Seeing as how my last threads (chocolate, bacon, State Fair?) didn't get me chased off the board, and I can't sleep, I decided to see what sort of wisdom the Gab.. Zug.. collective is willing to impart on me. Oh, and also I just want to call attention to the fact that.... 



I turn 21 on Saturday. I'm a youngin'. 



I fully intend for my first legal shot to be a redheaded slut, because as a redhead I feel it is my duty. And I like 'em. The drink that is, although redheaded sluts are in no means bad. 

However, after that, I am willing to let as many men and/or women (I don't discriminate) buy me alcohol as are willing. 



Questions: 



You're sitting down the bar from a girl celebrating her 21st birthday, and offer to buy her a drink, 'cause you're a gentleman and hoping to see some clothes come off or watch her make out with the blonde next to her. She's willing to let you pick the drink. What do you buy her, and why? Do you go for a blowjob shot, or perhaps a Chocolate cake? 



What drinks should be avoided at all costs, in your opinion? 



Any bets on how many drinks it takes for me to do something I'll regret later? I'll tell you in advance that I hold my alcohol like a camel holds water. Winner gets pictures if regret occurs. 



 

Thud 68,506 19
03/12/2009 11:53 PM

Drink single malt scotch and avoid anything with Jaegermeister in it.

Until you're Shakespearefaced, then anything goes.

Thud 68,506 19
03/12/2009 11:57 PM

Oh, I almost forgot something.  You are a young redhead who is going to be getting drunk soon?  Please to making with the pictures.

I'll leave it to someone else to ask you to SUYT.

Joo Grrrrl 15,189 12
03/12/2009 11:57 PM

Sooooo, I haven't missed much around here with this idiot posting, huh?

This makes Pram look good. 

Sorry Pram.

Chit 178,781 15
03/13/2009 12:05 AM

This makes Pram look good.





We clearly are looking at this from different perspectives.



She had me at, 21 year old redheaded female, wanting advice on booze.



SCHWING!!

Thud 68,506 19
03/13/2009 12:11 AM

Right there with you, Chit.

Empty Apples 184 5
03/13/2009 12:14 AM

 Joo, I feel I at least have an excuse over Pram. I am young and stupid, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. Pram, however...  doesn't have an excuse?



Oh, and I don't completely flood the board with tons of exorbitant posts, unlike many others. Don't hate entirely. It could be much much worse. 

redwing 3,887 30
03/13/2009 12:38 AM

Although Thuds advice on the single malt Scotch is staid yet true, I think the shot you're looking for is tequila.  The cheaper the better. 

Oh, and SUYT!

it's me 62 5
03/13/2009 12:55 AM

Well I would advise you stay away from the "three wisemen".  They won't be your friend.  The thing you would be regretting later is how many people you manage to vomit on in a single night.  Anyway, I am not a guy so it would be hard to say what I would buy.  If I absolutely had to choose I would go with something sweet and almost innocent sounding such as a "dirty girl scout".  It basically tastes like a mint chocolate chip ice cream.  

Chit 178,781 15
03/13/2009 01:05 AM

 If I absolutely had to choose I would go with something sweet and almost innocent sounding such as a "dirty girl scout". It basically tastes like a mint chocolate chip ice cream.  






Because nobody ever barfed on something overly sweet, boozy, and  with dairy mixed in.



 Listen to Redwing if you want to start off on the right foot.





 if you learn to stomach cheap tequila shots...your bar future will be a bright one!







(as will your dance card)

 

it's me 62 5
03/13/2009 01:21 AM

Chit I wasn't saying she wouldn't puke with dirty girl scouts, most people will if you have enough.  the three wisemen will be a definate puke fest though.  So lay off......Everyone is entitled to there own opinion and those were mine, if you don't like them sit on an upside down barstool and rotate.

Chit 178,781 15
03/13/2009 01:27 AM

I wasn't trying to be snotty...I just have a little experience in this category.





 if you don't like them sit on an upside down barstool and rotate.



--Heh...not again!!

