the Sarah Mclaclan save the animals ads come on but changes the channel when the Save the children ads come on.

What would possess someone to name an educational show after a guy with an average IQ, who couldn't dress himself, who had a Shakespearety family life, who contributed to the development of the most heinous weapon in the history of the planet, and who didn't know how to use a hairbrush?

 Satan

Can we legalize cruel and unusual punishment and death by flesh-eating ants just this once

Hey, if we can elect a black president, anything's possible.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/18/2009 10:09 AM

You'd better be a parent, Velvetturd, or else we're putting cyanide on your next Papa John's order.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/18/2009 10:09 AM

Oh.

Duh.

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,392 98
02/18/2009 10:47 AM

1. Don't know. 

2. Haven't seen that one. 

3. "Pooh Bear! Winnie the Poooooh Bear! Rumbly, tumbly, climbin' a honey tree!" 

4. Yes. 

5. People don't pay attention in History class. 

6. No, my son loves the WonderPets.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
02/18/2009 11:06 AM

I want to add a few questions.

What is a Higgly town Hero? And how do they go to the bathroom?

Trae Back to her Upright Position 156,790 17
02/18/2009 11:37 AM

Half the shows my daughter watched growing up are no longer on the air.   I'm starting all over again and not being familiar with current children's programs/characters is what scares me the most!!!    Screw labor, I just want to know what a WonderPet is!!!!!!

Shelley Belley 77,143 25
02/18/2009 11:48 AM

My kids have declared themselves "too old" for the Nick Jr shows, which is a relief, except that now I'm subjected to endless hours of Drake and Josh and iCarly.

"Spaceballs" was on this past weekend, and I let the kids watch it. My son absolutely loved it. I think he loved it too much, because yesterday he screamed "Keep firing Emersons!" while he was playing a video game. I had to give him the "words you'll hear adults say but shouldn't repeat" speech.

Anh is here. 11,158 14
02/18/2009 11:51 AM

Also, what the heck is a Uniqua?

Phuc 237,919 21
02/18/2009 11:54 AM

Uniqua is what Uniqua is. She is unique.

Wa.

The Mailman 176,464 56
02/18/2009 12:57 PM

Kids watch imaginary fuzzy pink creatures living happily together in giant mushroom houses, in a world without problems. Adults watch porn movies in which women love ass-to-mouth and facial ejaculations.



It's a fantasy world for all of us.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
02/18/2009 01:02 PM

Great, just great. Now you got me thinking about fuzzy pink creatures who love ass-to-mouth and facial ejaculations.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/18/2009 01:27 PM

What is a Higgly town Hero?

A weeble with a Shakespearety theme song.

And how do they go to the bathroom?

It's like a Russian mamushka doll: You keep on opening the the outside one until your reach the grogan.

Thud 68,506 19
02/18/2009 05:52 PM

What in the holy hell is a "poo bear?"

Here we call him Declan.

I am Lobstercus! 18,570 33
02/18/2009 06:04 PM

Why/how is Pearl a whale?

First of all, Al, I've told you about the dangers of Spongebob. It emits the highest amount of alpha waves out of all the caroons on the air right now. Alpha waves are what your brain makes when it tells the body it's time to sleep. When TV emits alpha waves, your brain falls asleep. Not good.

Pearl is a whale because they had to put a whale somewhere, to make the fat kids feel better about themselves. It made sense to the stoners at Nickelodeon Studios to make her Krusty's daughter, because nobody cares about anyone but Spongebob and Patrick, and they wonder if they really are a gay couple or not.

How has Canadia gotten away with airing gay, ecstasy-addicted, trustafarian swine in America?

 I've never seen them before in my life.

What in the holy hell is a "poo bear?"

It's a bear that is an indescribable color yellowish tan that likes to eat hunny, because nobody can spell.

Is PETA trying to brainwash our youth and why hasn't anyone told them that dinosaurs don't actually exist any more?

It's a marketing ploy. They do it for the money. 

What would possess someone to name an educational show after a guy with an average IQ, who couldn't dress himself, who had a Shakespearety family life, who contributed to the development of the most heinous weapon in the history of the planet, and who didn't know how to use a hairbrush?

 ?

Can we legalize cruel and unusual punishment and death by flesh-eating ants just this once?

Those things are so. scary.

Test Tube Baby Now In High Def 828 5
02/18/2009 07:31 PM

It's gotta be Satan or aliens.  I laugh everyime I see that commercial with Alec Baldwin for Hula tv.  He's an alien that is going to eat what's left our brains after they are moosh mooshed.

