May Contest: Make Warts Funny!
A comedy conversation
by John Hargrave | 05/11/2009 05:12 PM | 121 views
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 MAKE WARTS FUNNY!
That's right, our $300.00 May contest is focused on those ugly, cauliflower-like growths on the hands, face, and genitals: WARTS!
Your task is to make warts funny. We want your funniest, REAL-LIFE stories about your wartiest experiences. Tell us about your funniest wart removal stories. Challenge a friend to burn off his wart using a magnifying glass and the sun. Or just check out this ad at right; the comedy writes itself.
Here are the guidelines:
- The story must be true.
- The story must have at least 2 photos accompanying it (stock photos OK but real photos preferred).
- The story should not be published elsewhere on the Web.
- Please begin your title with the words "WART CONTEST," so we can filter the wart stories from all the other user-generated wart content.
Thanks to our sponsor Wartrol for the idea. (Call us paranoid, but we're not going to shake their hands on this deal).
THE WINNERS!
1st place ($100.00): Close Encounters of the Warty Kind by weblamer
2nd place ($100.00): A Halloween Hello by Underwhere?
3rd place ($100.00): The Tale of a Tag by Kchiki
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Like This? Rate It!
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0 votes
0.0
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0 votes
0.0
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KChiki - Flu Free! (knock on wood)
05/11/2009 05:26 PM
I'm trying to decide if I really want to work "wart" into my schtick or lack thereof, which would be worse.
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Nipples of the Future!
05/11/2009 07:11 PM
Where's the hot Asian chick with the ketchup all over her face? Maybe she can make warts funny.
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Funny
3 votes
3.3
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Lobster is Laying a Egg!
05/11/2009 09:02 PM
Is that what those bumpy things are? I thought my vagina grew teeth.
Disclaimer: The above statement is untrue. It was a poor attempt at my lack of funny. Feel free to berate and use my foolishness against me anyway, as I know you will.
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Cravin Moorhead
05/11/2009 10:44 PM
New and improved Lobster Vagina...Now with speed bumps.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pants
05/12/2009 12:20 AM
It sounds to me that Lobster is growing a third claw down there.
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0 votes
0.0
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Pubah
05/12/2009 03:09 AM
Compound W
Liquid Nitrogen
Scalple (knife)
Catgut
Fill in the blanks
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Hilarious
5 votes
4.0
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Jeeni Beanie
05/12/2009 02:40 PM
Now with speed bumps.
It's ribbed, for your pleasure.
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0 votes
0.0
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Gonzo
05/12/2009 04:02 PM
Delicious warts?
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0 votes
0.0
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Cravin Moorhead
05/13/2009 11:59 PM
Who the hell does John think he's fooling? He doesn't have $300 unless he sold a kidney and I doubt that. He's already done that... twice, and the last time he was at the sperm bank they told him not to come back because of his constant screaming "CLEAN UP IN ISLE 6!".
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Side-splitting
2 votes
5.0
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Thud
05/14/2009 12:45 AM
"CLEAN UP IN ISLE 6!"
Damned dirty archipelago.
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0 votes
0.0
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Your What?! Hurts?
05/14/2009 12:46 AM
5 orbs for "archipelago"
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0 votes
0.0
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weblamer
05/29/2009 08:06 PM
Hmm, I just noticed there IS no may 31st.
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Funny
3 votes
3.7
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Bill the Squirrel
05/29/2009 08:10 PM
In which country? In mine May 31st is on Sunday.
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Hilarious
7 votes
4.0
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UnderWhelmed
05/29/2009 08:43 PM
Hmm, I just noticed there IS no may 31st.
30 days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have 31,
Wow weblamer, u r dumb.
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0 votes
0.0
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weblamer
05/30/2009 04:08 PM
wow, thats what i get for printing out a calendar i randomly found on the internet.
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Hilarious
3 votes
4.0
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Bill the Squirrel
05/30/2009 04:17 PM
Wow, that's what i get for printing out a calendar i randomly found on the Internet being a retard who doesn't know there are 31 days in May.
Fixed!*
*DISCLAIMER: This was meant as a joke, no actual harming of noObs was intended.
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0 votes
0.0
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Ravos is New & Improved
06/01/2009 01:14 PM
30 days hath September,
April, June and November.
All the rest have 31,
Wow weblamer, u r dumb.
February...?
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Hilarious
1 votes
4.0
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UnderWhelmed
06/01/2009 03:26 PM
February has 28,
So Frost you Ravos, feel my hate.
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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Ravos is New & Improved
06/01/2009 04:41 PM
So Frost you Ravos, feel my hate
It feels remarkably similar to sunshine and butterflies.
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderWhelmed
06/01/2009 05:27 PM
heh.
My love for you is like a truck!
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0 votes
0.0
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John Hargrave
06/01/2009 06:02 PM
Congrats to our May contest winners! (Article updated above.)
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0 votes
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Ravos is New & Improved
06/01/2009 06:05 PM
My love for you is like a truck!
Long & hard?
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0 votes
0.0
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The Golden KChiki
06/01/2009 06:12 PM
Woohoo!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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weblamer
06/01/2009 07:11 PM
Yay, I wont 100 bucks.
Now I can buy a calendar. I am going to buy a fancy glossy one filled with inspirational motivational quotes accompanied by a moving photograph.
How do i get paid? Does some little telegram guy on a scooter show up at my house with a fat check or what?
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Funny
2 votes
3.0
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The Golden KChiki
06/01/2009 07:13 PM
We have a hovercraft!
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderWhelmed
06/01/2009 07:58 PM
How do i get paid? Does some little telegram guy on a scooter show up at my house with a fat check or what?
John should send an email, and you have to fill out a tax form. THEN you get a fat paypal transfer. At least, that's what I've had to do in the past.
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0 votes
0.0
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Thud checks the address bar
06/01/2009 09:30 PM
Wait, Undies didn't win? Am I on the right site?
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0 votes
0.0
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UnderWhelmed
06/01/2009 10:39 PM
Thud, this is the first contest I have won anything in this year. Apparently John has rewritten the rules about me getting all the prizes.
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Chuckleworthy
1 votes
2.0
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Thud
06/01/2009 10:54 PM
Ah, okay, got it. Thanks for the update. I was getting worried I'd lost my mind again.
I didn't, it's on the credenza.
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