 

it's me 62 5
03/13/2009 01:38 AM

Chit I usually really likes your posts.  It definately seemed like you were attacking mine this time though and it's not something I appreciate.  I am glad you think you know more than me about what girls want or need.  Cheap anything is a sure lead to a hang over the next day.  

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/13/2009 02:36 AM

Stay away from Jeremiah Wheat; and don't mix your grapes and your grains.

Also do not go play at a kids play ground when drunk. I know it's hard; but you'll only get hurt.

Just plain Jeeni 47,795 51
03/14/2009 02:48 PM

I don't think Chit was attacking you - he was just saying - if your aim is puke, then avoid the sweet drinks.

By the way, the dirty girl scout sounds delicious!

Cruz : Pyrophile 9,993 12
03/14/2009 03:08 PM

After all these years of sneaking vodka into your slushy you're finally ready to play with the big boys, first piece of advice the less you decide to wear when you go out the cheaper your night will be secondly all cab drivers are rapists, I'm not saying thats a bad thing just that you might want to bring a change of underwear.

Finally if you moved house in the past few years try and remember that when heading home in case you end up climbing into bed between an elderly Jewish couple at 4:30am, unless you're planning to rob them afterwards.

Have a great time !!

Undermeanie! 101,398 77
03/14/2009 03:08 PM

I always drink fuzzy navels, but I will puke after 9 of them.  So under 8, you may be safe.  Jagermeister is good if you want to spend the night holding a white hanger and keeping it safe.

Chit 178,781 15
03/14/2009 04:44 PM

I am glad you think you know more than me about what girls want or need.





The experience that I was speaking of was merely the fact that my liver resembles a 1950s catcher's mitt.



In fact...order whatever you want and you'll see... old pervs like me usually end up buying anyway.

 

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
03/14/2009 06:41 PM

Note to self: "j920" is really defensive about the stupidest Shakespeare. Make fun for cheap laughs. Cheap like her mom.

Millie 116,988 28
03/14/2009 08:24 PM

I always drink fuzzy navels, but I will puke after 9 of them.  So under 8, you may be safe.  Jagermeister is good if you want to spend the night holding a white hanger and keeping it safe.



I was there when you puked!





Also, girl turning 21--if you die of alcohol poisoning, your parents better not sue this site. 

red the opinionated 600 16
03/14/2009 08:51 PM

...be a redheaded slut...

Huh? What?

*goes back to the Matlock*

On a side note, my 21st birthday fete was full of noblemen, haberdasheries, fine spirits and rollicking rounds of checkers.

And crack-smoking dragqueens, teabagging, and some sticky stuff that still hasn't come out of my shoes.

Chit 178,781 15
03/14/2009 08:59 PM

 And crack-smoking dragqueens, teabagging, and some sticky stuff that still hasn't come out of my shoes.





Am I the only one who thinks that it's weird how it always seems to come around full circle to Pram.





 

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/14/2009 10:01 PM

On my 21st birthday I did 21 bong hits and 21 shots of Old Grand Dad.  Then I went out to the bars with my friends and my sister Mary Margaret.

My friend Kevin came over to me at the bar and said, "I'm going to tell you something, because I have to tell someone, and you're so drunk you'll never remember it tomorrow.  I'm gay.  Gay, gay, gay.  I like boys.  I like dicks.  Gay is me and I am gay."

"Okay," I replied.

Obviously, I wasn't as drunk as he thought.

Cruz : Milk Magnate 9,993 12
03/14/2009 10:21 PM

And you blackmailed him till his arse was raw

Juan Campos 1,173 5
03/14/2009 10:25 PM

Obviously, I wasn't as drunk as he thought..

And based on the fact that you didn't Frost him, you weren't as drunk as he hoped, either.

Lobster with Battery Acid Sauce 18,570 33
03/15/2009 12:00 PM

Easy, delicious shots that will win you money if you bet on them:

The Stoplight.

If you want details, email in profile.

