fingerpicking

putting molten lead in ya mouth 

balloon shrapnel

My teeth ripping though my tender gums

when the board cracks you in the shin

being kicked  in the thighs

stepping barefoot on a snarling wolf keychain

to step or sit on Yoda’s dagger-like green wizened ears

 

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/16/2009 10:03 AM

Reading your posts.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/16/2009 10:07 AM

Losing your baby daughter to SIDS.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/16/2009 10:32 AM

The dead horse you're beating.

Shell is not a Belle 77,143 25
04/16/2009 10:32 AM

Listening to this.

Mothcleaner 4,106 10
04/16/2009 10:34 AM

Giving any of prams posts orbs, I tried it. I'm blind in one eye now. Thanks alot Froster!

Phuc 237,919 21
04/16/2009 11:03 AM

The herpes test.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/16/2009 11:03 AM

Getting gauze removed from sinus surgery.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/16/2009 11:04 AM

Hernia surgery recovery.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/16/2009 11:04 AM

Observing the career of Sarah Palin.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/16/2009 11:04 AM

You, because I'm sure you do alot of things like a bitch.

Jolson - wtf?! 16,163 11
04/16/2009 11:13 AM

Having "implement sex" with a pregnant woman and breaking her water.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
04/16/2009 11:19 AM

1.) Taking a dull knife, ramming it in your stomach hilt deep, twisting it, pulling it out and  cauterizing the wound with a red hot poker.

2.) cutting off your arm with a hack saw.

3.) Watching "For the love of Ray J" on VH1.

If I had to pick one, I'd go with #1.

Chit 178,781 15
04/16/2009 11:28 AM

Yea...I hate it when that happens.



--Willie and Frankie

 

A nice frothy mug of Undies 101,398 77
04/16/2009 11:33 AM

Watching "For the love of Ray J" on VH1.

I got stuck in a hotel room before Spicey's grandma's funeral a couple weekends ago, and I ended up watching an episode of this steaming pile of Shakespeare.  I much preferred the funeral.  Seriously - all the women on this show are Frost-ing nuts.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/16/2009 11:38 AM

Under's latest name. BLEAH!.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/16/2009 03:38 PM

Wisdom teeth extraction...when the anestetic wears off

KChiki needs a witty tagline... 128,396 98
04/16/2009 03:46 PM

 Stepping on a freshly broken pickle relish jar.

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/16/2009 03:59 PM

Falling out of the tree at Undies' house.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/16/2009 04:21 PM

Being rund over by a steam roller while shooting an Austin Powers movie.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/16/2009 04:22 PM

Divorce

Test Tube Baby 828 5
04/16/2009 04:50 PM

Running out of alcohol.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/16/2009 04:53 PM

Farting and sneezing at the same time.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/16/2009 04:54 PM

...while burping (you will die.)

Thud 68,506 19
04/16/2009 05:47 PM

Passing an eight millimeter kidney stone.

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/16/2009 05:49 PM

Birthing a 9 pound baby without an epidural or any other type of pain medication.

Officer Squirrel 53,270 54
04/16/2009 07:24 PM

I know it's a little late for this question but, what exactly does a bitch hurt like?

Thud 68,506 19
04/16/2009 07:25 PM

Ask Chance Trae.

Pants 14,252 17
04/16/2009 08:02 PM

Taking a down trodden mangey stripper home and banging the ever loving Shakespeare out of her and finding out it's one of your illegitimate daughters.

Jeenanimator 47,799 51
04/16/2009 09:46 PM

Shakespeare Frost piss Christ! That's hot Frost-ing coffee!

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
04/17/2009 02:55 AM

Standing on a stonefish.

It''s the worst Frost-ing pain known to man, apparently.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qenzQaXM6Pw

Ironbuttkickinsnork 45,655 12
04/17/2009 02:57 AM

Anywho, the man is a genius.

Something I'm not

xentar 473 7
04/17/2009 07:36 AM

Living. 

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/17/2009 07:41 AM

Losing my pet rabbit.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/17/2009 08:24 AM

Losing My Religion.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/17/2009 08:26 AM

OW, OW, OW.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/17/2009 08:28 AM

^He looks like Robert Deniro in "Awakenings".

Phuc 237,919 21
04/17/2009 09:04 AM

Shoving a Box Jellyfish in yer knickers.

