I had a freaky moment earlier today when I thought I had lost all my source files for "Prank the Monkey," including original artwork, scans, and my entire manuscript.  Then I realized I just moved it to another directory.

They should make a holiday called "Back Up Your Frost-ing Files Day" where they implore all of us to get off our asses and back up all the priceless data that we keep saying we're going to back up, but never do.

Anyway:  what's the WORST computer meltdown you've ever had?  We will judge your response not only on lost time, and lost money, but also irreplaceable files that may have destroyed forever.  And funniness.

Test Tube Baby On The Lam 828 5
04/06/2009 07:25 PM

It would be a problem if I lost the files on where all the bodies are buried.

Thud 68,506 19
04/06/2009 07:30 PM

They should make a holiday called "Back Up Your Frost-ing Files Day" where they implore all of us to get off our asses and back up all the priceless data that we keep saying we're going to back up, but never do.

Around here that's referred to as "Thursday".

Midgets 96,128 48
04/06/2009 07:39 PM

Once during a drunken stupor I doused a emachine with lighter fluid and set it ablaze.

To be perfectly honest though, I would have done it while sober too.

Analog 9,608 19
04/06/2009 08:12 PM

Once during a drunken stupor I doused a emachine with lighter fluid and set it ablaze.

To be perfectly honest though, I would have done it while sober too.

Certain CRAPs (oops, I mean Macs) will do that all on their own.

The Mailman 176,464 56
04/06/2009 08:23 PM

One day I lost some files on my computer, so I asked the ZUG community for help on how to recover them. Someone told me that the solution to my problem was "FDISK" so I tried that but it only made things worse.

SFwriter 17 6
04/06/2009 08:28 PM

With backups, speed is of the essence.  If it takes too long, no one is going to do it.  Here's my secret:

When doing backups, it just takes about three seconds if you port all saves to devce=null

Pulling saves from device=null seems to be problematic, but that's a problem for the IT department...

Analog 9,608 19
04/06/2009 08:30 PM

The worse/best computer melt down in my case happened on a day when I had a real job that was NOT in the IT/Desktop area.

I had a guy working for me and I needed a new hard drive installed in his machine. The "desktop support" Shakespearehead (whom we will make up the name "Paul Devlin" for) made the biggest production out of installing a hard drive that I have ever seen.

After 4+ hours of attemping the install (with the employee whining and my boss bitching) I lost it on Paul "the dumass" Devlin and told him what a moron he was.

Needless to say we had quite the vocal argument in the middle of office which turned out to be really bad because for one, I was in the right and for two it was friday (and I like to have a couple on Friday).

I booted the boob's machine from a DOS disk (6.22 FTW) and proceeded to format his entire hard drive and to make sure I did the job right I pulled the power cable out at 23%.

I can't tell you the joy I felt from Mon - Wed when dipShakespeare spent 100% of his time trying to get his machine back.....

Analog 9,608 19
04/06/2009 08:31 PM

One day I lost some files on my computer, so I asked the ZUG community for help on how to recover them. Someone told me that the solution to my problem was "FDISK" so I tried that but it only made things worse.

Lies, fdisk in the world of windows would always ALWAYS make things better!!!!!

AUS Lachlan 49 5
04/06/2009 08:39 PM

ah, i was on one of the many computers at my university... and went to plug my external hard drive into the wall socket... i forgot that the last time i unplugged it, it wasnt turned off on the acctual hdd.

so i plugged it in and the hdd starts smoking... (oh crap) which triggers a safety switch... (oh crap OH CRAP OH CRAP) and the entire computer room went pitch black.

as i was legging it through the uni with my slightly warm hdd, i realised that every corridor i went through had no lights...

the next day i found out (via the news on the local radio station) that an entire university blacked out yesterday, resulting in the loss of over 1700 assignments, the destruction of our library network, and 4 tests had to be redone the following week.

again... my previous thougts (oh crap)

Thud 68,506 19
04/06/2009 08:52 PM

So, did you fess up to what you had done?  Or did you just sit there with an innocent expression on your face, claiming you have no idea what happened?

I thought so.

AUS Lachlan 49 5
04/06/2009 09:04 PM

you're joking right?... would u have fessed up strait away knowing you would get thrown out of university? i still had a year left...

i told them at my grad

Thud 68,506 19
04/06/2009 09:05 PM

The worst computer meltdown I've experienced?  There was a shooting where I worked a while back.  Besides the people who died, over one hundred computers or terminals were damaged or destroyed, along with a few rack systems.

Recovery of the systems took months.  Not sure how much it cost to repair/replace all the equipment and recreate the lost data.

Thud 68,506 19
04/06/2009 09:06 PM

Oh, I forgot to add something:  poop.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/06/2009 10:00 PM

The worst computer meltdown I have had was on this one day (we'll call it Sunday), and I posted a whole bunch of inane Shakespeare to my favorite comedy site.

