In the before time, Bob Johnson issued a comedy challenge to ZUG to help come up with some great article titles.

So, for the month of April, my gift to John will be to add some content up in this beeatch and give a half assed attempt at humor based on your clickies.

The month of April has some good events to write about, including Passover, Good Friday, Easter, Holocaust Remembrance day and Administrative Professionals Day. I will be heading to Cancun at the end of the month for a wedding, so there might be something there to write about or I can just kick it with my friends from La eMe.

Some things about me for material could include the fact that I own a company and regularly hire and fire people. And I am a registered sex offender. <-----Just kidding, I would never register. and have been active in l4RP1n' pR0N.

However I leave it to you. Funniest rated topic are the ones I will gravitate to, but ultimately I will chose which ones to write. However, if I notice a certain someone posting about topics including generic viagra, bragster.com, banner-fisting-felching.org or any of the like, I will pull this contest off the board.

The forum is now open for discussion. And Go!

KChiki fools YOU!! 124,281 89
04/02/2009 10:42 AM

 Funniest rated topic are the ones I will gravitate to, but ultimately I will chose which ones to write.

Read: "Frost you, I do what I want."

Mothcleaner 3,704 9
04/02/2009 10:53 AM

Make a bacon suit, wear it to an over-eaters anonymous meating, a dog pork, a peta meeting/vegetarion restaurant, a synagogue or some jewish celebration.

Chit 178,088 15
04/02/2009 10:56 AM

Happy Endings Pt 2 (Cancun Edition) 

Chit 178,088 15
04/02/2009 10:57 AM

How Mung saved ZuG and all he got was a t-shirt. 

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/02/2009 11:14 AM

This is why I will name my third child "Mung."

Unfortunately, I just got a vasectomy.

Seriously, may I suggest that people focus on funny article titles, which are the most useful.  Think, "What type of funny article headlines would make the homepage of Digg?"

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/02/2009 11:16 AM

"Top 3 Hidden Sexual Subliminal Messages in Disney Films."

Wino Willie McManus 183,262 42
04/02/2009 03:27 PM

I would like to see, nay, I DEMAND a comedy article about John's vasectomy.  I can't believe this is the first we're hearing of it.

tHe HaLogEn aNaTomY 19 3
04/02/2009 03:32 PM

 Snip it good! John?

MungChamp 35,886 35
04/02/2009 03:32 PM

I wonder if the Do-It-Yourself Vasectomy will be included in the Mischief Makers Manual? 

Just plain Jeeni 43,386 49
04/02/2009 03:46 PM

I'd love to see a "how to submit an article" article. I know Syncope and/or Mung would give some very helpful and funny advice for those of us who aspire to submit (articles).

Pants 14,218 17
04/02/2009 04:51 PM

I believe Peoriagrace coined the name "porno bacon" which just plain brilliant but Bacon lingerie is where the money is today.  Think of all the obese nymphomaniacs out there.  This Shakespeare is a gold mine.

Pants 14,218 17
04/02/2009 04:54 PM

Do-It-Yourself Vasectomy

Materials needed:  exacto knife, staple gun, Three 1/8" 18 gauge staples, and zippo

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/02/2009 05:07 PM

3 Most Famous Celebrities Who've Had Vasectomies

Pants 14,218 17
04/02/2009 05:14 PM

How about "Non-scratch glass cleaner."

This title will certainly crash some Frost-ing servers.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
04/02/2009 05:43 PM

The "Nursing Bra made out of the ShamWow" article.

Thud 66,695 17
04/02/2009 05:56 PM

"Crack Whores Don't Bounce As Well As Potheads And Other Important Facts:  Musings From Atop A Cancun Hotel."

Thud 66,695 17
04/02/2009 06:03 PM

"Petition to change Easter Sunday to Holy Zombie Day"

Thud 66,695 17
04/02/2009 06:04 PM

"Why the Pope likes his followers to kill and devour fish."

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
04/02/2009 06:09 PM

"Secrets to living with a person who smells like feet."

Thud 66,695 17
04/02/2009 06:32 PM

"Why the month of April was given a girl's name."

Max Coolbody 183 5
04/02/2009 08:10 PM

Five things you can say at the dinner table on Easter that will ensure you never speak to your family (or a particular family member) again.

Pants 14,218 17
04/02/2009 08:29 PM

Make a bacon suit, wear it to an over-eaters anonymous meating, a dog pork,

Exactly how many dog porks have you participated in your life?

Chit 178,088 15
04/03/2009 12:23 AM

The secret to accurately guessing her muff.





And other important and obvious signals that she might be giving off.

 

Chit 178,088 15
04/03/2009 12:54 AM

A Jew in Mexico





How to find a TRUE bargain, south of the boarder.

 

Chit 178,088 15
04/03/2009 02:50 AM

If I Wasn't Married, I'd Be All Over That Shakespeare.



