Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
05/03/2009 11:17 AM

Sweatin like Al waiting for the test results at a VD clinic. Mad as a welfare mom running out of foodstamps. more confused than a black kid in the getto on fathers day. sadder than a pedophile during school hours. Happier than Trixxie when he gets sand in his astrolube.

Test Tube Baby 828 5
05/03/2009 12:52 PM

I'm sweating like a whore in church.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
05/03/2009 01:00 PM

I'm sweating like a whore in church.


..as unoriginal as a mullet at a Skynard concert.

Test Tube Baby 828 5
05/03/2009 01:06 PM

as unoriginal as a mullet at a ...

I was talking about your Mother.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
05/03/2009 01:18 PM

Ok, Test, since the new discipline here is not to call names and bash but rather to guide the unfunny onto the path to funniness I will simply help. My motive for this thread was to discover new sayings that I had never heard or inspire the fine funny minds of Live to originate ones of their own, not just spit out the first cliche that pops into their head. So rather than acting as childish as a gay midget at Neverland Ranch. Try to leave my mother out of this and prove me wrong by actually making me laugh.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
05/03/2009 06:08 PM

Sweating like Richard Simons to the Oldies?

Am I doing this right?

Test Tube Baby 828 5
05/03/2009 07:59 PM

I'm as nervous as a drug dealer who got pulled over by the K-9 unit.
I'm as happy as a drunk at an open bar.


Is this better?

Please circle yes or no.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
05/03/2009 08:07 PM

_____
!NO!
!_____!

Test Tube Baby 828 5
05/03/2009 08:21 PM

As thrilled as Rosie O'Donnell in a room full of horny lesbians.


As disappointed as Larry the Cable Guy with a broken fart machine.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
05/03/2009 08:43 PM

Ok.....one Zug for you.,,,,,the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.

Test Tube Baby 828 5
05/03/2009 09:15 PM

As dumb as the blonde who orders a 15 instead of a 7&7.

The Purr in Purulent 1,071 8
05/03/2009 11:45 PM

Gimme a drink . . . I'm as dry as a popcorn fart.

Butt Face Chicken McNugget 129 5
05/04/2009 12:32 AM

Hell with it. I know I havn't put in nearly enough lurking time, but...

Stinkin' like a warm cucumber after a Rosie O'Donnell all-nighter.

Horny as a CNN anchor hearing the words "swine flu pandemic".

Sweatin' like a newbie on a comedy forum.

Ravos is the impostor 63,472 21
05/04/2009 09:13 AM

Hot like the tire-fire in my backyard.
Dead as the chicken I am roasting over the tire-fire in my backyard.

Chance IS the giver of life! 171,275 14
05/05/2009 07:47 PM

I am happier than a pig in slop cause I just got a new laptop and now I can bother you Frosters from home again!

Thud 68,506 19
05/05/2009 08:48 PM

Good for you, Chance dear.

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
05/05/2009 09:16 PM

HEH. I think I'm starting to have a little online crush on Chance. There's just something about a chick that calls people "Frosters" that you have to like.

Pubah 56,820 18
05/05/2009 09:31 PM

...Mad as a neo-nazi watchin the inaguration...

Cravin Moorhead 3,307 12
05/05/2009 09:52 PM

Hornier than a catholic priest at scout-o-rama.

Chance IS the giver of life! 171,275 14
05/06/2009 05:59 AM

I am all classy and Shakespeare like that.

Pubah 56,820 18
05/06/2009 06:36 AM

"I'm higher than a Georgia Pine..."
Pigmeat Markam

TomServo 3,759 7
05/06/2009 10:06 AM

I'm sweating like a whore altar boy in church.