Parameter Random Access Mullet 80,728 42
04/06/2009 10:12 PM

I lose a hard drive a year. It happens so much that now I just laugh and buy a new one.

I equate it to a promiscuous lady and her abortions.

Dianada 57,835 109
04/06/2009 10:25 PM

About a month ago, my video card thingamajigger popped its various tops and started oozing this weird creepy substance.

Taco Murderface Murderface 61,976 36
04/06/2009 10:28 PM

I fry laptop hard drives pretty regularly, but I backup everything on a regular basis so it's not a big deal for anything but my wallet.

My best friend and his roommates download a lot of porn.  Like, more porn than you can watch in a day.  He downloaded a pretty ferocious virus and managed to lose all of the picture scans of his mom and childhood (the originals are in the hands of a sibling he doesn't talk to).  This was, oh, a month after she died from cancer.

Thud 68,506 19
04/06/2009 10:32 PM

About a month ago, my video card thingamajigger popped its various tops and started oozing this weird creepy substance.

I think your husband is playing a trick on you.

Just plain Jeeni 47,795 51
04/06/2009 10:40 PM

I was working as a contractor down in Mystic and had about 100 Flash animation source files that I was working with off a remote server. I would copy a few files to my hard drive, work on 'em, then upload to the server and delete the file on my desktop.

It was pretty tedious. To make things go quicker, among other things, I began using "Shift-Delete" to get rid of the files on my desktop.

I had just finished with a few files and "shift-deleted" the files on my desktop.

Or so I thought.

Odd. It was taking a really long time to delete 5 files. I realized, it was deleting more than 5. Shakespeare! Shakespeare! Shakespeare! Quick as I could, I hit the "Cancel" button, but not before deleting about 40 files on the server. I sweat a lot and instantly gained 30 grey hairs.

In always wanting to be honest, and although very embarrassed and fearful, went and told my boss to see if I could get them back. He was very understanding. (Thank God!!) He discretely called tech support to get the files from back-up. We found the files could not be pulled from back-up. Big back-up glitch. (Bad timing.)

A programmer saved my ass with a reverse-engineering program. I won't explain the technical details. He was able to rebuild all except 15 of the files. Those are lost forever. Good luck to the next person to work on that job.

Lesson learned:

On Windows, "shift-delete" puts files not in the trash, but in the "you're-never-EVER-getting-these-Frost-ing-files-back" folder.

Just plain Jeeni 47,795 51
04/06/2009 10:42 PM

Just a little joke to ease the tension:

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.



They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.



He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."



"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."



Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.



He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"



God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

Parameter Random Access Mullet 80,728 42
04/07/2009 12:43 AM

He downloaded a pretty ferocious virus and managed to lose all of the picture scans of his mom and childhood

Does he have any pictures of his mom and adulthood? Want to see some?

xentar 473 7
04/07/2009 01:29 AM

Well, a few years ago I bought a $400 videocard and inserted the 12V HDD power plug with reversed polarity...

MungChamp 35,891 35
04/07/2009 11:44 AM

I don't know what kind of bad juju you put out there with this thread, but I decided to go out and get a terabite extrnal drive to backup my precious pictures, videos, animal bondage and articles in progress which currently reside on my extrnal drive.

As I hooked up the firewire to begin the backup process, I started getting crazy error messages and a few blue screens of death. Now everytime I attach the current drive I am asked to reformat and the drive shows no content. So... greatest meltdown is in progress. You should have your articles in 0's and 1's as a team from India works on the data recovery. And I guess I didn't need my wedding pic's, vacations around the world and grainy low budget amateur porn videos. I will always have the Bank of America bills to treasure as a keepsake.

Gonzo 20,522 17
04/07/2009 12:22 PM

I was in the USSR working at this power plant and

oh.   COMPUTER.

nevermind.

tuituiman 175 7
05/06/2009 04:55 PM

This wasn't my melt-down, but a woman's whom called me in (I was a IT Tech).

Her computer would no longer print. "It just doesn't print there anymore" she said pointing at the.... at the.... FLATBED SCANNER!

"Well... i'm sure you can use the printer (10 cm away from the scanner) to print documents."

"Yeah" she says, "I guess, I just didn't wanna have to learn a new way."




Some people shouldn't own computers...

Lobster is Laying a Egg! 18,570 33
05/06/2009 05:01 PM

You realize that "IT Tech" is redundant, right? Like people who say "ATM Machine". The M in ATM stands for machine. GAH!

Woof Woof Dammit 127 5
05/06/2009 05:41 PM

Super cyber AIDS.

The slap to the face that you need to back up your files.

My computer got this approximately a month ago. It was almost unkillable. Too bad computers don't last very long when you drive a soldering iron into them while pouring acid onto the keyboard.