Stuff that single guys take for granted.

 

MungChamp 35,886 35
04/03/2009 08:59 AM

I was thinking of making the final article more of an expose. Something like:

"Mexican Mafia Invades Señor Frogs"

"Wet Backs Gone Wild!"

or

"Got Cocaine?"

Keep those ideas coming people.

Bill the Squirrel 53,130 53
04/03/2009 09:48 AM

How about this one:

I had to fire the groom, at a wedding in Cancun.

Fratberry 277,318 52
04/03/2009 10:00 AM

How's about "How a racist got sued for discrimination and lost his company"?

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 11:54 AM

3 Hollywood Celebrities Who Are Secretly Balding

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 11:54 AM

3 Worst Cover Versions of Songs That Ruined the Original

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 11:55 AM

3 Badass Rock Songs That Really Do Use Cowbell

(Besides "Don't Fear the Reaper")

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 11:57 AM

I love the bacon porn/bacon lingerie idea, I'm just not sure what it would entail that we could actually do on a limited budget.

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 12:00 PM

3 Least Challenging Videogames of all Time

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 12:00 PM

Other Rejected Celebrity Adoptions

(Besides Madonna's)

John Hargrave 128,123 71
04/03/2009 12:01 PM

3 Most Overused Internet Jokes

Jolson - wtf?! 16,156 9
04/03/2009 12:10 PM

"Make your own Halloween costumes out of your family members for fun and profit!"

Chit 178,088 15
04/03/2009 03:29 PM

TGIF in BINGHAMTON, NY. 

Just plain Jeeni 43,386 49
04/03/2009 04:05 PM

"How to effectively spam up a thread and crash a site simultaneously."

Pants 14,218 17
04/03/2009 04:07 PM

3 Least Challenging Videogames of all Time

I believe the title that holds the number one spot is called

"One night in Paris"

Just plain Jeeni 43,386 49
04/03/2009 04:20 PM

This idea has a very flexible format. You can surprise us with what you choose.

"I ate three boxes of 'Fruity Pebbles'. Here's how it all came out. -A report from the throne."

Some other examples:

I ate my shorts.

I drank a quart of olive oil.

I muled home from my vacation.

MungChamp 35,886 35
04/03/2009 05:03 PM

How ZuG contracted Lyme Disease.

Chit 178,088 15
04/03/2009 05:10 PM

You Can Buy ANYTHING in Mexico.





How to organize an impromptu bachelor party in Cancun, and learn key phrases like,

"demostración del burro".

 

peoriagrace 6,153 11
04/03/2009 09:17 PM

Guess who queefed?

Or names that match the person: John Burns(actually is severely burned and a real person)

How to get some from cooking baked goods!

Just plain Jeeni 43,386 49
04/05/2009 02:00 PM

3 Badass Rock Songs That Really Do Use Cowbell

Sorry, I just can't wait for the article. Great cowbell in this song.

Just plain Jeeni 43,386 49
04/05/2009 05:11 PM

"Why only crazy people prefer the number '3'"

MungChamp 35,886 35
04/06/2009 08:48 AM

First winner goes to Chit with his suggestion: "If I Wasn't Married, I'd Be All Over That Shakespeare: Stuff that single guys take for granted."  I am simply too lazy to scroll past the top.

If you have any other ideas put them in, otherwise, stay tuned.

Chit 178,088 15
04/06/2009 03:06 PM

First winner goes to Chit with his suggestion: "If I Wasn't Married, I'd Be All Over That Shakespeare: Stuff that single guys take for granted."





Wow, all the credit for that one goes to all my married buddies who say that phrase every time we are at a bar somewhere, where there are one or more hot 22 year olds that would never give any of us the time of day.

I can hardly wait!!

Wino Willie McManus 183,262 42
04/09/2009 02:54 PM

I'm working on this for real.  It's just that I'm afraid to commit until I have at least 4 of the articles done.  I never know when I'm going to get called away on business, or have a sick kid to look after, or get audited by the IRS or something, so I figure I better be most of the way there before I start posting.  I've got two articles done and two more about half done.

At least three of the articles are going to be from things suggested in this thread.  I'm still looking for topic number five.

Stay tuned.  The barrage will probably start on Sunday.

And no, I don't care that it's Easter.  I don't like hard boiled eggs, peeps or the risen Christ.

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 62,361 20
04/09/2009 03:05 PM

And no, I don't care that it's Easter.  I don't like hard boiled eggs, peeps or the risen Christ

But what about risen bread?

TheVelveTurd 6,551 10
04/09/2009 03:08 PM

Top 5 common houshold items used as mastebatory aids.  Male and Female versions.

Jeenanimator 43,386 49
04/17/2009 02:38 PM

Overly late entry:

If I Wasn't Married, I'd Be All Over That Chit.