In Which I Avoid Anal Rape in Prison
A comedy article
by Anh is over there.  11,158  14
06/05/2009 12:14 AM 2041 views
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Up until a few weeks ago, I was a big pot head.
Visual Metaphor
 It's no fun smoking alone, so I had an Indian buddy who would always smoke with me... let's call him Kamal. So, Kamal and I had a special parking lot where we would frequent that overlooked the highway. We called it "going to the weeping willow" because there were two weeping willow trees that provided great ambiance. We would often see deer, rabbit, and foxes run by, and it was a very private and secluded area.
Now Kamal is not a very bright guy, and to my amusement, he would often start conversations such as, "So we have a cousin who we think has hearing problems..." and "So we were playing musical chairs..."
He would usually bring Indian food along, and we always had a great time at the weeping willow. Who else has Indian food, pot, retardation, and a weeping willow... at the same time? Needless to say, we were pretty content.
Until one night, when the cops came.
At was about 1 AM. We had finished our illicit activities and had gone to the local Wendy's drive-thru to grab some munchies and baked potatoes. Upon arrival at the weeping willow, we ate obliviously in my car, when suddenly, mouth full of food, Kamal says "Oh Shakespeare, COPS!"
With blood shot eyes and a ganja-smelling car, I fully expected to be in serious trouble. The weeping willow that provided such merriment now beckoned doom and lots of future weeping. Apparently the cop called for back up, and soon three other cars pulled up and surrounded us.
So, we lied our asses off and said that we only went there after a movie to eat. I could tell that they could tell we were lying, but when you're high, the truth is as elusive as a naked, greased up deaf man.
After about ten minutes of sitting in silence with cops surrounding my car, imagining what kind of trouble we had gotten ourselves into, the cop came back and handed us each a citation.
Not really listening to what he had to say, I only caught the words "arrest" and "prison", but as soon as we signed the citations, the cops left.
"So... what the heck was that about?" Kamal asked.
I looked down at the ticket, and started laughing.
I guess a pig's sense of smell is too little to go on for a full vehicle search, or they were being nice, but did they have to call us babies?
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Like This? Rate It!
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Side-splitting
6 votes
5.0
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.3
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MungChamp 35,891  35
06/05/2009 07:18 AM
Didn't you guys make a movie where you ended up at White Castle?
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Funny
2 votes
3.5
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Like a Ravos 63,472 21
06/05/2009 07:22 AM
No no, the one they were in featured Guantanamo Bay.
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0 votes
0.0
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The Golden KChiki 128,399 98
06/05/2009 08:54 AM
I thought they never actually made it to WhiteCastle.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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Mothcleaner 4,106 10
06/05/2009 09:42 AM
I thought they never actually made it to WhiteCastle.
You never even watched the movie did you?
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Funny
4 votes
3.7
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Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/05/2009 11:11 AM
Anh, this was funny, but nearly as good as your In Which I Avoid Anal Rape at McDonlalds.
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Hilarious
4 votes
4.0
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Shell Belle 77,143 25
06/05/2009 11:23 AM
the truth is as elusive as a naked, greased up deaf man.
They're not as elusive as you might think. I've got one chained up in my basement right now. It works out, because he can't call for help.
Funny article, bambino.
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Chuckleworthy
3 votes
2.7
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Anh is over there. 11,158 14
06/05/2009 11:48 AM
I just realized how much we resemble Harold and Kumar. Even our names have slight similarities.
Time for a road trip!
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Chuckleworthy
2 votes
2.0
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The Golden KChiki 128,399 98
06/05/2009 11:55 AM
You never even watched the movie did you?
It was 84 minutes of car trouble! I gave up!
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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Like a Ravos 63,472 21
06/05/2009 12:52 PM
Watch out for the parody thread by Trixxie: in which I actively seek anal rape in prison.
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