John Hargrave 116,568 19
06/11/2009 08:29 PM

Brilliant again.

You had me at Yoko Ono's tuna sandwich.

Also, I hope to never use the words "Yoko Ono's tuna sandwich" again.

Whistler P. McManus 141,160 23
06/11/2009 11:33 PM

Yoko Ono is a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

First of all, could she possibly have meant DRANK a liter of water and MADE a tuna sandwich? After 50 years in the U.K. and the U.S., could her English possibly still be that bad?

Second, did she get breast implants? Why would you spend money on breast implants when you're 80 years old and your face would scare a Yeti?

Finally, does anyone else think that John probably would have divorced her in about 1987 if he had survived? I mean, he was recently off the junk and the booze when he died - would he have been able to put up with that while unmedicated? He's someone who often gets called a genius, but he sure wasn't a genius at recognizing talent. Or beauty. Oofah.


Great job, Sinko!

Like a Ravos 33,954 10
06/11/2009 11:42 PM

Second, did she get breast implants? Why would you spend money on breast implants when you're 80 years old and your face would scare a Yeti?

Nobody will be looking at her face if she has bigger boobs.

peoriagrace 5,962 9
06/12/2009 02:57 AM

Second, did she get breast implants? Why would you spend money on breast implants when you're 80 years old and your face would scare a Yeti?

Same reason men get ball-sack lifts.

Also what does sinko mean?

Lobsta- Now With FIBER!! 9,793 9
06/12/2009 05:15 AM

Syncope- pronounced "sink-oh-pee." Tard.

Great job sweetie. I'm glad you're back!
*Faints due to a lack of oxygen in the brain*

Whistler P. McManus 141,160 23
06/12/2009 06:44 AM

I prefer either the Spanish pronunciation, "Cinco Pi," or the Irish "Sink O'Pee."

syncope 43,802 9
06/12/2009 03:25 PM

Second, did she get breast implants?

Did you see how tight that outfit is? Five pounds of sausage is going to look pretty impressive in a three pound bag.

Azz Lava 148 1
06/13/2009 10:46 AM

That Kirstie Alley must have stretch marks that look like a Klingon's forehead. I hear she landed the starring role in Flubber 2.

peoriagrace 5,962 9
06/13/2009 11:20 AM

I've always thought of Syncope as Sin Cope. Like this person helps people cope with their sins and trademarked the name. I'll have to adjust my thinking now.

Millie 107,009 10
06/13/2009 06:33 PM

God, I hate John Mayer. I hate him so much. I never knew much about him or cared anything about whether he walks the earth or not until I was forced to listen to his stupid music ad nauseum at work. Why any woman with reasonable intelligence would want to date him with his big Frankenstein head I don't know. Even an idiot like Jessica Simpson is too good for him.

As for Yoko Ono, whatever. John Lennon was clearly in love with her, even though a lot of people question it. That album Double Fantasy was made when he was clean and sober and he still obviously loved her. However, even though he was talented, I would venture to say he was almost as much of a douchebag as John Mayer.

At least Yoko's twitters are interesting. (I also wondered about her boobs--they do look pretty big.)

What the Frost is Lauren Conrad wearing? Is that a bathing suit?

Poor Kirstie Alley. Even though I find her frightening; I was scared of her before she got fat. She has a scary face and voice. Sadly, people used to tell me I looked like her when she was on Cheers. Thank God no one has said that recently. Still, I can sympathize with up and down weight problems. I think she's brave to talk honestly about it.

Also, she was a Scientologist way before she got fat. And she hasn't been a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig in several years. Valerie Bertinelli took over.

peoriagrace 5,962 9
06/14/2009 01:46 AM

I think John was completely able to be himself with Yoko. He could of had any beauty he wanted and probably did. She spoke to his being.

Love isn't about looks; it's about how good in bed you are you connect. After all everyone gets old and ugly unless they die early.

Dr. Manhole 7,729 8
06/14/2009 04:43 AM

Millie, I would never, ever, ever compare you to Kirstie Alley. She has crazy eyes. The first thing I ever saw her in was North and South, and she played a crazy character. She replaced crazy Diane on Cheers, and the craziness hasn't stopped. She was probably the least crazy in Summer School, but she made up for it by being kind of a bitch. [this is the part where I want to make a joke about Kirstie playing a bitch in that movie and Millie playing a bitch on Zug, but I like Millie too much - resulting in me being a comedy failure]

Straw Trekkin across the universe 59,473 11
06/14/2009 04:44 AM

UGH!!! That was supposed to be me!!! Comedy failure indeed.

Just Plain Jeeni 10,995 10
06/14/2009 05:10 AM

Thanks for summing it up, and bringing to my attention the "twit" in Twitter, Syncope.

Brogel 76 6
06/14/2009 06:16 PM

Five points off for misspelling Weeklipedia.

Millie 107,009 10
06/14/2009 06:28 PM

Thanks, Straw. I wondered why Manhole was being so nice.

I honestly don't see the resemblence, but people used to say it all the time. I think it was because our hair was similar, and maybe the facial structure. But my eyes are not as crazy as her's.

Interestingly enough, the other person people said I looked like was Valerie B. Again--the hair. But at least she's not a crazy nutball.

Sandra Bullock has been the one I get most often. Thank GOD it's someone who is pretty--although, again, I think I look nothing like her.

Whistler P. McManus 141,160 23
06/15/2009 02:49 AM

Millie, you look nothing like any of them. Your loveliness is unique.
But if I had to say you looked like anyone, I'd say you look like Jenny Craig herself.

Millie 107,009 10
06/15/2009 05:35 AM

Yuck. That's almost as bad as when Chickens said I looked like that skinny waitress.

LeLibrePenseur 3 2
09/03/2009 10:49 PM

Man this is hilarious!!
Anyway, who likes Ashley?

Chance 168,178 11
09/03/2009 10:50 PM

Ashley who?

Thud 53,060 10
09/04/2009 02:28 AM

Syncope, you've raised the bar for yourself with this one. Quite a selection of douchebags and tards.

Well done.