Also, fun and girly:

Tuaca lemon drop

Starburst

Apple-tinis

Buttery Nipples

Empty Apples 184 5
03/15/2009 08:30 PM

 I do not have regrets after this weekend.. that I can remember. 



I started drinking at the Renaissance Festival in Tampa. Several free green beers in a few hours. Irish weekend-- where you can drink green beer and stare at all of the boobs peeking out of the costumes. 



I continued drinking at a friends apartment. Said friend is true friend who went out and bought me several bottles of 3 Olives Vodka and appletini mix stuff. It may be girly and cliche, but I'm addicted to appletinis. Easy on the apple, hard on the tini. 



Dinner at Chili's, because I'm classy like that. I remember drinking a never ending shaker full of margarita, Kahlua and Cream, and 2 tequila sunrises. I've been told I also did my redheaded slut shot, but I don't remember this happening. 

 

Empty Apples 184 5
03/15/2009 08:31 PM

 3 hours later, and I'm in a car on my way to Orlando Paintball. I don't remember who came up with the idea of going up there, but on our way we go. We got lost, luckily, which gave me time to sober up somewhat. As much as I love a good drunken stumble, it's no fun to be drunk in the middle of a paintball field surrounded by 15 guys aiming paintball guns at you. Which still happened to me anyways. Around 6 AM I'm sitting in my friends car, in the middle of the parking lot, doors wide open, in nothing but my skivvies, examining the rising welts. Unfortunately, no pictures exist of this moment, seeing as how all of the cameras were locked in another friends car. Dumbass locked his keys in. 



I woke up several hours after being naked in said car on my bed, yet again stark naked. I don't remember coming in, much less taking my clothes off. Not the first time, won't be the last. 

Thud 68,506 19
03/15/2009 09:03 PM

So, you're trying to say you are just getting warmed up, right?

Empty Apples 184 5
03/15/2009 09:06 PM

Exactly, Thud. 

Thud 68,506 19
03/15/2009 09:15 PM

Sweet.  Just remember, we're here to help.

Empty Apples 184 5
03/15/2009 09:24 PM

 Any by help, you mean willing to accept pictures, right? 

Cause sometimes, a girl can use some help. 

Thud 68,506 19
03/15/2009 09:30 PM

If helping you means accepting various pictures of you, well, I'm willing to help.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/16/2009 03:20 AM

Hey Thud what if she needs "help" which entails you to wear a saddle and briddle?

Or move a piano upstairs?

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/16/2009 05:22 AM

If I was a 21 year old red headed alcoholic slut who spent her birthday naked, going in and out of blackouts and with 15 paintball playing young men, I would spend the next day going to the pharmacy for emergency contraception and then mixing a solution of 50% Clorox and 50% Lysol with which to douch, gargle and give myself an enema.

Luckily, I'm a guy, so all I needed after my 21st birthday was a couple of brillo pads.

Pram The Giant Killer 80,728 42
03/16/2009 05:51 AM

<i>Pram, however...  doesn't have an excuse?</i>

I don't think you understand how this works, so let me show you the difference: 

I am a person posting worthless threads.

You are a worthless person posting threads.

Pram The Giant Killer 80,728 42
03/16/2009 05:53 AM

I don't think I understand how italics work.

coconub 0 0
03/16/2009 07:45 AM

I don't know what turns a girl on, I just have the smooth moves. But I do know that water is a definite no-no. You sober up too quickly.

Lobster with Battery Acid Sauce 18,570 33
03/16/2009 08:03 AM

Actually, retard, water thins your blood a little, giving you a higher BAC, making you stay drunk longer. This theory was personally tested several times over the course of my 21st year.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/16/2009 08:17 AM

And you blackmailed him till his arse was raw

maled

Fixed

Pram The Giant Killer 80,728 42
03/16/2009 12:12 PM

This theory was personally tested several times over the course of my 21st year.

And you call HIM a retard?

MungChamp 35,891 35
03/16/2009 01:31 PM

Actually, retard, water thins your blood a little, giving you a higher BAC, making you stay drunk longer. This theory was personally tested several times over the course of my 21st year.