Phuc 237,919 21
02/19/2009 01:38 PM

Anyone ever see that interview with Alec Baldwin when he was all sweaty and he rambled on and on about his divorce? Wigga's batShakespeare crazy.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
02/19/2009 01:46 PM

Alec Baldwin is the quintessential Emerson. He was classic in My Best Friends Girl. If you haven't seen it, it's worth watching just for him.

Pubah 56,813 18
02/19/2009 07:44 PM

The Miseducation of My Pubetts ended with Jerry Falwell Vs TeleTubbies

I'm presently taking Peter Pan Pills so I'll never become a Grandparent

Spongeboob...stupid

Hanna Montana...vapid, shallow, pointless waste of time (like my teenage years)

Einstein...a Genius with bad hair

Winnie the Poo...Now THAT's good television

Why can't more kids watch Lambchops?

"this is the song that dosen't end

it just goes on and on my friend..."

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/19/2009 09:00 PM

Kids watch imaginary fuzzy pink creatures living happily together in giant mushroom houses, in a world without problems. Adults watch porn movies in which women love ass-to-mouth and facial ejaculations. Women love to watch men cooking while pretending they like it.



It's a fantasy world for all of us.

Fixed it.

Pubah 56,813 18
02/19/2009 09:49 PM

PO Grace is teh wise...

*Goes back to watching Three Stooges Reruns*

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/20/2009 12:13 PM

I only like the Three Stooges with Curly. Can't let the little one watch or she'd try everything on us.

Pubah 56,813 18
02/20/2009 12:53 PM

Curly and Shemp were masters at the eye poke block...

You'd let her watch gays (Teletubbies) but not the Three Stooges...

Soooo Dissappointed

Phuc 237,919 21
02/20/2009 02:18 PM

Let us hope that the Icelandic economy kills this thing off, cuts it into many pieces, burns the pieces, buries the ashes at sea, and kills all of us who have ever seen this abomination.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/20/2009 03:33 PM

Kids watch imaginary fuzzy pink creatures living happily together in giant mushroom houses, in a world without problems. Adults watch porn movies in which women love ass-to-mouth and facial ejaculations.



It's a fantasy world for all of us.

I want that on a t-shirt.  Or my tombstone.  Whichever.

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/20/2009 03:46 PM

The other day I was sitting in my neurologists office waiting area reading a Highlights magazine when the nurse called me back.  Not only was I not embarrassed by it, I took it with me back to the exam room because I was in the middle of an article about mittens and snowshovels .

Fratberry 283,028 53
02/20/2009 03:46 PM

Wow, that's craptacular.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/20/2009 05:25 PM

Pubah no one is allowed to watch Barney or Telletubbies at my home!

Pubah 56,813 18
02/20/2009 06:10 PM

Youre a mean parent

Stick with Three Stooges and Bugs Bunny...

Whistler Hussein McManus 186,130 44
02/20/2009 07:48 PM

My first kid (now 19) loved Barney, then the Power Rangers.

The next one (now 10) was a Teletubbies fan, then moved on to Pokemon, which he still watches religiously.

The baby (16 months) is only interested in The Price is Right.

Millie 116,988 28
02/20/2009 10:11 PM

I have no children.  But I just wanted to post in support of Alec Baldwin, who may be an Emerson, but is funny as hell.



 

peoriagrace 6,166 11
02/21/2009 02:06 AM

I really like the first season of Pokemon. We also have to watch the Nick Jr. and Disney channel.

Pubah 56,813 18
02/21/2009 02:57 AM

First season of Power Rangers ROCKED!

Especially Bulk and Skull

Chix is in da house 286,601 61
02/23/2009 06:56 AM

"What happened to your thumb?"

It was a innocent enough question.  They guy was missing the tip of his thumb.  I come from a long line of woodworkers who tend to give up a digit or two for the cause in the process, so I figured we would hapily be talking pine shavings in minutes.

Flesh. Eathing. Virus.

And what was worse, was I was trapped next to him in a jury box.  A full jury box. 

"Um, Judge?  Can I be excused?  Juror number 2 has a flesh eating virus."

I have no idea which of your comments made me think of this but it happened to me.  Just this past week.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
02/23/2009 07:18 AM

Kids watch imaginary fuzzy pink creatures living happily together in giant mushroom houses, in a world without problems

Is that before or after you give them magic mushrooms?

Test Tube Baby Now In High Def 828 5
02/23/2009 09:55 AM

Three cheers for The Three Stooges.  And Johnny Quest .  And Tom and Jerry, Wiley Coyote, Foghorn Leghorn, Yosemite Sam and whatever else during the 60's.  Now I know what Trae meant when she said  "Who are you people ????!!!!!!!

Pubah 56,813 18
02/24/2009 06:27 PM

Don't forget the Tazmanian Devil, Chip n Dale, The Chicken Hawk, Granny, Jed, Jethro and Ellie May

They made television worth watching