For the last year and a half, I've been working at an Internet startup, which I recently left to pursue a full-time career as entrepreneur and author. My co-workers thought it would be entertaining to unleash an Office Prank War on me during my last two weeks, turning my workplace into a minefield of practical jokes. While they were expecting me to retaliate with a Global Thermonuclear Prank on my final day, I decided it would be funnier to do nothing, keeping them anxiously looking over their shoulders for the next year, wondering when I would strike back.

Instead, I did something else during my last day at the office: I sawed a conference table in half.

Mike Judge would be proud.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/26/2009 10:15 AM

Hmmm. A screwdriver would have probably taken those legs right off. ( me thinks thats how it got in the room in the first place.) Also, it looked to me like the half pieces would have been just as difficult to get out of the doorway as the whole thing. But I guess we would have missed out on all that comedy gold if you would have done it the easy way. Whevever I'm in the mood to laugh I put it on DIY network and watch them cut wood.

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
03/26/2009 11:03 AM

Whenever Spicey uses his circular saw, I'm scared he might accidently cut his leg in half.  That or the dining room table.

Analog 9,608 19
03/26/2009 11:37 AM

OMG - No wonder you quit - How dull must it be in a office where a skilsaw can cause so much excitment.

HarryOx 81 4
03/26/2009 11:46 AM

Shortly thereafter, John cut a few other pieces of wood from middle management in half as well...

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
03/26/2009 12:54 PM

And as everyone's buddy reminds us: Always remember your safety glasses!

Nice touch, John! 

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/26/2009 01:52 PM

In Firefox 2.0, the video covers up the text:

Any else have this problem? How about that problem where you sneeze too hard and the urine shoots out your wiener? Anyone? Anyone? Chance?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
03/26/2009 01:55 PM

Oh, yeah: you lay the table on its side, and pivot it around the door frame.

What, you think they built the building around it?

Chance wears GREEN Undies 171,275 14
03/26/2009 02:13 PM

Any else have this problem? How about that problem where you sneeze too hard and the urine shoots out your wiener? Anyone? Anyone? Chance?

Sometimes my weiner gets irritated.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
03/26/2009 02:59 PM

The legs were bolted on using some type of octagonal allen screw that we were unable to find a suitable wrench for, despite calling every hardware store in a 50-mile radius, as well as Bob Villa.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
03/26/2009 03:00 PM

Also:  Firefox 2.0?

Are you running that on Windows95?

Chit 178,781 15
03/26/2009 03:11 PM

Most likely a TORX wrench. People often mistake them for an allen screw.







 

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
03/26/2009 03:20 PM

The legs were bolted on using some type of octagonal allen screw that we were unable to find a suitable wrench for, despite calling every hardware store in a 50-mile radius, as well as Bob Villa.

Ah yes, the dreaded security screw. Just bustin' your balls, Hargrave. Good luck on your new career of Frost-ing off. I'm just jealous is all. But you better really bring the funny now though. It's no longer just a hobby. You're a professional now and we expect our guts to be burning with laughter. A little something for our monthly dues. You guys are paying John dues too right?

Just plain Jeeni 47,795 51
03/26/2009 04:04 PM

I agree with Dogs. Face the legs to the right, not the left - but it wouldn't make for a good comedy article.

Thud 68,506 19
03/26/2009 05:52 PM

Wiha tools are nice.  They have such a nice selection of unusual tool sets.  I especially like their insulated driver handles.

</tool-dorkage>

Professor Nutbutter 181,311 35
03/26/2009 09:32 PM

 http://www.amazon.com/Anytime-Tools-AT200430-Screwdriver-Reversible/dp/B000F7DWMQ/ref=pd_bxgy_hi_img_b

And you call yourself a geek.

Pants 14,252 17
03/26/2009 10:05 PM

And you call yourself a geek.

Heh hemmm.  I know you can create a hyper link slacko.

Fratberry 283,028 53
03/27/2009 11:59 AM

Heh.  TORX.  What a great word.  Torx torx torx!!!

ionymous 17 6
03/30/2009 12:15 PM

The only thing funny about this is the scene that was cut between 43 and 44 seconds.  You know...  the one where you say "The table is vanquished!", push on the table, nothing happens, and you look like a jack hole.

And then you realize the vertical board under the table still needs to be cut.

I bet all your co-workers saw that coming but didn't say anything.  Ahh hahhahahahaha!

But a little video magic can make anyone look cool, right?  Ahahahahaahaa!!!  Oh god...  it hurts!

xentar 473 7
04/07/2009 02:00 AM

Anyway, what's an erect banana peel have to do with pranking?..

xentar 473 7
04/07/2009 02:00 AM

Anyway, what's an erect banana peel have to do with pranking?..