Mung Champ suggested (by email):

"Single Ply Toilet Paper Strength Test"

Some type of experiment to see which is the worst single ply toilet paper in the world. Maybe follow up with a prank call to that company, asking if they would consider making a half-ply toilet paper.

Mung Champ also suggested (by email):

"What Will People Do For Money in This Economy?"

Post absurd things on craigslist for people to do for money and see who bites. Have someone come over just to flush your toilet, change channels on your TV, open your milk. Make up ridiculous excuses why you can't do these things yourself. Job pays $6.

"Zany things to do in [insert city name here]"

Get five different people to write an article about their respective cities. Abort if you only get volunteers from Boise and Yellowknife.

Mung Champ also also suggested (by telegraph):

"Finding a Date on Monster.com"

There are plenty of dating sites out there, but in this day and age you want to be even more selective. You want to look through a date's pedigree and judge him/her as you would any applicant applying for a position in your company.

So go through monster.com and do some resume searches looking for the perfect date. Call the candidates, who will answer questions like they are on with a potential job interview -- which will be even funnier when the questions turn personal and even sexual.

Attend a meeting at your local PETA chapter wearing leather pants,jacket,shoes,coonskin cap,and some sort of bone jewelry all while munching on beef jerky. Be nice and act like you're just there to listen. See if they will try and at what lengths they will go to to kick you out.

Write an article about how Mung Champ can't write any articles.

"Insect Taste Test"

I'm still suggesting that thing from the Halloween Challenge: Buy an M&Ms costume, go to the candy store, buy like 50 bucks worth of M&Ms, stand outside the store and toss them around, shouting "you're free brothers and sisters! run away!" Take photos/video of the event. Bonus points if you talk your way out of being arrested/being sent to the psych ward.

"Religious Trucker Hat"

I thought it would be funny to get a trucker hat with a religious symbol, then attend a service of that religion. For instance, a trucker hat with a cross in church, or a star of David in synagogue. See how the different congregations react.

So I have a few ideas for articles...wait...never mind.

"Religious Trucker Hat"

My friend Luke has a trucker hat with the words PLAN B scrawled across the front of it. Almost peed my pants laughing when I saw it.

Contact America Online and let them know that someone has hacked their logo and changed it into something that, when pronounced phonetically, sounds a lot like A-ol, or A-hole, and you find it very offensive. Come to think of it, someone changed their domain name to something that sounds like A-hole. And it's on those Shakespearety freebie sign-up CDs they mail out once a fortnight. Probably best if multiple people call in, offended.

Prank call to the DEA

Call your local DEA office and tell them you are suspicious that your neighbors are cooking meth. When they ask what makes you believe that, allude to some vague bleach or Sudafed purchase. Ask them for other things you should be looking for. Inquire about the intricacies of cooking crystal meth. Eventually, just make it seem like you're trying to learn how to cook your own.

Please bookmark this thread, so that we might use it as a hatchery for ongoing article ideas. (Yes, I said "hatchery.") If you have a funny concept, please post it to this thread -- we'll also be linking to this thread for new writers.

Random comments may be deleted, so we can just stick with the idea concepts.

Sign up to break/start a record at The Guinness Book of World Records and document the attempt.



Example:
Trae and Lobster could attempt to break the record for most blow jobs given by pregnant women in one day. (Me first)

Trixxie could see how many doors he could open in one hour using only his Emerson.

Bill the Squirrel should attempt to break his previous record, for holding 10lbs of walnuts in his ass, of 2 days, 3 hours, 27 minutes, and 16 seconds.

Velvet Turd could assist Bill in his record and set his own by seeing how fast he could consume the freshly fermented nuts.

"Things that you should NEVER put in a toaster"

"Germs Level Test" around the office.

Using this kit, swab the doorknobs, bathroom faucet, coworkers pencil etc... and find out where the majority of germs are coming from. Post the results and give out an award to the "Most Toxic" employee. Finish the bit by wrapping their cubical in bio hazard tape and firing them.

what can make the coolest exsplosion in a microwave: Eggs, fireworks (I'd bet on that one), marshmallows, or a CD

I wouldn't attempt the fireworks if I was attached to my microwave though.

You spelled "Satan" wrong. Unless you meant "satin", which is also spelled wrong.

I know. It was purposeful.

Go back to writing checks to pay for stuff; only use a real quill feather and ink. You bring out the little bottle of ink and add a few drops of water then shake.

You could also take the quill and ink to get autographs.

Go as long as possible without sleep then take a bunch of no-dose and energy drinks. Have someone else drive you to go shopping.


Oh yeah, bring a monkey.

Go to pet stores and ask about the different animals and which is easiest to cook and or tastes good.

Go to the food court in the mall, one of the ones that has a bunch of free samples, and just walk around and around, trying to score an entire free meal out of it.

It would be bonus to wear a different disguise on each trip around the food court, but each disguise would be totally lame, like a pirate's hat or a fake moustache.

John, why don't YOU do it? You're better at these things then most of us (by better at these things, I meant better at getting out of trouble with the authorities and fast food resturant managers).

A bylaw was recently passed in Toronto making it mandatory that stores charge 5 cents for each plastic bag they give to people. This trend has spread throughout Ontario due to them making it company policy for some major grocery store chains.

An idea I had, was to stand outside one of these places in a trench-coat and sunglasses, and try to sell plastic bags to people out of said trench-coat for 3 cents instead of 5.

I'd do it, I just don't want to get arrested.