It was also tested during her 23rd brithday as well.

KChiki - Keeper of the Canned Air 128,392 98
03/16/2009 02:59 PM

 Slippery-Nipple. DUH.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/16/2009 03:13 PM

Things I learned from this thread:

1) The man that I once overheard talking about how much he loves dirty girl scouts was not necessarily a child molester.

2) Buttery nipples taste good.

3) Chit and Thud are dirty old pervs.

4) Lobster's offspring may have fetal alcohol syndrome.

5) Anyone can enjoy a redheaded slut.

MungChamp 35,891 35
03/16/2009 03:48 PM

It is also important to note that Empty Apples lost significant clickies by not posting pictures of her boobs. She received high marks for self deprecation and Pram bashing, but really could have doubled her orbs with some skin shots.

Note to Apples: It's never to late to do the right thing.

Mothcleaner 4,106 10
03/16/2009 03:51 PM

I'm going to have to second mung's statement.

Empty Apples 184 5
03/16/2009 05:48 PM

High potential for orbs noted. 

I'm sure pictures will appear sooner or later. Currently, I'm bogged down trying to get ahead in school work before I go on a cruise at the end of the month. And oddly, I'm in the mood to do homework, and not take pictures of my tits. Which is weird, cause normally I'd be on that like Pram on a shoe.  

However, said cruise will have alcohol and bikinis. I'll put my potential for orbs on layaway until after then, or until I'm having a really desperate day.  

Empty Apples 184 5
03/16/2009 05:50 PM

 Oh, and sorry Pram. (Kinda.) 

It's not out of hatred, but more of the sheer fact that you're an easy target. I'm sure you can understand. 

dinesh 24,862 16
03/16/2009 10:37 PM

jesus christ, how did i miss this thread until now?

BOOOOOOOBS!

also, did no one else notice that red is back and posted?

Ravos, Ruiner of Tastebuds. 63,472 21
03/17/2009 12:41 PM

Apples, it sounds like you need to rethink your priorities.

Bill the asshole 53,270 54
03/17/2009 03:27 PM

And oddly, I'm in the mood to do homework, and not take pictures of my tits

So,

1.) Do a report on the heft of each breast, the size of the nipple and the diameter of your bust as a whole.

2.) Take pictures to support your findings.

3.) Post pictures on Live.

4.) Profit!

Empty Apples 184 5
03/17/2009 03:56 PM

 Squirrely, find me a way to tie in the size, weight, measurements, and pictures of my boobs to elementary education, and sure thing, you got yourself some pictures. 



Wait a minute. 



That's probably not the smartest thing to say, considering the epidemic of teachers sleeping with their students that seems to be going around recently. 



So, maybe later. 

Millie 116,988 28
03/18/2009 01:06 AM

What the Frost is it with you girls showing your boobs all the time?  Don't you have any self-esteem?



If you really think it will get you any clickies, you are are moron.  Don't listen to the stupid idiot men on this site.  And, by the way, I thought John was trying to keep the site funny and relatively clean, which is why the boobs and ass pages are gone.  In what way is a pair of tits funny? 



(Well...anyone remember Xxara?)

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2009 07:40 AM

Millie, I was thinking the exact same thing.

Apples, enough already with the boobs. We all now know you are young and think you have a great  rack, blah blah blah. How about trying to actually be funny for a change?

Ravos, Ruiner of Tastebuds. 63,472 21
03/18/2009 07:49 AM

Apples Millie, it sounds like you need to rethink your priorities.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/18/2009 08:06 AM

I'm not sure which is more cliche, the young woman bringing up her boobs to garner attention or the middle aged women getting pissed about it.

Lobster with Battery Acid Sauce 18,570 33
03/18/2009 08:26 AM

Where the hell is Trae when you need her?

MungChamp 35,891 35
03/18/2009 08:39 AM

It's never too late to do the right thing.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2009 08:41 AM

Who's middle aged now? Think carefully about your answer.

Mothcleaner 4,106 10 checks to see how close by shelle lives
03/18/2009 08:44 AM

umm, you!

