KChikita Banana Box 128,409 98
06/15/2009 09:51 AM

wicked busy life of poopy diapers and full-time summer classes.

Boy are YOU the optimistic one!

Lobsta- Now With FIBER!! 18,570 33
06/15/2009 09:51 AM

PS: If you would like boobie pics of the really full of milky goodness type, email your request to my yahoo address.

The Mailman 176,464 56
06/15/2009 09:59 AM

Here is some Mojo for you.
Make sure you drink as much of it as you can while you are still pregnant.

Remarkably similar to a Ravos 63,472 21
06/15/2009 09:59 AM

I could of sworn I've seen a thread from you before saying you were leaving, but that obviously didn't come to pass either.

You better not be getting our hopes up again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

peoriagrace 6,166 11
06/15/2009 10:33 AM

Mojo Lobster, praying for healthy you and baby.

Pubah 56,829 18
06/15/2009 09:48 PM

Rubs a poopy diaper over keyboard

Tons of Mojo to you, Lobstah

May EVERYTHING come out alright and the both of you live to be 80.

Looking forward to hearing you sing the post partum blues...

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/15/2009 11:01 PM

In all sincerity, best of luck to you in this, life's greatest adventure.

/sincere



I will miss you.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/15/2009 11:16 PM

Mojo for you Lobster! I am so going to tap your daughter in 18 years.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/15/2009 11:43 PM

Good luck with that foetus thing, eh?

UnderWhelmed 101,398 77
06/16/2009 05:18 AM

I miss Aimless and her fetus puppet. So far, I haven't seen anything so creative come from Lobster's baby, but I sure as hell am going to steal it, just the same.

Thud 68,506 19
06/16/2009 07:22 PM

Good luck, Lobster.

Just Plain Jeeni 47,804 51
06/16/2009 08:06 PM

Damn, she's taking her sweet time, huh? Much mojo for you, Lobstah.

P.S. Watch out for Undies - I think she's serious.

Lobsta- Now With FIBER!! 18,570 33
06/21/2009 09:42 PM

Ravos,
I said mini vacation, not permanent stay-away-cation.



So I went in Monday afternoon and was induced. I was already in labor and didn't know it (I thought they were just strong Braxton-Hicks because they didn't hurt that bad, really not at all) so they started the IV and broke my water like 5 minutes after I got checked in.

20 hours later, I still hadn't pushed her out and hadn't gotten past a 4 out of 10. The baby's heartbeat was falling with each contraction, so they did an emergency c-section. At 2:17 am Central time, my baby girl was born. She weighed 8lbs, 12oz and was 20 and 1/4 inches long. I am very VERY glad I had a c-section, because that would have made my vejayjay horribly disfigured. So it's safe to say that I'm still just as loose as before I got knocked up.

Thank you to those who sent me emails and stuff.

I'll now return you to the regularly scheduled funny.

Dogs Akimbo 211,594 32
06/21/2009 09:54 PM

I am touched that I am the first person you would want to tell it to.

Mazel tov.

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/21/2009 10:03 PM

I want details you stuck up bitch!

Did you name her Billamina like you said you were? Are you still coming out here to have that three way with me and Robyn? Have you even thought to email me pictures?

Get with it girl!

Straw Trekkin across the universe 98,019 37
06/21/2009 10:22 PM

Congrats, sweetie. Your experience is similar in some ways to mine.

A girl huh? Get used to being OWNED.

syncope 49,019 14
06/21/2009 10:52 PM

Wait, is it too late to request milk-swollen boob pics?

Test Tube Baby 828 5 passing out pink cigars
06/22/2009 12:39 AM

CONGRATULATIONS !! CONGRATULATIONS !!

CONGRATULATIONS !! CONGRATULATIONS !!

Remember to splint your incision with a pillow when you cough.

I'm sure she's the most beautiful, intelligent baby in the nursery.

She's probably drinking from a cup by now.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/22/2009 02:03 AM

Your timeline is off. You went in on Monday afternoon. So let's assume that was between 1:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. Twenty hours later, they did a c-section. That would be between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. on Tuesday. Yet you claim that the baby was born at 2:17 a.m. (though you don't say what day).

So either you don't know how to count hours, or you mean 2:17 p.m. Tuesday, OR YOU MADE UP THE WHOLE PREGNANCY THING AND NOW YOU'VE SLIPPED UP AND I'VE CAUGHT YOU!

You're a pathetic attention whore.


Oh, and congratulations!