Chicken McNipples 2,207 7
04/17/2009 10:49 AM

Soap in the peepee hole

Chicken McNipples 2,207 7
04/17/2009 11:03 AM

The sharp, searing pain of a cough induced fart.  Man was definitely shortchanged in the butthole durability department.

Phuc 237,919 21
04/17/2009 11:22 AM

Getting picked last for kickball.

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 63,472 21
04/17/2009 11:27 AM

Getting picked first for genocide.

Chix is in da house 286,601 61
04/17/2009 11:49 AM

Wreaking your motorcycle and sliding on asphalt while wearing a kilt.

Officer Squirrel 53,270 54
04/17/2009 11:49 AM

This!

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 63,472 21
04/17/2009 11:58 AM

Having to go second in ro-sham-bo.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/17/2009 12:22 PM

getting initiated into a golf gang.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/18/2009 12:47 AM

Having chuncks cut out of your cervix without any thing for the pain; and have the doctor tell you it shouldn't hurt!

If I hadn't been so out of it after that;  he would of found out what it felt like to have chuncks taken out of his testicles.

Your What?! Hurts? 5,582 10
04/18/2009 08:55 AM

Clearly there's a story here.

Please, don't share it.

Pram eats cholit bunnies ASS FIRST! 80,728 42
04/18/2009 09:27 AM

Steve-O's nuts.

guineapig613 51 6
04/18/2009 01:08 PM

Shoving a midieval flail up your ass and twisting it 

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/18/2009 11:05 PM

Having chuncks cut out of your cervix without any thing for the pain; and have the doctor tell you it shouldn't hurt!

If I hadn't been so out of it after that;  he would of found out what it felt like to have chuncks taken out of his testicles

You wimp. I had that done, twice. And went through radiation treatment IN MY UTERUS. I promise you, blisters where you can't see hurt much worse.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/19/2009 02:35 AM

They froze my cervix twice. But yours definately sounds worse.

I hate it when they say this won't hurt. You know it's a lie. Just drug me up first; that's all I ask.

Also in sex ed or your gyno; they don't tell you that this Shakespeare happens if you start having sex too early. I think it's before you stop growing or 18. I can't remember.

Millie 116,988 28
04/19/2009 11:25 AM

Having a tube pushed up into each ovary so they can squirt dye into it. And then having the techician wiggling one because she can't get the dye to go in. And then her calling the radiologist after doing this for at least five excruciating minutes and him coming in and saying, "You just have to give it a good push" and then him pushing it really hard and saying, "see?"



I imagine that might hurt.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/20/2009 01:48 AM

I think I'm gonna start bringing a collapsable baton with me from now on; when I go for tests or to see doctors!

Phuc 237,919 21
04/20/2009 05:48 AM

War of the Painful Uterine Procedures.

Aroungry doesn't begin to describe it.

TomServo 3,759 7
04/20/2009 10:17 AM

Empty threads hurt.... Internet people are people too!

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/20/2009 03:42 PM

You know what hurts REALLY bad? Stubbing your pinkie toe. I would have much rather broken it, so I'd have soemthing to show for me sitting in the kitchen floor cursing and trying not to cry.

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/20/2009 03:43 PM

You know what else hurts? Trying to read my posts when I transpose letters in words.











Sorry. I'll try to remember how to type next time.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
04/20/2009 04:15 PM

soap in the peepee hole.

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/20/2009 04:16 PM

Nice. Glad I could set you up.

Pants 14,252 17
04/20/2009 08:02 PM

You wimp. I had that done, twice. And went through radiation treatment IN MY UTERUS. I promise you, blisters where you can't see hurt much worse.

Are herpes really that painful?

Rene 1,810 11
04/20/2009 08:07 PM

I guess I haven't lurked enough lately. When did GAB turn into an HPV support group?

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
04/20/2009 10:21 PM

You know what really hurt?

The Ram Bombadil once said my soul was not eternal, and it was too late to buy the warranty. That hurt.

Sippin Straw 98,019 37
04/20/2009 11:05 PM

I was going to say "nothing hurts quite like a bitch" and went through youtube trying to find a clip of a bitch being hurtful, but it was all stupid and boring.

Except this, which was stupid and kinda funny.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/20/2009 11:10 PM

Prostate Exam...

Nuff said

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/21/2009 02:01 AM

Prostate Exam...