Cognition 19 5
05/06/2009 09:11 PM

Some years ago, I was assigned to do a cross-examination paper on the poetic styles of Walt Whitman and Emily Dickinson. The night I finished, I printed it out and I did something I don't typically do before by hand; proofread. Upon completing this task, I saved it on my laptop and went to bed.

I slept well that evening.

This was one of the few times I finished a paper within days of a deadline rather than my usual hours (minutes one time.) The next day I went to the writing department at my school to have a peer-reviewer take a look see at my work and he applauded my paper. I was proud, and knew that everything would be alright from that point on for that semester. Sure I had a physics midterm, but hey, I was going to get an A on my Dickinson/Whitman paper, to hell with projectile velocity.

The day before my deadline, I decided to take one final look at my paper on my laptop, and it exploded.

"PPFFTTZZZ" That is the sound the laptop made, and much like Whitman's demise, I was about to have a paralytic stroke. Smoke came from the vents on the outside and like a hot dog left too long in the microwave, the battery pack popped open leaking this black liquid. It fried the hard drive as well, so there was no chance to save my 15 page paper.

At this point I knew what I had to do. I went to my school's library and made some crazy paper on the fly. I drank endless energy drinks to the point where my urine became muriatic acid.

I turned in my paper and got a B+. I wasn't happy, so I went and spoke to my professor. He laughed and said "Well, this is an A paper...but I gave you a B+ so you can work harder next time."

Gah.

Since then I backup everything.

tuituiman 175 7
05/07/2009 03:42 PM

"You realize that "IT Tech" is redundant, right? Like people who say "ATM Machine". The M in ATM stands for machine. GAH!"

I do realize that IT Tech is Redundant, but I didn't want to sound like a twat and write in my posh British voice.... "Why yes I was a Computer and Network Engineer working for New Zealand's biggest computer firm Gen-i Don't you know, what what." Well now I do... Hmm...

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
05/07/2009 04:02 PM

You realize that "IT Tech" is redundant, right? Like people who say "ATM Machine". The M in ATM stands for machine. GAH!

Funny to hear little Miss Throw the fact that I'm preggo into every post talk about redundancy. IT Tech and ATM machine doesn't bother me as bad as when people say hot water heater.

Pram-a-lam 80,728 42
05/07/2009 04:05 PM

I got the Vundo H. Christ trojan today, and it had sex with my computer.

Spent all day separating the two. Have you ever left a sandwich on the dashboard of your car on a hot day? It was like that.

Computer Repairs NYC 2 5
03/30/2011 06:25 PM

Wow this is pretty funny. I actually work in computer repairs. We have had quite a few melt downs lol

Sean MacChickens 286,601 61
03/31/2011 07:28 AM

Computers were a rather new thing when I was in college. My first computer class used cards to store your program (think hanging chads only like 500 of them to handle simple arithmetic). By the time I graduated we were storing data on floppy discs roughly the size of lp albums (think giant black cds).

My major was Radio, Television, Motion Pictures and I had to write several screenplays. My biggest was a two hour motion picture. A page of writing translates into about a minute of movie. So we're talking a 120 page paper in the long run.

Night before it's due, and I have been typing on my girlfriend's new fangled Tandy home computer for about a week now. I have the thing outlined but now am just fleshing it out and am at about 100 pages. I'm looking forward to banging out the last twenty odd pages then hitting the computer lab when they open at 7 am to print the bugger out in time for my 830 class.

**pfitzzzz**

All gone. There was no tech support. Argh.


GF and I spent from 10pm till 7 rewriting what had been written, luckily with no more bombs. I think I remember getting to class before it was over so didn't get the automatic downgrade of an grade for being late but we paid heavily for it.

Zelkun 639 12
04/01/2011 11:03 AM

One of the worst meltdowns didn't actually happen to me, but I did get to witness it first-hand.

I was working as an IT Tech, and I say that just to piss off the grammar nazi further up this thread, and I was put in charge of memory upgrades for the building. By 'put in charge of' I mean 'has to open up a thousand desktops and put new memory sticks in.'

Everything was going good until I reached one of the meanest, oldest secretaries in the building. I asked her to shut down her computer so I could do what should have been five minutes of work. I put in the memory and start up the machine, only to be greeted with a blue screen of death.

I thought it was no big deal, maybe it was a bad stick of memory. I take it out and put another one in: Same blue screen. Different slots, same thing.

I decided to cut my losses and just take the memory out, and bring her a replacement computer later in the week. I power it on, "non-system disk or disk error."

mother-Froster.

I have to explain that I need to replace her computer which will take a couple of hours, all the while she's scowling and sighing. The hard drive apparently fried itself, we couldn't recover any of the data. And to this day whenever she submits an issue, it's notated to please not have me work on it.