So, it was my birthday party yesterday.  The standard gathering of friends, playing Guitar Hero World Tour.  Me fixing food because I can't stand anyone else's cooking.  After the food, the drinking starts.  Ok I'd been drinking while cooking but that is beside the point.  So about my 3rd glass of rum, a girl I'd never met before shows up.  Invited by one of my friends I guess.  She is very pretty, and smells great. Wearing my favorite fragrance from Victoria Secret "Very Sexy." She kind of flipped out when I called it out by name like that.  I digress. 

     So we head out to the back since everyone wanted a smoke break from Guitar Hero.  I'm pretty buzzed at this point I don't remember most of the conversation, but I do remember keenly the words come out of her mouth.  "I hated Star Wars...."  What ever budding attraction I had for this girl flew right down the vent shaft like Luke's hand.  I just stood there mouth open in disgust like someone just told me about the Frost-ing midichlorians.  "What? Why?"

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
03/04/2009 03:36 PM

  "I just didn't see what the big deal about it was, I mean I was forced to watch it.  I watched all of them, I really like Jar Jar though, he was so happy and peppy all the time." 

  "You're joking right, this is a joke, you didn't just say that, you didn't just tell me all of that with a strait face.  Who the hell let you in the door?" 

    The rest of the time I spent look at this girl that went from cute to annoying in 4 words.  To top it all off, she talked about how she had a salsa dance partner in her dance company, who had a long braid because he was Native American.  She got him really drunk one night and cut his braid off because she was tired of it hitting her in the face while they danced. 

   I think my friends got her to come thinking I might hit it off with this girl. I guess they didn't expect her to drop these kind of bombs on me, because the suddenly had shocked looks on their faces as she spoke.  Great plan guys. Just buy me a hooker next time, they aren't paid to talk.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/04/2009 03:37 PM

I didn't know farriers could use the internet.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
03/04/2009 03:38 PM

What the hell is that?  All I did was copy and paste... I fail at this new ZUG already.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
03/04/2009 03:39 PM

It doesn't look that way given the first post.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/04/2009 03:39 PM

All the more reason to leave...again.

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
03/04/2009 03:41 PM

Fine, I know when to take a hint...

MungChamp 35,891 35
03/04/2009 03:53 PM

Welcome back, Nutters! 

Nice to Pram you 80,728 42
03/04/2009 04:11 PM

<i>Just buy me a hooker next time, they aren't paid to talk.</i>

Yeah, but it  feels pretty cool when they do...

Not that I would know.

Nice to Pram you 80,728 42
03/04/2009 04:12 PM

Frost-ing Shakespeare.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/04/2009 04:13 PM

Dammit SR I wish I were there. My scalpin blade hasn't been out in a while.

I'd of punched her for the jarjar comment alone.

Hey you should try and find out who that guy is and help him get her arrested for a hate crime; or at least sue her for emotional and physical dammage.

Chit 178,781 15
03/04/2009 04:13 PM

Wow, your race is truly doomed.





You are supposed to be concentrating on things like, if she has child bearing hips, does she have one of those metal thingies in her tongue, can she mix a drink?



  Who cares what old movies she likes. She will be at work when you watch them anyway.

 

Lobster *Butter not included* 18,570 33
03/04/2009 04:15 PM

if she has child bearing hips, does she have one of those metal thingies in her tongue, can she mix a drink

Yes, yes, and yes.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/04/2009 04:19 PM

Jeez if he can't stand to look at  or hear her he's gonna need alot of viagra.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/04/2009 04:22 PM

The Ravos should find a very deep whole to practice his trollish pursuits.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/04/2009 05:27 PM

Hi SR,

Quick question, 

So we head out to the back since everyone wanted a smoke break

Do they get mad when you take the cigars away from the shop?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/04/2009 05:35 PM

For the retarded ones:

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/04/2009 06:32 PM

I don't get it, Is that like their retardo mascot or something?

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/04/2009 06:38 PM

The Star Wars thing -

I mean, sure, yes, I love the movie. Because I was Frost-ing 7 years old when I first saw it. It was like the greatest fairy tale ever told, ever.

BC Bud, shows whats in his pants 13,792 15
03/04/2009 09:31 PM

if she has child bearing hips, does she have one of those metal thingies in her tongue, can she mix a drink

Yes, yes, and yes

But can she SWALLOW...................

...the drink????

Suicide Ranger 27,937 12
03/04/2009 10:54 PM

Oh no not the injun smoke shop joke, how much dust was on that joke when you pulled that out?  Next your going to ask if I cried a tear when they threw their butts on the ground.

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/05/2009 02:48 AM

Did you?

I bet you did, sissy boy. 