Imagine your pee hole expanding to the size of a grapefruit and now must push out a 9lb. baby. Now that hurts!


Why did God give birth to Women?
Cause nobody wants to grow inside a guy; just look at what they eat. The gaseous noises would probably rupture the fetus ears just when they start to use their hearing.

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 63,472 21
04/21/2009 09:27 AM

If men could have babies, mine would emerge with a pizza slice in hand.

A nice frothy mug of Undies 101,398 77
04/21/2009 07:38 PM

guh.

Pants 14,252 17
04/21/2009 07:54 PM

Squirting toothpaste in your eye.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/21/2009 08:14 PM

Proof that God is a MAN...

Women:
Bleed, have cramps and terrible pain when they're not pregnant...
Carry around 20 pounds of extra weight when they are pregnant...
Push a nine pound shot-put through their veejay-jay

Men:
Get prostate exams

Test Tube Baby 828 5
04/21/2009 09:29 PM

Rubbing Ben Gay on private parts. I've been told.

manhole 21,656 29
04/21/2009 10:19 PM

Don't believe everything squirrel tells you.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/22/2009 12:21 AM

Proof that GOD is a Woman: Women can and have up to 20 orgasms in one very fun evening; so I don't mind so much about the cramps and such. It's a good trade off.

I win! I mean we Women win!



Also women can have different types of orgasms:clitoral, vaginal, whole body and mental.

Juan Campos 1,173 5 NSFW
04/22/2009 12:43 AM

What hurts like a bitch is reading anything off Electric Retard.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/22/2009 09:13 PM

Further proof God is a Man:

Some men are lucky enough to WATCH and share in your 20 orgasms of varying intensity and location.

The rest of us DREAM of such experiences.

God gave us imaginations...therefore...God is a man

peoriagrace 6,166 11
04/22/2009 10:30 PM

Ok Pubah, you can have this one. One I say and only one.

Pubah 56,817 18
04/22/2009 11:10 PM

God also made women...

To entice, satisfy and confound men

maybe God has a wife?

yekejem 0 4
04/23/2009 07:59 AM

Pubah
04/16/2009 03:38 PM
Wisdom teeth extraction...when the anestetic wears off

Having your wisdom tooth removed surgically where the roots have attached themselves to your jaw bone and the dentistS (3 in my case) open up your gum, do some Shakespeare that leaves you looking like the victim of a bloodbath, and then stitch the gums closed...when the anestetic wears off...

Hurts to even smile...

Cream Cheese Lobster Dumplings 18,570 33
04/23/2009 09:03 AM

yekejem

Hello, dear. Are you new? Please to be STFU!!!

/obligatory





I'm being followed by a tree beetle all over my house. Seeing as I don't know whether or not it is an endangered species, I haven't killed it yet. But I have moved into two different rooms already, and it has followed me into every one of them. Maybe it thinks I'm its mother? Or perhaps it is lurking in the shadows, plotting the death of me so it can feed its family for the next 4 generations.

It looks like this:

Ravos, A-boi-oi-oing! 63,472 21
04/23/2009 09:09 AM

You should keep it and name it Larry.

Thud 68,506 19
04/23/2009 08:35 PM

David Blaine's so called career.

Bill da Squirrel 53,270 54
04/23/2009 10:28 PM

Chicken McNipples so called posts.

grodenbarg 9 6
04/23/2009 11:57 PM

• being tased/electrocuted
• being scalded with boiling water
• a severe sunburn
• a too close of an encounter with pyrotechnics
• the hemorrhoids that occur after the defecation of acidic and very spicy foods.

Thud 68,506 19
04/24/2009 12:02 AM

-break-


Blargh.


-break-

You may now continue your regularly scheduled sanity check.

Chit 178,781 15
04/24/2009 12:46 AM

the hemorrhoids that occur after the defecation of acidic and very spicy foods.


That's just my experience though.

Chit 178,781 15
04/24/2009 12:55 AM

Rubbing your eye after fidgeting with the hot pepper flakes dispenser at the pizza parlor.

Taking a piss immediately after your eye stops watering, and not being smart enough to wash your Frost-ing hands first.

Having your knee drained

and getting shot



Notice how getting shot came in 4th? It's in the right order, I swear.

Test Tube Baby 828 5
04/24/2009 12:59 AM

Rubbing your eyes after eating jalepeno peppers.