UnderWhere? 101,398 77
06/22/2009 06:51 AM

Congratulations!

Remarkably similar to a Ravos 63,472 21
06/22/2009 07:10 AM

Whistle while you wok.

TheVelveTurd 6,553 10
06/22/2009 03:45 PM

I stumbled across this and thought it to be fitting advice. I guess it works for post pregnancy too. Congrats.

MungChamp 35,891 35
06/22/2009 04:00 PM

Congrats Lobsta! We are all so excited you

have a new hole to violate
will be taking some time off
had a girl who's birthday is on Fathers Day to add to the irony.

have a new bundle of joy in your life. Speedy recovery to you! Send over some pics of your cooter .

Shell Belle 77,143 25
06/22/2009 04:01 PM

Congratulations, Lobster! Your mother's prophecy has been fulfilled. You now have a daughter that will grow up and act exactly like you.

The Mailman 176,464 56
06/22/2009 04:55 PM

Sincere congratulations!
I hope that you and your baby are in very good health.
Don't hesitate to post further news of your baby on ZUG.
Sure, people will say hurtful things to you if you do that, but who cares?

Lobsta- Now With FIBER!! 18,570 33
06/22/2009 05:02 PM

Your timeline is off. You went in on Monday afternoon. So let's assume that was between 1:00 p.m. and 5:00 p.m. Twenty hours later, they did a c-section. That would be between 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. on Tuesday. Yet you claim that the baby was born at 2:17 a.m. (though you don't say what day).

I went in Monday. I wasn't dilating so they put a cervadil in and that had to wait 12 hours to kick in. I was trying not to divulge the complications with my cervix. But then just now I remembered you'se guys are a bunch of creeps and prolly would get off on that.


Oh, and thanks.

Remarkably similar to a Ravos 63,472 21
06/22/2009 06:11 PM

Congratulations, Lobster! Your mother's prophecy has been fulfilled. You now have a daughter that will grow up and act exactly like you.

Ouch, huge burn from Shell!

Member Number 11477 47,804 51
06/22/2009 06:40 PM

Congrats, Lobstah! I didn't see your post yesterday, but when I went to Panara today, they were proclaiming to the world that you're back!

Thud 68,506 19
06/22/2009 07:07 PM

Welcome back, Lobster. Glad to hear you made it through in one piece.

So, did they install a zipper for future extractions?

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/22/2009 07:55 PM

Lobster,

Even though she was coming from the other disection, do you get to add her to the long list of people who have been in your vagina?

Hugs and kidnapping,

BTS

Bill the Squirrel 53,270 54
06/22/2009 07:56 PM

disection = direction


Spell check SUCKS!

Pubah 56,829 18
06/22/2009 09:42 PM

Glad you're okay Lobstah...Congratulations on the SheLobbie

How soon will you be 'back on the market'?

Remarkably similar to a Ravos 63,472 21
06/23/2009 07:04 AM

If you got a c-section, I guess that means I need to come up with a new plan B for hiding the bodies.

Chix is in da house 286,617 61
06/23/2009 08:18 AM

Milk dripping boobie pics?

email in profile

Congrats on the daughter. Mine is 15 and I'm ready to kill her.

Whistler P. McManus 186,130 44
06/23/2009 02:29 PM

Hey Chix, only one more year and then she can wreck one of your cars! Let's see: Hen wrecked a truck and the Porsche, CJ ruined the Prius...maybe you should get a Benz or a Beemer for Henrietta to demolish.

And don't worry that you're ready to kill her - that's just her hormones kicking in. In another 40 years or so she'll hit menopause and all that will be just a fading memory.

Shell Belle 77,143 25
06/23/2009 04:32 PM

Ouch, huge burn from Shell!

Did that come off as a burn? I was just referring to how a daughter can make your life hell. Every mother has been frustrated to the point that they say to their daughter at one time or another, "I hope you grow up and have a daughter that acts just like you!"

I'm genuinely happy for Lobster.

Rock LobstARRRGHH!!! 18,570 33
06/23/2009 04:35 PM

My mom never said that to me. I never acted out til I moved outta the house. I was afraid of momma's backhand.

Maruti Driver 360 10
06/23/2009 04:57 PM

I remembered something a friend told me once about parenthood, it was something like when you have a boy, you only have one dick to worry about, when you have a girl, it's every dick in town.

Might want to keep that in mind.

Remarkably similar to a Ravos 63,472 21
06/24/2009 07:48 AM

Did that come off as a burn? I was just -

Shhhhhh, don't talk, just cherish the moment.