Bill the asshole 53,270 54
03/18/2009 11:55 AM

 Squirrely, find me a way to tie in the size, weight, measurements, and pictures of my boobs to elementary education, and sure thing, you got yourself some pictures. 

 

Elementary education I can do:

Dick was wondering about the different sizes of things. Why is a tiger so much bigger than a cat?

Jane came along and said, "Hello Dick, what are you doing?" Dick thought for a moment and said, "I was wondering why some things are bigger than others." Jane thought and thought but couldn't figure it out either. "Hey Jane", said Dick, "Let's go ask Apples"

Dick and Jane found Apples and asked, "Why are things different sizes?" Apple replied, "Because things grow differently". Apples then took her shirt off and said,  "See my breasts? They are bigger than yours Jane. That is because mine grew faster than yours"

(Insert your picture here)                

(find someone named Jane and insert her picture here)

I'll worry about the weights and measurements later!

Millie 116,988 28
03/18/2009 04:01 PM

If you consider 43 to be middle-aged, than I am.  That has nothing to do with my negative opinion of women who think the only thing they have to offer is looks, and are constantly seeking the attention of stupid idiots who are not worth their time.



Any time a woman argues against the objectification of women, men always have to assume that the woman is ugly, old, fat, whatever, and is doing it out of jealousy.  That's such a simplistic explanation (though not surpising, considering the source.)



Anyone here who has met me can tell you that I have no reason to be jealous of any young girl here because of her looks or boob size.  My looks can stand up to any woman here.  The difference is that I do not try to gain acceptance by drawing attention to my physical attributes.  I usually try to be funny--not always (like now)--but usually.



I'm just trying to talk some sense into these girls.  I think most of them need to get some therapy to deal with their daddy issues. 



Girls--just think of this when you want to show your boobs.  What if your dad or his friends were lurking here?  Because many of the guys here are as old or older than your father--not to mention fatter, balder, smellier and more desperate.  No offense--I only speak the truth.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/18/2009 04:52 PM

Don't get your granny panties in a bunch Millie, the  fact is I agree with you. I've got a twelve year old daughter myself and the thought of sitting in front  of the TV one late evening 6 years from now and seeing my daughter yell " whoooooooo!!" as her exposed boobs bounce up and down on a Girls Gone Wild commercial scares the living Shakespeare out of me. It seems like that is their ( young women's) first response if a camera is pointed in their direction in any party situation. Hopefully she'll have a little more sense in her head. That and the fact that she does have a caring father in her life will  help keep her off the pole.( stripper pole you perverts) However,  I'll bet if women went crazy every time a guy dangled his balls out of his drawers and yelled "WHoooooo!!" we'd do it too.

dinesh 24,862 16
03/18/2009 05:24 PM

holy hypocricy, batman.  people who want to throw stones about other people not being funny should check out their own posts every now and then.

as far as boobs go, everyone is entitled to their opinions, i guess.  i won't be ceding the moral high ground anytime soon, though.

Thud 68,506 19
03/18/2009 06:40 PM

For the most part, Millie's post is right on target.  While I am one of the men who has (and will continue to) asked for boobie pictures, I'd like to just say that this is a comedy site and not everything posted here is serious.  If you feel that the route to gaining acceptance here is to show your body parts, well, have at it.  Just remember that you are putting something that should be private out there for general consumption.  And don't be surprised if someone disagrees with you appraisal of the attractiveness/perfection/appeal of your body part(s).

It's just a matter of taste.  Some people have differing tastes from you, some people have no taste at all.

Juan: Animal Collectivist 1,173 5
03/18/2009 07:24 PM

Anyone here who has met me can tell you that I have no reason to be jealous of any young girl here because of her looks or boob size.

Prove it!

Juan: Animal Collectivist 1,173 5 reads the rest of the posts
03/18/2009 07:26 PM

Oh, Shakespeare.

Thud 68,506 19
03/18/2009 07:31 PM

Anyone here who has met me can tell you that I have no reason to be jealous of any young girl here because of her looks or boob size.