If any of you have heard of kgb, [/url]http://542542.com/ then you'll know what i'm talking about.
I (about a month or two ago) became an agent, have since started answering questions. Today, i get a request for dead baby jokes.
So which on of you sickos has been sending questions to kgb_?

and for my suggestion. someone should become an agent at kgb, and give people intentional wrong answers and see how that goes.
Or you could text kgb and see what answers (preferably odd & disturbing) you can get out of them.

Write an article on how hard it is to write 6 articles in the span of 30 minutes.

Include pictures for bonus points.

If anyone has any ideas for Consumer Reports-style tests (like Syncope's Tinned Meat Taste Test) we're looking for ideas to possibly start a regular column around these offbeat product tests.

Examples would be:

- Worst-Tasting Pornography
- Hottest Chain Restaurant Waitresses
- Insect Taste Test
- Which Headphones Make You Look Least Like a Dork
- Stinkiest Cheese

You get the drift. Ideas welcomed!

"How do yo like your eggs? - Which preparation of the incredible edible makes the worst smelling farts"


"Twits of the Week:"

Visit a few of your local Waffle House/Huddle House's and judge who has the best teeth. Submit pictures of the finalists' grills.

I've found that the fewer teeth a Waffle House waitress has the better service you receive.

See how many times you can fart in someone's face while they're sleeping before they wake up. Video required.

Bonus if you're a girl.

My friend Monk(female) from beauty college; one day announced to me that I had spent less than a minute in the bathroom. She also said; "That was fast, no time to wash your hands". To this I gave the formidable rejoinder; Huh?! I just had to blow my nose, what do you mean?(the look on my face-durrr- reflected my state of mind) She then went on to explain how she sat near the bathrooms, under the hair dryers and commented on people's bathroom times and speculated as to the bussiness there-in. I then proceeded to laugh and sat down to watch. ex.-) Wow you were in there for like 10 mins. Are you constipated or is it diahrhea. Hope you left the fan on. Sometimes she would just announce the length of time spent.

Maybe a person could start a betting pool on peoples bathroom times; or have a running scorecard of people's times for the day, week, month. I'd be careful as some work places may find this as some kind of harrassment. Instead of good clean fun. Maybe it could be passed off as a way to curb the spread of illness. Good luck.

John, for your next prank you should buy a Starbucks franchise, then try to return it.

John, for your next prank you should buy a Starbucks franchise, then try to return it.

One time. One time.

Two times. Two times.

Oy Alarm Clock!! That's my (completely original & not at all stolen) idea.
That's plagiarism! Dirty filthy plagiarism!

1)Dress mannequin in clothes your size.

2)Drag behind your car for 5 blocks.

3)Put those clothes on.

4)Go to truck stop and sneak up on a truck just pulling in and when he get's out of his truck get out from under tralier as if he just dragged you through the parking lot.


Video of the look on his face would be priceless!

Get everybody in your office but the victim to pretend there's a new "office cat".
Send out emails asking for donations of food, and start putting signs of the cat around: catnip mice, toys, a litterbox next to the copier, etc. Make the imaginary cat part of office life, you guys can tell stories about the zany antics the cat pulled in your cubicle the other day, maybe even stage some pictures. See how long it takes the mark to pretend the cat exists. Once he does, Then things turn sour. Nobody has seen the cat for ages, it seems the mark is the last person who played with the cat. Where has the kitty gone? Accusations of catnapping could abound, the prank could continue ad nauseum.

How about a social experiment?

I've traveled around the US and I find that in different areas, folks have different patience levels when it comes to not paying attention at stop lights.

So my experiment is, have all Zuggers (is this a word?) record how long it takes for someone to honk at you at a stop light after it turns green. You know, you've been at a stop light, not paying attention and the light turns green and the person behind you honks because the light turns green.

Let's see which geographical area is the kindest in this situation.

John, for your next prank you should buy a Starbucks franchise, then try to return it..

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly...

Buy a blow up doll or borrow one from one of your desperate friends. Take her everywhere you go. When you go out to eat, order for two and request extremely specific items for your new bride. Take her to the salon and have her hair and nails done. Go grocery shopping with her and request nearly impossible to obtain item's for your new bride's romantic dinner. Maybe you could go to a local real estate agency and look for houses together. Make sure there are at least three bedrooms in case the two of you decide to have children and for when the in-laws sleep over. Perhaps, after you and her argue in public, you could go to the nearest mental health facility and request couple's counseling. Maybe you could request antipsychotics for your schizophrenic wife, telling them that she's been "practically catatonic" for the last few weeks.

Try not to get committed.

So basically re-enact Lars and the Real Girl.

Set up at a charity event; to give away hot fudge or raspberry sundaes. Ask for donations. Only have some weird flavored ice cream. Like those crazy Japanese ice cream Flavours: Horse, Squid, Corn, Wasabi, or Salmon. Make sure to have your helpers walking around wearing signs with big sundaes; dripping with sauce and whipped cream. Be careful about the horse flavour it may be illegal in the US if you don't have a big sign that says HORSE.

Set up tables at colleges durring the start of the new semester. Get people to sign up for Zug; give away free T-shirts to those who fill out paper work explaining pranks they've commited or have happened to them. Also you should team up with a credit card company to offer The Zug Card. Never Prank Without it. You could make some money off this. If you do I want a modest share of the proceeds.
By the way make sure to have some cute girls, not too cute or you'll scare away the women and nerds. College kids will sign up for credit cards easily. Large chocolate bars and chips help too.

I just looked up Lars and the Real Girl...

I really need to get out more.

Wear incredibly out-of-season clothes for a week, and gauge the reactions of people while at different locales. I've always wondered where people feel most judgmental... (Not really, mind you, but it could turn out quite comedic.)