I'm looking for a new career in which to bide my time.



Here are some jobs I'm considering:



Hockey player

Parachute tester

Cognitive scientist

Goat vet

Prophet

Andy Warhol impersonator

Professional compass adjuster

Knitter of humorous cummerbunds for the blind

Professional origamist

Criminal lawyer (not too redundant!)

Condom tester

Rock star

Bra designer

Odor judge

Gum buster

Pollen collector

Carny

Peddler of macrame yarmulkes

Pickle taster

Teacher of English in England (or Teacher of T-       glottalization British accent in America)

Teacher of the Bony-M (a newer version of the Provo Three Step)

Hip surgeon

Tuba player

Banana gasser

Translator of ancient lost papyri

Porta-potty servicer

Safe cracker

Sex toy tester

Queen



I am completely open to other ideas, so please launch them my way. Thank ye.

Thud 68,506 19
04/01/2009 06:50 PM

I'm going to suggest you avoid any job that requires decisiveness.

MungChamp 35,891 35
04/01/2009 07:22 PM

Have you  considered Cyanide tester? The best part about the job is that we all get paid if you succeed!

Oh and SUYAlbinoT, dear.

tHe HaLogEn aNaTomY 19 4
04/01/2009 07:38 PM

 My, but don't chat acronyms SUK BULBOUS !

(but maybe another time with the tits, friend)

:) :P :> <3 :. :'{_+$%:.<**$%#@

MungChamp 35,891 35
04/01/2009 07:50 PM

How about now? 

Semicolon closed parenthesis.

tHe HaLogEn aNaTomY 19 4
04/01/2009 07:56 PM

 Only if you show me your hung, mung

Shell is Chuckleworthy 77,143 25
04/01/2009 07:57 PM

mY sTinKin' dAy jOB

I see what you did. You made all of the small letters capitals and all of the capitals small letters. How clever!

tHe HaLogEn aNaTomY 19 4
04/01/2009 08:03 PM

 WRONG! A+++

manhole 21,656 29
04/01/2009 08:50 PM

Crash Test Dummy?

Shell is Chuckleworthy 77,143 25
04/01/2009 09:06 PM

WRONG!

So I am. I stand corrected. 

You're still darn clever, though. Really.

Thud 68,506 19
04/01/2009 09:17 PM

You're still darn clever, though. Really.

Seriously.  She's not kiding.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/01/2009 10:18 PM

P|3453 u53 4 |4n6u463 7h47 15 3451|y und3r5700d 8y 7h3 4v3r463 u53r. 7h4nk y0u.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2009 08:36 AM

This kid is a contender for most annoying Live/GAB schtick ever.

It'll take more than p53ud0 |337 5p34k to top "Guy who spoke only in quotes from 'Airheads' for six years before an angry GAB mob skinned him alive and made shoes for Pram out of him."

I hated that guy.

KChiki fools YOU!! 128,392 98
04/02/2009 08:56 AM

 EEEEEEEKK!!!!!! A BUG!!!

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/02/2009 09:41 AM

Why don't you go back to your old job? I heard hooking pays well.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/02/2009 01:39 PM

Hooking is indeed lucrative.

I've collected six souls already this week, and tomorrow, Glen Beck is coming in to give us the last, rancid drop of his.

tHe HaLogEn aNaTomY 19 4
04/02/2009 01:59 PM

You're right. I went back to hooking. I'm now working for the federal government.