Prove it!

I haven't met Millie, but I've seen enough pictures of her to be willing to say that her statement is correct.

Bill the asshole 53,270 54
03/18/2009 08:12 PM

Can we get back to the topic, Apples boobs?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/18/2009 08:25 PM

One of the best things to do is to get a neck tattoo.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/18/2009 08:53 PM

holy hypocricy, batman.  people who want to throw stones about other people not being funny should check out their own posts every now and then.

And people who want to throw stones about  other people who throw stones about other people not being funny should also check out their own posts every now and then. And they should learn how to spell hypocrisy.

You know I don't really mean that, dinesh. Just being a smart ass. I would be the first to admit that not all my posts are funny. Breasts have their place in comedy, but it gets old pretty quick when that's your entire schtick.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/18/2009 08:59 PM

Come on, ladies, be fair. There's just not that many places where we can look at tits on the internet.

Juan: Animal Collectivist 1,173 5
03/18/2009 09:02 PM

Especially not in these challenging economic times.

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/18/2009 09:05 PM

Many of the guys here are as old or older than your father--not to mention fatter, balder, smellier and more desperate. 

I'm 48, so I could certainly be older than her father, but I'm eating better and working out, using Rogaine and Speed Stick and getting laid on a regular basis.  Not to mention the fact that I play the fife.  So even though I'm not making myself available, all the ladies want me.  Especially Millie.

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/18/2009 09:06 PM

I just realized that I'm 47, not 48.  The memory is the fifth or sixth thing to go.

Millie 116,988 28
03/18/2009 09:24 PM

people who want to throw stones about other people not being funny should check out their own posts every now and then.

Hey, I already admitted I wasn't trying to be funny, Dinesh, so kiss my ass.  You may not think I'm ever funny, but obviously, other people do--I didn't get my clickies from showing my tits, that's for sure.  I also never claimed to not be a hypocrite.  I am, in fact, very hypocritical.  So is pretty much everyone else in the world.



Whistler, I will say you probably are not balder than a lot of girls' dads.  You do have a full head of hair.

 

Pram The Giant Killer 80,728 42
03/18/2009 09:35 PM

Oh, and sorry Pram. (Kinda.) 

It's not out of hatred, but more of the sheer fact that you're an easy target. I'm sure you can understand.

Is this English?

dinesh 24,862 16
03/18/2009 10:12 PM

the difference being that i have never once complained that anyone should stop talking about X because this is a comedy board and they are not being funny and blah blah blah.  if you want to be that person, be damn sure you have the pedigree to back it up.

obviously it's not personal, since i love millie to death.  but the holier-than-thou schtick around here is older and more distasteful than the boobs schtick, at least to me.

shellie - nice to see you talking to me again.  hopefully next time it won't be a spelling correction.  :p

Nathynautilus 13 0
03/18/2009 10:48 PM

I gave you five orbs Millie, for your delicious titties.

:}

Empty Apples 184 5
03/19/2009 07:10 AM

 Millie's kinda hot when she gets annoyed. 



As for the whole boob showing conversation, I'm not quite sure how it turned. Obviously, I have some gumption, otherwise I would have just said "HEY! Here's pictures of my boobs!" with a handy dandy link. 



Which I haven't done yet. And unless it's a fantastic picture with something classic going on in the background, I don't know if/when it'll ever happen, simply because I have a lot more going on in my life. So, please don't attack the young girl for showing her boobs when she hasn't shown them yet. Feel free to attack me afterwards though in whatever form you would like. 

Undermeanie! 101,398 77
03/19/2009 07:22 AM

I think that girls who show their tits on the internet are whores.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/19/2009 07:24 AM

I think it's probably the waking up naked and not knowing quite how you got there that has your morality in question. You can't relate a story like that and not expect everyone to assume your going to show your boobs. Who knows what went on while you were "time traveling".  (That's what I like to call drunken blackouts.)