TomServo 3,759 7
03/05/2009 04:00 AM

Guitar Hero World Tour and chatting about Star Wars and 3 glasses of rum.

Whooo! You guys sure know how to Paaaarrtaaay!

TomServo 3,759 7
03/05/2009 04:01 AM

 Happy 13th Birthday!

LubeeDoobie 25 5
03/05/2009 05:56 AM

Um...publicly identifying a girl's fragrance is a very ham-fisted way to try and break the ice.  The story makes it sound like she was "eliminated from consideration" but I think it's the other way around.

On the bright side, you've still got slave-bikini-Princess Leia to keep you company.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/05/2009 07:33 AM

The Ravos should find a very deep whole to practice his trollish pursuits.

I already have a whole....

...a whole lot of AWESOME!

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/05/2009 07:53 AM

I've never smelled Very Sexy (pun intended). I wear Rapture.

What? You don't care? Ohhh.

KChiki is a Cheeky Monkey 128,392 98
03/05/2009 08:30 AM

 I wear fruity stuff from Bath & Body Works because I'm a dirty hippie. When I want to feel "elegant", I wear Just Me. (Ignore the un-talented celebrity spokesperson.)

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/05/2009 09:44 AM

Oh no not the injun smoke shop joke, how much dust was on that joke when you pulled that out?  Next your going to ask if I cried a tear when they threw their butts on the ground.

No, but I was going to ask you another question.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

OK, here it goes.

Where did you get friends?

Mothcleaner 4,106 10
03/05/2009 10:37 AM

Where did you get friends?



Same place your wife/ex-wife did: www.cantstandmyhusbandcausemybabydiedsoiwannaFroststrangers.com

www.cantstandmyhusbandcausemybabydiedsoiwannaFroststrangers.com

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
03/05/2009 10:40 AM

Bravo, Bug Washer... Bravo.

Mothcleaner 4,106 10
03/05/2009 10:43 AM

sorry, couldn't help myself

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/05/2009 10:46 AM

Help me help you! HELP ME HELP YOU!

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/05/2009 10:59 AM

Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/05/2009 11:03 AM

Man, the Jedi would make awesome marketers of positive self image and other assorted Shakespeare.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/05/2009 12:05 PM

The Ravos should find a very deep whole to practice his trollish pursuits.

I already have a whole....

 ...a whole lot of AWESOME

BARF ME OUT

I don't wanna know about your Goatse AWESOME HOLE.

Too much info Ravos.

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/05/2009 12:27 PM

Whole. You know, the English language and words and all.

Or apparently you don't know.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/05/2009 12:29 PM

Ahh, let's call the hole thing off.

Phuc 237,919 21
03/05/2009 12:40 PM

My wife could give a rat's ass about Star Wars, but over 16 years, she's come to accept it. She even let the girls watch the original three movies.

Women need time for these things, SR. And even though you don't see yourself ever being able to stomach "What Not to Wear" without wanting to gouge your eyes out with a grapefruit spoon, you would someday tolerate it without carrying any grudge or hidden hatred, for that is what this flower we call love is.

Bug Washer Specializing in Moths 4,106 10
03/05/2009 12:50 PM

for that is what this flower we call love Being whipped is.

fixed.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/05/2009 01:05 PM

Whole. You know, the English language and words and all.

Or apparently you don't know

Ooo Ravos your acerbic wit concerning my spelling is not to be believed, turd licker.

Trae Spawn On Board 156,790 17
03/05/2009 01:19 PM

Happy Belated Birfday, SR.

That being said, I don't think you've seen the obvious here:

She found out about the 'set up' - but after the stalker perfume contest, the Tanto braid, and your love for Guitar Hero (where she undoubtedly realized that all gamers usually like Star Wars or some other Scifi movie) - she decided to have a chat with you 'outside' (where no one could contradict her) and made sure to touch on the points she figured were a MUST for you to like them.

Then, she enjoyed her drinks, free food and mingling and probably met up with the hot guy there (hahahah, ok, I'm kidding) later and had sex whilst throwing cigarette butts and soda bottles out the window of the car.

Trae Spawn On Board 156,790 17
03/05/2009 01:20 PM

contest = comment

Millie 116,988 28
03/05/2009 01:26 PM

HI SR.



 

Le Ravos 63,472 21
03/05/2009 01:55 PM

Ooo Ravos your acerbic wit concerning my spelling is not to be believed, turd licker.

I'm pretty sure turd licker was someone else.

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/05/2009 03:22 PM

No matter how long I lick a turd, it doesn't become any less delicious.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/05/2009 09:56 PM

I'm pretty sure turd licker was someone else.

Ravos sorry I meant Turk licker.