All of us have had bad relationship experiences. i know i have, post your funny experiences

Once a few years back i had a girlfriend who i thought was nice. Although i was terrible mistaken. she was nice when i knew her, but the more i knew her the crazier she got, and she turned out to be a total whackjob, talking to her self, going on crying fits, and wanting to violently kill her step father.

Later in our relationship i found out her mom got devorced like 6 times. because she was a super cristian and being single for her was worst then marrying any slimy man. so all her previous boyfriends were old strange men, usually with past criminal records. and one such man, she married because she saw him peeping into her windows a few times, and thought i'm a cristian only my husband is supposed to see my married. and thus be it, and thatsame man was a terrible pervert and he was sexually involved  my girlfriend (his wifes daughter) at the time, But it turned out that she didn't actually stop it while she was with me, she just didn't tell me for a long time, i hope she stopped later,

so terrible as it was, i was terrible in love, and she was getting it on with her stepfather, andwho,, my birthday came up after being together for 3 years she broke up with me on my birthday, and she told me she has a new boyfriend. and happens to be her stepfathers son.... who is like 100 times uncooler and unsexier than i am, he is a nerd of nerds, if there were nerd awards he would get a top prize, the guy has fake sword fights with his friends, making swoosh sounds as he flings his hands holding nothing through the air.  a long with that he also dresses up in cosplay of star trek characters in public. and i say unsexy as Frost because there are fat perople, there are obese people, and this man *to quote shallow hal* he doesn't take the cake, he takes the whole factory.

so that was ovbiously the best birthday of my life.

Well now i have a new girlfriend, i moved to china a few years back, and i met her last year,

we have been together for a year now, and i plan to marry her and smuggle her back to canada (legally)  and get married. "http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y295/Durda/1.png" 

And when i think about my old girlfriend i think about how funny it is that i liked her, and how i could have stayed with her, i must have been really desperate!

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/25/2009 01:20 AM

She looks like a nice person. Why do you look sad/worried?

Also please find some engrish to post.

Redwing 3,887 30
03/25/2009 01:29 AM

Ha Ha Ha... You went to China and bought a twelve year old!

Superdan 49 9
03/25/2009 01:37 AM

Why do you look sad/worried?

i have OCD, and not the handwashing one either, But the full blown intrusive thoughts and death around every corner obsession

Chit 178,781 15
03/25/2009 02:06 AM

At the risk of being called an "old perv" AGAIN...I will say that your new girlfriend is very cute. You two are an adorable young couple.





One consideration that you may or may not have considered...how large is her family, and how big is your place in Canada?





(I'm just sayin...)

 

Superdan 49 9
03/25/2009 02:14 AM

One consideration that you may or may not have considered...how large is her family, and how big is your place in Canada?

my place is a moderate size. 2 floors and a basement, front yard, no back yeard though

but i'm only taking her, it's communism taking her is a pain in the ass enough, add her family and i'll go bonkers. Now i'm not saying i don't want them to come, But If they come i am not going to support them, as well as my family. =D

Phuc 237,919 21
03/25/2009 05:45 AM

Would you please bring me back some pork fu?

Thud 68,506 19
03/25/2009 05:47 PM

so terrible as it was, i was terrible in love,

No.  Shakespeare.

Pants 14,252 17
03/25/2009 06:13 PM

I was initially going to comment on your Shakespearety grammar, spelling, and lack of adverbs but I decided to be nice and give you a little piece of advice instead of being a critical ass.

It is no surprise to me that your previous girl friend was crazy;  she was after all dating you.

Your new girl friend is freaking smoking and this should be a tell tale sign for you that some is being used.

If you look at the photo you posted you will see the "I'm just making the rounds" expression on her face.

Stop wasting your time and find a homely looking girl that can cook.  It will save you a lot of money, time, and heartache.  It's only a matter of time, after she gets her citizenship, that she will find someone that is better looking, makes more money, and has a larger penis. 

Juan: Animal Collectivist 1,173 5
03/25/2009 06:21 PM

i have OCD

I'm guessing it manifests itself as an obsessive need to post on an internet message board every 46 seconds exactly. Is that right?

Millie 116,988 28
03/25/2009 07:48 PM

Awww.  You two are cute.



I don't have any wacky relationship stories to share.  I'm pretty much always the crazy one, but I seem sane to myself.  You'd have to talk to the guys I've dumped.

Pants 14,252 17
03/25/2009 07:58 PM

Estrogen is one crazy Frosted up chemical.

Anh is here. 11,158 14
03/25/2009 09:05 PM

What's up with all these old-timers coming back? Was there a reunion letter or something?

Anyways, I don't have relationships anymore because my last girlfriend ended up in a mental hospital (like Bill's wife but funnier). I don't think I was the cause, however, but just to be safe, I'm a total non-commital man whore now.

Chance wears GREEN Undies 171,275 14
03/26/2009 02:08 PM

Dear duperdan,

Your posts hurt my eyes. I have no clue that youre talking about half the time. Please to be stopping pressing the "contribute" button.

Kthanxbyes!