Ravos, Ruiner of Tastebuds. 63,472 21
03/19/2009 07:45 AM

What if your dad or his friends were lurking here?  Because many of the guys here are as old or older than your father--not to mention fatter, balder, smellier and more desperate. 

I am not old enough to be your father. E-mail in profile.

Empty Apples 184 5
03/19/2009 12:10 PM

 Ravos, e-mail is not in profile. 

Just sayin'. Not that I went and looked for it or anything. 

Mothcleaner 4,106 10 winks at, and nudges apples
03/19/2009 01:02 PM

I'm not desperate or old, and my e-mail is in my profile!

dinesh 24,862 16
03/19/2009 05:38 PM

i am desperate and old, but have no profile.

Millie 116,988 28
03/19/2009 07:00 PM

I wasn't attacking the girl who will or will not show her tits.  I think I was attacking the whole dance in which a young girl posts on a message board and all the idiots start slobbering and try to get her to show her boobs, and she acts all coy and the guys continue to pester her, etc. etc..  It's unfunny and pathetic.



Maybe I don't have "the pedigree" to bitch about what I think is or is not funny.  One would have to look at my profile and the number of clickies I've gotten to make that determination.



I don't take what you said personally, Dinesh.  I realize it isn't funny to complain about what isn't funny, and that's part of the problem, not the solution, and for that I apologize.

 

Millie 116,988 28
03/19/2009 07:06 PM

Also, I couldn't care less if someone posts their tits or any other part of their body.  I don't give a Shakespeare about nudity and I don't judge anyone who wants to pose nude.  That is not the point.  The point is I don't want to Frost-ing read about it unless it's funny, and I don't want to see the tits unless they are funny enough to laugh at.



And I am being a Frost-ing hypocrite but I can't think of anything funny right now to add to my post, so whatever.

Bill the asshole 53,270 54
03/19/2009 07:35 PM

 I think we could settle this with a little Millie on Apples jello wrestling.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/20/2009 08:10 AM

If you consider 43 to be middle-aged, 

Umm.....who doesn't?

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/20/2009 10:06 PM

Millie said:  "Whistler, I will say you probably are not balder than a lot of girls' dads.  You do have a full head of hair."

 

Whistler heard:  "You're right, Whistler.  I do want you.  Badly."

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/21/2009 01:54 PM

One time in High school my best friend liked this guy. So he happened to be walking by and some of our other friends started teasing her by pretending they were going to tell him how much she liked him. She started to run off. I grabbed her shirt trying to stop her. She turned to try and dislodge my grip; all that happened was the shirt ened up in her face and she flashed her bra to the guy she liked. She was very angry at me. Who could blame her right. She punched me serveral times which I deserved; as I kept laughing about it all day.

Millie 116,988 28
03/21/2009 07:15 PM

 She punched me serveral times which I deserved.



Oh, I can't imagine you'd deserve that.





And, Whistler, you know me so well. 



43 is considered middle-aged if you are younger than 43. 

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/21/2009 09:15 PM

Middle aged means between 35 and 54 years old, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.  Seriously, though, who gives a Frost?  It's an even more arbitrary categorization than your age in years is.  I know an 86 year old with more life and energy in him than most people in their twenties have.  Besides, did you guys see where Millie admitted that she really does want me?

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/21/2009 10:31 PM

I am almost middle aged? Frost that.

And I can probably drink all of you under the table. And I WON'T be drinking anything with in a shot glass with more than one ingredient.

Amateurs.

Ditdah 123,110 14
03/21/2009 10:32 PM

Meh, I can't speak properly. I can still drink like a pro.

My mom would be SO proud.

FM 21-76 3,163 6
03/22/2009 05:22 AM

I'd treat it like I dealt with the drinky girls while I was in Korea.

I'd buy you shots of 151, trying to get you to puke

I'm so ass ugly, even after you're drunk I wouldn't be getting laid, so might as well have some fun another way.

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/22/2009 07:01 PM

Dit, for your 35th birthday, I'm going to come to Columbus and buy you a double shot.

Of Metamucil.