Me.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/26/2009 02:53 PM

she turned out to be a total whackjob, talking to her self, going on crying fits, and wanting to violently kill her step father

Sorry to break it to you, but that's normal behavior for a woman.

And Chit is still a perv.

Chit 178,781 15
03/26/2009 03:12 PM

  



And Chit is still a perv.

SCHWING!!

Phuc 237,919 21
03/26/2009 04:03 PM

True story: I once ate a four-way gel blotter, thinking it was a single hit. This was on a Friday, before a big party. I remember something about an arc welder, a sofa with a hole in it that led to deep within the earth's mantle, and starting to come down and taking another family-sized dose.

Next thing I know, it's Monday, and I found that a girl I met on Friday and I had agreed to live together. So I moved in three days later.

Lasted nine months.

Max Coolbody 183 6
03/26/2009 07:52 PM

 This post makes me weep for the progression of the general public.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
03/28/2009 10:52 AM

Well I was very naive with my first boyfriend. I was 14 almost 15, the same for him. We met at the local skating rink. We went to different schools. Anyway one day I went to one of his soccer games; after which we returned to his home. We were all alone. We had lunch; then we decided to get down to the making out. I was having so much fun kissing! All of a sudden he stops and blurts out he doesn't want to have sex, he believes in waiting. I'm completely puzzled by this. I hastily agree and start the make out session anew. A few minutes later he stops us again and we play a game til his folks get home.

It was a couple years later when I realized he probably thought I was the one who wanted to have sex. I was clueless as to what was really happening at that make out session. The only thing I was interested in was the kissing. I could've kissed all day long. I also didn't realize what the rest of my body was doing to the guy. We were on the couch with me laying on top of him. I had no thought of what the rest of my body was doing; probably squirming all around on top of him. So when he brought up not wanting to have sex; I had no idea why he would bring this up; as nothing sexual was going on. All I wanted was to continue the kissing. 

Girls can be really naive.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
03/28/2009 11:43 AM

$5 says within 7 years we'll hear about her chained up in your basement.

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/29/2009 02:18 AM

I once met a girl who could spell, and who wrote in a grammatically correct manner.  She used punctuation accurately and capitalized words appropriately.

Since I knew she wasn't just after my money (I didn't have any) or a green card (she was a U.S. citizen), I married her.

The end.

D.B. Cooper 1,800 12
03/29/2009 02:25 AM

 Does your new girlfriend have a stepfather?  Does she want one? 

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/29/2009 07:58 PM

Superdan, you look a little light in the loafers to me.  Could your girlfriend possibly be a kathoey?  Not that there's anything wrong with it...

Shell Belle 77,143 25
03/29/2009 08:51 PM

Maybe we should take this thread in another direction.

Whistler is not old, dirty, or a bastard. Discuss.

Thud 68,506 19
03/29/2009 09:01 PM

Whistler is not old, dirty, or a bastard.

At least one of those is wrong.  Discuss.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
03/29/2009 09:05 PM

I've been dating a guy who was at first super awesome, but after a month has (unfortunately in his case) gotten comfortable with being open and honest with me.



In the car to our most recent date he expressed to me that "all women like Twilight" and "female writers are bad because they spend too much time developing characters and emotions and not enough time on plot." I love writing. I hate Twilight.



He continued on to express his firmly rooted faith in God healing (like, laying on hands televangelist bullShakespeare) and people who have psychic gifts from God. Not my thing, but okay. I'm not religious but what someone's personal faith is makes next to no difference to me. I only mention it because this theme reoccurred at dinner, where he brought up Octomom and her fleet of kids, some of whom are mentally disabled. That's when he released this gem:



"I think that some forms of mental disability are caused by demonic possession, like autism, because they're smart usually and just can't interact and express themselves because something is holding them back."



WTFWTFWTF



Then on the way home he told me I should grow my hair out because long hair is prettier than short hair. If he hadn't asked me out again when he dropped me off and called to ask again today I'd have thought he was just trying to run me off for being a godless short-haired female writer.  In conclusion, if you're a closet jesusfreak mysogynist...it's not going to work out between us.

Thud 68,506 19
03/29/2009 09:16 PM

C'mon Taco, give the guy a chance.  Maybe he's...he might be...uh...

Frost it.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
03/29/2009 09:32 PM

C'mon Taco, give the guy a chance.  Maybe he's...he might be...uh...

A wise man once told me, "never Frost a crazy because the crazy will get on your dick."  I don't have a dick, but if crazy works like other STDs I'd rather just walk away now before I'm infected by it.

Pudding Pops the Rhymenocerus 1,379 9
03/29/2009 09:37 PM

Whistler is not old, dirty, or a bastard.

At least one of those is wrong.  Discuss.

Actually only one is wrong. the "not"

Old Dirty Bastard McManus 186,130 44
03/29/2009 11:10 PM

Whistler is not old, dirty, or a bastard.

At least one of those is wrong.  Discuss

I guess it depends on your definition of old, and which definition of dirty you're using, but I'm standing by all three.

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 63,472 21
03/30/2009 07:27 AM

i'm a cristian only my husband is supposed to see my married.

I don't even know what this means.